Superstars 1-27-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 27th, 1996
Convention Center
San Jose, California

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We get a Royal Rumble recap and then a clip of Vader attacking Gorilla Monsoon. Our feature match this week is Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka, who still works here. 

Duke Droese vs. Steve Rizzono

They show the clip of Droese winning the Free For All match via a reversed decision over Hunter Hearst Helmsley. No one cares because Droese basically hasn't existed for months and even when he did, he was nothing. He hits the Trash Compactor or whatever it's called and that's all. He grabs his trash can to celebrate, which means something is going to happen and of course there is Helmsley to attack him from behind. He hits a Pedigree on top of a trash can lid and then pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts off a ton of Droese's hair. This was trash. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for the Slam Jam with Dok Hendrix and he wants to talk about In Your House. He hypes up the cage match between Diesel and Bret Hart. Dok's jacket is something else. Shawn Michaels will also take on Owen Hart with his WrestleMania title shot on the line. 

We get some still photos from the Razor Ramon/Goldust match at Royal Rumble. We then get a pre-recorded interview from Goldust and then see the 1-2-3 Kid interference from Raw. Oh yeah and don't forget, Jeff Jarrett took on Ahmed Johnson and we have more still photos. They show Ahmed being stretchered away due to a concussion, but he is back in action. 

Bob Holly vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

This is the debut here of Bradshaw, which should tell you what you need to know. Bradshaw is managed by Zebekiah, which should also tell you all you need to know. He attacks Holly and is all over him. Holly tries to make a comeback but runs into a big boot. Bradshaw hits a delayed vertical suplex but lifts Holly up at 2. Bradshaw hits a side Russian leg sweep but Holly ducks a clothesline. He hits one of his own, but it takes three of them to finally knock him down. Holly misses in the corner and Bradshaw hits a running lariat for the finish. Holly could have sold that a little bit better. After the match, Zeb holds him back by putting the rope around Bradshaw's neck. I know he's just doing a Stan Hansen imitation, but this wasn't that bad. 

Match Rating: *3/4

The announce team gets all serious and show us the actions of Vader from Raw. They show the entire thing, which was very well done. You can write a letter to Gorilla to wish him well and so that WWF can have your address. 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Tim Patterson

Helmsley is starting his gimmick of bringing a woman to the ring. Patterson gets in a couple of moves but telegraphs a dropkick and Helmsley hangs onto the ropes. Helmsley hits a suplex and a knee drop. Helmsley takes a long time to set up the Pedigree because he anticipates Droese. He predicts correctly and he shoves Patterson into the trash can lid shot before escaping out the ring. Isn't Helmsley technically the one who should be disqualified? We don't get an announcement. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

It's amazing that Tatanka is still here and that they are still dedicated to having DiBiase as his manager. We actually get a decent little match here with Tatanka being presented as a threat for some reason. The crowd is definitely into this and has to make two comebacks in this match. Michaels sends Tatanka off the ropes for Sweet Chin Music, but Tatanka slides under the ropes. This leads to DiBiase distracting Shawn and Tatanka attacking him. DiBiase grabs Michaels but he gets out of the way and Tatanka almost hits him. That's enough for Michaels to capitalize and finish off Tatanka. This was a good little match, as Michaels really couldn't do any wrong during this time period in the ring. 

Match Rating: **1/4

We go back to Dok to hype up In Your House some more. They hype up the Owen/Shawn match and show Shawn agreeing to the match with Jim Cornette on Raw. 

Next week the Godwinns will be here and Razor Ramon will take on Jeff Jarrett. Back to back weeks with WrestleMania rematches. 

Don't go anywhere, it's time for a Billionaire Ted skit. Ted challenges his team to come up with an original idea. It leads to Scheme Gene saying he has a hot idea but you have to call his hotline to do so and they all do. That actually was probably the best joke out of this crap so far. 

This was actually a good show. We got some storyline advancement, even if it's in a feud that no one cares about, a debut of a character no one will go on to care about for another 8 years and a good feature match. That's about as good as Superstars gets. 

Overall Rating: 48%

Clash Of The Champions XXXII Review

Tuesday, January 23rd, 1996
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas, Nevada

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Tony Schiavone recaps the title changes from last night's Nitro. We're back in the building where Nitro was last night and thankfully have Tony instead of Eric Bischoff. They hype up the show and then take us to A Little White Chapel in Vegas where Mean Gene is letting us know about the big wedding between Col. Parker and Sherri. 

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

These two teams start brawling to no surprise. Knobbs misses a splash in the corner and Grunge hits a back suplex. Sags and Rock are battling outside the ring and Sags crotches him on the guardrail. Sags goes and grabs a table and tosses it in the ring. Sags tries to throw Rock into the table in the corner but Rock counters with a bulldog. Rock hits a moonsault on Knobbs for a 2 count. The Nasty Boys set up the table in the ring and they ring the bell. Nothing has even happened yet. Knobbs ends up on the table and Rock hits a moonsault and the table doesn't break. Grunge tries to use a piece of the table that did break off but Sags grabs it and breaks it on Grunge. Sags then chucks the table at Grunge from the ring to the floor. They brawl up the aisle and we have a double DQ I guess? This wasn't good but it was lively and good enough for this show. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

After a SuperBrawl commercial, we come back to Eric Bischoff and he brings out Ric Flair and the Giant along with Jimmy Hart. We get yelling Ric and smoker's voice Giant on this one. This wasn't good. We do get a Karate Fighters commercial and Slick 50 for some nostalgia. They even throw a Tootsie Roll commercial boasting that it has 66% less fat than most candy. The 90s were the best. 

Dean Malenko vs. Alex Wright

Let's see if these guys get some time. I'm guessing no. We get a nice little mat wrestling intro with each guy showing off a little bit and Wright ends up getting the best of it. Don't forget to get on CompuServe for an "electronic chat". Malenko yanks on the leg of Wright and goes to work. Wright does come back and hits a German suplex into a bridge for a 2 count. Wright misses with the dropkick and Malenko hits him with a clothesline. Malenko dropkicks Wright in the knees and pins him for the very abrupt finish. What a weird match. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Kevin Sullivan vs. Disco Inferno

A guy dressed as Elvis comes out to Disco's music and he's eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich. He grabs the mic and does a terrible impersonation of Elvis. He says he's here to deliver a singing telegram. He reads off a piece of paper and I have no idea what he's saying. Sullivan attacks him of course and hits a double stomp on him. They throw him out of the ring and Jimmy Hart grabs the mic and says that Sullivan hates Elvis impersonators. This wasn't a match. 

We go back to Mean Gene at the wedding. Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater show up and say nothing of importance. 

Lex Luger and Sting are out to interview with Bischoff. He brings up the controversy and Luger quickly squashes it. Out come the Road Warriors and they high five Sting. Animal says that they want their belts and Sting says let's get the match signed. Luger intervenes and he talks about all of the other teams and Bischoff calls him out for naming the State Patrol. 

It's time for a WCW Magazine commercial. Even when WCW was huge, I never saw this magazine anywhere. 

Bobby tells Luger and Sting to not make the Road Warriors mad. Trust him. 

Now it's time to listen to a pre-taped interview with Paul Orndorff on a bench. He has a neck brace on and says that it's a career ending surgery that is needed. He then talks about the feud with the Horsemen. I'm not really sure what this has to do with anything. This did not captivate me in any way.

We go back to Mean Gene at the chapel and Parker pulls up and asks Gene for $50 to pay for the cab. Parker's phone rings and he's in a panic. We get lots of classic Gene-isms here. 

Brian Pillman vs. Eddie Guerrero

Somehow there is still an hour left in this show. I did not realize that this was the Bobby Heenan incident match. Pillman hides behind Heenan and messes around with him, which leads to an F bomb on live TV from Heenan and he walks away. Heenan was protective of his neck and this is said to be a shoot. Heenan comes back and apologizes for what he may have said. Oh yeah, there's a match too. Eddie hits some dropkicks and then a tornado DDT for a 2 count. Pillman tries to cheat with a pin with his legs on the ropes but fails. Pillman hits a crossbody and holds the tights for the win. After the match when Pillman is rolling out of the ring, Heenan avoids Pillman in another very real moment. This match was nothing. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Eric Bischoff takes forever to get to the point, which is bringing out Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Kevin Greene. This is your typical Hogan/Savage interview that has nothing noteworthy and they just say all the catchphrases. It does end on an awkward moment where they talk about who is going to hang out with Elizabeth later and Hogan says we all know that she's too much for Savage to handle. 

WCW Tag Team Championship Match
Blue Bloods vs. Lex Luger & Sting

Luger and Eaton eventually make it outside the ring and Luger hits a back body drop. Regal is tagged in and gets in some offense on Luger. We then get a bad looking spot where Eaton goes off the top rope and Luger was supposed to catch him for a body slam, but let me tell you, there was no slam. Sting gets tagged in and destroys both men before putting on the Scorpion Death Lock for the easy win. There was never a doubt here. 

Match Rating: *

We go back to the chapel and Sherri has arrived in a limo. They argue about Parker saying that he gambled all of his money away. I don't know but I am mentally checked out from this show already. 

Oh, I know what will get me back into this, more Eric Bischoff. We see Jimmy Hart typing away in the back and Bischoff brings out Pillman. Pillman threatens to swear on live TV and then talks about Orndorff. This wasn't as good as what I was hoping for. 

Psychosis vs. Konnan

Thankfully, we do get Mike Tenay out here for this one. He brings up that Konnan was on the Starrcade 1990 card. I'm not sure that Konnan was the best choice for this match but we all know that things will change soon. Call the WCW Hotline to hear about the skits on the other program. Konnan hits a big DDT and it gets a mild pop from the crowd. Psychosis comes back with a dive over the top rope and to the floor. They go back into the ring and Konnan puts on the Zip Lock for the unimpressive victory. This was not anywhere to what you think of when you think of these guys in WCW. 

Match Rating: *

We go back to the chapel and nothing happens worthwhile. 

After a commercial break, we are still at the chapel and Mean Gene is interviewing Sherri. Harlem Heat and Disco Inferno are there now. Gene says that there is a cast of "thousands" here. As they're saying their I do's, Madusa comes and attacks Sherri. That was about the least exciting possibility for this wedding that they have been wasting so much time on that you can think of. 

Giant & Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan

Kevin Greene and Miss Elizabeth are of course with the faces here. Before we even get any in ring action, Greene is in there ready to fight. We get the usual slow start which leads to Flair tagging in Giant and then Hogan tagging into the match as well. Still nothing really happens. If you tuned in to watch Child's Play, it will be immediately following this match. We get the usual Flair top rope spot, with Hogan slamming him to the mat. Savage follows up with a double a handle and a body slam. Savage hits the top rope elbow drop but Jimmy Hart is on the mat. Flair has a foreign object and hits Savage with it and that's all. Good thing that Greene and Elizabeth were both there to keep an eye on things. Out comes Zodiac and Brian Pillman and Greene and Hogan throw them over the top rope. Keep in mind that Greene is playing in the Super Bowl next week. The Steelers really allowed him to get involved? This stunk. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

It's pretty easy to see why they stopped doing the Clash shows. This was a worse version of Nitro in just about every way. All of the bad WCW was on display here. This felt like it was 10 hours long and it barely held my attention most of the time. 

Overall Rating: 32%

Off The Grid, Volume 63: The Main Event IV Review

Original Airdate: Friday, November 23rd, 1990
Allen County War Memorial Coliseum
Fort Wayne, Indiana

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Off The Grid, Volume 63:

I had planned on watching The Wrestling Classic this month and then I realized how much I hated that show, so I pivoted to this one. I have never seen this show despite being a fan at this time. We start off with Ted DiBiase with Mean Gene. They show some of his early shenanigans, highlighted by the twin referees. We get lots of laughing from Ted and that everyone has a price. He's a little more fired up than usual but says all his usual stuff. We go to Sean Mooney and Ultimate Warrior. Warrior says the power of his warriors can't be bought. He asks DiBiase what price is he willing to pay to be champion. 

WWF Championship Match
Ted DiBiase vs. Ultimate Warrior

Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper are your announcers here tonight. This show was taped on October 30th for those curious. It's also kind of strange that this aired the day after Survivor Series. We get things underway with Warrior shoving DiBiase around the ring. Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out of the ring and Virgil is there to check in on him. Warrior slams their heads together and then slams both of their heads into the ring apron. Warrior runs into a knee in the corner and DiBiase is able to hit a clothesline. He follows up with a second rope double ax handle for a 2 count. DiBiase hits a piledriver and gets another 2 count. He goes for a second one but Warrior hits a back body drop to counter out of it. Warrior runs the ropes but Virgil grabs his foot and Dibiase knocks him out of the ring. We go to commercial break as DiBiase goes outside. When we come back, DiBiase is going to work in the middle of the ring. We quickly get a Warrior comeback that is stopped short by a DiBiase clothesline. Warrior is able to pull off a backslide for a 2 count before DiBiase hits a suplex. He goes for another one but Warrior blocks it and hits a sunset flip for a 2 count. Interesting that they are going with Warrior as the plucky underdog here. DiBiase goes for another suplex and this time Warrior counters with one of his own. They collide in the middle of the ring and DiBiase is the first man back up. DiBiase goes off the second rope but Warrior hits him in the midsection. Warrior starts shaking the ropes and DiBiase sells it well. Warrior hits clotheslines and the flying shoulder tackle. He goes for the cover and in runs Virgil for the disqualification. Warrior nails him with a clothesline and the crowd is very much into this. He goes for the press slam but in runs Randy Savage and hits him with a scepter in the midsection. He hits a top rope elbow drop and starts throwing referees around the ring. This is all just absolutely nuts and I love it. Savage has the title and holds it up as Sherri gets in some cheap shots. After the dust settles, Warrior wills his way back up and holds up the title belt to his music. I really liked this a lot more than I thought I would. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

We go to Mean Gene, Savage and Sherri. Savage is doing a lot of his whisper talk, so much so that I have to crank up the volume to understand him. He talks about being champion and then we see Nikolai Volkoff in the ring waiving the US flag. We then go back to Mean Gene with Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. We get a commercial break and then see Slaughter walk down the aisle for about 15 seconds before another commercial break. 

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Sgt Slaughter

Slaughter attacks Volkoff before the bell and puts on the Camel Clutch. They continue the attack until Jim Duggan is out with the 2x4. Slaughter retreats and we don't have a match. I don't think anyone is too upset about that. Duggan waives the flag around. 

Big Boss Man is with Mean Gene and we're in the middle of the don't make fun of my mama storyline. 

Mr. Perfect vs. Big Boss Man

Perfect is without Heenan here. Perfect bumps around for Boss Man, who is at his peak as an in ring performer here. Perfect does the spot where he slides into the ring post below the belt. Boss Man comes back with a backbreaker before climbing the ropes. He misses with an ugly looking splash and Perfect is in control. It doesn't last too long and Perfect is back to bouncing around the ring. Bobby Heenan comes running out and Perfect hits a Perfect Plex. Boss Man somehow kicks at 2 and surprisingly there isn't much of a pop from that. Heenan holds down the top rope but Boss Man reverses and Perfect goes flying. Boss Man then goes chasing after Heenan and Heenan runs for his life. Boss Man goes back to the ring, but it's too late and Perfect wins by countout. Perfect then runs out of the ring with Boss Man furious. This was pretty good but Heenan running away was the highlight. 

Match Rating: **

Heenan is with Mean Gene and he's begging and pleading for Mean Gene to help him. 

We get the Playboy Buddy Rose weight loss vignette. They show him eating whatever he wants and that you pour a bunch of powder on yourself and use a fan to blow it all off. This was something. 

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana

I'm always down to see these two wrestle. Martel attacks Tito before the bell and we are underway. They talk about the Jake Roberts incident with Martel and Tito is getting the better of Martel so far. Martel goes on offense before climbing the rope and Santana meeting him there. Tito fights back and is all fired up. He hits a dropkick and a backbreaker. A clothesline gets a 2 count. Martel goes for an atomic drop but Santana counters that into a Figure Four which Martel counters into a small package for a 2 count. Martel slaps on the Boston Crab and Santana has to quit. That was a really good final segment there. How can you not love these two? 

Match Rating: ***

Mean Gene is with Jake Roberts, who is wearing sunglasses. They show the Brother Love show where he was sprayed. Jake's sunglasses were never cool, not even in 1990. He says that Martel gambled and rolled the dice and says that he came up snake eyes while removing his glasses and revealing the affected eye. I was very much into this storyline as a kid. 

We go back to Roddy and Vince to recap the show. We then go to Ultimate Warrior backstage and he gives his whisper interview before screaming about his rage. 

Yeah, so this show was really good. The Warrior era is often remembered as being a failture, but tonight, this was all really good. Everything had a purpose and it all had great pacing. This is a big thumbs up from me. 

Overall Rating: 80%

Monday Nitro 1-22-96 Review

Monday, January 22nd, 1996
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas, Nevada

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We are welcomed by Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael welcoming us as usual here. Randy Savage will take on Ric Flair tonight. Konnan walks up to the booth and introduces himself and says that he will be destroying Psychosis tomorrow night. 

WCW Championship Match
Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Savage is led to the ring by a bunch of women including Woman. Another looks to be Debra McMichael. Hulk Hogan comes out because of course he does. Since he and Savage are best friends, he wishes him good luck. Flair is out with Jimmy Hart. They start brawling outside the ring to start the match and Flair throws Savage into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Savage hits a clothesline and a 2 count. They go outside again and once again Flair throws Savage into the guardrail. Savage hits a back body drop on the mat outside the ring and Savage misses with a double ax handle off the top rope into the guardrail right as we go to commercial. When we come back they are once again slamming each other into the guardrail. I don't think I have ever typed that word more in a one match review than I have in this one. Bischoff says that Miss Elizabeth will be with Hogan and Savage tomorrow night. The Road Warriors and Kevin Greene are also going to be here tomorrow. Meanwhile, Flair has the Figure Four in the middle of the ring and starts using the ropes for leverage. Savage is out and makes his comeback. Jimmy Hart is on the apron and distracts Savage. Out comes Arn Anderson and he accidentally hits Flair in the face with the brass knuckles in front of the referee. The bell rings as if it is a disqualification but Savage hits the top rope elbow drop and the referee counts 3 and awards Savage the championship. Typical WCW. Oh and of course Hogan is out here too. Savage says to stop the music and Mean Gene is in the ring. Savage says that Hogan is celebrating like he won the match but Savage is the one who won. He tells Hogan not to embarrass himself like that. Hogan says that he won with a little help from his best friend which is debatable. Savage says that he's not Nick Bockwinkle and doesn't name #1 contenders but when it's his turn, he'll take him on and hopefully in Las Vegas. Hogan says he'll do what he has to do to become the #1 contender. Savage says he would shake Hogan's hand if he won but if he wins, which is probably going to happen, he wants Hogan to shake his hand too. The match itself was pretty cookie cutter but you got the rare world title switch on free TV, so that counts for something.

Match Rating: **1/2

Brian Pillman vs. Dean Malenko

Heenan never hit the highs of his comedy in WCW that he hit with WWF, but he is still so good at getting wrestlers over and is so valuable to their television product. We get mostly stalling here to start. Malenko gets the first bit of offense in and gets a 2 count with a reverse neck breaker. Pillman hits a tilt-a-whirl DDT and the announcers get on him for not going for the cover there. Malenko hits a variation of a powerbomb and we get an awkward spot where Pillman doesn't make it over the top rope after a dropkick. Pillman goes up top and Malenko is up there to try to stop him. Pillman headbutts him off and then goes for another DDT. This time Malenko counters it and hits a gutbuster that draws some cheers. We then get another weird spot where Malenko's foot gets caught in the rope and I don't see how the referee wouldn't have seen that. Pillman capitalizes and jumps on top of him and holds him down for a 3 count. I like both of these guys a lot but this wasn't good. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They hype up WCW Saturday Night and for some sick reason, I wish I could watch all of those as well. 

WCW Tag Team Championship Match
Harlem Heat vs. Sting & Lex Luger

We get a commercial break before the match begins. We get a commercial for SuperBrawl, which is less than 3 weeks away and we have 0 matches that I'm aware of. Booker kicks Luger in the back while he's running the ropes and the distraction allows for Stevie Ray to take control. Luger fires back with a double clothesline and makes the tag to Sting. We get some Stinger Splashes in the corner and he goes for the Scorpion Death Lock but gets hit by the scissor kick from Booker. Sting runs into a boot in the corner and hits a modified bulldog from the second rope for a 2 count. Bischoff really can be annoying as a face announcer. It's probably for the best that he turned heel. Harlem Heat hit a double face-first suplex on Sting and Booker goes up top. He misses with the somersault off the top and Sting makes the tag to Luger. Jimmy Hart is out and hands something to Luger. This whole spot is so awkward. Why does WCW suck at this stuff so badly? The tag to Luger is treated as if it never happened I guess because the referee didn't see it but you'd have to be a moron to think that Sting didn't tag him since he was about 10 inches the last time the ref saw. Luger stands in the corner with his hand behind his back just to make it even more obvious. He gets tagged in and hits him with it and the quarters burst and the referee thinks nothing of that. Anyway, we have new tag champions and this was just so poorly executed that it's hard to give it a good rating. 

Match Rating: *

One Man Gang vs. Hulk Hogan

This is your reminder that One Man Gang was somehow the US Champion in 1996. Only in WCW would you have two title matches that end up in titles changing hands and still main event a show with Hulk Hogan and One Man Gang. Hogan knocks Gang off the apron and they start "brawling" outside the ring. I use that term lightly. Back in the ring, Gang hits a body slam and hits the big splash. Hogan of course bounces right back up and throws Gang into the corners and hits a clothesline. Hogan hits the slowest looking big boot ever and hits a body slam. Leg drop is enough to end this match and put us all out of our misery. This sucked worse than you probably even expected. If you think it can't get worse, Zodiac comes out and tries to attack him. Then Chris Benoit comes out and Arn Anderson follows. Randy Savage is in there to help. None of them get any offense in because why would 10 people be able to take care of 2? Giant comes out but everyone holds him back. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Mean Gene is in the ring with Hogan and Savage...again. They basically give the same interview as they did earlier. They hype up Kevin Greene being in their corner tomorrow and same with Miss Elizabeth. Gene is excited about that. 

The crew recaps the show and hypes up Clash Of The Champions. 

On paper, this should have been an amazing show. Instead, this one showcased all of WCW's flaws instead. Their stupid loyalty to Hogan, giving title changes away just because and poorly executed finishes. The first match was fun but everything after was not great. 

Overall Rating: 41%

Review #1,000! Smack 'Em Whack 'Em Review

Release Date: Wednesday, April 21st, 1993

After doing 999 reviews of mostly weekly TV and pay per view shows, I thought I might do something a little fun here. I haven't watched one of these videos in a long time, so I figured let's go with this one. This one is famous for the Ric Flair/Bret Hart match, but let's see what else it has to offer. 

Lord Alfred Hayes is here in an old looking house and that we are going to get some tips from the Bushwhackers on remodeling. Hayes was always horrible, but he looks particularly disinterested here. The Bushwhackers get Hayes all dressed up for construction work and then we are being told we will see our first match. 

Berzerker vs. Crush

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to Erie, Pennsylvania and we're stuck with more of Hayes here. Berzerker has always been an old favorite of mine as far as gimmicks that didn't catch on. Crush, on the other hand, is terrible. They do a test of strength and Crush no sells the cheap kicks Berzerker uses and he then shoves him over the top rope. A shoulder tackle from Crush sends Berzerker over the top rope again. We get lots of "Huss" in this match, in case you were wondering. Berzerker is back in and hits a side Russian leg sweep. Crush fights back with right hands but he runs into a big boot. They keep talking about Mr. Fuji not being the manager of Berzerker anymore. The crowd is dead for this, by the way. You'd think you'd want to pick a match that the crowd is into for the opener of a tape where you pick the matches. Berzerker hits a piledriver and it gets a 2 count. Naturally, Gorilla is all over him for the nonchalant cover. Berzerker ties Crush up in the ropes and hits some boots to the face. They kind of just keep crapping on Berzerker most likely because he doesn't work here anymore. Crush comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a backbreaker. Berzerker misses with a dropkick and Crush puts on the stupid finisher and eventually the referee calls for the bell. This wasn't awful, but it also wasn't anything beyond a Superstars match. This was also just a really odd selection for this tape. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We're back with Hayes and the Bushwhackers. The Bushwhackers are measuring for a window and they start smashing the wall with a sledgehammer. 

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Gorilla alludes to the reason this match exists is due to the fact that Repo Man beat Typhoon. Repo gets the early advantage and hits a second rope clothesline. The interesting thing with Repo is that if he were Smash here, you wouldn't consider him an underdog here. Quake comes back and steps on him but then misses with the elbow drop. Repo goes off the top rope and kind of slips. Earthquake is ready for him and then he hits a powerslam. He sets him up for the big splash and nails it for the quick victory. This was another Superstars match. This match was from Dayton, Ohio. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get more Bushwhackers and they find some electrical behind the wall they are trying to demolish. This leads to Hayes being electrocuted with some terrible acting from Hayes. They turn on a light and Hayes appears to be dead, so they pass it on to Mean Gene and Yokozuna. Yes, this is real. 

Mean Gene is with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji at a teppan edo restaurant and Gene tells us that Yokozuna eats 1,500 calories a day. We now go over chopsticks and sushi, which in 1992 was a much more foreign concept to Americans than it is now. Gene eats some wasabi and then we get a video of mostly Yok chowing down on sushi. Yoko polishes off two plates of sushi and that's just an appetizer according to Mr. Fuji. The chef comes out and we get lots of classic Gene reactions here. The chef does many of the tricks you see at a teppan edo restaurant until Fuji says that Yoko wants his food. I can't believe that this is as long as it is. We watch him cook and cut up the meal and lots of Mr. Fuji encouraging Yoko's eating. Gene calls Yoko eating 11 ribeye steaks the most incredible display he has ever seen in his life. Next up is the shrimp. This feels like it is at least 45 minutes long. Fuji calls for dessert and Gene sells it and we're finally done here. 

It's time for the profile on Bret Hart. We go to Gorilla, who is with Bret, who seems really uncomfortable here. He talks about the ladder match with Shawn. This feels very much like public access television. 

Ladder Match For The Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

We're coming to you from Portland, Maine. This is the first ever WWF ladder match (I believe). Shawn gets the early advantage and then goes to get the ladder. He drags it to the ring and then Bret attacks him. We get our first ladder action with Michaels driving it into the gut of Bret in the corner. He tries to get a little momentum and Bret is able to move out of the way. We get our first climb with Bret reaching, but he doesn't get high enough before Shawn is able to pull him off. Bret hits a second rope clothesline to a nice pop from the crowd. Bret then hits a slingshot into the ladder in the corner. Bret tries to climb again and Gorilla is all over him again for not climbing high enough and now both men are down. Both men climb the ladder and the ladder tips over. Bret runs the ropes and Sherri grabs Bret's foot. That allows Shawn to hit the superkick. Shawn grabs the ladder but Bret dropkicks it and sends Shawn to the floor. Bret climbs the ladder and grabs the title to pick up the victory. This was obviously tame by modern standards, but it was very well worked and a good match for a new concept. The crowd was into all of it and that helped as well. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

Gorilla talks to Bret about having more title defenses than any champion in history. He talks about the upcoming match against Kamala. Bret says that he would take on all contenders. 

WWF Championship Match
Kamala vs. Bret Hart

Why would they pick this match? Kamala comes out to an introduction by Dr. Harvey Wippleman and gets absolutely no reaction from the crowd. We also have Sean Mooney instead of Gorilla Monsoon for this match. Bret gets most of the offense here. Kamala decides to ask Bret for a test of strength. Really? Bret steps on his foot instead. Kamala gets his turn for some offense here and everything about this feels cheap. Hayes is such a terrible announcer and Mooney is not meant to be a play-by-play guy. Bret catches a kick and hits a Russian leg sweep. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and now we have shenanigans. It leads to Kamala accidentally hitting Kimchee and Bret rolls him up for the victory. Kamala attacks him with the weakest looking chops that you'll ever see. He goes for a splash but hits Wippleman instead and Bret clotheslines Kamala over the top rope. This was all bad and I say this as a Bret Hart fan. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Gorilla says that people have been writing into Coliseum Video saying that we want to see the match where Bret won the belt. Can you imagine now if they did a major title change and no one saw it for months? Bret says that he knew he only had one chance to get the title and that there was nothing Ric Flair could do to stop him. He even sprained his ankle and dislocated his finger in this match and it still wasn't enough to stop him. 

WWF Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

We are in Saskatoon and at least we have Gorilla back here. Hayes and Gorilla both really hype up how good Bret is and that's a rare win from the commentary here on this tape. We get a pretty slow start to the match and some stalling from Flair. If you ever wanted to see Flair's butt, well this is the match for you. It wakes up the crowd and Bret destroys Flair after working on the arm of Flair for a few minutes. Bret goes to work on the leg and then slaps on the Figure Four. After getting out of that, Flair finally gets some offense and quickly puts on the Figure Four himself. Bret also escapes but Flair is still working on the leg of Bret. Flair goes up top and that of course doesn't work out well for him, as Bret slams him to the mat. Big back body drop and Bret gets a 2 count. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and gets another 2 while Gorilla wonders why he doesn't go for the Sharpshooter. Flair tries some chops and Bret pulls down the straps and starts leveling him with right hands. Bret props Flair up o the top and hits a superplex. Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter and Flair gives up for a pretty non-WWF Championship match finish there. I have seen a lot of love for this match and of course it was pretty good, but I certainly did not love this nearly as much as most. Having someone win the title at a house show, even in 1992, was a really dumb idea. 

Match Rating: **3/4

Bret promises that he'll always be the people's champion. 

Back to the Bushwhackers and Hayes, who is alive. We get lots of yelling and water. 

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

This is very much still the old school Undertaker. Razor throws the toothpick to the back of Taker's head and heads outside the ring. Taker goes after him and Taker falls for the oldest trick in the book. Taker naturally no sells any of Razor's offense and chokes Razor in the corner. Razor runs into a boot in the corner and hits Old School before it was called that. Taker misses with an elbow drop and Razor clotheslines him to the outside, where Taker of course lands on his feet. Taker snaps Razor's neck on the top rope as the announcers speculate what is in the urn. Razor comes back with a second rope bulldog and Razor decides to hit Taker with a chair to the back and for some reason it's not a DQ. Razor throws him into the steps and back into the ring. Razor hits a body slam and Taker sits right back up. Razor hits a side slam and Razor hits six elbow drops. Paul Bearer is on the apron and Razor snags the urn out of his hands. Razor hits Taker with the urn behind the referee's back but Taker kicks out of the pin attempt with authority. Taker is back on his feet and hits a chokeslam. Razor rolls out of the ring and heads to the back for the countout finish. Undertaker's lack of selling was pretty annoying at this point. The crowd was also pretty dead for this, pun intended. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We had back to the Bushwhackers one last time and they have a wet Hayes sit down in an ugly chair and set up a TV for Hayes to watch some Coliseum videos. Hayes sends us off and we hear some noises and the Bushwhackers say "Oh, no". What an ending.

Well, if you're a Bret Hart fan, this is a must watch because you get to see his non-televised first WWF Championship victory and the first ever WWF ladder match. The ladder match in particular is worth a watch. However, the Yokozuna segment feels like an eternity and Hayes, who is a terrible announcer and actor, is on this tape WAY too much. I don't understand how WWF thought anyone wanted this guy to announce any match. The Bushwhacker segments aren't even fun. One would have been enough. This tape gets a mild recommendation because of the two aforementioned matches, but nothing more than that. 

Overall Rating: 50%

Monday Night Raw 1-22-96 Review

Monday, January 22nd, 1996
Stockton Civic Auditorium
Stockton, California

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We get a warning about the graphic nature of the show followed by Sunny putting chalk on a pool cue. We then get a Royal Rumble video narrated by both Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler. They announce that Bret Hart will face Goldust, Hunter Hearst Helmsley will square off against Razor Ramon and we'll hear from Shawn Michaels. By 1996 standards, that is a huge card. 

After the show intro, we go to the arena (probably putting it nicely calling it that) and Vince and Lawler are talking over Savio Vega's music. We then hear from Jim Cornette in the ring and he says that the most important question is "What time is it?" It's Vader time. 

Savio Vega vs. Vader

The crowd likes Vader probably more than Vince wants them to here. Vader hammers away on Savio in the corner and gets a lot of cheers. Savio fights back and hits Vader with a kick that sends Vader over the ropes but Vader lands on his feet. Savio it out after him and Vader drops Savio on the guardrail. I know Vader was injured at this time but he still looks good all things considered. Vader hits the avalanche in the corner and hits the Vader Bomb for the easy victory. That was an impressive win. 

Match Rating: *1/2

After the match, Vader hits a body slam on Savio and sets him up in the corner. He hits a second Vader Bomb and then headbutts the referee before throwing him out of the ring. Another referee is out and Vader hits him with a right hand and gives him a powerbomb. Gorilla Monsoon is now out and gets in his face. In case you forgot how big Monsoon is, he is standing toe to toe with Vader here. Monsoon talks to the ring announcer and he lets us know that Vader has been indefinitely suspended. Monsoon takes off his glasses and they get into each other's faces again. Cornette tries to calm Vader down and it doesn't work. Monsoon hits some chops and Vader is stunned. Gorilla is checking on the referee and Vader hits an avalanche. He hits him with an elbow drop and drags him to the corner. He hits the Vader Bomb and out comes Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. Vader heads out of the ring and even Vince is getting into it with him, wondering how he could have done that to Gorilla. 1996 me was VERY into this and looking back at it, this is still such an awesome way to introduce this character to the WWF audience. We go to commercial with Gorilla laying there. When we come back we get a recap and they show Gorilla being helped. Gorilla was 58 years old here for those wondering. We see Vader and Cornette arguing in the back and Vader tells that Vader is waging war on every wrestler and every official and that includes Mr. McMahon and Mr.....AHHHHH! That's one of the few times up to this point where a wrestler has said Vince's name as something other than an announcer. 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Razor Ramon

This is the beginning of Helmsley bringing out a random valet to his matches. We get some still photos of Razor losing his Intercontinental title to Goldust with the help of 1-2-3 Kid at Royal Rumble. We get an interview from 1-2-3 Kid and Ted DiBiase who say that when you have a baby, you shove a bottle in their mouth and change their diaper, complete with props. Yes, this is real. Razor is dominating the early going into a quick commercial break. When we come back, we see Razor outside the ring and Helmsley hits a baseball slide. Helmsley tries to suplex Razor into the ring, but it's blocked. Razor tires one as well and that is blocked before Helmsley tries again and it's kind of blocked but it ends up with Razor being crotched on the top rope. Lawler tries to interview the valet. They do announce her name but does it really matter? Helmsley hits a clothesline and is showing a little bit more of an edge here tonight than normal. 1-2-3 Kid comes out and dumps a big baby bottle in his face. This actually fires Razor up and he hits some right hands on Helmsley before chasing Kid around the ring. Kid spits at him and that leads to more chasing and the eventual countout defeat. The match itself was going along pretty well but this was only here to give Helmsley a victory and for the feud of Kid/Razor to continue. Razor goes back into the ring and goes for a Razor's Edge but Helmsley escapes and heads to the back with his lady. 

Match Rating: *3/4

For comedic reasons, we're going back to Billionaire Ted's. Ted says that he's bought everything and he challenges his team to come up with one original idea. Scheme Gene says to call his hotline and all of the people at the table call it. Be careful what you wish for, Vince. 

They show Dok Hendrix and the Raw band playing live in the arena. I would have completely forgot this was ever a thing. Vince is in the ring and brings out Shawn Michaels, winner of last night's Royal Rumble. He says he told us so on winning the Royal Rumble and that WrestleMania is going to happen. But for the time in between, he wants to take care of the guy going around saying that he took him out and that's Owen Hart. He references the thugs that attacked him and that he will take care of them at another time. Out comes Cornette and he gets Shawn into putting up his WrestleMania title shot so that he can wrestle Owen. Shawn asks the crowd and they give him the thumbs up. 

They hype up next week's Raw with British Bulldog taking on Diesel and Shawn Michaels against Yokozuna. This crowd definitely got their money's worth in terms of seeing a Raw taping. 

Goldust vs. Bret Hart

A rare televised title vs. title match at this time. We get a pre-taped promo from Goldust as he's entering the ring, giving his performance last night two thumbs up. We get some stalling and a promise to try to get an update on Gorilla before our commercial break. When we come back, we're still not doing much. We get just a little bit of action and another commercial break. When we come back Goldust is in control of the match. Bret gets in some offense, Razor Ramon comes out and we get ANOTHER COMMERCIAL. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter and gets it on and that's it. This may be the most difficult lengthy match for me to grade up to this point. Why did they schedule so many commercials? Why would you have Goldust lose here? Vince comes in the ring and Bret blames Diesel for robbing us of a winner last night. He's sick of Diesel and he wants him in the steel cage match. Bret says that Taker will get another rematch. Bret's music is playing through all of this for some reason. 

Match Rating: *1/2

The match ratings here are nothing special, but believe me, this was a great episode of Raw. I know it's not sustainable to have this good of a show with anything that is weekly, but this is something that should happen much more often than it probably does. Lots of energy here coming off a pretty poor pay per view and that's very encouraging. 

Overall Rating: 80%

Royal Rumble 1996 Review

Sunday, January 21st, 1996
Selland Arena
Fresno, California

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We get Sunny in a bathtub telling us that viewer discretion is advised. This leads into a solid intro video highlighting Bret Hart/Diesel, Razor Ramon/Goldust and the Royal Rumble. Vince McMahon then screams us into the arena and is joined by Mr. Perfect. 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed runs down to the ring and we're underway. Jarrett sneaks out of the ring and baits Ahmed back into the ring. It doesn't work long and Ahmed hip tosses him across the ring. Ahmed hits a few shoulder tackles and a leaping clothesline. I love Mr. Perfect but announcing is not his strength. Jarrett is able to get Ahmed to leap at him and he goes out of the ring and gets his hand stuck in the ropes. Jarrett is out after him and throws him into the steps. Ahmed starts doing his version of hulking up by no selling Jarrett's double ax handles and explodes with another clothesline. He hits a spinebuster and then hits a dive over the top, kind of. He seemed to have gotten the worst of it. He throws Jarrett in the ring and misses with a somersault off the top rope. I completely forgot that he did that. Jarrett slaps on the Figure Four and the crowd is willing Ahmed into reversing it. Jarrett goes for it again, but Ahmed kicks him out of the ring. Jarrett grabs his guitar and hits Ahmed with it off the top rope for the lame DQ ending. Ahmed chasing Jarrett up the entranceway and we see the replay of the guitar smash. I'm not really sure what the point of booking this match was, since they clearly didn't want either guy to lose here. The match was fine enough for what it was. 

Match Rating: *1/4

Todd Pettengill is backstage with Diesel. He's kind of already back to his usual too cool for school persona rather than the edgy character we were getting. He says that he has no problem with Undertaker, his problem was with him being named the #1 contender. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Body Donnas vs. Smoking Gunns

We get a quickly paced opening with Billy and Skip leading the way. They do a fun spot where Skip and Zip try to pull the top rope to get Bart flipped into the ring. Bart lets go and then pulls both of them over the top and to the floor. We eventually get to a spot where Sunny gets up on the apron and Billy accidentally knocks her to the floor. Billy stops to check in on her and the Body Donnas attack with Sunny celebrating. Bart runs over to make a save but Skip hits a dive into Billy from the ring. The Donnas get a pretty lengthy heat segment until Bill and Bart are able to double team. From there they hit the Sidewinder but the referee is distracted by Sunny. This allows Zip to leap off the top and break up the pin attempt. We get a little bit of a messy finish with the Donnas trying to suplex Bart, but Billy knocks them away and Bart is able to hit an inside cradle for the victory. This was decent but more of a TV match. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Just what everyone wants on pay per view, a Billionaire Ted skit. This leads into a Goldust/Razor hype video narrated by Todd. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust is out with the usher and the debut of Marlena. Vince is drooling over her. We get lots of stalling, sorry, I mean "mind games" to begin. Razor gets aggressive on the arm of Goldust and slaps the back of his head. Mr. Perfect says that if Razor loses the title here tonight, he'll be the sad guy. I didn't know that he brought the dad jokes here tonight. Goldust feels up the chest of Razor and Vince says that was something different. We are then reminded of how young the audience is when you hear a loud "Razor" chant made up of mostly younger kids. Goldust slaps Razor in the face and that prompts a drop toe hold and more slaps to the back of the head. He then slaps him in the butt and that gets Goldust excited. Razor chases after him and Goldust hides behind Marlena. We get some mat wrestling that is interrupted when Razor hits him with a right hand. Goldust blows a kiss at Razor, so Razor clotheslines him over the top rope. Goldust uses Marlena again and attacks Razor from behind. Goldust hits a double ax handle to the back of Razor off the top rope. Vince explains to us that when you throw your opponent's back into something that it hurts the back. I did not know that. Goldust hits a bulldog and then uses the top rope for some extra oomph on a back suplex for a 2 count. Marlena then blows some gold dust into the face of Razor. Goldust puts Razor in the sleeper. Razor gets back on his feet and corners the referee, which allows him to hit a low blow by kicking his leg back. Razor comes back with a chokeslam and gets a 2 count. Razor hits the fall away slam and that also gets a 2 count. This is actually a better match than I remembered. Razor crotches Goldust on the top rope and he hits the back suplex. Marlena is in the ring and acts as if she twisted her ankle. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge but in comes 1-2-3 Kid from the crowd and hits a spin kick from the top rope. Goldust covers him and is your new Intercontinental Champion. I mean, you had to know they weren't going to let Razor lose without some sort of cheap finish, but it seems odd that Goldust and Marlena came up with a plan with the Kid, but I guess in kayfabe all the heels get along. I had remembered hating this match and while this was far from anything special, it was a lot more entertaining than I recalled. 

Match Rating: **

We have finished 3 matches and we aren't even 55 minutes into the show. We hear from Shawn Michaels' doctor, Owen Hart, Jake Roberts, Jerry Lawler, Barry Horowitz, Vader (with Jim Cornette) and Shawn Michaels. That was kind of a weird mix of guys. Why would you have Vader and Jake here rather than their entrances do the talking? Perfect and Vince talk about Duke Droese being #30 after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the Free For All, which means he is #1. They show a clip of him being disqualified for using a foreign object. 

Royal Rumble

Hunter is #1 of course and #2 is Henry Godwinn, unsurprisingly. A big thank you to the WWE for not paying for the rights for Godwinn's music and now we are forever tortured listening to this extremely loud, extremely generic banjo music instead. These two naturally go right at it and we are underway. They keep hyping up how this is the most exciting hour when in reality this match can be less than an hour, but who needs math? #3 is Bob Backlund just in case you needed a reminder of how stupid it is that they are making fun of WCW for how old their wrestlers are. #4 is Jerry Lawler. You know, more New Generation stars here. The heels team up and hold down Godwinn and Lawler grabs the slop bucket. Godwinn fights through it and gets the bucket. The heels go outside the ring, so Godwinn chucks it over the top rope and even gets some on the fans in the front row. Out at #5 is Bob Holly. Are they serious with this beginning? #6 is here and it is King Mabel. Who is going to be able to get him out of the ring? Out at #7 is that young up and comer making his return, Jake Roberts. Now with 100% more vest. He dumps his snake into the ring and everyone flees the ring. He puts it on top of Lawler and then thankfully he has him slide back into the bag with the help of the snake attendant. We get Mabel tied up in the ropes in the Andre spot. They do nothing with it so I'm not really sure what the point of that was? It's time for #8 and it's Dory Funk Jr., who looks 100 years old. Keep in mind that they just showed a video making fun of how old Hulk Hogan and Macho Man were. Dory is 54 years old here. Vince makes it very clear that Lawler has not been eliminated from this match. They find that Lawler is hiding under the ring and we get Yokozuna at #9. How are they going to get him over the top rope? Mr. Perfect questions where Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji are. Yoko dumps Backlund out and then goes after Mabel. Godwinn is behind Yokozuna and Mabel splashes both of them. Mabel hits a big splash on Godwinn and we count down to the 1-2-3 Kid at #10. He's being chased by Razor Ramon into the ring and all around the ring. The officials are able to calm Razor down but Razor is only playing, so he runs in gets his hands on him. Mabel attacks him and now this time Razor goes to the back. I could be wrong, but I believe this is the first time they have done a spot like that in the Rumble, so that's fun. Out at #11, it's the "wild man from Japan", Takao Omori. He comes out to absolutely no reaction prqobably because not a single person knows who he is. I just realized that Jake Roberts here is younger than I am in present day. Out at #12, it's Savio Vega. The crowd knows who he is and he also gets no reaction. He hits a spin kick on Mabel and that gets a reaction from the crowd. Yokozuna dumps Mabel out of the ring and that clears out some space in the ring. Lucky #13 is the man they call Vader. Now we have something to be excited about. Jim Cornette is at his side. He no sells a kick from Holly and starts nailing him with right hands. Talk about a disappointing way to enter the ring. How did they not him do a spot where he dumps 2 guys out? Instead, they have Savio Vega eliminate Funk. Did Art Donovan get in Vince's ear? He asks Perfect how much Vader weighs. #14 is Doug Gilbert and Perfect doesn't know who he is but is excited when Vince tells him. He talks about his history with his brother Eddie. Doug gets some terrible music and his entrance was something my cousins and I cracked up about since he looked like such a jobber. Vader gets rid of Jake for a mild reaction. Oh boy, at #15 it's one of the Squat Team members. Vader gets rid of the Squat Team guy and he's big, so the crowd kind of cares. At #16, it's the other Squat Team member. They meet in the entrance ramp and head to the ring together. Vader goes after both of them and clotheslines one of them over the top and Yokozuna eliminates the other ones. #17 is out and thankfully it's Owen Hart. Yoko and Vader work together to destroy Savio. At #18, it's Shawn Michaels. He naturally goes after Owen and now Vader and Yoko are going after each other. Shawn takes advantage and eliminates both of them. Vader comes back in and starts taking out his aggression on Shawn. Officials finally come out, but Vader dumps Shawn to the floor. They tell us that Shawn is still in the match. Meanwhile, apparently Hakushi is out now, so I guess he is #19. Gorilla Monsoon is in there now and he tells him to get out and Cornette tells him to listen. I love seeing Gorilla in there. #20 is Tatanka and he acts like anyone would care about him. Hakushi hits his cartwheel elbow on Owen. Those two deserved a proper feud. They show the replay of Michaels eliminating Vader and Yoko, which is honestly part of the reason I always laugh when they wonder how anyone will get any big guy out of the ring. Shawn can eliminated 1,000 pounds by himself. #21 is Aldo Montoya. You just can't have a Royal Rumble without Aldo. Perfect jokes that his jock is on the wrong part of his body and Vince just replies with a "I don't know about that". Triple H is in the Rick Martel spot here, as he's still in there. Shawn now leaves the ring and goes under the ring. He comes back and is dragging Lawler out by his legs. Lawler is hanging onto anything he can, but Shawn gets him back into the ring. It's time for #22 and it's Diesel. They surprisingly don't tease a breakup with him and Shawn, instead they trade a few shots. #23 is Kama and Vince tells us that the crowd is enjoying the Royal Rumble as he walks to the ring to no reaction. Why is Bob Holly still in this match? They have no storyline for him after this and I could be wrong, but don't think he's even on a pay per view the rest of the year. Maybe Survivor Series? At #24, it's the Ringmaster. He'll never pan out. For some reason, I really thought he would have a big impact on this match. I was wrong. Finally, Holly is eliminated by Ringmaster. What a way to make the crowd care about him. #25 is the heavy favorite, Barry Horowitz. Diesel just dumps over Hunter sort of out of nowhere. Out at #26 is someone who will definitely not make a difference in this match, Fatu. He hits a big kick on Kama and shoves him in the corner. There really has been a lack of action in a lot of this. I know I seem to feel that way about most of these Rumbles I have reviewed. They tease a suplex elimination spot with Owen and Shawn as we count down to #27 and that's Isaac Yankem. He sucks. Owen hits an enziguri and then somehow Owen is eliminated. #28 is Marty Jannetty, looking as dorky as ever. Marty and Shawn start battling and they both get knocked down. I appreciate the effort, but it felt rushed. #29 is British Bulldog to give us the follow up to last year's Rumble. They show Diana in the crowd and Bulldog eliminates Marty. Perfect realizes they missed Ringmaster get eliminated. Shawn and Bulldog are fighting outside the ring and in comes Owen illegally to attack Shawn. Shawn comes back in and dropkicks Yankem out of the ring. Sorry, I forgot to mention that Droese is #30, as we already knew. He gets eliminated really quickly and Shawn eliminates Bulldog. Kama almost gets Shawn out, but he skins the cat. Diesel eliminates Kama and as he turns around, Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Diesel for the chaotic ending. After the match, Diesel takes out his anger on Bulldog and then is back in the ring with Shawn. The music is now off and Diesel adjusts his glove. He then puts his arm above his head and Shawn does the cheesy high five to prove they are still friends. The finish was never in doubt, as it was clear that Shawn was their guy at this point. The roster still was in bad shape here, especially with having guys like Ahmed Johnson and Razor Ramon in singles matches instead of the Rumble. The action never got too exciting outside of a few spots. 

Match Rating: **1/2

WWF Championship Match
Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

During Undertaker's entrance, Diesel is standing there waiting for him. Diesel shoves Paul Bearer out of the way and they start going at it. They are separated and Diesel is heard saying "I ain't afraid of the dark". Vince says that this is Bret's 43rd pay per view match. Even though I actually did like Undertaker at this point in time. I was 100% behind Bret here. Bret tries to brawl a bit but it quickly gets slowed down and we get dumpy rest holds by Taker. I mean I know they got a lot of time to work with here but I am shocked that Bret was good with Taker slowing down the match so much this early on. Bret makes a little comeback and knocks Taker over the top rope. He hits a dive over the top and starts hitting him with right hands. Taker is able to drive Bret's back right into the post and shift the momentum right back in his favor. Bret is able to toss Undertaker into the steel steps and Bret starts working on Taker's leg. Bret locks in the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The crowd is clapping along but this match is a good example of why a face vs. face match isn't always the best idea. They like both guys too much here to really pick a favorite. Taker reverses it and Bret gets the ropes to break the hold. Bret continues to work on the leg and this one is really dragging. We go back outside the ring and Undertaker starts choking Bret with the microphone cable while Paul Bearer distracts the referee. This actually draws some loud booing from the crowd. Taker then throws Bret into the timekeeper table. Back in the ring, Bret is able to take out Taker's leg and now some of the crowd is booing that. Bret slams Taker's leg into the ring post and goes back to working on the leg. Bret hits a bulldog but then Taker pops right back up. Taker is moving around in this match like it is still 1991 Undertaker. Bret hits the second rope elbow and he gives the symbol for the Sharpshooter and that gets a lot of booing. He goes for the move but Taker grabs him by the throat. They go off the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Bret takes off the top turnbuckle and then removes the mask of Taker. Bret throws Taker's face into the exposed turnbuckle and the ref is good with it as people are booing. I'm sorry, but if you're cheering Taker over Bret, we probably aren't friends. Bret runs the ropes and leaps but Taker catches him and hits him with the Tombstone. Out comes Diesel and he pulls the referee out of the ring. One kid in the front row was so upset when he looked down the entrance aisle and saw Diesel. I love it. They announce that Bret has been disqualified. They booked themselves into a corner and you knew you were getting something like that. Diesel is then shown giving Taker the finger and heads to the back. Taker heads after him with a limp. They play Bret's music as he sells his injuries. Vince wonders if Bret would have been pinned while Perfect is 100% positive he would have. This was a huge disappointment and the crowd not firmly being behind a guy didn't do it any favors. They just worked at such a slow pace and it's a reminder that if Taker isn't working with a guy on his best day, he's not good enough to be considered an all time great. Sorry, just because you wrestled forever and had a bunch of matches where people carried you, it doesn't make you a great wrestler.

Match Rating: **

Now it's time for Royal Rumble Plus. We go to Todd Pettengill and Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla announces that Bret Hart will defend his title against Diesel at In Your House. I'm not sure how in kayfabe that Undertaker wouldn't get another title shot since he would have won but what do I know? Dok is with Shawn Michaels and he says that he has completed phase one. We go back to Todd and Gorilla and in walks Undertaker. He says that it will be a cold day in Hell before Diesel wears the title. Gorilla says he doesn't want what happened tonight to happen again, so he's making it a cage match. Dok is with Diesel and he says that Bret is living and breathing because he allows it. We're getting dorky Diesel again here. We then go to Todd with Jim Cornette and Vader. Vader is slamming things into the lockers and Cornette is just yelling. Now we get a video package of highlights from tonight's show before going off the air. 

Any show that I ordered has some nostalgia for me. I have probably seen this show at least 10-15 times and definitely don't hate it, there just really isn't anything that stands out to make it unique. None of the matches are that great and that definitely hurts it. You would have thought that Taker and Bret could have had a classic with the time they were given, but for whatever reason, it just didn't click. 

Overall Rating: 41%