Saturday Night's Main Event XXXIV Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
Air Canada Centre
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

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John Cena vs. Great Khali

Hey, we're showing you this match for free, but buy the pay per view tomorrow with them fighting again! Cena attacks Khali as soon as he walks in and tries to get him up for the FU, but fails. Khali pretty much manhandles Cena here, as really the only purpose of this match existing is to make you think Khali will win the title tomorrow night at One Night Stand. Cena tries to get Khali up for the FU again, but this time he gets him in the air, but Khali elbows him. He hits the double hand chokeslam and then covers him with one foot and gets the pretty unprecedented win over Cena here. Cena basically never loses anything and they are throwing it away for this feud on a pointless show. After the match Khali yells at Cena and then Ranjin Singh says that Khali will beat him anywhere and become WWE Champion. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

There is nothing more that I want to see than an arm wrestling match between Mr. McMahon and Bobby Lashley. I definitely also want to see a whole segment just showing me the backstory on this feud too. Vince does the typical heel move of backing out to get ready. He then says that he won't embarrass Lashley tonight, only tomorrow night. So he brings out Mark Henry instead. Lashley is starting to come back, so Henry attacks him. Lashley comes back with a spear, but then Vince hits him with a chair to the back. This could have never existed and no one would have complained. 

Maris is with Edge and he says that he is the greatest. 

Batista & Chris Benoit vs. MVP & Edge

Benoit and MVP kick things off. Edge is supported here in Toronto tonight. When Batista is in there, no one wants a piece of him, but MVP is the one stuck with him. Benoit hits a trio of German suplexes and then knocks Edge off the apron while climbing the top rope. That gives MVP the extra time to roll out of the way of the diving headbutt. Benoit is able to hit an enzuigiri on Edge, but MVP prevents the tag to Batista. Benoit is finally able to make the tag and he hits a couple of clotheslines before hitting the running powerslam. Edge distracts Batista and then grabs his title belt before leaving the ring. Benoit hits a spinebuster and Benoit hits the top rope headbutt for the victory. This was as basic as it gets. 

Match Rating: *1/4

They show Finlay, Hornswoggle, Boogeyman and Little Boogeyman heading to the ring. 

Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Boogeyman & Little Boogeyman

Hornswoggle climbed under the ring before the match. We get a moment with Finlay and Little Boogeyman and Finlay slaps him. Little Boogeyman hits a DDT on Finlay and then he tags Hornswoggle, who we can only see his hand from the apron. Hornswoggle rolls up the sleeves and gives him the hat. That distraction allows Finlay to hit a kick to the head of Little Boogeyman. Little Boogeyman is able to get a small package in on both Hornswoggle and Finlay, but both attempts are broken up. Boogeyman then chases Hornswoggle to the back. Finlay kicks Little Boogeyman in the face and picks up the win. As good as Finlay is in this role, I think we can move on. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Just in case you didn't realize that this show is just all filler, here is Extreme Exposè. While they are dancing, they show Little Boogeyman chasing Hornswoggle. Boogeyman gets involved and Finlay hits him with the shillelagh and then mocks his dancing. It comes back out to the ring and they lift up Layla and Brooke on their shoulders for a chicken fight. Little Boogeyman then chases him back up the entrance ramp. I would not be too mad if Netflix continues to take their time on uploading 2007 Raw episodes. 

Kane, Doink & Eugene vs. Kevin Thorn, Viscera & Umaga

Just when you think things can't get any worse, they give you Kane. Doink stalls to fill airtime here and then Thorn finally hits him with a clothesline. Eugene is wearing his superhero costume and now has buzzed hair. Umaga takes care of him and I can't believe this match is still going on. This is a 3 minute and done match. Instead they're making us sit through 11 minutes of it. Viscera hits his big side slam on Eugene and Eugene rolls out of the ring. Kane gets tagged in and takes care of the other team. He hits the worst looking top rope clothesline in the business on Thorn, but Umaga breaks it up. Thorn tags in Viscera and he misses a splash in the corner. Kane hits a chokeslam and wins. This was absolutely terrible. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

We then get a music video recap of this turd of a show. 

I am far away from reviewing all of the Saturday Night's Main Events, but I would be shocked if this one doesn't end up in the bottom 3. There were no redeeming qualities to this one and did nothing to make me want to watch One Night Stand. 

Overall Rating: 24%

Monday Nitro 10-9-95 Review

Monday, October 9th, 1995 
Rosemont Horizon
Rosemont, Illinois

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They show Hulk Hogan getting his moustache shaved off. Eric Bischoff, Bobby Henan and Steve McMichael are all wearing Chicago Bears jerseys. Heenan's has a ? instead of a number. Sting joins them and says that he has a solution for a problem between Randy Savage and Lex Luger. 

United States Championship Match
Shark vs. Sting

Shark's gear has to be among some of the worst there is out there. Shark hits a few moves until he misses in the corner. Stink leaps into him from behind, causing Shark to hit the ring post. Sting hits a top rope crossbody and that's it. Whatever. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show all of the Hogan drama from last week again. 

Sabu vs. Mr. JL

It's probably a good idea to let Sabu wrestle someone who is used to Sabu's style. With this being a Chicago crowd, they are very much into Sabu. Sabu hits a lot of the high notes. He goes for a hurricanrana off the top, but Mr. JL blocks it. Mr. JL goes off the top rope, but Sabu catches him for a powerbomb. He puts on the Camel Clutch and picks up the victory. After the match, he hits a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor. This felt chaotic in a good way for 1995. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Mean Gene is in the ring with Sting and Lex Luger. In order for Sting to solve the problem, he calls out Randy Savage. Sting wonders why Giant hasn't put his hands on Sting. Sting tells him that he's paranoid and talks about how all of them want to become champion. Sting says that if Luger beats Meng and Savage beats Kamala, the two of them should square off. Luger isn't happy about it and Sting calls him disgusting for that. He says he's tired of sticking up for Luger. Luger looks like he's trying not to crack up. Luger agrees and Savage does as well. This was really cheesy. 

They show Chris Benoit arriving in a limo. 

Disco Inferno is out to dance again. They cut off his music and he turns on his boom box as Big Bubba enters. He keeps doing it while Hawk comes out too. He then steals a kid's WCW hat and puts it on the spike of Hawk. Right. 

Big Bubba Rogers vs. Road Warrior Hawk

Hawk hits a powerslam on Hawk and then Disco Inferno starts dancing on the ring. Hawk rips his shirt and chases him down the aisle. It causes a countout and that's all. Lame.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Mean Gene brings out Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart. Hogan comes out in all black and tells both Gene and Jimmy not to talk. Hogan talks trash, but Gene says that won't happen because he is barred from the arena tonight. He then talks about Vince McMahon choking on his own ego for whatever reason. He then talks about beating Gorgeous George in heaven. I don't know, he's just doing his usual nonsensical promo. They show Giant and Taskmaster trying to get in the arena with a monster truck. The cops won't let him in, so Hogan says he'll go back there himself. 

Steel Cage Match
Arn Anderson vs. Ric Flair

They hype up this match as being a pay per view caliber match and they aren't wrong there. However, we go to commercial within the first minute, which never helps. When we come back and Arn hits a spinebuster. Out comes Brian Pillman to start climbing the cage. Flair sees him and shoves him to the floor. Flair tries to put on the Figure Four, but Arn hits Flair with something and that's enough to pick up the win. They show the replay and he has brass knuckles. They couldn't have given us a few more minute of ring action there? 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Ric is fuming and goes to the announcer booth. He says he wants both Pillman and Arn next week. We then get more recap stuff from the announcers. Next week it will be Diamond Dallas Page vs. Johnny B. Badd, Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero and Meng vs. Jim Duggan. 

This was another underwhelming show. They had a hot crowd and didn't really take advantage of it. They are so stuck on anything Hogan, that they just don't care about much else. Even the Luger and Flair segments always seem to be rushed. This wasn't bad, just not as good as I felt it should have been.

Overall Rating: 42%