Off The Grid, Volume 32: WrestleMania Review

Sunday, March 31st, 1985
Madison Square Garden
New York, New York

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Off The Grid, Volume 32:

After a still photo intro, we go to Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, with Gorilla quickly passing it off to Howard Finkel in the ring. He introduces Mean Gene Okerlund to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" and it's not good. Speaking of not good, they throw it over to Lord Alfred Hayes to talk about the pre-recorded comments from the competitors in the opener. Tito Santana talks about not knowing much about the Executioner, but he's going to show him what the big leagues are all about. The Executioner talks about going after the leg of Santana. Thrilling stuff.

Executioner vs. Tito Santana

What a way to kick off what would be the biggest annual event in wrestling than with a match including a guy no one has ever seen before. Tito comes out hot and dropkicks Executioner out of the ring. Executioner keeps his promise and goes after the leg of Tito. Tito fires back, but gets hit with a back body drop. Executioner goes up top, but Tito is there to throw him off the top. Tito goes for a splash, but Executioner gets the knees up. I guess I should just note that Executioner is Buddy Rose. Tito comes back with a flying forearm and slaps on the Figure Four to go down in history as the winner of the first WrestleMania history. This was a little bit better than I remembered, but I also love Tito. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Lord Alfred again gets the honor of introducing pre-recorded interviews. SD Jones is going to get down today, baby. King Kong Bundy talks about the 5 count. 

King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones

I feel like I have to mention how much I hate the ring announcer's microphone and the ring bell during this era. Bundy drives Jones into the turnbuckle and splashes him. He then hits the splash in the middle of the ring and that's all. He must have forgotten about the 5 count there. They talk about it possibly being in record time. It definitely is the shortest match in WrestleMania history up to this point. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Matt Borne and Ricky Steamboat both have pretty typical pre-match promos. 

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat leapfrogs Borne a couple of times and hits him with a chop. Steamboat hits an atomic drop and continues the attack. Borne gets in a couple of suplexes and then gets criticized by Gorilla for his pin attempt. They kind of trade moves and next thing you know, Steamboat hits a crossbody off the second rope and that's all? This felt rushed and considering they were able to cram 3 matches in less than 30 minutes, I'm not really sure why it had to be? Anyway, Steamboat is always fun to watch. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Back to Hayes to talk about the next match with all of the wrestlers walking by him. I know it's noisy and live, but Hayes is just so bad. David Sammartino is with daddy and he cuts a generic promo. Luscious Johnny talks about nothing and Beefcake spits into the mic. Boy, I can't wait for this one. 

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Bruno gets a nice pop for his intro. The match takes forever to start for whatever reason. This match is already worse than I remember. I really don't know why I made myself suffer through this match again. Plus, I still have to do December To Dismember. I know by looking at this review you would never know it's over 10 minutes, but we finally get everyone in the ring after Johnny body slams David outside the ring. The ref calls for bell and puts us all out of our misery. Absolutely the first terrible match in WrestleMania history. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Greg Valentine shows a little bit more charisma than I'm used to from him. Junkyard Dog cuts his usual fun promo. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Greg Valentine vs. Junkyard Dog

Valentine is on the mat and JYD does his trademark headbutts, which is honestly one of the least convincing moves. But at the same time, it was over, so what do I know. Valentine regains his composure and goes to work on the leg. He goes for the Figure Four, but it's a little early and JYD kicks out of it. JYD makes a comeback and it leads to Valentine accidentally hitting Jimmy on the apron. Valentine trips JYD up and uses the ropes to pick up the pinfall victory. Talk about a match having absolutely no flow whatsoever. Out comes Tito Santana and now the referee is counting Valentine out. JYD then gets the victory by countout. This is just embarrassingly bad booking. Valentine is furious, but heads to the back. This was not much better than the last turd. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie think they will be the next champions. Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo and Captain Lou cut a boring promo about being on their way to the ring, even though they're wearing Polo shirts. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham

They naturally do the Soviet anthem gimmick, leading to trash being thrown in the ring. I guess I never realized he went by Rotundo instead of Rotunda during this era. Probably because I just didn't care enough. The champs start off hot and Sheik hits a dropkick on Volkoff by mistake. At least there's some action in this match. I do love me some Barry Windham during this time period. He just feels out of place in WWF to me. Volkoff rams Rotundo's face into the spiked boot of Sheik and Sheik hits an elbow drop for a 2 count. Sheik still looks pretty good here. Rotundo is able to hit a vertical suplex, but only Sheik can make the tag. Lou and Blassie are having some words outside of the ring while Sheik has Rotundo in an abdominal stretch. Rotundo barely makes the tag to Windham and it almost feels like a mistake that he did. Windham hits a bulldog that Volkoff looked like he had never taken before. All four men are in the ring, but not for long when Rotundo hits a dropkick on Sheik to knock him out of the ring. This allows him to grab Blassie's cane and he hits Windham with it behind the referee's back and we have new champions. These matches have no flow to them at all and just feel like guys doing moves for no reason. There's just no psychology, which I thought was supposed to be the strength of this era. 

Match Rating: *1/4

We go straight to Mean Gene for a live interview with the new champions. Blassie was pretty fun here, claiming to not have a cane. How is there still an hour left in this show? 

Back to Lord Alfred Hayes to lull us to sleep. Big John Studd and Heenan get about 15 seconds to cut a promo. Seriously, why so short? 

Career vs. $15,000 Body Slam Match
Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Words can't describe how excited I am to watch this again. So Andre is so confident that he can body slam Studd that he put his career on the line. If you like bear hugs and punches, this match is for you. Andre catches a boot of Studd and stalls before hitting a right hand. Andre hits some kicks that look like love taps and then body slams him. The match is over and he grabs the bag full of money and throws it into the crowd. Heenan grabs the bag and runs off. What a stupid match. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

Mean Gene is with Andre and he's all smiles. That makes one of us. 

We go to pre-recorded comments from Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter, who are fired up. Moolah and Leilani Kai say that they will do what they have to do. 

WWF Women's Championship Match
Leilani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

As much as I don't care for this era, Lauper was a top tier celebrity in WWF. Leilani Kai has to be the least well known wrestler to appear in two title matches at WrestleMania. Well, we have ourselves another match where both competitors are just doing moves for no reason. Richter is able to get both feet up at a charging Kai for a 2 count. Moolah gets involved and pulls Richter's hair. Lauper comes to her aid. Kai hits a boot to the sternum, but Richter fights back because moves don't matter. Richter hits a nice slam off her shoulder, but Kai kicks out. Richter runs into both knees and Kai gets a 2 count. Kai hits a top rope crossbody and Richter sloppily rolls over and is your new champion. We almost have a brawl after the match, but it leads to the champ celebrating with Lauper. I just can't believe how poorly constructed all of these matches are. It's like amateur hour. 

Match Rating: *

Gene is with the new champ and Lauper cuts a funny promo with lipstick all over her teeth. 

Billy Martin is here as the guest ring announcer. He then brings out Liberace and this at least makes it feel like something a little bit more unique. We see the famous clip of him dancing with the ladies that they love to show. I think I have checked how much time is left on this show about 73 times. Out comes Muhammad Ali to be the guest referee, which is pretty awesome. 

Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan & Mr. T

Piper comes out to a Scottish band. Bob Orndorff is in their corner and Jimmy Snuka is Hogan's corner. Mr. T and Piper have a heated exchange to start things off. It eventually leads to all four men getting into a brawl and then Snuka and Orndorff are involved too. Snuka wants to hit a dive, but just jumps down. Piper and Orndorff head to the back, but Hogan breaks up Pat Patterson's count. Hogan calls them back and all four start fighting again. Hogan hits a big boot, but Piper goes over the top rope to the floor. Orndorff attacks him from behind and now Hogan is on the floor. Piper hits Hogan with a chair to the back. This leads to lots of heel tactics on Hogan, with Mr. T impatiently waiting to tag in. T is in and he does...nothing. Hogan comes back in and the heels continue their dominance. Snuka and Orton are both back in there again and Orton accidentally hits Orndorff with the cast and that's enough for the pinfall. What a fittingly stupid ending to a terrible show. The match itself was fine, but if they put out something like this as a main event in 2023, it would get trashed. Orndorff is back up after being knocked out and is confused. He heads to the back and it's time for the Hogan celebration. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Mean Gene catches up with the victors before throwing it back to Gorilla and Jesse. 

Obviously the historical impact of this show is enormous and one that still lives on to this day. But I can't let that get in the way of how terrible this was. The promos were short and mostly bad, the action was pointless and even Gorilla and Jesse weren't very good. There is nothing worth revisiting and it just feels like a house show with Muhammad Ali and Cyndi Lauper on it. I don't think I'll probably watch this one again for a very long time.

Overall Rating: 28%

Monday Night Raw 1-23-95 Review

Monday, January 23rd, 1995
Manatee Civic Center
Palmetto, Florida

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Vince kicks off the show by apologizing to Lawrence Taylor and his family for Bam Bam Bigelow's actions last night. He says that Bam Bam has been suspended without pay. 

After the Raw intro, Shawn Michaels is introduced. He joins Vince at ringside and we're underway. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Smoking Gunns vs. 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly

I do like both of these teams, so hopefully they get some time here. Bart catches Kid for a powerslam and gets a nearfall. Kid comes back with a dropkick and he gets a 2 count. It's once again announced that Bart was the Gunn who was hurt in a rodeo accident. Billy is tagged in and hits a bulldog on Holly. Holly and Kidd are able to hit a double superplex on Billy, but it's not enough as we get our first commercial break. Kid hits a spin kick on Billy and shoves Bart. He tags in Holly and they hit a double dropkick. Both Kid and Billy are down, but Kid knocks Bart off the apron to make sure he doesn't make the tag. Bart's been fired up a couple of times now after some heelish tactics by Kid. Bart finally gets tagged in and goes after both opponents. The Gunns hit the spinning leg drop/side suplex and then a double side Russian leg sweep into a second commercial break. Holly cheats by hitting Billy and that allows Kid to attack Bart. Holly comes in and regains control for his team. He heads up top, but runs into a boot on the way down from Billy. His future partner, Bart, is tagged in and they hit their finisher to become new champions. After a couple months of having no champions, we have had two in the last 24 hours. The match itself was pretty good, but not nearly as compelling as the match at Royal Rumble. 

Match Rating: ***

After a commercial, Vince interviews the ex-champions and they cut a terrible promo. Holly is so bad, that Kid just interrupts him and gets to the point that they want a rematch from the Gunns. 

We go to Todd Pettengill with a yellow notepad in hand. He goes over all of the shenanigans from the WWF Championship match the night prior. Next up, Todd tries to tell us that the Undertaker/IRS match lived up to the billing. Right. Next, he recaps the Intercontinental Championship match. These are all recaps with no video or pictures. 

IRS vs. Buck Quartermaine

We're instantly joined by Roddy Piper on the phone. Roddy is so proud of the New Generation and thought last night was one of the best Royal Rumbles he's ever seen. Not that this is Piper at his best, but it's always better than focusing on an IRS match. IRS hits a clothesline and that's all. Great. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get another Man Mountain Rock promo. He actually was in the dark match opener before this episode. 

It's time for the King's Court and the guest is Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett gloats about his victory over Razor Ramon with Vince making sure that we know it was because of the Roadie. Jarrett stumbles over his words a few times here, but then says that he wants a shot at Diesel. Vince thinks Michaels has something to do with that. 

They talk about WrestleMania tickets going on sale and they play the great WrestleMania song, which just feels so weird with this era. 

British Bulldog vs. Black Phantom

Bulldog has some words for Michaels and that allows Phantom to get in some offense. Bulldog gets him up for the delayed vertical suplex while Vince argues with Michaels about Bulldog deserving to win. This is the obnoxious, phony Vince that was just so annoying. His argument really doesn't make any sense. Phantom gets in some more offense, but again Bulldog comes right back and hits the running powerslam for the victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They cut to Bam Bam in a suit, looking impatient. Vince tries to talk to him but they are having technical difficulties. We come back from commercial and Bam Bam continues to act as if he can't hear Vince. Next week, we have King Kong Bundy vs. Mabel in a two man Royal Rumble and then a rematch of the tag title match. Vince talks about the former champs having a week to prepare. More likely it's about 25 minutes. 

This wasn't the strong episode that I was hoping for, but it was definitely better than the average Raw from the era. The tag match was good and it felt like there was a little bit more life in the show. I am curious to see the build for WrestleMania, as I still wasn't watching at this time in 1995. 

Overall Rating: 51%

Royal Rumble 1995 Review

Sunday, January 22nd, 1995
USF Sun Dome
Tampa, Florida

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Pamela Anderson arrives via limo and the locker room drools over her. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor gets the hot start after ducking a clothesline and then hits an early fall away slam. After regrouping outside the ring, Jarrett steals a move out of Razor's playbook and trips him up and messes up his hair while he's down on the mat. Razor fires back and clotheslines Jarrett outside the ring. The Roadie is once again there to try to help Jarrett regroup. They make reference that Todd Pettengill showed off that Lawrence Taylor was in the building during the pre-show. We get some pinfall attempts by both men and then Jarrett slaps on a sleeper hold. Jarrett then does some pinfall attempts with his feet on the ropes and is eventually caught. Razor catches Jarrett's feet from outside the ring and then crotches him on the ring post. Razor then hits a second rope reverse bulldog for a 2 count. Jarrett then sidesteps Razor and throws him over the top rope. Razor is limping outside the ring and Roadie comes from behind and clips him in the knee behind the referee's back. Razor is counted out, but then Jarrett grabs a mic and says that he's here to win the Intercontinental belt from off Razor's waist and calls him a coward. He eventually gets Razor to limp back into the ring and the match is re-started. Razor gets a couple of cheap pin attempts, but Jarrett kicks out. Jarrett goes to work on the knee. Razor is able to kick Jarrett over the top rope with hit good leg, but Jarrett still goes back to work on the knee. Jarrett puts on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. After a lengthy stay in the hold, Razor does manage to get out of it. He goes for a second rope back suplex, but Jarrett falls on him for a 2 count. I would have guessed that to be the finish. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge, but his knee gives out. Jarrett goes for an inside cradle and we have a new champion. You can hear the groans in the crowd for that finish. The match was good, but the ending felt a little flat. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

We go back to Todd with Pamela Anderson and she's going through all the gifts that the WWF Superstars have given her. We get some pretty lame attempts at humor. We then go back to Stephanie Wiand and she's with Jarrett and Roadie celebrating. 

IRS vs. Undertaker

Who in the world thought IRS was going to win this match? Even more importantly, who cared? We get lots of stalling and then Undertaker dominates. IRS and DiBiase are frustrated, so now it's time to bring out the druids. Again, who cares? There is no reason both of these guys shouldn't have been in the Royal Rumble instead to help bolster the garbage roster for that match. IRS tries to use the distraction, but it doesn't work and Taker just dominates some more. The druids and DiBiase shake the top rope and Undertaker falls off. But since he gets to no sell everything, he is back up. IRS clotheslines him over the top rope, but he of course lands on his feet and goes after the druids. IRS attacks and throws him into the steps. The druids attack behind the referee's back, but they look more concerned with their hoods falling off than they do with hurting him. Taker is able to throw IRS into the druids and Taker gets him up for a Tombstone. The druids interfere and he kicks them off the apron. IRS escapes and hits a running clothesline. Taker sits up and ducks a clothesline. He hits a chokeslam and that's all. That was a really weak finish there. I will say, I don't like either of these guys, especially in terms of match quality. However, the action was better than I anticipated or remembered. The story is still terrible and never once did you think IRS was going to win. I guess all I am saying is that I anticipated a 0 and got something a little better. During Undertaker's celebration, the druids attack Taker. Taker fights them off and out comes King Kong Bundy. Not that I actually would believe that anyone would think that Bundy was going to win the Rumble tonight, here's confirmation that he wasn't. IRS attacks Paul Bearer and steals the urn. Bundy then attacks Taker as IRS goes to the back. So last year Undertaker was killed by Yokozuna and a bunch of others, this year he's beat up by King Kong Bundy. The creative for Taker was just horrendous, but I'm just stating the obvious. 

Match Rating: *

Todd is with Diesel from earlier on and Diesel isn't having it. They then go to an interview with Bret and all he wants is to win back that title. 

WWF Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Diesel gets started with some brawling and clotheslines Bret over the top rope. Bret is able to trip Diesel up and slams his leg into the ring post. Bret works on the leg some more before slapping on the Figure Four. Diesel is able to eventually grab the ropes, but Bret is relentless and goes right back to the Figure Four again. Diesel gets to the ropes again and Bret refuses to release the hold. Bret is playing the heel role here and after talking to the ref, Bret dives through the ropes on Diesel. Diesel is able to throw Bret into the steps to shift the momentum. Diesel hits a big side suplex and that gets a 2 count. Diesel runs into a boot and Bret then hits a second rope clothesline. Bret goes up top and Diesel gets him up for a press slam, but Bret counters and falls onto him for a pin attempt that gets a 2 count. Bret again trips up Diesel and this time ties up Diesel's legs together around the post. The ref cuts him free and Bret hits a bulldog for a nearfall. Bret does a slingshot dive to the floor and Diesel catches him before ramming his back into the ring post. Diesel signals for the Jackknife and there are some audible boos. Diesel hits it, but Shawn Michaels comes in and attacks Diesel before he can count 3. We get an official announcement that the match must continue. Bret goes right back to work on the leg of Diesel and once again puts on the Figure Four. Diesel is able to slug his way out of it and then Bret misses with a charge into the corner. Diesel comes back with some stiff knees to the gut. Bret somehow gets away with hitting Diesel with a chair to the knee. Vince thinks it didn't hit him, which is kind of weird. Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter, but then Owen comes out and breaks it up. The referee once again says that the match much continue. The booking here is pretty terrible, since there is no reason whatsoever that Bret shouldn't have been disqualified. Diesel crawls over to Bret and gets a 2 count. We get some brawling and Diesel goes to grab a chair. He thinks the better of it and while he's outside, Bret drops down to start selling a knee. He lures Diesel in and almost gets the victory with an inside cradle. We now get a ref bump and Shawn, Owen and Bob Backlund all come down. Out comes Jeff Jarrett and Roadie as well. They officially announce that the match is a draw and the crowd hates it. Backlund comes back in and puts the Crossface Chickenwing on Bret. Diesel clears out the ring with the exception of Bret. Diesel helps him up and they eventually shake and hug. I completely get that Bret was so desperate to win that he stooped to heel tactics, but it just makes zero sense that he would be able to use a chair in front of the referee and get away with it. All of the interference stuff was just too much as well. On the other hand, the action was really good here and better than most things for the past year in WWF. 

Match Rating: ***3/4

Back to Todd and Pamela is getting dressed. Hilarity (doesn't) ensue. We then switch gears to Stephanie Wiand, 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Holly. They cut a gee golly promo comparing themselves to the San Diego Chargers. Jerry Lawler then struggles to draw a picture of himself kissing Pamela in a failed joke. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals
Bam Bam Bigelow & Tatanka vs. 1-2-3 Kid & Bob Holly

The winner of this will face the Smoking Gunns tomorrow night. They really didn't build this story as well as I was kind of hoping they would have. Bam Bam and Tatanka were hardly impressive and as a result, it's hard for me to buy that they are the heavy favorites here. Not to mention that Ted DiBiase is a terrible manager and nowhere along the lines of Bobby Heenan or a Jimmy Hart. On a side note, the teams for whatever reason are not standing the standard tag team corners for WWF. Bam Bam runs through a double elbow and hits a double clothesline to take both opponents down. Bam Bam goes for a powerbomb, but Kid pops up and hits a hurricanrana, which was something you never saw in 1995 WWF. Bam Bam is able to come back with an enzuigiri. We get a double top rope crossbody, but they're both caught in midair. They counter that and push DiBiase's team into each other and get a 2 count. Tatanka ducks a clothesline and then Bam Bam pulls the top rope down to send Holly crashing to the floor. The action has been very solid here so far. The heels then dominate Holly until Tatanka and he hit a double crossbody. They both make tags and Kid clocks Bam Bam with a kick and then a missile dropkick. He hits a dropkick on Tatanka to knock him off the apron and then hits a somersault dive. He goes back up top and hits a top rope crossbody, but Tatanka breaks up the pin attempt. DiBiase gets up on the apron and Bam Bam press slams Kid to the floor. Bam Bam goes up top but for whatever reason, Tatanka comes in and doesn't see it. He runs the ropes and Bam Bam falls from the top. They could have come up with a better way to execute that spot. Kid rolls on top of Bam Bam and the "underdogs" are the champs. I didn't love that ending, but the rest of the match was entertaining. Kid was one of the best parts of the New Generation era and always seemed to deliver when given the chance. Bam Bam was motivated here as well. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

After the match, they show Bam Bam doing the walk of shame. He sees Lawrence Taylor laughing at him and Bam Bam doesn't like it. LT reaches out to shake his hand, but Bam Bam shoves him. You probably should never mess with a football player, but at the very top of that list is LT. 

They show a clip of Diesel in the Royal Rumble last year. We get a promo from Shawn Michaels about winning the Rumble and then they show the footage of the finish of last year's Rumble. Lex Luger then cuts a promo and then Vince apologizes for the incident involving LT. 

Howard Finkel then introduces Pamela Anderson, which really was a pretty big deal around this time. 

Royal Rumble

Drawing #1 is heavy favorite Shawn Michaels, followed by British Bulldog at #2. Shawn attacks Bulldog on his way in and we're underway. They aren't kidding that this is the fastest Rumble because before I can even process what's going on, we're on #3 and it's Eli Blu. No one reacts because no one knows who he is. Maybe they should have had him in a tag team match tonight instead of putting him in here as a meaningless competitor. Duke Droese is out fourth and he gets no offense when he arrives. #5 is my favorite in the match, Jimmy Del Ray. He gets Michaels draped over the top rope and out comes Sione at #6. Meanwhile, Bulldog dumps Del Ray out for our first elimination. #7 is Dr. Tom Prichard. Sione has Michaels over his head, but he's able to escape before having his night ended. Out comes Doink (and Dink) for #8. Before you know it, it's Kwang out at #9. This is quite the lineup they've assembled here. It's the return of Rick Martel at #10. We finally get another contender with the entrance of Owen Hart at #11, but before he even gets to the ring, he's attacked by Bret Hart. #12 is Timothy Well who appears to get a big pop, but instead it's because the camera misses Owen getting eliminated from the match. That's such a poor choice with the severe lack of contenders in this one. Then Duke gets eliminated and knocks out Earl Hebner I would presume by accident on his way down. Martel and Prichard are then quickly eliminated after. Doink is almost eliminated by Sione, but then Kwang finishes him off. Next thing you know the rest are eliminated as Luke makes his way into the ring at 13. He's quickly eliminated and we're down to our original two. #14 is Jacob Blu and again no one cares. Michaels ducks a clothesline and he's dumped over and again back to Michaels and Bulldog. King Kong Bundy is next to change the pace of this match. How will they get him over the top??? #16 is Mo and before you know it, he's no Mo. #17 is Mabel and the only mission tonight seems to be that they didn't want any tag teams to be in the ring at the same time. Mabel and Bundy go right at it in a dream match by no one. Mabel almost has him eliminated and Butch is out at 18. No, not Pete Dunne. Just like that Bundy is out. What a great way to build him up as a top guy to face Undertaker. Lex Luger is #19 and he quickly dumps out Mabel. We're now down to no one of substance left in this match, unless you for some reason think Bob Backlund is going to headline Diesel in a revenge match. Out comes Mantaur at 20, which gives Vince an opportunity to talk about how huge his legs are. Aldo Montoya is our 21st competitor. Not every competitor in a Rumble is going to be a big name, but woof. Henry Godwinn is #22 and honestly one of the best guys in this thing. #23 is Billy Gunn and he sprints in until it's his partner Bart at #24. 25 is Bob Backlund and he's going to win this thing. Just as he's getting in the ring, Bret attacks him on the floor. Steven Dunn is #26, as if anyone cares. Backlund gets in the ring and Luger helps him right back out. Bret then attacks him again on his way back to the locker room. Look at this youngster at #27, it's Dick Murdoch. Again no one cares and no one should. Adam Bomb is #28 and he has no shot. #29 is Fatu and he goes right after...Billy Gunn? I don't think that's going to make a difference. Luger eliminates Mantaur and we find out our last competitor is Crush. My favorite! He goes right to the Smoking Gunns and eliminates them both. Dunn is eliminated by Montoya and then Vince lets us know that one of these men will face the WWF Champion at WrestleMania. Those men are Crush, Adam Bomb, Lex Luger, Henry Godwinn, Fatu, Aldo Montoya, British Bulldog, Dick Murdoch and Shawn Michaels. This match has completely slowed down here and now we have Dick Murdoch doing the JYD headbutts on Fatu. You can't do that to Fatu. Bomb is eliminated by Crush, who is then attacked by Fatu. Michaels eliminates Montoya and then Murdoch tries to eliminate Michaels. Luger makes the save to a degree on Michaels for some reason. Fatu is gone and we're down to six. Murdoch puts Godwinn in an airplane spin and it leads to them both falling over the top, but Godwinn is able to hold on. Luger is able to eliminate Godwinn and we have a final four. Crush eliminates Luger, to which I ask, WHY? Michaels and Crush come to an agreement to team up against Bulldog. They work together for a minute and then Crush turns on Michaels. Michaels ducks a clothesline and Bulldog hits Crush to send him to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines Michaels over the top and Bulldog's music hits. It was clear that Michaels was still hanging on and he comes back in and knocks Bulldog out while he was celebrating. Bulldog would have a legit complaint of losing this match. They then show the footage of Michaels one foot hitting and just in case you weren't sure, Vince repeats "One foot" over and over. Michaels then celebrates with Pamela Anderson and she gets to show off her top notch acting skills. The match itself wasn't bad and it was the best year to do the 60 second intervals due to the lack of talent. However, the ending was never in question and they could have figured out a way to get a few more big names in this match. Undertaker and IRS didn't need to have that meaningless match and could have both been in it. Anyway, this was weak, but overall entertaining enough. 

Match Rating: **1/2

This show kind of gets an unfair reputation due to the lack of talent in the actual Rumble match, but outside of the Undertaker/IRS match, the undercard was very good. We got three good matches, even if the finishes were weak in all of them. I can't say this is a great show, but it's better than most people probably remember it being.

Overall Rating: 68%

Superstars 1-21-95 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 21st, 1995
Bob Carpenter Center
Newark, Delaware

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Razor Ramon vs. Charlie Hunter

After hitting Hunter with a right hand, Razor hits the back suplex off the second rope. He signals for the Razor's Edge and that's all for Mr. Hunter. Thankfully Razor didn't have to put up much of an effort just one day (42 days) before the Royal Rumble. Jeff Jarrett shows up on the video board and challenges Razor for the title right now. Razor tries to respond, but his mic goes out and Jarrett mocks him. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

When we come back from commercial break, they have video footage of Roadie messing with the audio. 

Henry Godwinn vs. Rich Myers

Godwinn hits a back body drop before driving him into the turnbuckle with his shoulder. It's kind of weird to me that Godwinn didn't get a WrestleMania match at 11. He hits the Slop Drop and that's all. He could definitely use a feud. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for Live Event News with Stephanie Wiand. Owen Hart predicts that he's going to win the Royal Rumble. 

Man Mountain Rock is coming soon and he likes Alice Cooper. You excited? 

Adam Bomb vs. Mark Starr

Bomb cuts a dorky promo during his match that's already too long. What's with these single squashes being so long today? Bomb goes up to the top rope and hits the clothesline 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for the final Royal Rumble Report before the show. They announce the Headshrinkers and Heavenly Bodies are now in the Rumble match and 1-2-3 Kid and Bob Holly are no longer in it. The Smoking Gunns are now in the Rumble as well. Boy, there is nothing more exciting than tag teams that Vince doesn't care about trying to win a #1 contender spot. Kid and Holly cut a cheesy promo ahead of their match. IRS stands in front of two druids and still is going on about taxes. Undertaker and Paul Bearer cut an even more generic promo. Diesel cuts a very serious promo and they then show us a clip from their match at King Of The Ring. This was a really long segment. 

Kama has a bad attitude and he's coming. 

King Kong Bundy vs. Nick Barberi

Lawler is picking Bundy to win the Rumble. Vince is between Bundy, Backlund, Mabel and Dick Murdoch. I'm not joking. To call Bundy's return uninspired would be too kind. He wins with an elbow drop. Yawn.

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to a Heartbreak Hotel filmed at a house show and Shawn Michaels' guest is Bret Hart. Shawn tries to get Bret fired up and it works. He grabs the mic from him and Bret tells us how great he is. 

Aldo Montoya vs. Nick Tarentino

Lawler compares the young girl ring announcer to both a beaver and a dog. We get a Portuguese promo during the match as he dominates Tarentino. He hits a nice dropkick before hitting a vertical suplex. He hits a reverse bulldog off the second rope for the easy victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Stephanie Wiand is back to tell us about how great King Kong Bundy is. Obviously she doesn't watch the product. Bundy tells us that he's going to win the Rumble. 

Lawler is about to give his prediction and then Owen Hart says he is going to win the Rumble. Neidhart interrupts and says he made him the King Of The Ring, so he's going to win. British Bulldog and Adam Bomb are out and then Shawn Michaels. 

This episode stunk, which is to be expected the day before the Rumble. It was also the third taping of the night, which is never a good thing. Nothing happened here that was noteworthy enough to recommend. 

Overall Rating: 28%

SmackDown 12-1-06 Review

Original Airdate: Friday, December 1st, 2006
HSBC Arena
Buffalo, New York

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Teddy Long is out and says that if you thought Survivor Series was hot, just wait until Armageddon. Boy has the bar been set low. He announces that Kane and MVP will faceoff in an Inferno Match and that Mr. Kennedy will go ONE ON ONE with the UNDERTAKER! Oh yeah, the show's in two weeks. December is such a terrible time for wrestling typically and they're giving us two shows there. Right after a terrible November show. Anyway, he brings out our new World Heavyweight Champion, Batista. Out comes King Booker and Queen Sharmell to interrupt. Booker is furious that Teddy Long changed the stipulation right before the match and that Batista cheated to win. Batista wants to go right now and then Finlay comes out to interrupt. Finlay says that Booker doesn't deserve a rematch especially since he's never beaten him. Finlay says he gets the match with Batista, which Booker isn't happy about. Teddy Long intervenes and comes up with a solution. Tonight it will be Finlay vs. King Booker vs. Batista. 

MNM vs. Paul London & Brian Kendrick

The match break down pretty quickly, which leads to a double dropkick from London and Kendrick and then a double dive outside. Kendrick misses a top rope crossbody back in the ring and MNM isolate him in their corner. London gets the hot tag and hits an inverted atomic drop into a dropsault for a 2 count. Mercury dumps London out of the ring and he's attacked by William Regal and Dave Taylor behind the referee's back. They throw him back in and MNM hits the Snapshot for the victory. The match was solid for what it was.

Match Rating: **

They show highlights from Survivor Series and that it will be Undertaker vs. MVP tonight. 

Mr. Kennedy is backstage with MVP and they argue about Survivor Series. MVP says that they probably could have helped each other out with their upcoming matches. 

Triple Threat Match For The World Heavyweight Championship
King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Batista

Batista gets the hot start and he's shaking the ropes as we go into a commercial break. During the break, Batista drove Finlay into the ring, but then got hit with a kick from Booker. When we come back, Finlay hits an elbow on Batista who is draped over the mat. Finlay hits a DDT, but Batista is able to kick out. Booker finally gets back involved by hitting Batista in the back of the head with a scissor kick, but again the champ kicks out. Booker and Finlay eventually start working together. In a weird spot, Finlay goes for the shillelagh and Michael Cole tries to make it look like it would be a disqualification, but there are none. Out comes Hornswoggle and that provides a distraction for Finlay to hit both opponents with it, but Batista is still able to kick out. Again, there are no disqualifications. Batista fights back and hits a spinebuster on Booker. He hits Finlay with a Spear and then the Batista Bomb for the victory. That was kind of an abrupt finish. Obviously Finlay was going to eat the pinfall here, so at least that made sense. The action was pretty good here for a TV match that was thrown together. I'm not sure why it wasn't the main event, but they were given a good amount of time. 

Match Rating: ***

Booker and Finlay are arguing backstage with Teddy Long. Teddy says that they'll have their chance to get their hands on Batista, but in a tag team match. At Armageddon, it will be Finlay and King Booker against Batista and a partner of his choosing. 

They show the highlight of Vickie Guerrero getting accidentally hit by Chris Benoit. We go to Chavo and Vickie, who is in a neck brace. It would have made a lot more sense if it actually looked anything like there was any chance it could have been done on purpose. 

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Well, I guess we're watching this one again. After an early commercial, Benoit hits Chavo with a knee to the gut. Chavo is able to pull Benoit into the corner, but it doesn't look like he hit the pole. Chavo follows up with a suplex onto the top rope. Chavo works Benoit over for a little bit until Benoit hits him with a superplex. Chavo goes for the Three Amigos, but Benoit blocks it and hits two of his own. On the third attempt, Chavo pushes Benoit towards Vickie, but this time he stops. Chavo rolls him up and that's all. So this is the second non-title match tonight where the champion lost. The crowd isn't buying this feud and neither am I 17 years later. The match was fine.

Match Rating: *3/4

They show Batista backstage on the phone possibly with his potential partner.

Layla vs. Kristal

Layla hits a series of clotheslines and Kristal rolls out of the ring to regroup. She comes in and hits some awkward offense. I'm sure they are both to blame, but Kristal is the one not looking crisp here. It doesn't help that your opponent has limited training as well.  Kristal snaps her back and throws her to the mat and that's all? This was really, really bad. Layla would go on to improve at least a little. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

Batista tells Teddy that his partner at Armageddon will be John Cena. 

MVP vs. Undertaker

MVP tries to hit Taker with some right hands, but they have no effect and next thing you know, Taker hits him with Old School. Taker hits a leaping clothesline and then unties the top turnbuckle. MVP is able to fight his way out of getting thrown into it, but runs into a big boot instead. Taker hits Snake Eyes and is dominating MVP like he's Luther Reigns or one of the other no name duds they threw his way. Taker goes out and grabs a chair, but MVP ducks it. Out comes Mr. Kennedy and he tries to throw MVP in the ring. MVP turns it around and throws Kennedy in. Kane's music hits and he's out to get MVP. The distraction allows Taker to grab him in the ring and now all four are in the ring. They hit double boots, but when they go for chokeslams, Kennedy and MVP get out of there. So I guess we have no finish here and more of Kane, which is never a good thing. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

The first hour of the show was quite good, but the last 30 minutes or so were terrible. Taker had no interest in making MVP look like any kind of a threat and the women's match was possibly the worst worked match of 2006. Armageddon isn't looking like a strong show after a bad Survivor Series and (spoiler alert) ever worse December To Dismember. 

Overall Rating: 50%

ECW 11-28-06 Review

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
HSBC Arena
Buffalo, New York

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Paul Heyman is in the ring to hype up the Extreme Elimination Chamber. He talks about the weapons that will be in the match and has his goons demonstrate what you can do with it. The highlighted weapon is a barbed wire baseball bat. 

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

I wonder how many times these guys have wrestled each other? RVD dominates the opening part. Sabu goes for a top rope hurricanrana, but RVD is able to hold on and Sabu spills to the mat. Sabu quickly recovers and goes for a springboard move, but RVD jumps and clotheslines him midair. When we come back from commercial, they tease a suplex to the mat, but Sabu is able to hang on. Sabu then goes for a sunset flip bomb, but RVD holds on and then RVD hits a moonsault. RVD hits a German suplex into a bridge for a 2 count. RVD hits a Rolling Thunder and again Sabu kicks out. RVD hits the 5 Star Frog Splash and that's all. I'm surprised they didn't just go for the double countout, but I guess it doesn't really matter. The match had some good action, but the psychology wasn't the best here. Sabu's magical recovery speed was a little out of control. 

Match Rating: **3/4

Hardys vs. Elijah Burke & Sylvester Terkay

This one doesn't make much sense to me, but I guess we'll see how it goes. After a hot Hardy start, Terkay kicks Jeff in the back as he's running the ropes and it allows for them to shift the momentum. Terkay hits a powerslam, but then Terkay runs into the ring post. In comes Matt and he hits a Side Effect on Elijah. Matt hits some clotheslines in the corner on Terkay and they dump Elijah out of the ring. The Hardys hit Poetry In Motion, Matt hits a Twist Of Fate and Jeff hits the Sawnton on Terkay for the victory. I'm surprised they pinned Terkay. Out comes MNM and they attack the Hardys. This match was actually a very spirited little tag match. I continue to like Terkay more than I ever remember. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We get highlights of the December To Dismember press conference. 

CM Punk vs. Test

Test levels Punk with a clothesline before dumping him out of the ring. Punk's able to send Test into the ring post and hits a springboard clothesline back in the ring. Punk  dive to the outside and then sends Test into the steel steps. Punk then jumps Test and starts brawling in the crowd, causing a double countout. If they were going to give us that finish, they should have had Test cheat in the match to give us the logic as to why Punk wouldn't care about winning. 

Match Rating: *

They show MNM gloating backstage after their attack of the Hardys. December To Dismember is just a few days away and we have two matches announced. 

Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

If they couldn't come up with a finish for CM Punk and Test, you better believe we aren't getting anything here. Lashley tries to get off to a quick start, but he's greeted with a clothesline. Test comes in and helps Big Show to cause the DQ finish. There was no way they wouldn't have advertised it more if this was a legit main event. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

The attack continues and Big Show hits him with a running shot to the head. Big Show covers him and Heyman counts to 3. 

This episode ended up being fairly good. The Hardy match was spirited and the RVD/Sabu was a solid match. It just makes no sense how they couldn't even come up with a card for December To Dismember less than a week ago. I guess if I created a card that bad, I might hide it also. 

Overall Rating: 58%

Monday Night Raw 11-27-06 Review

Monday, November 27th, 2006
Mellon Arena
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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We start off with Ric Flair in the ring and he talks about being beat down by the Spirit Squad after his victory last night. He wants all of them to come out here because he has partners to take them on tonight. They come out and do a terrible cheer before heading down to the ring. They surround the ring and then DX's music hits. 

Handicap Match
Spirit Squad vs. Ric Flair, Triple H & Shawn Michaels

Triple H tells us that this will be the last time we see the Spirit Squad. We get a lot of brawling and head into a commercial break after a Michaels dive. When we come back, the Spirit Squad have Michaels on the wrong side of town. Mikey gets up on Kenny's back, who is standing on the second rope, and they go for a flapjack that misses. Triple H gets the hot tag and he cleans house. He tags in Flair and then hits a Pedigree and Michaels hits a Sweet Chin Music. They slap on a triple Figure Four and they all tap for the easy victory. This was a little longer than my description, but it was exactly what you would think it was. 

Match Rating: *3/4

They show some Hardy footage from when they would backyard wrestling ahead of their match with Rated RKO tonight. 

We go backstage and they show DX shoving one of the Spirit Squad members in a crate and locking it. They put a sticker on it that says OVW Louisville, KY. The guy has a OPS shirt on, which Shawn Michaels says was a lot cheaper than the other guys. Michaels signs it as Mr. McMahon. 

JR and Lawler remind us that this weekend is December To Dismember. Ugh. The Hardys have issued an open challenge to Johnny Nitro and we go backstage to them and they show that Joey Mercury is back for a MNM reunion. They accept the challenge for one night only. 

#1 Contender For The WWE Women's Championship Battle Royal

Mickie James joins the announce team before the match. The competitors are Melina, Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson, Victoria and Maria. Victoria and Maria work together for a second until Victoria clotheslines her and then dumps her over the top. Torrie is dumped next with Maria knocked out shortly after. We have Victoria and Candice left. Candice dumps her on the apron, but Victoria is able to battle her way back in. Victoria throws her through the ropes and that's all. At least it was short. Victoria throws Candice back in the ring and hits the Widow's Peak for emphasis. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They show the Hardy's debut as a team against Kaentai on Sunday Night Heat.

Eugene vs. Jim Duggan

I can't believe they are blowing off the hottest feud of 2006 on Raw. Duggan goes right after Eugene and hits a big slap to the face. Duggan goes for the finisher, but Eugene rolls out of the ring. Eugene is able to snap Duggan's neck on the top rope and then rams Duggan into the ring post. Eugene hits a swinging neckbreaker and that's all she wrote. Eugene grabs the mic and asks us to not make fun of him. He tells us that he is special and yeah, there's a reason this never went anywhere. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

DX runs into Dusty Rhodes and Arn Anderson. DX tells them about the party they are throwing tonight that includes chips, dip and possibly a karaoke machine. Triple H comes back and says he's got two words for them: booze and broads. That leads to Ron Simmons doing what he does.

On This Week In Wrestling History for Stephanie McMahon and Test's wedding. 

Edge is here for the Cutting Edge and makes fun of DX for beating up the Spirit Squad. He says it's almost as bad as how much he's beat up the Hardy's over the years. Randy Orton then comes out and says he has his guest here, but he wants Edge to come over and confirm it. Edge says that it's it and they drag out a bloodied Ric Flair. Edge says that this is the part where DX is supposed to come out and make the save, but they won't because they only care about themselves. Edge starts begging DX to come out and then hits him with a one man con-chair-to. Orton then takes his turn and there's still no DX save. 

Jerry Lawler vs. Chris Masters

Now the second hottest feud is being blown off on Raw? I know that I kid, but it is nice to see that there has been a storyline to everything tonight. Masters throws Lawler from corner to corner, but Lawler avoids a charge. Masters puts Lawler up in the greatest move of all time, the bear hug. Lawler bites his way out and hits a dropkick. Lawler hits a trio of second rope fists. Masters fights back and hits a snap suplex. Masters tries the second rope fist, but Lawler rolls out of the way and hits some right hands to knock Masters down. Masters rakes the eyes and slaps on the Master Lock. Carlito's music hits and he's on his way down to the ring. Masters then breaks the hold to turn his attention to Carlito. Carlito spits the apple in his face, Lawler rolls him up and picks up the victory. I'm not sure why they felt they needed to put Carlito with Masters again. The crowd wasn't into it until the finish.

Match Rating: 1/2*

They show the Hardy's match with Edge and Christian that put all four of them on the map from No Mercy 1999. 

Umaga is on his way down to the ring. Armando Alejandro Estrada says that Umaga was the only man at Survivor Series who was unstoppable. They show Umaga attacking his opponents with a TV monitor. Estrada says that no one has been able to present a challenge and now it's time for him to become WWE Champion. Out comes John Cena and we have a staredown. He grabs a mic and says he accepts Umaga's challenge. Estrada says not now and that's all. The crowd was into it, probably because it's not the usual suspects. 

We now get a spoof of the racist rant that Michael Richards did around this time with Cryme Tyme attacking him and taking his wallet. I'm not really sure why they felt the need to do this. Keep in mind, it was just a year before this that Vince said what he said at Survivor Series 2005. 

They show Edge talking to Jeff Hardy backstage. Jeff fires back and now their partners are here. 

World Tag Team Championship Match
Rated RKO vs. Hardys

So they were announced as Team Extreme last night at Survivor Series, but the Hardys tonight. This is a very worthy main event, even if this should have been something that there was more hype for. Edge and Orton dominate Jeff the opening minutes of the match until he's able to hit a double DDT and tag in Matt. He hits the bulldog/clothesline combo, which Lawler says he has never seen before. If you needed proof that Lawler didn't watch SmackDown for some reason, there's that. They both go up top, but Jeff is shoved to the floor and Orton goes up to meet Matt. Matt shoves him down, but then misses the moonsault. Edge is setting up for the Spear and then we get a weird commercial break. When we come back, Orton has Matt in a rest hold. Matt finally is able to battle back and hits a moonsault on Edge for a 2 count. Jeff gets the hot tag and hits a Whisper In The Wind on Orton for a nearfall. We get some double teams and some close calls that the crowd is fully invested in. Jeff misses with the leap off the back of Matt's back, but he can't hit the RKO. Jeff hits the Swanton but before the referee's hand hits the mat for 3, Edge comes in and hits Jeff in the back with the belt. The ref calls for the bell and the Hardys win by disqualification. Orton hits a RKO on Matt onto a title belt before posing for the crowd. The match itself was pretty good, although most of that was because of the hot finish. 

Match Rating: **1/2

This wasn't an all timer or anything, but this was definitely better than the typical Raw at this time. Just about everything meant something and a lot of stories were furthered. Sadly, it was a lot more entertaining than the show they made you drop 30 bucks on the night before. 

Overall Rating: 66%