Original Airdate: Thursday, January 27th, 2005
Alltell Arena
Little Rock, Arkansas
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We get a recap of the ridiculous build for the Kurt Angle/Big Show/JBL feud, mostly from last week. Now we are backstage with Kurt Angle, JBL and all of their jobber friends. Thank god they started their conversation after the highlight package or we wouldn't have had the pleasure of hearing this conversation. Kurt Angle tells Orlando Jordan, Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak that they are going to take on Booker T, Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio and they laugh as if they are in a meeting with Dr. Evil.
Eddie Guerrero, Booker T & Rey Mysterio vs. Orlando Jordan, Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak
The faces all come out to huge pops. Jindrak and Booker start it off. Booker nails a clothesline and we get some quick tags to Eddie and Rey. There is no doubt that the most valuable performers in the month of January 2005 were Eddie and Rey. The faces start off hot, but the heels take over once they knock the faces out of the ring and Jindrak throws Mysterio on top of Eddie. Back from commercial and Jordan has Booker in a headlock. Booker hits a Book End and hits the tag to Rey, who hits a nice springboard moonsault on Jordan. Mysterio goes for a bronco buster, but Jindrak pulled Jordan out of hte way and Mysterio is now in trouble. Rey is so good because he can make these bland heels look interesting thanks to his selling. Eddie sneaks into the ring and pokes Jindrak in the eye, who then sells it 3 seconds after the fact. The heels are still able to keep Mysterio cornered and continue with their rest holds. Cole says Reigns is a dark horse in the Rumble match. Whatever you say, Cole. Mysterio does a fun spot where he is doing everything to avoid all three heels, by crawling and jumping over them and then gets the tag to Eddie. The three faces are all in the ring and Eddie holds Jindrak on the ropes for the 619 and Booker hits a scissor kick. Frog splash by Eddie on Jindrak and they get the victory. Eddie and Rey could do no wrong here and everyone else played their roles well enough for a fun opener.
Match Rating: *** (out of 5)
After the match, Reigns shoves Jordan to the mat and in come the Bashams. Out comes Angle and he slaps Danny Basham. JBL is now coming out and they go to commercial in an odd spot. JBL is on the mic tells Angle to have his boys under control. JBL reminds us of his lame stable and Angle makes a few lame jabs at JBL. JBL insults Arkansas and then rips Bill Clinton. Out comes Teddy Long, playa. He announces that the main event will be Angle vs. JBL in a Last Man Standing Match.
We get the same Steve Austin package that they hyped on Raw regarding his movie deal.
It's time for the recap of the epic rivalry of Heidenreich and Undertaker. I know I say it a lot, but it can't be understated how good these packages were during this era.
United States Championship Match
John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki
Cena attacks Suzuki and destroys him with a series of punches and kicks. Cena rams Suzuki into the ring post. Suzuki wasn't good, but he has looked like a total goof here in January. Cena then shoves Suzuki into the announcers table for good measure. Cena then steals Rock's gimmick and puts on the announcers mic and does some commentary. Suzuki finally fights back and hits Cena with some stiff chops. It doesn't last long, as Cena fights back with some slaps to the chest followed by a shoulder tackle and spinning side suplex. Cena goes for a Five Knuckle Shuffle and in between pulls up Charles Robinson's collar, just in case Suzuki wasn't buried enough during this feud. FU finishes the squash.
Match Rating: *1/4
After the match, Cole steps into the ring to interview Cena. There is no question as to how over Cena was here. Cena sends a message to anybody in the Rumble that he is going to main event WrestleMania.
Eddie and Rey are backstage laughing at something and Booker wants to know what they're laughing about. Booker says that last week Eddie cost them the gold. Eddie admits he screwed up, but to think about the Royal Rumble Sunday. He says that he is going to main event WrestleMania and Rey and Booker laugh at him.
Heidenreich is in the ring and tells everyone to shut up. He is going to read us another poem. I can't believe this guy didn't get over. He starts to read it, but then heads towards a fan with a Heidenreich in a casket sign and destroys it. He is literally foaming from the mouth as he finishes his poem.
Angle is knocking on Long's office door furiously. Long won't let him in his office, but talks to him in the hallway. Angle tries to get out of his match, but Long says it is still on.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match
Funaki vs. Spike Dudley vs. Shannon Moore vs. Paul London
Spike attacks Funaki right away and it's already chaos. This is going to be impossible to keep up with, especially since it's destined to only be 3 minutes long. Paul London absolutely drills Spike with a knee to the chin for a 2 count. London misses a kick and Spike puts him in a half crab. Moore and Funaki break it up. Funaki flips London over the top rope. Funaki gets a nearfall on Spike, but Moore breaks it up. London and Moore are up top and London knocks him to the outside and hits the 450 splash on Spike for the pinfall. London was always fun to watch and this victory leads to him having one of my favorite eliminations in the history of the Rumble. Way too short, but a good, energetic sprint.
Match Rating: **1/2
JBL is with Amy Weber and runs into Carlito, but blows him of. He tries to get into Long's dressing room, but it's locked. Long comes out again, not letting JBL in because there is someone in there right now. JBL complains and Long closes the door on him. Carlito says that's typical. He also says that he doesn't treat him like a champion and has JBL sign his petition.
A bunch of the women are in the back including Michelle McCool and Dawn Marie when Amy walks in. She urges them to sign Carlito's petition. She talks some trash about Joy, which naturally leads to her being right behind her. Joy says the only one who needs an image consultant is Amy and then she tosses her smoothie all over her.
Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross are on to talk about the Royal Rumble and run down the matches.
Last Man Standing Match
JBL vs. Kurt Angle
The match started during the commercial break, which I hate. After Angle works on the shoulder and arm, JBL gains control. JBL is up top and nails a superplex on Angle. Angle gets up at 9. Angle is able to trip up JBL and gets him in the Ankle Lock and JBL is tapping. The Bashams then pull Angle's leg and now everyone outside is getting involved. Brian Hebner throws all of them out, which is interesting since there are no DQs. What would be the consequences if they didn't go back? Another commercial break and now JBL is throwing Angle into the steps. Cole touts that there are no more commercials left. JBL throws Angle across the announcer table and then into the barricade. JBL rips the sign from the red hat guy and throws it on the ground. JBL is going for a powerbomb, but Angle counters with a back body drop and now the straps are down. JBL countered the Angle Slam and slammed him right into the steps. Angle is then slammed into the steel post. Angle is down for 9 and barely gets up. This heel vs. heel match is able to work because of the respect everyone has for Angle and the fact that everyone hates JBL. Angle hits not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7, but 8 German suplexes. Angle is just an absolute animal. I really wish WWE would have been able to get a few more years out of him rather than him go to TNA. JBL gets up at 9 and immediately jumps on JBL's back for a rear naked choke. JBL is able to get up at 8 and then pushes Angle down and both men are out. JBL then hits a powerbomb and Hebner is counting. Angle is up and JBL tries going for the big boot, but Angle ducks and hits the Angle Slam. Angle tries going for another German suplex, but JBL holds on to the ropes and then is able to hit a Clothesline from Hell. Both men are down, but at JBL is up at 8 and Angle just barely gets up before 10. JBL then goes and grabs a chair, but misses and Angle hits another German suplex. Angle has the chair, but JBL puts the boot up and hits him in the face, which leads to Angle hitting JBL with the chair as well. Both men are down again and they are both counted out for a no decision, which the crowd naturally hates.
Match Rating: ***1/4
Theodore Long thanks someone for giving him the idea for the match and obviously it is Big Show. Big Show then addresses them and mocks what they said last week.
That was a really enjoyable watch. Some of the storylines are ridiculous, but the in ring action was fun and this episode was much lighter on the drama than the few previous episodes. None of the matches were incredible, but they all did what they were supposed to do. I'm really looking forward to re-watching the Royal Rumble here next.
Overall Rating: 73%
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