Thursday, April 25, 2019

No Way Out 2005 Review

Sunday, February 20th, 2005
Mellon Arena
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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We get a very brief video hyping up the barbed wire steel cage match, which is fitting since they hardly built it on SmackDown the past few weeks. The announcers emphasize that Batista will be in attendance tonight.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Rey Mysterio & Eddie Guerrero vs. The Basham Brothers
After a nice pop for Eddie and Rey, the crowd goes dead for the Bashams entrance. If you can't get a reaction in the opening match of a pay-per-view, you're doing something wrong. Eddie and Rey get in a short flurry of offense before the Bashams start their heat segment. Eddie rolls out of the way of a top rope elbow and tags in Mysterio. Springboard crossbody gets a 2 count. The Bashams regain control after Danny Basham cheats by switching with his brother. Doug goes for a superplex, but Rey blocks it and hits a moonsault that almost gets the victory. Eddie get in trouble for tying two tag ropes together, which is classic Eddie. Rey leaps and rolls all over the ring and is able to get the tag to Eddie who hits a headscissor/arm drag combo. The Bashams hit one of the sloppier double chokeslams you will see. They go for a double suplex, but Rey clips one of their legs and Eddie rolls into a small package for a 2 count. Eddie grabs one of the tag belts, but Rey tells him not to. Eddie goes up top and rolls through as he saw Basham was moving. Eddie then pretends to lay there as if he was hurt and rolls him into a 2 count. Danny tosses the belt to Edddie who tosses it to Doug, which causes the ref to get rid of it. Eddie gets the other belt and nails him with it and gets the victory to a good pop. The first few minutes were pretty paint by the numbers, but the last 5 minutes were golden.

Match Rating: *** (out of 5)

Teddy Long shows off his horrible acting ability backstage. He tells someone to get Batista whatever he wants. Carlito then introduces him to one of the members of the board of directors. Not sure where they got this lady, but she is awful. Carlito says the board of directors is waiting to see what happens with Batista before making their decision.

It is now time for the first round of the rookie diva contest. Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson are on their way to the ring. Out first is Joy Giovanni and I guess this is the evening gown part of the contest. Rochelle Loewen is next. I have 0 recollection of her. Lauren Jones is up next. I vaguely remember her. Michelle McCool is the last contestant. This is thrilling TV.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T
Before the match, Heidenreich reads us a poem. Someone in 2005 thought this was a match people would actually feel good about paying to watch. Heidenreich looks really stiff here. Booker ducks a clothesline and hits a kick to the jaw. Heidenreich somehow bounces back and hits a powerslam and a running clothesline. Booker then gets his shoulder rammed into the ring post. Spinebuster by Booker and both men are slow to get up. Booker sort of hits a kick and now it's Spinaroonie time. Booker sidesteps Heidenreich and he is over the top rope to the floor. Heidenreich grabs a chair and slams it into Booker's throat and that's all for that one. Heidenreich rolls Booker in and is trying to pin him. Get it? Because he's crazy. That was such a useless match that did nothing for either guy. There's no way they couldn't have saved that for TV.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Rey and Eddie are in the back celebrating and here comes John Cena. Eddie asks for a moment alone with John.. Eddie then gives a speech about how big the opportunity to main event WrestleMania is. Eddie tells him to make sure to not tap.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Cruiserweight Open
Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Spike Dudley vs. Akio vs. Funaki
This is basically a gauntlet match where the other competitors are at ringside rather than in the back. London and Funaki are the first two. You can already tell how short this match is going to be. Funaki was in control, but Spike hit Funaki with a knee in the back, causing him to get rolled up and eliminated. Spike is next and Funaki interferes and London gets the victory. Moore is next and he goes for some quick pins, but no dice. Moore throws London into the turnbuckle face first a couple times, but then misses a corkscrew off the top. 450 splash by London and Moore is gone. Here comes Akio. Swinging neckbreaker off the top rope in a nice spot and both men are down. Akio is not able to get to his feet and is counted out, which leaves Chavo and London. Chavo goes immediately for a pin, but London kicks out. Post-Los Guerreros Chavo always seemed pretty lost in the shuffle. He had an ok run as ECW Champion, but the rest of the time it was mostly stuff like this. Full Nelson suplex into a bridge almost gets London the victory. London rolls up Chavo, but it gets reversed and Chavo grabs the ropes and steals the victory. That was just a match that wasn't able to really showcase anyone due to the structure of the match. I guess if anything it showed that they somewhat care about Paul London.

Match Rating: *1/2

They show Big Show in the back just thinking, as they try to hype the barbed wire cage match There are 3 ways to win the match; pinfall, submission, escaping the cage.

The second round of the rookie diva contest is starting. This is the talent portion of the contest. Dawn Marie is so bad. Joy's talent is giving massages and offers one up to Torrie. She gives a pretty horrible excuse for a massage full of innuendo. Rochelle's up with "jokes" and asks a lame joke and then is told to stop. Lauren does a dance, which looks like a lame jazzercise routine. Michelle body slams Dawn for her talent. Can you imagine something like this now?

JBL is back with Josh Matthews. He rambles on about nothing and basically reassures that he is a wrestling god.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker
Reigns couldn't have come out to less of a reaction if the arena was empty. Mark Jindrak wants to be part of this match, which leads to Brian Hebner ejecting him. Undertaker comes out striking right away. Taker ducks for a back body drop, but Reigns sees it coming. Big boot by Taker gets him a 2 count. Reigns exposes the turnbuckle. Reigns goes to hit Taker's head into the corner, but the attempt is blocked. This match was not a good choice to watch when you are dead tired. Taker hits a nice legdrop to Reigns who was dragged over the apron. Reigns hits Taker with a low blow behind the refs back. This match, no joke has put me to sleep 3 times already. Taker hits the Tombstone and of course Taker wins this pointless match.

Match Rating: 1/2*

This is the final round of the rookie diva contest, which of course is the bathing suit round. They go to a weird close up of Joy when Rochelle was out there. Not sure what went on there. Joy wins the voting with a whopping 65%. What an honor.

#1 Contender Tournament Finals
John Cena vs. Kurt Angle
Although he's had a few big matches to date, this was definitely his most important to date. Michael Cole keeps saying pound and ground instead of ground and pound. It's driving me nuts. Cena shows some fire early on, but Angle eventually took back control and hit a German suplex into the turnbuckle. Cena tries to fight back, but Angle counters and hits the 3 Germans. Cena hits a shoulder tackle and a spinebuster, but can only get a 2 count. The crowd seems a little hesitant with it being in Angle's hometown. Later in the year, the booing would begin. Angle rolls through and gets Cena into the Ankle Lock, but Cena throws Angle through the ropes. Cena goes up top and hits a leg drop onto Angle as he is walking into the ring. Cena hits the FU, but Angle kicks out. I don't think many people had kicked out of that move prior to this one. Angle then takes out Cena by the leg and is now focusing all of his attention on that. I'm not sure any wrestler that I can remember is better than Angle than focusing on a body part. Angle puts Cena in the Ankle Lock again and gets the rope, but Angle pulls him off and back into the center of the ring. Cena fights back and gets the rope with two hands this time and Angle has to break the hold. Angle puts him back in it again, even though Cena has the ropes still. The ref tries to get Angle off of him and then Charles Robinson gets knocked out. The crowd starts chanting "HBK", but thankfully they did not have him come down. Cena hits the FU and gets the victory. There wasn't much doubt regarding the outcome, but both guys did a good job of making it feel like it could go either way. Cena looked really good here and it was obvious he was ready to get the opportunity. Good match.

Match Rating: ***3/4

They show backstage and Batista is still not there.

WWE Championship Match
Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match
JBL vs. Big Show
JBL has the early advantage and he keeps trying to climb and see if there is an opening somewhere, which seems pretty stupid. JBL throws Big Show's head off the beam and Show has been busted open. JBL removes one of the turnbuckles and then chokes Big Show with one of the tag ropes. Show is able to turn the tide after a kick and is now trying to bust JBL open. Orlando Jordan is now climbing the cage while the Bashams are trying to cut open the cage. Out comes Teddy Long and he tells them to head to the back. However, OJ left the bolt cutters in the ring and JBL uses them and only gets a 2 count. Both men are bleeding badly, but it still doesn't feel like that physical of a match with all things considered. Throw in the fact that there isn't one person in the arena who actually thinks Big Show will win this match. JBL hits Show with a low blow and a boot to the face, but that only gets 2 as well. Both men are on the top rope and Show is bashing JBL into the top beam. Big Show then hits JBL with a chokeslam from the top rope and JBL goes through the ring. Big Show is kind of left with only one option to win and that is to leave the ring. Big Show decides to try and bust out of the locked door. He breaks the chain and is on his way out and begins celebrating before he steps foot on the floor. The bell rings and they announce JBL as the winner. They then cut to JBL on the floor. Clever finish, but just an meh match. They tried to make it feel like a classic old school brawl, but it was just too slow and didn't have the heat. They show the replay of JBL crawling out of the ring. The Bashams and OJ are taking out Big Show and out comes Batista. He takes care of the Cabinet and out comes Cena to take care of JBL.

Match Rating: **

Well, at least it had a hot ending because otherwise this was definitely not a good show. There was way too much filler and unfortunately Angle and Cena's really good match was not enough to save it. The diva stuff was insulting to everyone's intelligence and too many of the matches felt like filler. Not every pay-per-view is going to be a classic, and that's fine. But if you are going to run this many shows, you have to be able to produce a better product than what we got here. Thankfully, the majority of 2005 was pretty solid.

Overall Rating: 39%

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