Thursday, August 27, 2020

Off The Grid, Volume 3: SummerSlam 1990 Review

Monday, August 27th, 1990
The Spectrum
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

Off The Grid, Volume 3:

So this is the 30th anniversary of me becoming a wrestling fan. I was coming home from renting a video game from the video store and my neighbors were outside. I told them that I had rented a game, so they invited me over to spend the night to watch SummerSlam. Knowing nothing about pro wrestling whatsoever (I had never even heard of Hulk Hogan), I assumed it was some sort of basketball event and accepted the invitation. I honestly think we missed a lot of the beginning, as the first memory I have of the event is the Demolition/Hart Foundation match. As soon as I saw that match, I was hooked. It was also this night that I started my 30 years of disliking Hulk Hogan. I took part in way too many arguments at the lunch table over this topic. With all of that being said, let's get to the show. 

Power & Glory vs. The Rockers

Hercules attacks Shawn Michaels with his chain before the match starts, which allows Michaels to sell his legit injury. The other three men get in the ring and Marty Jannetty is able to outsmart his opponents. Marty is able to get a small package, but Slick has the ref distracted long enough and then Hercules breaks it up. Marty dumps Hercules over the top rope in a unique fashion, but Paul Roma is right there to attack. Marty goes for a sunset flip, but Roma wisely tags in Hercules, who is able to maintain their momentum. Meanwhile, Michaels is trying to crawl back into the ring and every time he gets close, Power & Glory is there to stop him. Marty hits a powerslam on Roma and a superkick on Hercules. Marty goes up top and hits a flying fist. Roma is able to drag Marty near the ropes and Hercules clocks him with a right hand. Hercules then hits a huge clothesline. Hercules hits the superplex and Roma hits the elbow drop for the victory. After the match, Power & Glory continue to pound on both Rockers, as they bring out the stretcher for Michaels. Being that we are in Philly, Power & Glory get a pretty nice ovation for their win. As far as six minute matches go where one of the tag team partners is hurt, this is probably the best one.

Match Rating: ***1/4 (out of 5)

Mr. Perfect and Bobby Heenan are with Sean Mooney. They remind us that he is absolutely Perfect.

Texas Tornado is with Mean Gene and he gives us a Tornado themed promo. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Tornado shows off his strength early on by tossing Perfect across the ring. Perfect is, of course, a bumping machine. Tornado hits a hip toss, body slam and then clotheslines Perfect out of the ring. Perfect starts making his comeback and puts Tornado in a sleeper hold. Perfect starts chopping him and then gets a little cocky, which allows Tornado to put him in the claw and then hits the discus punch for the victory pretty much out of nowhere. Perfect had the brilliant sell on the finish there. After the match Heenan and Perfect show their dissatisfaction for the ending. We are two for two on short matches tonight, which will be a theme.

Match Rating: **

Mean Gene is reporting on Sapphire when Perfect and Heenan storm in and talk about the awful officiating. This is absolutely brilliant here. 

Sensational Queen Sherri vs. Sapphire

Sherri is sporting a unique mask here for her big non-match. Sapphire's music hits an she is nowhere to be found. Sherri is awarded the match via forfeit. 

We now go to Mean Gene, who is with Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says that he can't find her anywhere and he's worried big time. Dusty asks Hacksaw, since he randomly walks in. Oscar-worthy performances here. 

The Warlord vs. Tito Santana

What's up with Slick's wrestlers not having entrance music? Tito reminds us all that he is one of the best in the company still here, hitting a nice dropkick. Tito tries to work on Warlord's arm, as Vince admires them on commentary. Tito brings the fight with a modified Thesz Press, but Warlord throws him out of the ring on the pin attempt. Warlord then runs Tito into the ring post while Slick has the referee distracted. I forgot how much that the Warlord loves his classic club to the back move. Tito tries to make his comeback and hits a clothesline. Tito then hits the flying forearm, but Warlord gets his foot on the rope just before the 3 count. Warlord gets back up and hits the running powerslam, which gets a pop from a bigger pocket of fans than you would expect. Tito had his working boots on tonight, but Warlord looked like someone having his first televised match. 

Match Rating: *

Sean Mooney is now back with all three members of Demolition. They play up the mystery of which two members of Demolition are going to be involved in the match, even though Smash and Crush are the ones holding the titles.

Mean Gene is with Hart Foundation. Bret was expecting Ax and Smash, while Neidhart lets us know that he isn't paid to think. Vince absolutely loves the "two Harts beating as one" line. 

Two-Out-Of-Three-Falls Match For The WWF Tag Team Championships
Demolition vs. Hart Foundation

So this is my absolute first memory of ever watching wrestling. Not a bad way to start. Smash and Bret start things off, but all four members get involved quickly. Bret gets a quick roll up in and tags in Anvil. They begin working on the arm of Smash in a way that we don't see anymore. Smash is able to hit a body slam on Bret and tags in Crush. He misses with a knee, but catches Bret on a crossbody attempt and hits a body slam. Bret gets his feet up on a charging Crush and both men make a tag. Crush gets his boot up when Neidhart is running the ropes behind the referee's back. Neidhart explodes with a clothesline and makes the tag to Bret. Bret takes care of both opponents and then throws Smash into Crush. Bret gets a nearfall on Smash that nearly the entire arena buys. Crush breaks up another pin attempt after an elbow drop. Neidhart is still on the outside and Demolition hits Decapitation on Bret for the first fall. After a short break, Demolition continues to hammer away on Bret. Bret finally hits his leaping clothesline, but he's on the other side of the ring. Smash grabs him by his leg and then has Crush drag him back by his leg. Earl Hebner isn't having it and then Bret is able to tag in Neidhart. Neidhart hits a big powerslam for a nearfall and he has Piper screaming for poor officiating. They hit the Hart Attack on Smash, but Crush stops Hebner from counting 3. Hebner gives the Hart Foundation the fall as a result of a disqualification. Crush knocks Bret off the apron and we see Ax run down to the ring and hide under the ring. Neidhart finally gets Bret up and going and he actually immediately is on offense. We get kind of a weird spot that ends well with Neidhart body slamming Hart on top of Smash. Ax rolls from under the ring and the referee somehow doesn't notice that he looks nothing like Smash. Vince gave this away earlier by saying Crush was the one that was easy to distinguish and that Ax and Smash look the same. I would think a guy who referee's for the company on a nightly basis would be able to tell the difference. Crush hits a backbreaker and has his pin attempt broken up. The match has completely fallen apart and Smash helps double team Bret outside the ring. Out come the Legion of Doom and they get involved. On the distraction, Neidhart launches himself at Crush and Bret trips him up into a pin and they score the third fall to become new WWF Tag Team Champions. That finish was spectacular. There were a few awkward spots in this match, as it was clear that Crush was not ready for a spot like this. However, the crowd loved every second of it and the action was constant.

Match Rating: ***1/2

WrestleMania VII will be at the Los Angeles Coliseum. Honest, it will!

Mean Gene is here with the Legion of Doom. They want Demolition and they're sick of them ignoring them. They cut a fun promo and then congratulate the Hart Foundation as they walk in. Bret says that they'll take on anyone. 

Mooney is outside the door of Demolition's locker room. He reports that they are yelling about Legion of Doom and not Hart Foundation. 

Sherri is now with Mean Gene, who is gloating about her victory. Sherri is completely unhinged here. There really is a lack of personalities like her in the present day.

After intermission, Mean Gene reminds us that we still have a lot of action ahead of us. He shows us footage of the Harlem sewer rat and Damian. Now we have Big Boss Man and he will make sure that justice prevails. 

Mooney is with the legendary tag team of Jim Duggan and Nikolai Volkoff. Volkoff couldn't contain himself as he waited to say that they were the "American Express". 

Earthquake, Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart now have their turn. Earthquake cuts a really solid promo recapping everything for us. 

We now hop over to Jake Roberts, who slows things down and Damien is not cooperating at all here. 

Bad News Brown vs. Jake The Snake Roberts

Big Boss Man is the referee here, but Bad News attacks Jake before he gets in the ring. Jake ducks Brown and almost gets the DDT in, But Brown slips away. Bad New hits a hip toss and goes for the Ghetto Blaster, but Jake falls down before he can. Bad News doesn't like Boss Man's count and they get into it a little bit. Bad News goes outside and hits Jake with a chair to the midsection of Jake, but Boss Man doesn't disqualify him. Piper continues to refer to Boss Man as the Big Bosom Man in case you're wondering. Brown whips him into the corner and follows it up with a clothesline. Jake rolls out of the way of a flying fist and then hits him with a knee lift. Short arm clothesline by Jake and the crowd is chanting for the DDT. Brown back body drops him out of another DDT attempt. Brown again hits Jake with the chair and this time Boss Man says that's it. Brown grabs the bag with Damien and goes for a leg drop, but Boss Man moves it out of the way. Brown then attacks Boss Man from behind. Jake and Damien make the save and Brown retreats. Piper isn't impressed with the victory, calling it cheap. I'm not sure why you book this match if this is what you're going to deliver.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Really, WrestleMania will be at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. 100%.

Demolition is with Mean Gene complaining about cheating. 

It's time for the Brother Love Show with Sgt. Slaughter. Sgt. Slaughter presents Brother Love with a medal for being a Great American. Slaughter says that he is declaring war on Nikolai Volkoff and says that America is too chicken to declare war. He went from Nikolai Volkoff to the WWF Championship. I would say that is quite the step up. I remember this being the part of the sleepover where a few of the kids over fell asleep. This segment felt like 45 minutes back in 1990. Now it only felt like 44. 

The Orient Express and Mr. Fuji are with Mooney. They get interrupted by breaking news. Mean Gene thinks he has Sapphire, but the door closes in his face. 

The Orient Express vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Nikolai Volkoff

Hacksaw and Volkoff sing "God Bless America" before the match and it legit is one of the worst things you will ever hear. The Orient Express attack them, but they hit dual atomic drops and then give them the boot out of the ring. Volkoff has Tanaka up for a body slam, but then decides to hold him and back into the corner so that he can allow Sato to hit him off the top rope. Tanaka misses Volkoff with a splash and he makes the tag to Duggan. Duggan hits a double clothesline and then a a double noggin knocker. It's amazing how over Duggan is here. Duggan and Volkoff throw their opponents into each other. Duggan hits the running clothesline and gets the victory. Volkoff and Duggan had zero chemistry as a team and it's not hard to see why this didn't last long. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Mean Gene is now with Dusty Rhodes, who is knocking on the door. Dusty says there is something going down here.

Randy Savage says that there are millions of peasants waiting to catch a glimpse of him tonight. 

Dusty Rhodes vs. Macho King Randy Savage

Before the match starts, Ted DiBiase and Virgil are out. He says that everyone has a price for the Million Dollar Man and his money can buy anyone or anything. Tonight, it has bought Rhodes' humiliation and brings out his latest purchase, Sapphire. She comes out in a fur coat, diamond necklace and a WWF duffle bag full of money. Dusty goes after him, but Savage attacks him from behind in the aisle. Savage hits the double ax handle and some fists. Rhodes fires back and knocks Savage down. Dusty even pulls out a dropkick, knocking Savage out of the ring. Savage puts Sherri in front of him. This distracts the referee and allows Savage to knock Rhodes out with Sherri's purse. That's it. That's the match. They booked Savage and Rhodes and gave them 135 seconds. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Mooney tries to get a word with DiBiase. He reminds us again that there is nothing that his money can't buy. Dusty is shown running backstage, but the limo drives away just in time. 

Hulk Hogan and Big Boss Man are with Mean Gene. Hogan is dedicating the match to the Tugster tonight. Just so you know, the Hulkster never tells a lie. 

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan

We get lots of stalling to start and why not? Hogan hits him with a boot to the gut and immediately goes for a body slam, but Earthquake starts working on Hogan's back. Hogan fires back, but he can't knock him down. A big right hand finally gets him to fall down and he knocks Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart off the apron. Boss Man is now getting involved and he and Hogan hit double boots to the face right in front of Hebner and I guess we are good with this. Bravo and Earthquake hit a double body slam behind Hebner's back. Earthquake hits an elbow drop for a nearfall. Earthquake is up on the top rope and he hits him with a clubbing blow to the back. Earthquake starts stomping on Hogan's hands and then pulls out the Boston Crab. Hogan gets to the rope, but Bravo hits a body slam on him behind Hebner's back. Hogan avoids an elbow drop. He again goes for a body slam and this time he gets him up, but falls on his back. Earthquake now puts my favorite move on Hogan, the bear hug. Hogan fights his way out of it, but Earthquake catches Hogan on a crossbody and hits a beautiful powerslam. Hogan then gives one of the worst kick outs with Earthquake standing on him. Earthquake hits the finisher, but he decides to get off of Hogan. That won't backfire. Earthquake hits it again and Hogan kicks out. It's time for the Hulk Up. Where does he get it from? Hogan hits the big boot, but Earthquake is still standing. Hogan hits the body slam and follows it up with the leg drop. Dino Bravo distracts the ref and Jimmy Hart tries to attack him. Hogan throws him at Earthquake and Boss Man throws Bravo out. Hogan and Earthquake are battling on the outside. Hart tries to hit Hogan with the megaphone, but it backfires and hits Earthquake. Hogan then slams Earthquake on the blue table that was holding the sewer rats earlier and Hogan gets the countout victory. Earthquake attacks Hogan and has him up by his throat. Boss Man is hitting him with a chair, but he is no selling it. Boss Man pulls out the nightstick and Earthquake retreats. We get a close up of the welts on Earthquake's back from the chair. Minus the stupid finish, this was a fairly entertaining match by Hogan standards. Piper argues that Hogan was victorious. 

Match Rating: **

Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan are with Mooney now. Rude says that this is his type of match. Heenan reminds us that Rude has beaten Warrior before. 

Mean Gene is with Dusty Rhodes. How many more interviews can this show have? This is not one of his better ones, but he's probably still recovering from his brutal 2 minute match. 

We go to Lord Alfred Hayes talking about them setting up the big blue cage because why not?

Hulk Hogan is with Mean Gene...again. He talks about all of the buildings being made that are earthquake proof. He's going to beat Earthquake all over the world and become the #1 contender again. He then talks about buying a surfboard and he's going to chase every shark or something? 

Earthquake and crew aren't happy. He's coming for both Hogan and Boss Man. 

So after 138 interviews, Ultimate Warrior finally gets his time. What do Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan have in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong. Somehow, this made me fall in love with his character.

Steel Cage Match For The WWF Championship Match
Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Thanks to them having to edit Rude's theme here on the Network, Vince and Piper's mics are all messed up. This sucks because Rude's theme is top 10 territory for me. Warrior does everything in his power to blow himself up before the match starts. The bell rings before Warrior even gets in the ring, as they start brawling on the cage. Warrior knocks Rude down to the mat and hits a flying chop from the top rope. Warrior throws Rude into the cage a few times. Rude baits him and ducks, causing Warrior to leap into the cage. Rude starts climbing the cage. Warrior barely gets to him and then Rude hits him with a clubbing blow off the top rope. Now it's Rude's turn to start throwing Warrior into the cage. Rude is bleeding from the top of the forehead. Rude goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior powers out of it and hits a clothesline. He goes for the splash, but Rude gets his knees up. He hits the Rude Awakening. Instead of pinning him or escaping, Rude decides to jump off the top of the cage and clubs Warrior again. Rude goes up to the top of the cage again and this time Warrior is ready for it. Warrior tries to escape out the door, but Heenan slams it shut on his head. Rude gets a 2 count. The crowd doesn't seem to be buying Rude here as a threat as much as they were probably hoping to. Heenan tries to pull Rude out, but Warrior has him and the moon is out. Warrior pulls Heenan in the ring now and hits him with a big right hand. He hits an atomic drop and it sends him back out of the ring. Rude comes in and nails Warrior with a clothesline. Warrior is starting to shake the ropes and begins no selling. Warrior hits three running clotheslines. Piper is too distracted by asking what it means when Warrior pumps his arms. He hits the Gorilla Press and climbs up and out of the cage. It was nice of Warrior to throw in a gyration on the way out. That certainly wasn't a very creative finish, but this was a different time. Warrior climbs the cage again and celebrates by swinging his title belt. The match was compact and had a good pace, but it lacked any real drama. 

Match Rating: **

This is a tough show to give a score to. So many of the matches were short and there were so many interview segments. The nostalgia of this era is strong and the character work blows away modern day wrestling, as goofy as so many of them were. The main events delivered about as good as they were going to and the Rockers/Power & Glory and Demolition/Hart Foundation matches were very solid. If you like this era, this show is a no brainer. However, I'm not sure it would win over younger fans. 

Overall Rating: 62%

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