Original Airdate: Saturday, January 15th, 1994
Lowell Auditorium
Lowell, Massachusetts
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Lex Luger vs. Bastion Booger
Booger catches Luger and hits a powerslam and a leg drop for a 2 count. Booger is one of the worst actual wrestlers that I can think of. Booger misses in the corner and Luger hits some clotheslines. He makes the mistake of trying to body slam him, but he has no luck and Booger slams him instead. Luger fights back and again goes for a body slam, but Luger falls on his back and then gets clotheslined through the ropes. I wish I loved anything as much as wrestlers loved trying to body slam big opponents. Luger gets smashed into the ring post and then all of a sudden stops selling it and gets his precious body slam. He hits the forearm for the victory. Booger is just so bad.
Match Rating: 1/2*
We go to Gorilla Monsoon for Update. Bret and Owen are disappointed that the Quebecers aren't the champs any more, but Bret is confident that the new champs will give them a title shot after they take care of the Quebecers. Bret also says that he is going to devote his time to tag team wrestling with Owen. We then hear from both Marty Jannetty and 1-2-3 Kid and the Quebecers about their match at Madison Square Garden.
Headshrinkers vs. JW Storm & Tony DeVito
The Headshrinkers toss Storm around and we then get a promo of them yelling. They hit the backbreaker and a big splash and that is all. That was really quick. They then have some fun with the video board on the way out. Headshrinkers were not used to their full potential whatsoever.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We now kick it to Jim Ross, who is much better as an announcer than he is at this sort of thing. Bam Bam says he's going to take out Doink in front of curtains. Doink and Dink then get a chance in front of the curtains. This stunk.
It's time for the guest ring announcer and she does a better job than most of these that I've seen.
Tatanka vs. Barry Horowitz
We get pre-recorded comments from Ludvig Borga, as if someone actually thought we cared. Vince says that their match will be a classic. Tatanka makes his comeback and hits the top rope chop. He hits the Samoan drop for the victory. This was every Tatanka squash ever and then Vince reminds us for the 28th time that Tatanka is in the Royal Rumble.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Back to JR and he interviews Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette in front of a different pair of curtains. JR shows them the video of Undertaker's final casket. This infuriates Cornette and he admits that Yoko is afraid of the box, but Yokozuna will be ready at the Royal Rumble.
Virgil vs. Derek Domino
I'm not sure why Virgil is still on the roster, but here he is. It was always kind of weird that they never really had a follow up feud planned for him after Ted DiBiase. He hits a back body drop and then puts on the Million Dollar Dream for the victory. Hopefully he got some free breadsticks after the match.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Raymond Rougeau is with Shawn Michaels and Diesel and Michaels says he is the favorite. Bam Bam argues he is, then Jeff Jarrett and his dorky headband say they are. Crush's mullet comes in, then Adam Bomb, then Rick Martel and well, you get the picture. Michaels and Diesel then argue about letting Michaels win. This was harmless, nostalgic fun.
Todd Pettengill is here for the Royal Rumble Report and he telegraphs the Owen/Bret breakup a little bit too much. Macho Man chimes in to talk about winning it and then surprisingly the Smoking Gunns also get a promo. Marty and 1-2-3 Kid then take playful jabs at tossing each other out in the Rumble.
Tony Roy vs. IRS
IRS cuts the same promo as ever and says 1994 will be the year of the audit. Razor says he doesn't think IRS will be able to take the title away from him. IRS hits a clothesline and that's it. Whatever.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We go back to Jim Ross and he lets us know that the Royal Rumble hotline is running! Crush says that the Royal Rumble means bad news for Macho Man. Meanwhile, Mr. Fuji looks like he's taking a dump. Savage responds and says that Crush is going down.
Next week we'll get Ludvig Borga, Doink, Shawn Michaels and in the main event it's Rick Martel and Adam Bomb against the Smoking Gunns. Plus, we get a special interview with the Hart brothers.
Undertaker vs. Duane Gill
Gillllllberg. Gill ducks a clothesline, but just gets chokeslammed instead. What a payday for Taker.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Like almost every episode of Superstars ever, it wasn't good, but it was entertaining enough. Bastion Booger is beyond embarrassing though and the roster definitely was thinning around this time.
Overall Rating: 42%
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