Monday, February 7, 2022

Superstars 7-9-94 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, July 9th, 1994
Wilkes University Mart Center
Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania

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Why does it look less like JR and Jerry Lawler are in the arena than it did when they first got their green screen?

Fake Undertaker vs. Tatanka

If you put a list of matches together that I was really looking forward to seeing, this wouldn't be on it. Underfaker attacks Tatanka thanks to the help of Ted DiBiase and then hits Old School. Faker does one of the worst submission holds I've ever seen where he just squeezes Tatanka's face for what feels like eternity. Tatanka makes his comeback and he knocks him off his feet. Faker sits up and quickly hits the Tombstone for a rare pinfall victory on Tatanka. This is all worse than I ever imagined. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for the SummerSlam Report, where Todd Pettengill announces that Undertaker is taking on the Undertaker. Todd is confused, so we get an interview from Paul Bearer to tell Ted DiBiase that he will rest in peace. 

Mabel vs. Black Phantom

Black Phantom hits a few clotheslines and a dropkick, which leaves Mabel leaning on the rope. Mabel comes back with a clothesline and a suplex. He hits a big leg drop and that is all. I'll take Mabel over Fake Undertaker any day of the week. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a video package hyping up the Bret Hart/1-2-3 Kid match on Raw. 

Diesel vs. Chris Kanyon

Nobody better than Kanyon('s mullet). Diesel dominates, but that doesn't stop Shawn Michaels from getting in a cheap shot. Diesel hits Snake Eyes and a big boot. The Jackknife ends it. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it's Yokozuna vs. Typhoon on Superstars. 

WWF Women's Championship Match
Luna Vachon vs. Alundra Blayze

Alundra ducks a charging Alundra and she goes over the top rope. Luna puts the Boston Crab on in the middle of the ring until Alundra is able to roll through for a 2 count. Luna hits a swinging neckbreaker and hits a top rope splash for another nearfall. She goes for a Frog Splash, but Alundra moves out of the way. She hits a German suplex with a bridge and gets the victory. This was too short, but what we got was enjoyable. 

Match Rating: **

Owen Hart vs. Barry Scott (?)

Owen hits a reverse neckbreaker and a nice missile dropkick. He tosses his opponent around before locking in the Sharpshooter for the quick victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a Bret Hart music video for some reason.

Jim Messenger vs. Duke Droese

Droese is able to body slam the large Messenger and then hits a big elbow drop for the victory. He'll be headlining MSG in no time. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show some annoying kid who was the co-host of WWF Mania. 

Jim Cornette says that Typhoon is going to wash back to see next week when he faces Yokozuna. 

Well, this episode was pretty uneventful, but also flew by once the first match was over. The women's match was a nice change of pace that deserved at least a couple more minutes than what we got. Look, 1994 isn't for everybody. But it also really isn't that bad with the exception of the Fake Undertaker stuff. 

Overall Rating: 46%

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