Sunday, April 3rd, 2022
AT&T Stadium
Arlington, Texas
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
Jessie James Decker is here tonight to sing "America The Beautiful". This is followed by another Mark Wahlberg intro.
Triple H's music hits and he makes his way to the ring. He gets a big ovation and introduces us to WrestleMania and the pyro. He leaves his boots in the ring with a microphone. Gable Steveson is in the audience tonight.
Triple Threat Match For The Raw Tag Team Championships
RK-Bro vs. Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy
It makes me happy to see Chad Gable actually being used. It's chaos to start things off and the referee is just sitting there watching it unfold. Montez Ford hits his leaping dive over the corner to the floor and Gable follows it up with a moonsault. When everything calms down, it's Otis hitting a splash on Riddle in the ring. Angelo Dawkins gets some offense in taking care of both Gable and Riddle, but in comes Otis to make the save. Riddle avoids Otis in the corner and he hits his shoulder on the ring post, but it's his own corner, so Gable tags in. Riddle hits a knee and then hits a Bro To Sleep on Dawkins. Orton and Ford get tagged in and Orton gets the better of it. Orton hits a back suplex on the announce table on Ford and then on Gable. Orton and Riddle hit a double draping DDT on the Street Profits. Otis hits an elbow and then they hit a top rope bulldog. In come the Street Profits hits a top rope blockbuster, but Gable somehow kicks out. Dawkins avoids a RKO and then hits a dive to the outside. Ford goes up top, but Riddle gets up and hits a top rope RKO. Gable goes off the top rope, but Orton catches him and hits the RKO for the victory. I don't think I thought this was going to be as good as it ended up being. The crowd absolutely loved the final minutes too. After the match, the Street Profits hand RK-Bro some red cups and then call in Gable Steveson to join them. They go for a cheers, but in comes Chad Gable and slaps away the cup. Chad has the mic and tells him to shoooooosh. Gable grabs him and hits an overhead suplex and then joins in the toast.
Match Rating: ***3/4
Omos vs. Bobby Lashley
Omos dominates the early going and then my signal goes out. Omos catches Lashley off the top rope and he launches him up and down to the mat. It is pretty crazy how small Lashley looks compared to Omos. Omos drives him into the turnbuckle and it appears that Lashley may have hit his head on the ring post. Lashley makes his comeback and hits a suplex to a nice ovation. He hits a Spear to the back of Omos and then another one for the victory. I wasn't expecting much here, but I'd say they slightly exceeded my expectations.
Match Rating: *1/2
I guess if you don't have a match at WrestleMania, you do charity work.
Anything Goes Match
Sami Zayn vs. Johnny Knoxville
This honestly may have the best build out of all of the matches on the card and Zayn is my favorite character on the current roster. Zayn runs and hits a Helluva Kick right as it starts. He then throws him into the barricade in front of some of the Jackass crew. The distraction hurts Sami though and Knoxville sprays a fire extinguisher in his face. I have never seen a single episode (or movie) of Jackass. We got some weapons in the ring now and Zayn cracks a crutch on the back of Knoxville. Zayn brings out a table and a bowling ball. He then brings out a table full of mousetraps. Knoxville hits two garbage can lids on Zayn and a Stop sign. Knoxville sets up a table in the corner, but Zayn hits an exploder on Knoxville through the table. Chris Pontius is out and then takes off his pants and starts dancing. Zayn attacks him and dumps him out of the ring. Knoxville rolls up Zayn and gets a 2 count. Zayn goes under the ring and Wee Man attacks him. Wee Man then hits a body slam on Zayn, which is pretty impressive. Knoxville then hits a tornado DDT, but Zayn kicks out. I'll be honest, I had never heard of Wee Man until yesterday. Zayn goes up top, but some pyro goes off and sends Zayn off. Knoxville then rolls the bowling ball to the groin reason. Knoxville has a taser and stalks Zayn with it. Zayn runs into a giant hand. This is silly fun that I don't think we've ever seen taken to this level in WWE. Zayn tries to go up to the top rope again, but is hesitant. The extra time allows Knoxville to grab Zayn by the crotch with tongs and then throws him through the table full of mousetraps. The Jackass crew comes out and puts a giant mousetrap in the ring. Knoxville uses the taser on him and puts him in the mousetrap. It doesn't seem to work exactly as they'd hoped, but it was enough for the victory. The entire crew celebrates as Zayn stays in the trap. I'm not sure that anyone expected Zayn to not be game here for anything, but I think he even exceeded what I thought he would do. This was something very different than just about anything we have ever seen on WWE TV.
Match Rating: ***1/4
Fatal Four-Way For The Women's Tag Team Championships
Naomi & Sasha Banks vs. Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler & Natalya vs. Queen Zelina & Carmella
With it being 9:30 already, I'm thinking the entrances will be longer than the match here. Not that it is a surprise at all, it really is a shame that this tag division means absolutely nothing. We get lots of quick tags and lots of interference to start. Shayna stomps on the ankle of Liv and then starts to twist it as Morgan screams in pain. In comes Carmella in her Madonna gear and mask. Zelina then hits Code Red, but Rhea breaks it up. It's chaos again with everyone coming in and hitting big moves. Carmella hits a hurricanrana on Rhea on the turnbuckle and Zelina hits a moonsault to the outside. Sasha and Naomi go up top, but both get stopped and we get dual tower of doom spots with Rhea and Liv pulling it off. Carmella gets a close call with a superkick on Naomi, but loses it when she kicks out. Sasha comes in and puts on the Banks Statement, but Zelina pulls Carmella out. Sasha hits a Meteora to Zelina and Sasha and Naomi hit a Code Breaker combo to become the new champions. I'm not sure what it is, but everything here is exceeding expectations so far here tonight. This was definitely a formula match, but the pace was good and they worked hard.
Match Rating: ***1/4
AJ Styles vs. Edge
Edge gets a Brood type entrance full of fire. AJ gets the better of Edge after hitting a nice dropkick and then a running knee. AJ goes for the springboard 450, but Edge gets his knees up. Edge slows the match down and dominates AJ. AJ tries to charge at Edge, but then slides into the turnbuckle in a cool looking spot. AJ is able to suplex Edge into the turnbuckles, which seems like a dangerous move for a guy who has an injury history like Edge. We get a sequence of a lot of counters and it leads to Edge putting on the STF, but AJ is able to get the bottom rope with his foot. AJ hits a cool variation of the DDT and both men are down. Edge tries for a superplex, then AJ tries for a sunset flip powerbomb and it ends up with AJ hitting a spinning powerbomb out of the Torture Rack. Edge hits Edgecution, but AJ kicks out. They start slugging it out and AJ hits the Pele Kick and puts on the Calf Crusher. Edge counters and goes for the arm bar and ends up with a crossface in. Styles is able to will his way out, but Edge remains in control. AJ hits a suplex on Edge on the apron, which again doesn't seem like a great idea for Edge. AJ hits the 450 splash but Edge kicks out. Edge ducks the Phenomenal Forearm, AJ leaps over the Spear and AJ then hits the Styles Clash, but Edge just barely kicks out. AJ goes for the Phenomenal Forearm again, but Damian Priest is outside the ring. It distracts AJ just enough and Edge hits the Spear on AJ in midair and that's enough for the victory. I like the idea of Edge and Priest as a duo. The match was good, but it didn't meet what I was expecting. It was full of some good sequences, but there also felt like some filler in there.
Match Rating: ***1/2
They announce the attendance for tonight as 77,453.
Sheamus & Ridge Holland vs. New Day
Hey, they made it! No special entrance for the New Day is a bummer, but they are wearing Big E inspired gear. Sheamus and Ridge attack them on their way into the ring and we have a brawl. The bell rings and Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise, but Sheamus is able to pull him off before the 3 count. Xavier hits a diving kick through the ropes and they are playing up Butch having to be contained by Sheamus. Xavier takes down the straps, but on the outside Kofi eats a big kick to the face. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick on Xavier and Ridge hits Northern Grit and gets the victory? I knew this would be short, but I'm not really sure it should be this. Butch runs in and attacks Xavier and his teammates have to pull him off. He basically is a more serious version of the original version of Hornswoggle. This match could have been good, but this was hardly that. I'm sure there will be a rematch down the line.
Match Rating: *1/2
They do the Hall Of Famers again, but only have Undertaker come out tonight.
Austin Theory vs. Pat McAfee
Vince McMahon comes out to introduce Theory. McAfee gets "Seven Nation Army" and the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. He follows that up by punting a football into the crowd. I have to say, this is a really strange position to put Austin Theory in. The dude is 24 years old and is fighting a punter in front of 70,000 people. McAfee hits a series of right hands to start the match off. McAfee hits a hurricanrana for a 2 count. McAfee is more over with the crowd than Edge was. I'm not sure I'm even joking. McAfee counters a suplex and hits one of his own. He then knocks Theory off the apron and into the announce table right in front of Vince. McAfee pays homage to the Rock and puts on the headset during a beatdown. McAfee goes for a Swanton, but Theory moves out of the way. I'm going to be honest, I'm not really sure why they are using Vince in an on air role. He just isn't able to be what he used to be anymore. Theory goes up, but he takes too long and McAfee hits him with a right hand. McAfee goes for a superplex, but Theory blocks it, so McAfee moonsaults off. McAfee leaps up to the top and hits the superplex. McAfee really should not be as good as he is. He goes for a punt, but Theory avoids it and hits him with a right hand. Theory gets McAfee on his shoulders, but McAfee escapes and rolls up Theory for the victory and it's like a party in here. It's insane how over he is with the WWE crowd. After the match, Vince teases getting into the ring and takes off the shirt. A referee climbs into the ring, but Theory attacks him from behind. The ref rings the bell, so we have a match?
Pat McAfee vs. Vince McMahon
McMahon hits a clothesline and we're underway. Theory gets involve in between a lot of stalling since Vince can't really do anything. Theory hands Vince a Cowboys football and he teases punting it in the crowd before finally punting it in Pat's midsection. Vince picks up the victory in one of the weirdest things in WrestleMania history. It's not over yet because after the celebration, Austin's music hits. Theory attacks Austin, but that doesn't work. Austin hits the Stunner and he's out of the ring. Austin hands Vince a beer and they chug them. Austin kicks him in the gut and delivers one of the worst Stunners ever. Sorry, the worst Stunner ever. He celebrates with McAfee and then hits the Stunner on him to end this fever dream. I don't even know how to rate all of this. The Theory/McAfee match was solid and the Vince part was horrible. Austin coming out was fun, but also took too long to get to where they were going. What a strange trip tonight has been.
Match Rating: **3/4
Winner Takes All Match
Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar
It's interesting to note how different the vibe is going into this match compared to their main event at WrestleMania 31. Lesnar manhandles Roman before hitting the first three belly-to-belly suplexes. Lesnar clotheslines Reigns over the top and goes after Heyman. This leads to a Spear through the barricade, which continues to be the go to spot. Lesnar barely beats the count and then immediately gets hit with a Spear for a 2 count. Roman hits a Superman Punch and hits another for good measure. It's safe to say that Roman is a little bit more over than he was at WrestleMania 32 in this same stadium. Lesnar is back up and hits five German suplexes. He goes for another, but Roman pushes him into the turnbuckle and hits another Superman punch. Lesnar hits the F5, but Roman kicks out at 2. Roman hits a low blow and the referee is down. Roman hits Brock in the head with the belt, but Brock kicks out. Roman hits a weird Spear to the back and Lesnar is right under the ropes for the pin attempt. Roman hits another Spear, but Lesnar put son the Kimura. After a good amount of time in the hold, Reigns is able to grab the bottom rope. Brock goes for the F5, Reigns escapes and hits another Spear and that's all? What a weird finish to that match. I continue to be in the minority that finds the match quality of this Reigns run as disappointing. That was just a flat finish where there didn't need to be one. The match was pretty good, but they did very little to differentiate it from their other matches.
Match Rating: **3/4
Well both nights were the most fun I've had watching WWE in a really long time. The crowd was hyped up both nights and a lot of the matches delivered. This show reminded me a lot of WrestleMania 31, where they did a perfect mix of wrestling and sports entertainment and they left me more interested in their product than I was coming into it. I'm going to go with the same score as last night here.
Overall Rating: 80%
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