Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
Joe Louis Arena
Detroit, Michigan
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
I get to review a show I was at for the first time in awhile. We start off with Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly in the ring and he shows a video package of her stripteases. They then show her getting smacked in the head by Sandman. He then tells her that he didn't abandon her, he ran to the back to get medical attention as quickly as possible. I guess we're getting a match here.
Mike Knox vs. Sandman
The ref takes away the cane and it allows Knox to attack him. This is not an Extreme Rules match, if you're keeping score at home. Sandman hits a side Russian leg sweep. Kelly gets on the apron and Sandman grabs his cane. He goes to hit Knox, but Kelly gets in the way and in comes Test to attack Knox. They double team Sandman and the crowd doesn't care. I remember it being pretty silent for all of this.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Test and Knox are backstage celebrating and they get attacked by Tommy Dreamer with a garbage can.
We go to Paul Heyman and Sabu, who wants to challenge Big Show for a title match. Heyman says that the match can't happen and he tells Sabu to take the night off. Heyman then goes off on Little Guido and kicks him out of his chair. His stooges then attack him until Heyman tells them it's enough. Heyman then tells him his match is next.
CM Punk is coming.
Kevin Thorn vs. Little Guido
Guido is dragged to the ring by Heyman's security. I can't believe I forgot that I got to witness the televised debut of Thorn. He hits a version of the powerbomb and then chokes Guido. He then hits a draped Stunner and a Razor's Edge for the victory. He honestly didn't look too bad and that's a credit to Guido, who did a great job bumping around.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We get a Kane "highlight" package.
Balls Mahoney vs. Justin Credible
These two are having a match and no one really cares. Credible gets enough offense in to have a rest spot, which seems like a bad idea considering how little the crowd is invested in either guy at this point. Balls hits a back suplex to get out of it and does his punch gimmick. Credible goes for a sliding kick in the corner, but Balls moves and he slides into the post. Balls gets dropkicked into the ref and Credible grabs a chair. Balls gets it away from him and he hits Credible with it and the ref sees it and that's a DQ. This was brutal and almost uncomfortable for the performers. Balls doesn't like the decision so he hits the ref with it and that gets the biggest pop of the whole thing.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Big Show is back with Heyman and he is questioning why he won't let him face Sabu. They then show a tale of the tape for Big Show and Kane and they actually list "Star of See No Evil" as a career highlight.
Extreme Rules Match For The ECW Championship
Big Show vs. Kane
There have been times where I felt that WWE has tried to test my fandom and this was one of them. The sad thing is that my interest is possibly even lower today. Show climbs to the second rope, but Kane hits a back suplex on him, leaving both men down. They get to their knees and start slugging each other with right hands. Kane hits two clotheslines in the corner and grabs him for the chokeslam. Show grabs Kane by the throat and hits the chokeslam instead, but Kane kicks out at 2. Show sets up two tables next to each other outside the ring and then hits Kane with a trash can. Kane starts nailing Show with a chair and he eventually knocks him off the apron and through the tables. More unprotected chair shots. Kane drags him back in the ring after Heyman checks in on Show. Show is busted open and Kane goes up top, but Show catches Kane by the throat. He goes for the chokeslam, but Kane counters into a terrible DDT. Heyman pulls the ref out of the ring during his count and Kane drags Heyman in. Show grabs a chair and hits Kane in the back and head. Show hits a chokeslam on the chair and this is thankfully over with. Sabu comes from out of nowhere and hits a missile dropkick with a chair on Show and heads to the back. They show the replay of Heyman pulling the ref out of the ring, but it shouldn't have even mattered since Show's feet were both under the ropes. But then again, nothing on this episode mattered, so I guess it's fitting.
Match Rating: *1/2
It's never a good thing when a short backstage segment is the highlight of the show, but that was the case in this turd of an episode. This was really boring and just a poorly booked show from every aspect.
Overall Rating: 26%
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