Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Superstars 9-17-94 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, September 17th, 1994
Portland  Civic Center
Portland, Maine

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Bushwhackers vs. Well Dunn

The Bushwhackers lick Jerry Lawler on the face on the way to the ring and Well Dunn gets the already in the ring treatment. They care so much about Well Dunn that they've had about 3 televised matches. All four men eventually get in the ring and Butch and Luke duck clotheslines and bite the butts of their opponents. What exactly is the point of Harvey Wippleman managing Well Dunn at this point? Well Dunn hits a drop toe hold into a leg drop if you care. One of the Well Dunners hits a top rope reverse elbow for a 2 count. Butch hits a headbutt to the midsection of whichever guy and Luke gets the pin. I'm sorry, I just don't care enough right now to look up which one is which. The battle goes on after the match and it leads to Harvey Wippleman being caught in the middle of tug of war and they pull off his pants. The Bushwhackers looked pretty unmotivated here and can you blame them? 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They show the whole Bam Bam Bigelow/Adam Bomb encounter last week and the Bomb cuts a cheesy promo.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Phil Apollo

Vince just can't get over the Ain't I Great album title. Jarrett then does his whole schtick that no one ever wanted to hear more than once. Apollo gets in a drop toe hold, but Jarrett avoids a knee in the corner. Jarrett puts on the Figure Four and that is all. Not as fun as most Jarrett squashes typically are.

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time to watch the WWF charity softball highlights from SummerSlam weekend. Dink gets a hit!

Tony DeVito vs. Undertaker

Again, this was taped before SummerSlam. This is exactly every Taker squash ever, but the crowd likes it so who am I to complain? He hits the Tombstone for the easy victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Kwang vs. Scott Taylor

It's a big morning here for Harvey. Kwang hits his spin kick and does the whole pose and spit out green mist thing. I give him credit, it was pretty obvious that no one cared, but he kept trying. It didn't work. Kwang hits a hip toss and Scotty 2 Hotty tries to pull out his wedgie. Taylor misses a moonsault, but lands on his feet. He ducks some kicks, but Kwang eventually hits him with one and that's all. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for The Heartbreak Hotel with Ted DiBiase and Tatanka. Tatanka is wearing a suit, so obviously he's evil. Tatanka is pretty horrible here. This was just filler.

Sparky Plugg vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

Vince and Lawler are still talking about Lawler getting licked. Continuity, I suppose. Iron Mike is particularly "ahhhhh" today. Abe Schwartz is still on strike. Sharpe runs into a boot to the face in the corner and Holly hits a crossbody that rolls over twice and gets the victory. Interesting finish for a jobber match. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Bob Backlund vs. Tony Roy

Bob Backlund: The New Generation. We get a lot of stalling and it leads to the Crossface Chicken Wing for the victory. I still can't believe this was something that really happened. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a recap of Undertaker/Kwang from Raw because we were all dying to see it again. 

Next week we get British Bulldog, Shawn Michaels and Diesel, Adam Bomb, Tatanka and Yokozuna.

This was a great example of why the business wasn't doing well. There was no substance here and nothing interesting happening. This was just not a good episode, even by Superstars standards.

Overall Rating: 30%

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