Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Monday Night Raw 8-28-06 Review

Monday, August 28th, 2006
Atlantic City Boardwalk Hall
Atlantic City, New Jersey

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Shane McMahon is here to kick off the show to let DX know that they've gone too far. Shane says that DX will have to compete tonight, but he's not saying who their opponents are. He's then interrupted by Edge and Lita. Edge is sick of John Cena and he wants him out of his life. Naturally, Cena's music hits and after making some bad jokes, he wants one more match. Edge agrees, but wants to name where it takes place (not in this dump) and he gets to name the type of match. Shane then tells Cena that he has a match right now. 

John Cena vs. Chris Masters

This is Masters first match in months, as he was out for personal reasons. He is a little bit slimmer and sporting a goatee. Jerry Lawler refers to him as "leaner and meaner". Masters pulls out some Hercules punches and puts on a variation of the Camel Clutch. Cena comes back and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the FU, but Masters counter into an inverted DDT. JR randomly calls it the Slop Drop. Cena quickly comes back with the STFU, but in comes Edge and hits him with a chair, causing a DQ finish. Edge goes under the ring and grabs a ladder. He rams it right into the head of Cena and now it's time for the table. He props it up in the corner and throws Cena through it. Edge grabs the mic and says the match will take place in his hometown at Unforgiven in a match he's never lost before, TLC. Overall, this all was pretty well done, although it's pretty obvious that they have cooled way down on Masters after his leave of absence.

Match Rating: *1/4

We get a jobber meeting backstage with Shane and he tells them that they already have a plan for their opponents. Shane gets a phone call from dad. Vince is in a hotel suite and says that he feels great. The doorbell rings and then we hear some rooster noises. He was delivered a cage of roosters. Hilarious. 

Carlito and Trish are walking backstage, so I guess that is still going on. Carlito is wondering when Trish is going to tell Carlito about her retirement. He found out from a WWE mobile alert from Lita. Trish wanted to announce it, but Lita ruined it. Carlito says if that's what's best for her, he supports it. He then gives her a kiss goodbye and then is attacked from behind by Randy Orton. Trish looked like she hit the cart behind her pretty hard. 

Back To Schoolgirl Paddle On A Pole Match
Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

They both go right for the pole, but are unsuccessful. Torrie hits a Stink Face after taking off her skirt, but Candice bites her butt. This allows her to grab the pole and win the match. Torrie now has to get spanked, but in a shocking turn of events, hands the paddle to Torrie. She reveals her underwear says "Spank me" on it. What a time to be alive. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

Intercontinental Championship #1 Contenders Match
Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

After an aggressive start from Orton, Hardy makes a comeback and hits a springboard Whisper In The Wind to the floor into the commercial break. They show that Orton hit a clothesline to take control of the match. I also forgot that this was a Syfy episode of Raw. Hardy goes for a dive through the ropes, but Orton got his leg up to hit him with a knee. JR says he'll be shocked if Hardy has a long career, which is kind of crazy that JR called a Jeff Hardy match 16 years later. Hardy counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana, but then Orton counters a reverse crossbody with a dropkick. Hardy is able to comeback and heads up top for a Swanton. Orton rolls out of the ring, but Carlito attacks him and spits an apple in his face. Hardy hits a Twist Of Fate and the Swanton to become the #1 contender. This match sort of lacked any psychology, as it seemed to be them just trading moves back and forth. Their chemistry was also a little off, although this was hardly bad. It just wasn't as good as you would expect.

Match Rating: **1/4

DX is backstage until Shane comes back with some cops. I spy Cesaro and maybe EC3. Triple H then makes a joke about his father dating girls a third his age, which is really bad timing here in the future. 

The Highlanders are here to join the announce team.

World Tag Team Championship Match
Eugene & Jim Duggan vs. Spirit Squad

Two of the Spirit Squad get knocked into the announce table and that causes the Highlanders to get involved. The referee ejects both Highlanders and the 2 Spirit Squad members. Kenny removes a turnbuckle pad behind the referee's back and Eugene is able to get a tag. Duggan cleans house, but when he charges at Mikey, they push him out of the way and Duggan runs into the exposed turnbuckle. They roll him up and the Spirit Squad retains. This was nothing.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Umaga's music hits and the Spirit Squad splits. Umaga hits a flatliner on Eugene and then the Samoan Spike on Duggan. It amazes me that Armando Estrada is only 27 years old here. 

After showing the clips of Melina turning on Mick Foley, Melina and Johnny Nitro are out to the ring. He talks about how great he is and getting freaky with Melina. Melina then talks about Foley embarrassing himself with his crush. They continue to insult the normal people and that they're stars. It's nice to see them get some TV time, but this went on too long for just about anyone. 

JR and Lawler then talk about Kurt Angle being released and they wish him the best. After commercial, they talk about Lita overhearing Trish about her retirement again. 

WWE Women's Championship Match
Lita vs. Mickie James

The crowd has been conditioned to hate both of these ladies and it is dead silent. Mickie is able to hit an enzuigiri and a Fisherman's Suplex for a 2 count. Lita fights back with a back elbow to the face and grabs her title belt. The referee takes it away and Mickie rolls her up. The ref is slow to count and it only gets a 2. Mickie goes for a hurricanrana, but Lita drops her down, grabs the rope and steals the victory. They were trying to pull off a good match in a short amount of time, but unfortunately the crowd just wasn't into it. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Handicap Match
Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. William Regal, Finlay & Mr. Kennedy

Shane McMahon announces the heels to no reaction. The crowd is just pretty much done at this point. Hornswoggle quickly makes his Raw debut getting involved. The heels dominate until Michaels is able to avoid a charging Finlay and his shoulder hits the ring post. In comes Regal and Triple H. They throw Kennedy out of the ring, but Finlay grabs Triple H. Regal goes for a chair shot, but Triple H ducks and he hits Finlay. Triple H hits the Pedigree and picks up the victory. Out comes Shane McMahon and he says that he has two words for them and it's Big Show. Out comes the Big Show and they both attack him. Show goes for a double chokeslam, but they kick him below the belt. Kennedy and Finlay get involved and take both men out. Big Show hits his new finisher on Shawn and then out comes Vince with a lead pipe and a bad attitude. Vince uses it on Triple H and then starts to choke him with it. Triple H is busted open and they then start choking Michaels with it. Vince grabs the camera away from a camera man and uses it on Michaels' face. Even for this, the crowd is dead and there are still 3 more minutes of airtime. Vince announces it will be him, Shane and Big Show against DX in Hell In A Cell. This was a mess of a segment, not to mention they have been building up Kennedy for months and made him look like a total goof.

Match Rating: 1/2*

This show was off to a hot start, but it was all downhill after the Orton/Hardy match. The DX/McMahon feud has lost all of its steam and thankfully it's almost about to come to an end. The Edge/Cena stuff continues to carry the show.

Overall Rating: 48%

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