Monday, June 26, 2023

Monday Night Raw 1-1-07 Review

Monday, January 1st, 2007
American Airlines Arena
Miami, Florida

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

No DQ Match
John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

I guess we're going right to the match they have been hyping for weeks. Federline grabs the mic before making his way down to the ring to inform Cena that the match has been changed to no disqualifications. He then introduces his personal trainer Johnny Nitro. The bell ring gets a pretty good pop for this thing to get started. Cena offers Federline a free headlock and Cena powers his way out of it. Then we get lots of stalling that leads to Nitro taking some bumps and then Federline hits a low blow from behind. Cena picks him up for the FU, but out comes Umaga and he attacks Cena. Umaga then grabs the belt and hits Cena in the head with it. Federline comes in and covers him for the win. Cena wasn't taking many pinfall losses during this era, so even despite the interference, this was a rarity during this time period. I thought they would have put together a little bit more of a match, but it really wasn't much of anything.

Match Rating: 1/4*

After the commercial break, they show Federline, Nitro and some ladies heading to the locker room. Maria tries to get an interview, but Melina gets in her face about it. This leads to Melina saying they'll have a match tonight and slaps her in the face. 

JR and Jerry Lawler start talking about the attack on DX by the hands of Rated RKO. They show a shot of DX backstage and then go back to the locker room of Federline. Jonathan Coachman comes in to celebrate. Coach then announces that the main event tonight is John Cena against Umaga, Armando Alejandro Estrada, Coach and Nitro. 

Some of the Miami Heat, including Shaquille O'Neal, are in the house.

Cryme Tyme & Highlanders vs. Trevor Murdoch, Lance Cade & The World's Greatest Tag Team

This is your typical let's throw the entire tag division in a match and see if anyone cares. It doesn't take long for this match to fall apart and turn into a brawl. The ring gets cleared and it leads us to Murdoch vs. Shad. JTG snaps Murdoch on the top rope from behind and Shad gets the pinfall victory. As you would expect, this was rushed since the company had no interest in devoting any time to any of these teams outside of backstage skits for Cryme Tyme.

Match Rating: 3/4*

We get a WrestleMania 23 Recall and it's showing Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant from WrestleMania III.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Conway

Rob Conway comes out during Hardy's entrance and says that this is a new year for him. He's sick of losing and he announces that if he loses here, he will quit Raw. He attacks Hardy and then backs him into the corner where Hardy turns it into a pin attempt and gets the victory. Conway is irate and then out comes Vince McMahon. Vince makes fun of the fans of WWE because he knows they will break their New Year's resolutions just like Conway did in less than a minute. Vince says that he doesn't break his and that this year he isn't going to be as nice or let people take advantage of him. He says that his buddy Donald Trump has his hands full with Rosie O'Donnell, referring to her as Yokozuna. He says that Trump stole his "You're fired" and he's going to use it tonight on Conway. I did not remember Conway being the starting point of the Donald Trump/Vince McMahon feud. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They interview Kenny Dykstra about turning down Ric Flair's handshake. He then makes reference that deaths come in 3 and says it will be 4 when you include Ric Flair's career. I won't even bother naming the people. 

We get a recap of the Rated RKO/DX feud and then show DX heading to the ring. 

DX is out to the ring and Shawn skips his part of the schtick and gets down to business. He makes fun of people and I honestly can't remember who he is talking about here. He then says that Rated RKO actually has a set, but they're going to destroy them Sunday. Triple H then calls them women and says they have yeast infections. Yes, really. 

Melina vs. Maria

Victoria comes out before the match gets started and joins the announce team. Maria attacks Melina and it doesn't last long. Victoria says that she's here because she has done all of the PR and events leading up to WrestleMania only to get passed over when it comes to actually wrestling there. She's sick of being pushed to the side and now has a blank space on her checklist. Meanwhile, Maria is making a comeback. It's not for long and Melina gets a sloppy roll up that doesn't get the 3 count, so she has to do it again and gets the win. Victoria then comes to the ring, looks at Melina, but then backs off. She then throws Lilian Garcia and throws her in the ring and gets her up for the Widow's Peak, but Mickie James makes the save. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a Tribute To The Troops recap video. 

Ric Flair & Carlito vs. Chris Masters & Kenny Dykstra

I still can't believe they actually allowed a wrestler to be named Kenny Dykstra. Masters plays the coward and instantly tags in Kenny to take on Carlito. When Masters comes in, he gets hit with a chop block by Flair. Flair slaps on the Figure Four, but Kenny breaks it up. We get a commercial break and the heels are in control of Carlito. Masters hits a nice double underhook suplex and honestly, he should use that move more often. He hits a gorilla press slam and gets a 2 count. Masters locks in the Master Lock until Flair is able to break it up with a chop block. Carlito makes the tag into Flair and he hits Kenny with some chops. He goes for the Figure Four again, but Masters clubs him before he can lock it in. Carlito and Masters start brawling up the aisle and Kenny goes for the Figure Four. Flair kicks him out of it, but Kenny is able to pin Flair by putting his feet on the ropes. After the match, Kenny heads to the back and Flair grabs a mic. Flair says that if he wants respect, he should keep this going. Out comes Randy Orton and Edge and Orton gives him a RKO. Edge then hits a One Man Conchairto. The match was pretty standard stuff. 

Match Rating: *3/4

JR and King run through the New Year's Revolution card. 

Federline is back out to tell us he told us so and that he loves proving people wrong. He joins the announce team for the main event.

Jonathan Coachman, Johnny Nitro, Umaga & Armando Alejandro Estrada vs. John Cena

This should be a classic. Cena goes right after Umaga and they start brawling. Cena ducks a charging Umaga and he's out of the ring. Nitro takes some bumps before allowing Umaga back in to hit the Samoan Drop. Umaga goes for a second rope splash, but Cena gets his knees up. He throws in the other partners and hits a drop toe hold into the STFU on Umaga. Estrada tries to use a chair, but Cena takes it away and hits two disgusting chair shots to the head of Umaga. The ref rings for the bell and Cena then hits FUs on both Nitro and Coach. He then runs out and grabs Federline, throws him in the ring and gives him the FU. The crowd absolutely loved that. This was actually really entertaining for such a short match, but the chair shots were just so stupid. Let's pretend that we don't even know what concussions are, which we most definitely did. Why would you want the guy in your main event in 6 days to take 2 unprotected shots to the head? 

Match Rating: **

This was a pretty uneven Raw, with the show really only being exciting at the end. It was a go home episode and didn't add a whole lot to any of the feuds. The live crowd did eat up the Federline stuff and this will forever be the Federline episode of Raw. 

Match Rating: 45%

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