WrestleMania XII Review

Sunday, March 31st, 1996
Arrowhead Pond Of Anaheim
Anaheim, California

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This is one of the handful of pay per views that I was able to order at my house and I was extremely excited for this one. I was into just about everything at this point of my childhood, but most particularly the main event and the return of Ultimate Warrior. 

We get a short but sweet hype video focusing on the main event before going into the arena with pyro, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler. They hype up the other matches outside the main event. Vader's music interrupts them and we are underway. 

Vader, British Bulldog & Owen Hart vs. Yokozuna, Jake Roberts & Ahmed Johnson

Vader and Yoko start going at it and the other four follow suit. Yoko ducks a clothesline and hits one of his own. He follows it up by clotheslining Vader over the top. Ahmed then decides to dive over the top onto Vader and gets a pop for it. We are back to Vader and Yoko again and this time Vader gets in a bunch of right hands. Owen hits Yoko with a dropkick from behind, but it doesn't faze Yoko. Yoko goes for a splash in the corner but Bulldog pulls Owen out of the way and they double team Yoko. Vader is back to slugging away on Yoko and he falls to the mat. Yoko is back on his feet and ducks a right hand and hits a Rock Bottom. Ahmed gets the hot tag and takes care of Owen and Bulldog. You really had to be around to understand how over Ahmed was. It really is a shame that it just never added up for him. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge on Bulldog but Owen hits a missile dropkick on him while Cornette is distracting the referee. Owen hits an enziguri before getting Vader back in. Owen comes in and Ahmed sort of misses his clothesline and both men are down. Ahmed crawls to the corner and tags in Jake. Short arm clothesline by Jake and the crowd is feeling it. Owen holds onto the ropes to block the DDT. Vader is in and he squashes Jake in the corner. Vader hits a body slam and Owen comes in off the top rope with an elbow drop for a 2 count. Bulldog hits a running powerslam and Jake kicks out of that too? Vader comes in and hits a big splash and Jake also kicks out of that. It seems like it would have been wiser to have Ahmed break up the count. Bulldog misses with a leg drop and both men crawl to their corners to make a tag. In come the two big men again and Yoko hammers away on Vader and the crowd is behind him. Yoko then cleans house and hits a Samoan drop on Bulldog. He tags in Jake, which makes no sense, but he goes for the DDT. We have all 6 men brawling and Jake hits a DDT on Owen. The ref is distracted and in comes Cornette with the tennis racket. Jake hits him in the gut and goes for a DDT on him. In comes Vader to break it up and hits the Vader Bomb on Jake for the victory. Call me crazy, but I enjoyed this one. They kind of booked themselves into a corner with trying to build up Ahmed as the hot new star, Yoko as a babyface and Vader as a top heel, but Vader had to get the win here. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

We get a Roddy Piper/Goldust hype video that for sure is not the same voiceover as the original airing. It sounds like Michael Cole, maybe?

Hollywood Backlot Brawl
Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

We go to the backlot and Goldust comes driving in a gold Cadillac. Piper has a baseball bat and smashes the window. He slams Goldust into a catering table and hits him with a trash can. Say what you will about this "match", but they are going all out. Piper starts spraying Goldust with a hose. Goldust hits a low blow to finally get away from Piper and tries to back out. He backs into a white Bronco and then runs into Roddy Piper. Piper falls off the hood and Goldust speeds off. Piper runs to the white Bronco and chases after him. We go back to the arena, so this is to be continued...

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

As Austin is entering, all they talk about is just about anything but Austin. Dok Hendrix is backstage with Savio Vega. They show Austin tagging with Vega under some sort of ruling and Austin never tagged in and then hit Vega off the top rope to cause their team to lose. Vega tries to cut a fired up promo to mixed results. Vega comes running in and we are underway. I was very much into Austin here, even as the lame Ringmaster gimmick. I had heard so many good things about him in the early days of the internet and he definitely was intriguing to me. Austin slows down the pace after leveling Vega with a double ax handle. The crowd is pretty quiet as you would expect for a match being built on Superstars and one that followed a videotaped match for the live crowd. Sadly, the thing this match is most remembered for is the interruptions from the whole Piper/Goldust stuff. We hear from Piper on the phone and he is unhinged as usual. We get one of my favorite wrestling spots, the constant pinfall attempts. I'm just a sucker for it. They show the footage of the car chase, which of course is just the OJ Simpson chase and Savio hits a big kick on Austin. These two are definitely putting in the effort, which is a common thing in 1996. Lots of guys getting big opportunities and the best ones worked their butts off to take advantage of it. Austin ducks a spin kick and he knocks out the referee. DiBiase puts the Million Dollar belt in the ring but Austin goes after Savio instead. He's all over it and blocks the attempt. DiBiase is on the apron this time and that's enough to distract him and Austin nails him with the belt, almost falling on Tim White and knocking him out for real. Austin hits him another time with the belt before putting on a choke hold (not the Million Dollar Dream for some reason). DiBiase dumps a Coke on White's head to wake him up and he does the arm drop and that's enough for the victory. The announcers do refer to this as the Million Dollar Dream, but it isn't. That was kind of a lame finish to an otherwise solid match. Austin keeps the hold on for a long time until another official comes out. 

Match Rating: **3/4

We now get more chase footage and Vince thinks it looks "awfully familiar". He has the awful part correct.

Mr. Perfect is backstage with Diesel and they show the end of the main event from In Your House and then the magic of Undertaker on Raw that I missed. They show the famous Diesel in the casket spot, which was well done. Diesel cuts a pretty tame promo here. 

They show more Bronco footage.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

Helmsley gets the biggest pop of his career just because the crowd knows what's coming. He's with his most attractive valet to date. They should consider using her for some other roles. Lawler lets us know that he heard that Warrior is up to 400 lbs. and had his head shaved. He pays good money to these sources. Vince lets us know that the valet's name is Sable. Warrior is out and gets a huge pop. This truly was a "I can't believe this is real" moment for me as a kid. I later would be disappointed by Warrior when I went to a house show and he no showed, leading to his release. Helmsley attacks him from behind with Warrior still in his robe. Warrior ducks a clothesline, but Helmsey kicks him in the midsection and hits the Pedigree. Warrior no sells it and stands right back up. Not one person has even come close to getting out of that move. Warrior hits some clotheslines and then hits the running shoulder tackle. He hits the press slam and the splash for the easy victory, making Helmsley look like a total goof but honestly it wasn't anything that was really going to kill his career like some people think. Warrior was in great physical shape here but at the same time, he was only 36 years old, so it's not like he was some old fart. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go back to Todd and he introduces a new superstar, "Wild Man" Marc "Maro". He's excited to be here in the WWF and then Helmsley bumps into him on accident. This leads to a brawl and that's that. 

We now get more footage of the car chase and Piper is on his way to the arena.

Diesel vs. Undertaker

We get right to this one with both men getting in some offense. They head to the outside of the ring and Diesel gets his head slammed into the steel steps. Taker is back in the ring and hits Old School, even though it's not called that yet. Taker grabs a chair, but Diesel is able to duck and Taker hits it on the post. Diesel then throws Taker into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Diesel hits a big boot and is pretty proud of himself. I was very much rooting for Diesel here but also knew that Diesel was leaving. I pretty much had flamed out on Undertaker at this point. Diesel hits Snake Eyes and then the splash on the ropes. We then get a double boot spot, which was pretty cool. We get my favorite move of all, a bear hug. Taker gets out and Diesel puts on a headlock, which Taker counters out of with a back suplex. Diesel hits a Jackknife, and the announcers are in shock. The transfer on Netflix is seemingly having some issues as I got some static sounding here. Diesel doesn't cover him and instead is just proud of himself. Taker sits up but Diesel hits him with a second Jackknife. He again doesn't cover him. What could go wrong? He does eventually go to the mat, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Taker starts throwing fists and hits a leaping clothesline. Taker hits a chokeslam and signals for the Tombstone. He gets him up and nails it in the center of the ring for the victory. This was a solid big man match that really was Taker's first real opponent at WrestleMania. It's pretty impressive that Diesel's two opponents at WrestleMania were Shawn Michaels and Undertaker. 

Match Rating: ***

We go backstage to Todd and he's watching a monitor of Piper and he realizes they are here at the arena. We then go to them getting out of their car and Piper chasing after him. Vince says "Roddy Piper" about 75 times. Now it's time for part 2 of this weird "match".

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper (Part 2)

Goldust gets Piper in position for maybe a piledriver and instead rubs his butt. We get more shenanigans until it's just too much for Piper to take. Piper snaps and grabs Goldust by the crotch. He then hits a knee south of the border. He then starts ripping off Goldust's attire and he's wearing women's lingerie underneath. He then hits him with another knee to the crotch and Goldust rolls out of the ring and heads to the back with Marlena covering him up. Piper's music hits and I guess that's it. As I said, this isn't a match really. I enjoyed the first part, hated that the in between stuff took over some of the show and thought the ending was meh. No rating for this one though.

We once again get Michael Cole for some reason on this hype video and it totally ruins it. 

We go to the ring with Howard Finkel and he announces the man who is now officially the President of WWF, Gorilla Monsoon. 

Iron Man Match For The WWF Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Shawn's music hits but out comes just Jose Lothario. He gets to the ring and his music stops. Lawler obviously assumes he chickened out. Instead, Jose points up to the top of the arena and there's Shawn dancing and then zip lines down to the ring for an epic entrance. Bret gets the standard entrance. We then get Earl Hebner explaining the rules to both competitors. Bret gives his glasses to his son, Blade in the front row and we are now underway. We get a slow pace to start, with Bret going to the mat. After a few minutes, we finally get a countdown timer with a very basic score bug, even by 1996 standards. With this one being 60 minutes, I'm not going to recap every second here. They show Freddie Blassie and Stu Hart in the front row. Bret was my guy back in 1996, but there was definitely a part of me that was rooting for Shawn. Bret throws Shawn into the corner, but he leaps up and gets Bret in a headscissors and it sends Bret through the middle ropes. Bret then thinks he throws Shawn over the ropes, but he skins the cat and gets Bret into an arm bar. I should mention that the ring mat has a unique pattern on it with the WrestleMania logo all over it. They sold this in pieces after the show, which I kind of always secretly wanted. I actually did like the look of it because it was different than anything else they were doing and I do believe that WrestleMania should look different. Business finally picks up around the 46 minute mark with Bret trying to go for the Sharpshooter and Shawn grabbing the bottom rope. Bret clotheslines him over the top. Shawn follows him outside and throws Bret into the timekeeper. Shawn goes for Sweet Chin Music and Bret ducks and he knocks out the timekeeper. This is one of the spots they replay always for this match. We get some replays of the kick and then see him being stretchered away. Vince is all of us when he says that he's surprised that there hasn't been a decision yet. Bret hits another clothesline and goes right back to the chin lock. Shawn has done some work on the shoulder of Bret and hits him with a shoulder breaker. He hits a double ax handle off the second rope and a hammerlock slam. Lawler is shocked that Michaels is wrestling in this style. Trust me, we all were. Bret hits a slingshot into the steel post and both men are down. We finally get a pinfall attempt and it gets a 2. Shawn misses a splash in the corner and Bret kicks him while he's draped up on the top rope. Bret hits an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Bret goes up to the top rope and Shawn meets him there. Bret fights him off and hits a weird variation of maybe a bulldog. We are at the halfway point and Shawn hits a power slam for a 2. Shawn ducks too early and Bret hits a piledriver and Shawn kicks out. The crowd is so hungry for a pinfall. Shawn thinks he has a chance for Sweet Chin Music but Bret sort of falls into the ropes, so he doesn't go for it. Bret rolls outside for a breather and Shawn hits him with a top rope dive. Back in the ring, Shawn hits a top rope crossbody but Bret rolls through and gets another 2 count. Shawn goes for a Perfect Plex and Bret kicks out of that. Shawn charges at Bret in the corner and Bret throws him way over the top. That was quite the bump. Bret gets him back in the ring and goes to work on his back. We now are at the 20 minute mark and it is still 0-0. Bret hits a super back suplex from the second rope and again Shawn kicks out. Bret has Shawn in a camel clutch and Shawn fights out of it into a sunset flip and another 2 count. Shawn goes off the second rope and Bret greets him with a fist to the midsection. Side Russian leg sweep by Bret and another 2 count. Shawn goes over the top on an Irish whip and he lands onto Jose too. Bret throws Shawn into the steps and also again hits Jose. We're back in the ring and at the 15 minute mark. Both Vince and Jerry think it's time for the Sharpshooter. Bret hits a suicide dive onto Shawn and that surprisingly doesn't get much of a reaction. Bret hits a German suplex into a bridge and Shawn is able to kick out again. We get more rest holds from Bret as we are now under 10 minutes. We get a double clothesline spot at the 7:38 mark. Bret gets Shawn up to the top rope and hits a superplex. Bret is trying to get a submission move on and settles on a half crab for some reason. Bret goes off the second turnbuckle and Shawn gets his foot up to stop it. Michaels throws Bret into the turnbuckle sternum first. Bret sends Shawn off the ropes and Shawn hits the forearm. Shawn kips up but the camera misses it. Shawn hits a reverse double ax handle off the top rope at the 3 minute mark and Bret kicks out of that. Shawn hits a suplex and then a top rope elbow drop and again only gets a 2 count. Shawn hits a gutwrench sit down powerbomb. He climbs up top and hits a moonsault and Bret kicks out of that. The crowd is starting to get into this now. Shawn climbs up again but Bret catches him by his legs and slaps on the Sharpshooter with 30 seconds left. The crowd is on their feet here and starts counting down. Shawn never gives up and the bell rings. Earl gives Bret his title but Gorilla is now in the ring and talking to him. Bret is heading to the back and then Fink gets on the mic and says that this match has been ordered to continue under sudden death rules. Bret is understandably not happy with that decision, especially since he had him in his finisher. The bell rings and we are underway. Bret sends Shawn in the corner. He leaps over Bret and hits him with Sweet Chin Music and both men are down. Both men are up and Shawn hits him again with Sweet Chin Music and that's it, the boyhood dream has come true. We then get the infamous "get out of the ring" moment from Shawn so he can celebrate. This match is one of the few that I can say is both overrated and underrated at the same time. Lately there has been so much hate for this match and it's not really justified. However, there are glaring issues as well. I think this match would have worked a lot better if there was a heel involved. I think that would have helped the slower parts be a little bit more interesting. This also would have been a lot more successful if they would have done a 1-1 or 2-2 tie into overtime. With that being said, I do enjoy this match a lot. I would have liked a quicker pace in the early moments to ease into the slower parts, but other than that, this is a really good match. It's also not a match that I revisit very often just due to its length. It's not for everyone, but these are two amazing performers who put on a unique match in the biggest spot available at the time. 

Match Rating: ****

For me, this is the most underrated WrestleMania. It gets a lot of hate, but I still enjoy this show 30 years later. The Diesel/Undertaker match delivered as a co-main event and had a really good build. The six man tag match was a lot of fun. Ultimate Warrior did his thing. The Austin/Vega match gave us a hint of what was to come. The Piper/Goldust thing added some chaos to the show. We got to watch the two best wrestlers in the company actually wrestle. I'll forever be in the minority here and that's okay. Thumbs up. 

Overall Rating: 79%