Royal Rumble 1997 Review

Sunday, January 19th, 1997
Alamodome
San Antonio, Texas

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

The hype video only talks about Shawn Michaels, just in case you were wondering who was winning tonight. We get some pyro and an impressive shot of the big crowd tonight. We have some crappy audio, as is the usual here on WWF pay per view. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

It's definitely pretty interesting that just a year ago, the heel Goldust probably hit its peak at the Royal Rumble beating Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental Championship and now they are trying to boost his face turn at the same event for the same title. After a lengthy hype video, Helmsley makes his entrance with Mr. Hughes for the first time. Hughes does such a great job as his bodyguard that Goldust runs right down the aisle and attacks him and he just stands there. Goldust hits a catapult that sends Helmsley over the top rope and then Goldust slams the steps on Helmsley and the referee allows it. Helmsley is able to snap Goldust's neck on the top rope and then Vince lets us know that George and Adam were thrown out of the building by security. Vince is very upset about it. The crowd is pretty mild for this one, which isn't a good sign. They did have 3 matches prior to this, all featuring wrestlers not on WWF television, so that probably didn't help much either. Helmsley throws Goldust into the ring post and Mr. Hughes continues to just stand there. Helmsley misses with a knee and hits the railing and Goldust kicks out the same knee. Once again, Goldust gets away with using the steps, this time on the knees. This match is starting to get into too long territory, a Triple H staple. Goldust drops Helmsley on his knee into the step and Vince defends it by saying it's the Royal Rumble. Goldust goes up top until Helmsley crotches him. He goes up for a superplex but Goldust shoves him off and then misses with an elbow drop. We get shenanigans with Mr. Hughes and it backfires, allowing Goldust to hit Helmsley in the face with the title belt. Hughes is able to pull Helmsley out of the ring to avoid the pin. Helmsley attacks Goldust from behind, hits the Pedigree and picks up the victory. They could have easily shaved 5 minutes off that one, but it did build to something that mattered. 

Match Rating: **3/4

We hear from Bret Hart and Mankind talking about the Rumble match later on. 

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed runs into the ring and starts wailing away on Faarooq. Ahmed starts using Faarooq's belt and the referee allows it, leading to JR's "government mule" line. Ahmed throws Faarooq into the steps, although Faarooq doesn't do much of a job running into them. Faarooq uses one of his cronies to shift the momentum and then body slams Ahmed's kidney onto the top of the chair. Faarooq slows things down but the crowd is more invested in this match than the opener. Ahmed makes his comeback and the crowd is here for it. Faarooq sends in the Nation and the ref calls for the bell. Well, that's about as unsatisfying of an ending as you could get considering how long we had to wait for these two to go at it. Faarooq retreats to the back but one of the Nation guys gets a Pearl River Plunge through the French announce table. That spot would be used quite a bit in highlights. This was going along pretty good until the abrupt ending. It's disappointing that Ahmed didn't end up with a better run because the fans really did respond to him. 

Match Rating: **

We hear from Terry Funk talking about how he's from Texas and ready to rumble. Todd Pettengill is back with the Nation and is sporting a buzz cut and goatee. Faarooq yells at a couple of his Nation members and gives a quick, but effective promo. 

Vader vs. Undertaker

We are now 3 for 3 on matches starting before the bell with Undertaker attacking Vader. Taker is in control until he goes for Old School and Vader counters it and Taker takes a spill. They go to Todd who is with a young fan that saved her babysitting money to follow Shawn Michaels around. They really did that during this match? I can promise that there will be plenty of time for that during the AAA match. The announcers speculate about Jim Cornette's absence, wondering if he and Vader are no longer associated. Taker misses with an elbow drop and Vader continues to be a step ahead of Taker. Vader goes off the second rope and Taker catches him for a powerslam. Vader comes back and hits a powerbomb and naturally Taker kicks out at 2 and is back on his feet. Vader misses with a clothesline an Taker snaps back with his leaping variation. Taker goes for Old School again and this time it works. Paul Bearer is now out and Taker hits a chokeslam. Taker clotheslines Vader over the top rope and then attacks Bearer. Bearer is thrown in the ring and does his over the top schtick. Vader tries to attack from behind, but it doesn't work and gets clotheslined over the top again. Taker runs and leaps off the steel steps but Bearer moves Vader out of the way and Taker crashes into the guardrail. Bearer leaps off the apron and hits Taker with the urn behind the referee's back. Vader puts him in the corner and hits the Vader Bomb for the surprising victory. I didn't get to watch this one live, but was in a WWF chat room to get results and was really shocked when people said he won. The match itself was a little disappointing, but I loved seeing Vader finally get some love. 

Match Rating: **

After the match, Undertaker realizes what happened and he chokeslams the referee. 

They show Steve Austin walking through the back cutting a promo before telling the camera to cut. British Bulldog cuts a promo bringing his luggage into the arena and says he'll win because he's "bizarre". Legendary stuff.

Fuerza Guerrera, Heavy Metal & Jerry Estrada vs. Canek, Hector Garza & Perro Aguayo

I remember wanting to see this match really badly, thinking we were getting the WWF variation of Rey Mysterio and Psicosis. Boy, was I wrong. We do get a pretty decent start to the match and the crowd could not care less. I'm sorry, but I don't feel like calling this match and remembering which guy is which. Garza is the only one who looks like he maybe would have had a shot in WWF. It really is amazing that you have all these people in San Antonio and it seems like not one of them has ever heard of any of these guys. He hits a decent looking corkscrew dive off the top rope to the floor. Aguayo, who looks like he's 65, hits a stomp off the top rope and picks up the win to put this match out of its misery. To be fair, these guys had little to no chance of succeeding with this audience and that's a tough spot to be in. It also wasn't very good. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Fink announces the attendance as 60,477 and then they show a section with a bunch of empty seats. A lot of people realized it was a great time to use the restroom. 

Royal Rumble Match

We get some pyro and then the Nation of Domination's music hits. #1 is Crush. That can only mean one thing, #2 is Ahmed Johnson. They booked the Ahmed/Faarooq appropriately in order for this to make sense, but it definitely takes away from the excitement of this spot. Then again, anything with Crush lacks excitement no matter how you book it. With no countdown timer, out of nowhere, we see Fake Razor Ramon just walk out and Vince lets us know that they are having issues with the clock. Razor lasts about 10 seconds before getting dumped out by Ahmed. That was the only right choice there. Ahmed then decides to chase after Faarooq and eliminates himself. It's time for #4 and the terrible fake hillbilly music for Phineas Godwinn. The roster still needed some help here. With the clock still not working, Steve Austin's music hits and he seemingly gets no pop. It's just so odd to hear that music and it not be followed by a large ovation. This no clock nonsense is a real buzzkill and is something I forgot about. Phineas eliminates Crush and then Austin hits a Stunner on Phineas and dumps him out. Out comes Bart Gunn at #6. Bart messes up a Rocker Dropper and then gets clotheslined over the top and Austin starts doing some pushups, which gets a pop. We also get the famous "Austin looking at his wrist tape" stop. Out comes Jake Roberts with no vest at #7. He goes right to work on Austin and the snake is in the bag in the middle of the ring. Out comes British Bulldog at #8 and because of his entrance, we miss Roberts getting eliminated. They build on the mini feud we have been having between these two here. The clock is working and we get Pierroth to dead silence at #9. Apparently Dok Hendrix had him in his top 10 contenders. He and Bulldog work on Austin and now it's time for the Sultan to conclude the first 1/3rd of the entrants at #10. This match desperately needs a babyface and no, I did not mean Mil Mascaras, who comes out at #11. The crowd does react to him though, so that's a good sign. He is probably most famous now for his "No yob" from Bruce Prichard. Hunter Hearst Helmsley is #12 and he for some reason jogs to the ring and then goes after Bulldog. Bulldog then clotheslines Sultan over the top and he's gone. Now we finally get someone good in here with Owen Hart at lucky #13. Bulldog is trying to eliminate Austin and Owen tries to help, but instead Bulldog gets dumped and he is not happy about it. Goldust is #14 in another obvious choice. They show the replay of Owen eliminating Bulldog and it looks to be on purpose. #15 is Cibernetico and apparently is only 20 years old and Marc Mero is #16 with Sable. While Mero is coming out, Cibernetico is out. Mascaras goes up to the top rope and leaps to Cibernetico on the floor and is eliminated, hence the "No yob". Goldust messes up a clothesline spot with Helmsley and then re-does it to get him eliminated. Latin Lover is out at #17 and gets a little bit of a spot upon his entrance before we go back to the normal stuff. Owen is able to dump Goldust out and we now have Faarooq at #18. It also is kind of weird to see the wrestlers entering the ring from the right side for the Rumble. Austin and Faarooq start brawling and then Ahmed comes out with a super 2 x 4 and the crowd loves it. Faarooq eliminates himself to escape Ahmed. Austin then gets both Owen and Marc Mero out, leaving Austin by himself. Austin's old rival is out next at #19 and the announce team reminds us of the Caribbean Strap match from last year. Savio hits the big spinning heel kick but then Austin quickly turns things around and gets Savio out. Up next is #20 and it is Jesse James. Austin gets rid of him like the trash his character is. At #21 is Bret Hart and here we go! After some brawling, we get our comedy spot of the match because Jerry Lawler is #22. He goes in the ring and is immediately punched out of the ring by Bret. Oh good, it's Fake Diesel at #23. #24 is Terry Funk, who doesn't get much of a response. There is a group of people that walk through the crowd with a Terry sign though, so that's cool. Rocky Maivia is in at #25 and adds a little pep to the ring. Mankind is your 26th entrant tonight. Flash Funk is out at #27 and it already feels like this character is dead, which is a shame. At #28, it's time, it's Vader time. He had his biggest win of his WWF run about an hour ago and he goes right for Bret Hart. #29 is Henry Godwinn and we have to listen to the awful generic hillbilly music again. I do love me some Henry, so this is a good addition. He hits a huge clothesline on Vader, which is surprising that they let that happen, but I'm down for it. Your #30 entrant is of course, the Undertaker. Taker is able to use his strength to get Godwinn out of there. Mankind uses the Mandible Claw to remove Rocky out of the ring and that just makes me realize that Fake Diesel is still in there. Mankind suplexes Funk to the floor and barely hangs on himself. Taker then eliminates Mankind and he starts brawling with Funk. Bret launches Austin over the top rope, but since the referees were breaking up the Funk/Mankind brawl, Austin comes back in the ring. He gets rid of Vader and Undertaker at the same time. Somewhere in there Fake Diesel was eliminated too. Austin gets rid of Bret and the referees announce Austin as the winner. Bret is absolutely livid and starts yelling at the referee. As much as I love all of this, it is really easy to poke holes in the logic since everyone saw what happened. Bret starts yelling at Vince before cursing his way to the back. This is kind of a hard match to rate. The pacing was good and the Austin run was extremely memorable, but outside of that, there weren't many other notable moments. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

It's time for a Sid/Shawn Michaels hype video. We also see an interview from Superstars with Shawn before we see Shawn and Jose Lothario walking backstage. Sid also gets the backstage walk shot, which is a nice touch for this match. 

WWF Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

They go face to chin and Sid shoves him down a couple of times before going to work. Out of the ring they go and Sid throws Shawn into the ring and gets him up in the air, but Shawn uses a thumb to get out of it. Shawn goes up to the top and Sid catches him and hits a powerslam. They show Jose's son in the crowd. Sid puts on the Camel Clutch in the center of the ring. Sid continues to work on the back with Shawn doing his bumping. Shawn tries to make a comeback and Sid nails him with a big clothesline and that gets big boos from the hometown crowd. Sid hits a big leg drop and that gets a 2 count. Shawn makes a comeback and hits the flying forearm. He climbs the top rope and hits the elbow drop to a big pop. He starts to tune up the band and Sid blocks it. Shawn ducks a clothesline and Sid hits a back body drop that sends Shawn to the floor. Sid then hits a powerbomb on the outside of the ring. The referee is knocked down during some of the Lothario nonsense. Sid has Shawn down for the count and the referee is still down. In comes a second referee and he only counts to 2. Sid then shoves the new referee to the ground. You can see Shawn trying to warn Sid and he goes to Jose and Shawn grabs a camera. Shawn nails him a couple of times with the camera and the referee crawls over to make the count but Sid gets the shoulder up just in time. Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music and we have a new champion. This was a much better match than I remembered. We all knew what was going to happen and the crowd was there for the ride. Very solid main event.

Match Rating: ***1/4

Shawn celebrates with the crowd and his biggest fan, Vince. A highlight reel of the show finishes us off and we are all done here in San Antonio. 

I have always liked this show and feel like it's one of those shows that just is fun to watch. It's far from perfect and there isn't that one match on here that you have to see, but it's a good time capsule for this era. 

Overall Rating: 71%