Monday Night Raw 7-10-06 Review

Monday, July 10th, 2006
Tyson Events Center
Sioux City, Iowa

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After a recap of Edge winning the WWE Championship, Edge and Lita are here to join the announce team. 

John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin

Edge will be taking on John Cena at Saturday Night's Main Event this weekend. Cena goes for the FU early, but Shelton gets out and slaps Cena in the face. After a boot to the face, Shelton gets aggressive with some right hands. Shelton locks in the sleeper hold and after a lengthy amount of time in the hold, Cena is able to hit the electric chair. Cena climbs up top, but up leaps Shelton and he hits him with an enzuigiri that knocks Cena to the floor. After the commercial break, Cena gets into a slugfest that he gets the better of and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Shelton misses a splash in the corner, Cena hits the FU and slaps on the STFU for the victory. The commercial break kind of messed with the momentum, but this was more competitive than expected. After the match, Cena attacks Edge by leaping over the announce table. He throws him in the ring, but Lita holds onto his leg and Edge goes on offense. Edge hits the Spear and heads to the back. Edge says that they are going back to the hotel to watch the rest of the show. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Oh great, a recap of DX and Vince from last week.

Eugene is backstage laughing and then Vince and Shane walk up behind him. They tell him that he is facing them in a handicap match to teach DX a lesson.

Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Nitro distracts Trish and Melina attacks her outside the ring. Back in the ring, Melina hits a dropkick to the back for a 2 count. Trish hits the handstand hurricanrana in the corner and hits some chops. Trish hits a spinebuster and almost gets the win. Melina then out of nowhere rolls her up, grabs the tights and steals the victory. This was too short to be anything memorable. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go to Edge and Lita checking in at the hotel. Their room isn't ready yet, so Edge mocks them with a hillbilly accent. 

Highlanders vs. Matt Striker & Rob Conway

The Highlanders are talking about corn and get interrupted by Striker's music. The Highlanders hit their "comedy" offense and get another easy victory. Nothing to see here. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Ric Flair is with Maria and he says that tonight is all business. He is going to tell the world the truth about Mick Foley. After the commercial break, Flair is out to the ring. Foley interrupts him on the Titan Tron. Foley talks about Flair not writing his own book like he did and how Flair was the boss when he lost his ear in a match. He goes on a passionate tirade about how Flair doesn't matter to him any more. Flair tells him to come out here now, but instead Paul Heyman comes out. He shows Flair the clip of Big Show winning the ECW Championship and then brings him out. Show rambles on forever and then finally challenges Flair to an ECW Championship match tomorrow night. Flair accepts and then gets distracted by Heyman, which allows Show to attack him. 

Back to the McMahons and then Eugene knocks on the door and apologizes. They give him a present and it's a DX shirt. While he's talking about how much he likes it, they dump green paint on him and then attack him. Shane then gives him a swirly in the toilet. 

They show Paul Heyman talking with Candice Michelle during the break and he invites her to dance against Kelly. She says she'd rather dance with Kelly.

Viscera vs. Charlie Haas

Haas doesn't even get an entrance here. I can't believe this story is still going on. Haas is able to slow down the big man by snapping his neck on the top rope. He hits a missile dropkick, but Vis fights back and gyrates in the direction of Lillian Garcia. He misses Haas in the corner, but then Garcia gets on the mic and pleads for them to both stop. She only wants to be friends with both of them. Haas attacks Vis in the eyes, but then Garcia gets in the way of him off the ropes. Vis, who is apparently blinded, hits the Samoan drop accidentally on Garcia. They both check on her and then look at each other and laugh. Thrilling television here. Meanwhile, we get a stretcher job. This match was nothing. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Edge and Lita are shown in the bar at the hotel. 

The Miz is out for the Diva Search and he screws up massively here with how to vote. Ironically, the first woman to walk out is none other than future wife Maryse. All of the women get a chance to tell everyone why they're going to win. Maryse gets booed when she screws up as well. Miz announces that they will be doing it on SmackDown and then Miz screws up voting again. 

Shane tells Coach to let him know as soon as DX shows up. In walks Jim Duggan to confront him and he tells him that he'll beat some respect into him. Vince hits him in the back with a chair and they mock him as he is laid out. 

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

They're in rush mode now, as Orton is already almost to the ring when we come back from commercial. He has a mic and talks about Hulk Hogan being at Saturday Night's Main Event. He says that he plans on introducing himself to Hogan. Orton hits the RKO and gets the win. He grabs the mic again and says that he also plans on introducing himself to Brooke Hogan too. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Back to Edge and Lita, this time in their room. They get their room service delivered and they then demand that the staff member bring them champagne since this is a celebration.

After they run through the SNME card, they show Cena busting in their hotel room and attacking Edge. 

This new voice announcing the matches coming up next is just weird. 

Handicap Match
Shane & Vince McMahon vs. Eugene

As Eugene is coming out, the Spirit Squad come out. The distraction allows Shane to attack him and we're underway. Vince is doing live commentary during the match. The Spirit Squad puts Eugene on a table and Shane is up top. Out comes DX to interrupt. Vince tries to get them to get them to go in a certain spot, but those clever DX boys are just too smart for that. The net drops and misses. Eugene comes in from behind and rolls up Vince for the victory. Half of the match was DX walking around the stage. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

On the bright side, this was an improvement over last week. Unfortunately, just about everything would have been. There definitely was some good here. The Cena/Shelton match was solid and the Foley portion of the Flair segment was entertaining. Everything else was pretty much useless.

Overall Rating: 42%

NXT 7-17-14 Review

Original Airdate: Thursday, July 17th, 2014
Full Sail University
Winter Park, Florida

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Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Vaudevillains

This is the first time in a long time that Enzo and Cass have teamed up due to Enzo's injury. Aiden English works on the arm of Enzo to start. Enzo is able to fight out and make a tag to Cass and he overpowers English. In comes Gotch and he suffers the same fate. Cass does the S-A-W-F-T chant, but then out comes Sylvester Lefort and it distracts Cass, allowing Gotch to roll him up and get the victory. They weren't having a good match, but they also never really got a chance to get going. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

The Ascension cut a promo about no one being able to stop them or something.

They show a recap of the Charlotte/Summer Rae storyline.

CJ Parker vs. Xavier Woods

Woods hits a dropkick early on and tries to work on the arm. Woods ducks some clotheslines and hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Parker throws Woods to the ground and Woods hits the bottom rope with his throat. Parker hits a clothesline and follows up with some left hands. Woods is able to make a comeback and hits a kick from the apron. He hits a DDT, but Parker kicks out at 2. Woods misses a crossbody off the top rope, Parker misses a heel kick, but Parker is able to roll up Woods. He was supposed to grab the ropes, but he was too far away, so he gets the clean victory. They packed a lot of match into a couple of minutes, but why not just have them wrestle a few minutes longer?

Match Rating: *3/4

Sami Zayn is backstage for an interview to talk about Tyson Kidd. He says that he's going to embarrass him tonight.

Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

We're only 23 minutes into the show and we're on our third match. Bliss hits a sunset flip for a 2 count, but then gets hit with a knee to the midsection immediately after. Sasha hits the double knees to the midsection while Bliss is on the ropes. Bliss goes for a somersault off the top rope, but rolls through when Sasha moves out of the way. This leads to Sasha putting on the Bank Statement and a victory. Again, this was too short, which tends to be a theme here on NXT.

Match Rating: *1/4

Tyler Breeze says that he isn't going to rush to face Adrian Neville for the NXT Championship. He says that his agent is working on the contract for the match and says that instead we will see his award winning music video again. 

They show highlights of how Kidd won his match last night. They try to talk to Natalya, but she doesn't want to talk about. They go to Tyson Kidd and he doesn't want to talk about his wife. He said accidents happen, but when he beats Sami tonight, it won't be an accident.

Adam Rose vs. Jason Jordan

This is Rose's first match in NXT since TakeOver. Jason Jordan gets an entrance and a bubble promo saying that his partner Tye Dillinger is hurt, but also was last seen with the Rosebuds. Jordan gets a little bit of offense in after Rose goofs around a bit. Rose hits a leaping 2nd rope hurricanrana, which I don't remember ever seeing him hit before. He hits the Party Foul and that's all. This one got about as much time as the last couple matches, but didn't do as much with it. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Kalisto gets a rare backstage interview, but quickly gets interrupted by the Vaudevillains. He said his partner El Local and him have parted ways. Kalisto says he'll find a new partner to face the Vaudevillains next week.

Tyson Kidd vs. Sami Zayn

After some stalling, Kidd dominates the match after a suplex on the entrance ramp. Kidd puts Sami in the tree of woe and hits the running dropkick. Zayn is able to knock Kidd out of the ring and hits a springboard moonsault on Kidd on the floor. Back in the ring, Zayn goes up top and hits a crossbody for a 2 count. Kidd hits a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle and hits a leg drop for another 2 count. Kidd goes for the top rope elbow drop, but Sami gets the knees up. He hits the Blue Thunder Bomb and Kidd kicks out. Kidd hits a top rope Blockbuster and this time Sami kicks out. Kidd puts on the Sharpshooter in the center of the ring. Sami gets close to the bottom rope, but Kidd pulls him back to the center. Sami is able to once again crawl and this time reaches the rope. Kidd goes up top, Sami catches him and puts him in the Koji Clutch for the victory. This was a good match between the two and I'm actually a little surprised that Sami won here. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

This was a pretty entertaining episode that tried to cram in more than it had time for. They could have easily just saved one of the other matches for next week and gave more time to either the Sasha or Parker matches. With that being said, NXT continues to deliver consistently solid episodes here in 2014. 

Overall Rating: 60%

Monday Night Raw 7-25-94 Review

Original Airdate: Monday, July 25th, 1994
Fernwood Resort
Bushkill, Pennsylvania

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Guess what? Another Ted DiBiase recap.

$10,000 Challenge Match
Nikolai Volkoff vs. Tatanka

I can't believe Volkoff is still a thing. Volkoff hits approximately 100 kicks in the early going. Tatanka tries to make a comeback, but he gets hit with a reverse elbow. He ducks a clothesline though and hits one of his own and then a dropkick to send Volkoff over the top rope. Back in the ring and Volkoff is kicking again. Tatanka comes back again with some chops and gets a 2 count after a top rope chop. Tatanka gets a small package and gets the victory to put us out of our misery here. Randy Savage quickly comes into the ring to rub it in DiBiase's face that he's losing $10,000. DiBiase says that Tatanka could never beat his Lex Luger, but Tatanka says he could on his worst day. Out comes Luger and they challenge each other to a match. If you like chops and kicks, this one was for you.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Headshrinkers vs. Joey Stallings & Barry Hardy

Samu hits a second rope DDT and then hit a double clothesline. They hit the double Skull Crushing Finale and then the top rope splash for the easy victory. They seemed a little unmotivated here.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it's Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon in a big time match.

Jim Neidhart vs. Jim Powers

Powers is still a jobber despite looking light years better than all of the other ones we usually see. Neidhart sends him flying over the top rope. Powers gets no offense in here for whatever reason and Neidhart puts on the Camel Clutch for the victory.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Jim Ross brings out Alundra Blayze. Remember her? She talks about Luna and Bull Nakano, the latter of which she will be wrestling last week. Out comes Luna and she claims that she's the one who brought Bull to the US and then leaves. Just in case you didn't know, Alundra is a member of the New Generation.

Yokozuna vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb tries a series of clotheslines and then a shoulder tackle to knock Yokozuna out of the ring and we go to a commercial break. Yoko quickly recovers and slows things down. Bomb is able to avoid a splash in the corner. He follows that up with some clotheslines and a DDT. Bomb hits a second rope clothesline and out comes Harvey Wippelman and Kwang. Kwang trips up Bomb's feet behind the ref's back. Bomb goes out of the ring and starts dominating Kwang. Bomb is counted out and Yoko just watches as Bomb throws Wippleman onto Kwang. This was better than most would probably anticipate. 

Match Rating: *

Duke Droese vs. Duane Gill

Droese dominates, as he should. Lawler calls in and rambles on while Droese hits his finisher and I actually dozed off during this match. This was nothing. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Well, next week's show is stacked, but what about this week? This week was filled with mostly things that don't matter, unless you were for some reason hooked on the Million Dollar Corporation. We are starting to trend into one of the WWE's worst stretches and it's starting to show the signs. 

Overall Rating: 43%

Superstars 7-23-94 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, July 23rd, 1994
Ocean City Convention Center
Ocean City, Maryland

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Shawn Michaels tells us that he's going to break some big Ted DiBiase news on the Heartbreak Hotel today. Lawler claims that Luger has officially signed with DiBiase.

Jeff Jarrett vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Superstars match that I can get behind. Neither star really takes control of the match until Jarrett gains control into the commercial break. Kid makes a comeback in front of the always raucous Ocean City crowd. The building doesn't look bad when they are on the standard shot, but the ceiling and walls make it feel like they are at a giant bingo hall. The action spills outside and Kid hits a series of kicks. Kid goes for a clothesline, but Jarrett ducks and Kid hits the post. Both men are counted out and that's about as disappointing as it gets. At least let them go at it for a few more minutes. After the match, Jarrett attacks Kid from behind and hits a good looking piledriver followed by a not as good looking piledriver. Jarrett then calls him yellow and gets cut off to go to the Live Event update. 

Match Rating: **

They show the history of Owen and Bret. 

Jim Neidhart vs. Rich Myers

Neidhart was already 39 years old here in '94, which is pretty close to how old Natalya is in 2022. Neidhart obviously dominates here and gets the easy victory. After the match, he puts Myers in the Camel Clutch and they put Bret's glasses on him. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a pretty hilarious video of Bob Backlund working out. He's ready for Bret Hart next week and will be the next WWF Champion. 

We get Leslie Nielsen dressed up as Undertaker as this whole thing begins. 

Tatanka vs. Austin Steele

Tatanka's heel turn sure seems obvious here. I guess it may not have had I been watching when I was 11, but he is already wrestling more heelish. Steele gets in a reverse elbow, who looks like a dime store version of Ric Flair. Tatanka hits the Samoan Drop for the victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get an Italian restaurtant/mafia commercial for the New Generation. 

It's time for the Heartbreak Hotel. DiBiase talks about backing up his promises and then calls out Lex Luger. Luger eventually comes out and so does Tatanka. Tatanka calls him a sell out, but Luger says that there is no deal. Luger says there isn't enough money to sell out his integrity and he believes in the same things that Tatanka does. Luger walks off and Tatanka says that he can only believe what he saw and he doesn't believe Luger. DiBiase still claims Luger is in the Corporation. 

It's time for a SummerSlam Report. Todd Pettengill announces that Diesel will defend his Intercontinental Championship against Razor Ramon. We get an interview from Razor and he says he takes a chance every chance he gets. We get another Paul Bearer promo and he talks about studying the fake Undertaker. Bret then says that he never dreamed that this whole saga with Owen would get this out of hand. 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tyrone Knox

Bam Bam dominates Knox and hits a vertical suplex. He pulls up Knox on the 2 count to continue the punishment. Bam Bam puts on the Million Dollar Dream and hits a bulldog out of it for the victory. I like the old Bam Bam better. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show DiBiase buying out Johnny Polo's spot on All-American Wrestling. I'm not really sure why they thought it was a great idea to build their whole promotion around a managing DiBiase. They hype up Backlund vs. Bret next week and that's all. 

This was just about everything bad about 1994 in a 45 minute show. I have been on a real cold streak here lately on the blog. This was hardly the worst of the worst, but it was pretty boring. I would have just been happier if they would have let Kid and Jarrett just have a 15 minute match.

Overall Rating: 40%

SmackDown 7-7-06 Review

Original Airdate: Friday, July 7th, 2006
Wachovia Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender Battle Royal

Notable contestants here include Finlay, Matt Hardy, King Booker and Mr. Kennedy. Super Crazy and Psicosis are eliminated first and then start brawling outside the ring. The jobbers start to get eliminated to clear out the ring. Finlay throws Kennedy to London, Kendrick and Hardy and they are able to eliminate him. We're down to the aforementioned three and Finlay, William Regal and Booker. So much for suspense here. London goes for a springboard move after almost being eliminated and eats a forearm that knocks him to the floor. Kendrick is eliminated quickly after. Hardy is able to dump Finlay out, but Booker quickly attacks him. Hardy hits a Side Effect on Booker and he then tries to dump him out. Regal makes the save but then gets hit with a flying forearm. Hardy hits the bulldog on Booker, but gets hit with a sucker punch by Booker. Hardy is able to hit a double clothesline, but still can't eliminate Booker. Regal again saves him. Regal and Hardy are battling on the ropes and Booker eliminates both to become the #1 contender. This was every battle royal you've ever seen. Regal then reminds us to "All hail, King Booker". 

Match Rating: *

Rey Mysterio says that Mark Henry disrespected his friend, Chavo Guerrero and the Guerrero name. They show the attack of Henry and Mysterio apologizes for not being able to help Chavo out. He shifts over to his match with Booker and tells him that he's just one move away from a 619.

Sylvan is here to try to talk people into spending their summer in Quebec. We then go to Miz in the crowd to tell us Batista is here. 

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Super Crazy interrupts Kennedy's ring introduction and Kennedy makes him pay for it. Crazy tries to get something going, but Kennedy hits him with a rear elbow and takes him to the mat. Super Crazy makes another comeback attempt, but Psicosis comes out and throws his sunglasses at him and Kennedy takes him off the top rope. He hits the Kenton Bomb for the victory. This was more dull than you would expect from these two. After the match, Kennedy gets his mic time. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Kristal is supposed to be with Tatanka, but she's complaining about Ashley instead. She realizes the camera is rolling and goes to interview Tatanka. Tatanka says he will take down the Great Khali tonight. I'm sure he will. 

Daivari is backstage with a casket before the commercial break. 

They show clips of the WWE in the Caribbean and Central America. 

Daivari is in the ring with the casket at ringside and brings out Khali. Daivari talks about the first ever Punjabi Prison Match at Great American Bash. Tatanka comes out and he attacks him on the way in the ring. I guess this isn't a match because he hits a double handed chokeslam and they play his music. He goes to put Tatanka in the casket and smoke comes out of it. Undertaker comes on the speaker and tells him he will rest in peace. I didn't care in 2006 and I certainly don't care now. 

Vito vs. Psicosis

I'm surprised this wasn't saved for WrestleMania. We get shenanigans to start off, until Psicosis makes Vito mad. Vito does the Macarena, but gets hit by a boot and a clothesline. This match goes on for way too long until Super Crazy predictably comes out to distract Psicosis. Vito puts on his submission hold and that's all. This was pretty terrible.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Pitbulls vs. Funaki & Scotty 2 Hotty

Kid Kash's trunks here are really ugly. The Pitbulls show off their physicality, but Scotty gets a hot tag and gets in a little bit of offense. It doesn't last long and the Pitbulls hit a clothesline/spear combination for the quick victory. JBL tries his best to make it seem impressive that they beat two former champions. The Pitbulls did look good though. 

Match Rating: *

They run down the Great American Bash card so far and announce that Lashley will defend his United States Championship against William Regal and Finlay. They then go back to Finlay telling Regal that it's every man for himself and Hornswoggle starts humping Regal's leg.

Gregory Helms vs. Bobby Lashley

They hype up the length of Helms' title reign. Meanwhile, Lashley does the British Bulldog vertical suplex. Lashley hits the gorilla press into a powerslam and that is all. That sure made Helms look like a nobody, so congrats on that. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They interview Mark Henry backstage and that he's sick and tired of Batista. He says that if Batista calls him out, he will have the shortest comeback in history. 

We go to Miz in the crowd and yells that he has confirmation that Batista is out next. 

Batista comes out to a big pop and calls out Henry right away. Henry comes out and before he gets into the ring, he says he's going to go back, but out comes Rey Mysterio from behind. Henry chucks him out of the way, but Batista throws him into the steps. He picks up the steps and nails him in the face and Henry is bleeding. I'm not sure if I can remember another time that Henry bled. Batista grabs a chair and hits him multiple times in the back. Batista stands tall as they go off the air.

Well, I'm not sure how they did it, but they did it. They delivered three really bad shows in one arena. I know it's a holiday week and all, but this was just not a good show. The saddest part of it all is that it was better than both Raw and ECW. Other than Batista coming back, there was nothing on this show worth watching.

Overall Rating: 39%

ECW 7-4-06 Review

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
Wachovia Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Paul Heyman is backstage to tell us that Rob Van Dam did lose the WWE Championship, but he is still the ECW Champion. In walks Big Show and he says that he was told if he jumps to ECW, he would get a title shot. Heyman tries to talk him out of it for the time being, but Big Show wants it tonight.

Kelly Kelly is back and dressed in red, white and blue and it's the same old story here. Mike Knox comes out, comes out and brings her to the back.

Mike Knox vs. Little Guido

Knox grabs the mic and says that Kelly is his girlfriend. Guido tries to attack him, but it doesn't work. I really can't believe they did an exclusive ECW show on the 4th of July in Philadelphia and this was the show that they delivered for them. Knox is getting all sorts of chants at him and then misses with a knee drop. Guido attacks the knee, but eats a bicycle kick to the face. He then hits the Knox Out and gets the victory. Just a squash.

Match Rating: 1/4*

RVD is backstage and says to give Show the match tonight. He doesn't want this to be a place where the big guys get to do whatever they want. Heyman doesn't want to, but RVD says if Heyman doesn't, he will.

Some guy dressed up like a priest (but looks nothing like a priest) grabs the mic and insults the crowd for paying for this. He probably has a point this week. He then says he isn't a priest, he just did it so that he could get that off his chest. He then goes back to his seat in the first row. Sandman's music hits and he comes into the ring. He stalls forever before attacking the guy. 

RVD walks into Show's locker room and accepts the challenge.

RVD then talks to Paul and the match is on. It will be Extreme Rules. 

Test vs. Al Snow

Get excited, Test is back. Test attacks Snow, while the crowd tells him that he can't wrestle. He hits the TKO and that's it. After the match, he takes Snow's head and kicks it into the crowd.

Match Rating: 1/4*

The eventual Kevin Thorne is once again outside the arena.

CM Punk then gives a backstage promo about his straight edge ways. 

Extreme Rules Match For The ECW Championship
Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

They quickly start brawling and are into the front row. RVD is able to step up on the barricade and kick Show in the head. He then hits a guillotine leg drop from the apron before the commercial break. Back in the ring, Show hits a superplex from the second rope. Show slows things down with some rest holds. He goes for a chokeslam, but RVD counters it with a DDT. RVD hits Rolling Thunder, but Show easily kicks out of the pin attempt. Show tosses him out of the ring, but when he goes to attack RVD with steps, he trips him up and lands in the steps. RVD goes off the top rope, but Show catches him and rams him into the ring. RVD grabs a chair, but Show swats it down and hits the Chokeslam. RVD kicks out, so Show takes the referee and tosses him out of the ring. Show goes for a powerbomb, but RVD grabs the chair on the way up and hits him in the head. RVD hits the Five Star Frog Splash, but there's no ref. Out comes Heyman and he counts to 2, but then stops counting. Heyman walks out of the ring, but continues to distract RVD. Show hits RVD with a chair to the head and then a Chokeslam on the chair for the victory. Philadelphia really has seen some of the worst booking decisions in WWE history. THe crowd starts throwing trash in the ring as Show and Heyman celebrate. The match was pretty good, but it pretty much instantly killed the brand in the eyes of ECW loyalists. 

Match Rating: **1/2

After the turd of a show they delivered on Raw in this same arena, they come in and delivered another one 24 hours later. Not the best week in WWE.

Overall Rating: 38%

Monday Night Raw 7-3-06 Review

Monday, July 3rd, 2006
Wachovia Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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After a very lengthy recap of last weeks DX segment, we see Triple H and Shawn Michaels are greeted by a wall of security and Jonathan Coachman. He informs them that they are barred from the building. DX leaves with Triple H smiling creepily. 

Edge and Lita are here to talk about RVD and John Cena. He compares himself to Terrell Owens and how badly he wants to get out of Philly. He's about to tell us who his partner tonight will be in the tag team match tonight, but out comes Cena. They start brawling and Cena kicks Edge out of the ring. RVD's music hits and asks Cena if he wants another title shot, let's do it tonight. Edge isn't digging it because if Cena wins, his title shot on ECW tomorrow isn't going to happen. RVD says that we all know that he's going to interfere anyways, so he proposes that they do the Saturday Night's Main Event match tonight. We're getting a triple threat here tonight. For those that don't remember, this was right after RVD and Sabu were pulled over with marijuana, so we got all sorts of changes here on the fly. 

They show Vince showing up in a limo and greeted by Coach. Vince only wants to know that DX is not here. Coach informs him that they were here, but that he told them that he informed them that they were barred from the arena. In the background there is a convertible with women screaming pulling up. 

Lita vs. Torrie Wilson

I can't remember the last time that Lita had a singles match on TV. Lita hits a suplex and a side Russian leg sweep. Torrie fights back with some clotheslines and a dropkick. She goes for the stinkface, but the referee gets it instead. Lita hits a DDT and that's all. Lita looked a little sluggish here, as she tries to get comfortable working as a heel. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Vince is yelling at Coach about lack of staffing and Coach said a lot of people took off for the holiday weekend. Vince has never taken a day off in his life and isn't buying it.

Spirit Squad vs. Eugene, Jim Duggan, Val Venis, Viscera, Snitsky

Well, this is a match that happened. The Spirit Squad singles out Venis in their corner to start. JR talks about this arena being the last televised appearance of Gorilla Monsoon, which I greatly appreciate. Meanwhile, the Squad is now dominating Eugene. Eugene makes a tag to Snitsky and he starts steamrolling Kenny and Nicky. He gets distracted, but hits a sidewalk slam on Kenny for a 2 count. Things start to break down and they dump out most of their opponents. They hit a double suplex on Snitsky and then Kenny and Mikey hits a leg drop/senton combo and get the victory. This was a pretty dominating victory for the Spirit Squad, which was fairly rare. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get DX on the Titan Tron and they are having a party out in the parking lot. One of the bus drivers comes up for some food and Triple H has two girls flash him. 

Matt Striker & Rob Conway vs. Highlanders

This is the debut of the Highlanders. Conway and Striker are getting the rare TV match here. They hit lots of headbutts, punches and kicks. How dare I forget the skirt humor. Conway hits a back suplex and tries to tag in Striker, but he refuses. He says that he's too smart to tag in. Rory hits a back body drop and they hit the Scot Drop for the victory. The Bushwhackers 2000 are just so unorthodox. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Candice Michelle comes up to Triple H. This leads to some terrible sexual humor. 

They then go in the TV truck, which is cooler just because we hardly ever got to see this. Shawn then pushes a button he was told not to push. It messes up the screen. Hilarious. 

Vince has to go to the bathroom and asks Coach to guard it. Shawn and Triple H are in the truck and go to the bathroom cam. Vince is peeing and in walks Coach and Vince turns to him and pees on him. Coach informs him that he's on TV right now. He storms away mad. Hilarious.

Vince is in the ring when we come back from break. Vince's microphone keeps cutting out, so he grabs a new one and that one has feedback. His mic then gives him a chipmunk voice. I can't believe I'm able to type since I am laughing so hard. Oh wait, I forgot the fart sounds. Triple H then shows clips of him from last week. Coach tries to get into the truck, but Shawn knocks him off the steps when he opens the door. Vince then announces that DX is facing the Spirit Squad (again) in an elimination match. They play the "Stand Back" video again and Vince storms away. This was a death segment. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito

Nitro fakes getting a thumb to the eye and uses the distraction to attack Carlito. Carlito comes back with a hurricanrana, but that's about all he gets in. Nitro gets in a little bit of offense, but Carlito makes a quick comeback. Melina distracts Carlito, but it backfires and he hits a Backstabber on Nitro. Melina breaks up the count and gets disqualified. Out comes Trish Stratus to wake up the crowd and they start brawling. Trish knocks her off the apron and then DX replays Trish running down to the ring over and over. This match was nothing. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

RVD is back with Paul Heyman and Heyman is telling him that the odds are against them tonight. RVD believes in himself and ECW. Apparently he didn't believe in the law though. 

We get to meet the Diva Search contestants including Maryse and Layla. 

Vince wants to leave. So do I. 

Umaga vs. Scott Wright

DX interrupts Armando Alejandro Estrada's speech with a shirt ad. Umaga has his usual squash match and they really need to find him a story he can get people invested in. Armando tries to talk again and gets interrupted by belching sounds. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Vince is shown getting into his limo and a bunch of fireworks go off in the limo and then a green smoke comes out. Vince comes out covered in black and coughing. DX walks up and says that it's too bad they were barred from the building. 

Batista is back Friday. 

Out comes Randy Orton and as if this episode isn't bad enough, he brings up going on a date with Brooke Hogan. 

Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship 
Edge vs. John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

I promise you they could have just had this match go on 20 minutes longer than it's going to get here and people would have been a lot happier than they were with the crap we got here. RVD and Cena take turns beating up Edge and then throw him out of the ring into the commercial break. Edge sneaks in and tries to pin RVD, but has his feet on the ropes. Unfortunately for Edge, this makes no sense because there are no disqualifications in this match, so it should have counted. Cena has Edge up for a suplex and RVD comes off the top rope with a crossbody. That looked like that probably hurt RVD the most. Edge and Cena then slam down RVD and then Edge and Cena hit a double clothesline. Cena hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle on Edge and then FU's him over the top rope. He hits the FU on Lita, but then eats a chair to the face from a RVD kick. Cena hits the FU on RVD and Edge runs in and nails Cena and pins Cena to once again become the WWE Champion. If I remember right, I believe everyone assumed Cena would win here, but instead they made Edge's career with this decision. Yes, the cash in earlier in the year was the big moment, but this was the one that cemented him as a real player. This was a good match even if it had a few weird psychology screw ups. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

A good main event did not make up for the other 80 minutes of this turd of a show. Absolutely horrific. This is probably the worst Raw to ever have a major title change on it. 

Overall Rating: 30%