Monday, July 3rd, 2006
Wachovia Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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After a very lengthy recap of last weeks DX segment, we see Triple H and Shawn Michaels are greeted by a wall of security and Jonathan Coachman. He informs them that they are barred from the building. DX leaves with Triple H smiling creepily.
Edge and Lita are here to talk about RVD and John Cena. He compares himself to Terrell Owens and how badly he wants to get out of Philly. He's about to tell us who his partner tonight will be in the tag team match tonight, but out comes Cena. They start brawling and Cena kicks Edge out of the ring. RVD's music hits and asks Cena if he wants another title shot, let's do it tonight. Edge isn't digging it because if Cena wins, his title shot on ECW tomorrow isn't going to happen. RVD says that we all know that he's going to interfere anyways, so he proposes that they do the Saturday Night's Main Event match tonight. We're getting a triple threat here tonight. For those that don't remember, this was right after RVD and Sabu were pulled over with marijuana, so we got all sorts of changes here on the fly.
They show Vince showing up in a limo and greeted by Coach. Vince only wants to know that DX is not here. Coach informs him that they were here, but that he told them that he informed them that they were barred from the arena. In the background there is a convertible with women screaming pulling up.
Lita vs. Torrie Wilson
I can't remember the last time that Lita had a singles match on TV. Lita hits a suplex and a side Russian leg sweep. Torrie fights back with some clotheslines and a dropkick. She goes for the stinkface, but the referee gets it instead. Lita hits a DDT and that's all. Lita looked a little sluggish here, as she tries to get comfortable working as a heel.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Vince is yelling at Coach about lack of staffing and Coach said a lot of people took off for the holiday weekend. Vince has never taken a day off in his life and isn't buying it.
Spirit Squad vs. Eugene, Jim Duggan, Val Venis, Viscera, Snitsky
Well, this is a match that happened. The Spirit Squad singles out Venis in their corner to start. JR talks about this arena being the last televised appearance of Gorilla Monsoon, which I greatly appreciate. Meanwhile, the Squad is now dominating Eugene. Eugene makes a tag to Snitsky and he starts steamrolling Kenny and Nicky. He gets distracted, but hits a sidewalk slam on Kenny for a 2 count. Things start to break down and they dump out most of their opponents. They hit a double suplex on Snitsky and then Kenny and Mikey hits a leg drop/senton combo and get the victory. This was a pretty dominating victory for the Spirit Squad, which was fairly rare.
Match Rating: 1/2*
We get DX on the Titan Tron and they are having a party out in the parking lot. One of the bus drivers comes up for some food and Triple H has two girls flash him.
Matt Striker & Rob Conway vs. Highlanders
This is the debut of the Highlanders. Conway and Striker are getting the rare TV match here. They hit lots of headbutts, punches and kicks. How dare I forget the skirt humor. Conway hits a back suplex and tries to tag in Striker, but he refuses. He says that he's too smart to tag in. Rory hits a back body drop and they hit the Scot Drop for the victory. The Bushwhackers 2000 are just so unorthodox.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Candice Michelle comes up to Triple H. This leads to some terrible sexual humor.
They then go in the TV truck, which is cooler just because we hardly ever got to see this. Shawn then pushes a button he was told not to push. It messes up the screen. Hilarious.
Vince has to go to the bathroom and asks Coach to guard it. Shawn and Triple H are in the truck and go to the bathroom cam. Vince is peeing and in walks Coach and Vince turns to him and pees on him. Coach informs him that he's on TV right now. He storms away mad. Hilarious.
Vince is in the ring when we come back from break. Vince's microphone keeps cutting out, so he grabs a new one and that one has feedback. His mic then gives him a chipmunk voice. I can't believe I'm able to type since I am laughing so hard. Oh wait, I forgot the fart sounds. Triple H then shows clips of him from last week. Coach tries to get into the truck, but Shawn knocks him off the steps when he opens the door. Vince then announces that DX is facing the Spirit Squad (again) in an elimination match. They play the "Stand Back" video again and Vince storms away. This was a death segment.
Intercontinental Championship Match
Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito
Nitro fakes getting a thumb to the eye and uses the distraction to attack Carlito. Carlito comes back with a hurricanrana, but that's about all he gets in. Nitro gets in a little bit of offense, but Carlito makes a quick comeback. Melina distracts Carlito, but it backfires and he hits a Backstabber on Nitro. Melina breaks up the count and gets disqualified. Out comes Trish Stratus to wake up the crowd and they start brawling. Trish knocks her off the apron and then DX replays Trish running down to the ring over and over. This match was nothing.
Match Rating: 1/2*
RVD is back with Paul Heyman and Heyman is telling him that the odds are against them tonight. RVD believes in himself and ECW. Apparently he didn't believe in the law though.
We get to meet the Diva Search contestants including Maryse and Layla.
Vince wants to leave. So do I.
Umaga vs. Scott Wright
DX interrupts Armando Alejandro Estrada's speech with a shirt ad. Umaga has his usual squash match and they really need to find him a story he can get people invested in. Armando tries to talk again and gets interrupted by belching sounds.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Vince is shown getting into his limo and a bunch of fireworks go off in the limo and then a green smoke comes out. Vince comes out covered in black and coughing. DX walks up and says that it's too bad they were barred from the building.
Batista is back Friday.
Out comes Randy Orton and as if this episode isn't bad enough, he brings up going on a date with Brooke Hogan.
Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship
Edge vs. John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam
I promise you they could have just had this match go on 20 minutes longer than it's going to get here and people would have been a lot happier than they were with the crap we got here. RVD and Cena take turns beating up Edge and then throw him out of the ring into the commercial break. Edge sneaks in and tries to pin RVD, but has his feet on the ropes. Unfortunately for Edge, this makes no sense because there are no disqualifications in this match, so it should have counted. Cena has Edge up for a suplex and RVD comes off the top rope with a crossbody. That looked like that probably hurt RVD the most. Edge and Cena then slam down RVD and then Edge and Cena hit a double clothesline. Cena hits a Five Knuckle Shuffle on Edge and then FU's him over the top rope. He hits the FU on Lita, but then eats a chair to the face from a RVD kick. Cena hits the FU on RVD and Edge runs in and nails Cena and pins Cena to once again become the WWE Champion. If I remember right, I believe everyone assumed Cena would win here, but instead they made Edge's career with this decision. Yes, the cash in earlier in the year was the big moment, but this was the one that cemented him as a real player. This was a good match even if it had a few weird psychology screw ups.
Match Rating: ***1/4
A good main event did not make up for the other 80 minutes of this turd of a show. Absolutely horrific. This is probably the worst Raw to ever have a major title change on it.
Overall Rating: 30%
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