Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Off The Grid, Volume 20: WrestleMania III Review

Sunday, March 29th, 1987
Pontiac Silverdome
Pontiac, Michigan

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

Off The Grid, Volume 20:

Vince McMahon is in the ring and welcomes us to WrestleMania III. He then introduces Aretha Franklin to sing "America The Beautiful". This really is a fantastic performance by Aretha. We then go to Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Mary Hart and Bob Uecker. 

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco & Bob Orton

The Can-Am Connection starts off hot and hits a double monkey flip on Muraco. In comes Orton and he gets hit with a body slam by Rick Martel. I will say, seeing the Silverdome will always bring back such great memories for me. I was too young at the time to even know what WrestleMania was. I got into wrestling about 3 1/2 years later at SummerSlam 1990. All four men end up in the ring and it leads to Muraco accidentally hitting a back body drop on Orton and Martel hits a high cross body on Muraco and gets the victory. This was very okay. I hate the way that they announce the winners during this era. It just all feels so unimportant. 

Match Rating: **

We get a Hercules/Billy Jack Haynes highlight package and Hercules tells us that we'll find out who the master of the Full Nelson is. 

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

I'm pretty sure this is the only match of Haynes's that I've ever seen. I do have to say that he is a good sized dude. Did Hercules ever win a meaningful match? Why is this one of the longest matches on the card? I have more questions than I have things to say about the actual match. After some sluggish offense, Hercules tries to lock in the Full Nelson. He can't get the fingers locked, but Haynes is still fading. Haynes fights back up to his feet and breaks the hold. They hit a double clothesline and are both down for the count. Haynes is able to slap on the Full Nelson, but they both fall out of the ring. Haynes puts is on again outside the ring and they both get counted out. That's a WrestleMania finish if I ever saw one. This match was about as dull as it gets. Hercules grabs the chains and hits Haynes in the back. He continues the attack and Haynes is bleeding. He puts on the Full Nelson and throws him to the mat. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Mean Gene is with King Kong Bundy and he's going to squash his opponents. We then go to Mean Gene and Hillbilly Jim, who is worried about his buddies. 

King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook vs. Hillbilly Jim, Little Beaver & Haiti Kid

I really hate the fake music they use for Hillbilly Jim. It is pretty amazing that Bundy went from the main event to pretty much standing on the apron as a spectator for this match. He does eventually get tagged in, but Beaver hits a dropkick on him and then tags in Hillbilly. Hillbilly hits a clothesline and all three of them jump on him, but Bundy still kicks out. I'm pretty sure Braun Strowman would be treated like Braun Strowman in modern day times. We get some more cheating from the babyface side to try and slow down Bundy. Bundy body slams Beaver behind the referee's back, but he sees the elbow drop and that's a disqualification. He tries to splash him, but the little people all get in the way of it. This was too short to be anything and they really didn't even sell the Bundy moment as much as they should have. Meanwhile, one of the producers is telling the guys to hurry up. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Mary Hart is with Miss Elizabeth, but before she can get a word in, she is interrupted by Randy Savage. Hart does a nice job here. 

We see some highlights of the Harley Race/Junkyard Dog feud. Mean Gene is with Harley, Fabulous Moolah and Bobby Heenan. Heenan gives the crown to Moolah and tells her to give it to him after the match.

Junkyard Dog is now with Mean Gene and says that Race has been sitting on the throne for too long.

Loser Must Bow Match
Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Both guys were nowhere near their prime for this match. Race goes for a headbutt off the apron, but JYD moves and he goes splat. JYD clotheslines him back into the ring and then sends him right back out. Gorilla critiques JYD's abdominal stretch and Race is able to get out. Race yet again gets sent out of the ring. We now get the dog headbutts, but Bobby Heenan distracts JYD. Race hits a belly-to-belly suplex and gets the victory. There's no way you can tell me that was even a good finish in 1987. The actual match was slightly better than I remembered until the abrupt finish. Race gets in the chair and robe and JYD curtsies. JYD then grabs the chair and hits Race in the back. JYD then leaves in the mini ring cart with the robe on. 

Match Rating: *

Vince is with Hulk Hogan. He talks something about Harley's and mountains or something. 

The Dream Team says nothing in their interview. 

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Seeing the Rougeaus as babyfaces is just weird to me. They hit a double dropkick on Beefcake and he tags in Valentine. It should be noted that historical favorite, Dino Bravo, is on the outside with Johnny Valiant. Jacques misses with a crossbody and Valentine capitalizes on it. They hit a fairly innovative move with Beefcake holding Raymond in a press slam and Valentine hitting him off the top rope before Beefcake hits a backbreaker. In walks Heenan to brag about being 2-0 so far tonight even though Hercules didn't win. Then Gorilla calls him out for the Bundy match, but Heenan says it doesn't count because he wasn't out there. The Rougeaus hit their finisher, but Beefcake comes in and brawls with Jacques. The ref is distracted and Dino hits Raymond and they pick up the cheap victory. Valentine, Dino and Valiant leave Beefcake behind, which is the only reason this match existed. This was another short match with an unsatisfying finish. 

Match Rating: *1/2

They show highlights of the Roddy Piper/Adrian Adonis feud, which involves a lot of Jimmy Hart getting beat up. 

They show Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart with Mean Gene. Adonis gives an enjoyable hyperactive promo. These are all way too short to give them any chance to really say anything, but this was probably the best one so far. 

Hair Match
Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper

Piper of course announced his retirement before this match. It was a real disservice that he would never, ever wrestle again. Piper has a belt and he uses it right away, which of course the ref allows allows. Adonis is able to get the belt and starts whipping Piper. Gorilla wants the belt taken away because Piper didn't use it as long. Piper fights back and gives them a double noggin knocker and then throws Hart into Adonis, sending them over the top rope. He then throws Hart off the top rope and onto Adonis. Hart is doing a fantastic job here getting tossed around. Hart trips up Piper and slows him down. Adonis goes to work and slams him into the timekeeper table. Hart also gets in a cheap shot. Hart sprays more of the perfume in Piper's face and Adonis puts on the sleeper hold. Piper tries driving Adonis into the turnbuckles, but Adonis still keeps the hold on. Adonis thinks he's won the match, but the ref says no. Out comes Brutus Beefcake and wakes up Piper. Piper slaps on his sleeper and the crowd goes nuts. Adonis is out and this one is over. Beefcake starts buzzing Adonis's head while Piper messes around with Hart. After the haircut, Piper holds up a mirror and Adonis punches it and snaps. He leaves the ring with Hart's jacket over his head. This was a master class in how to be a small heel manager in a big match. They had a hot crowd and did a lot with the short amount of time they were given. This is the first true highlight of the show. 

Match Rating: ***

Gorilla, Mary and Bob are talking about Ventura being missing. He is introduced to the live crowd to stroke his ego. He shakes hands with Jimmy Hart, Danny Davis and the Hart Foundation. Tough draw for Jimmy Hart having to go back to back here. 

They show an interview with the heel team and I will never be used to Bret in those sunglasses. 

Hart Foundation & Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs & Tito Santana

Tito immediately attacks the heels outside the ring. Ventura for some reason rides away in the mini ring with Matilda. This match feels so rushed and it's kind of ruining the flow of it. The Hart Foundation do most of the heavy lifting and then tag in Davis. He tags himself right back out and it's back to the Foundation. They slingshot Davis in the ring, but Dynamite Kid gets his knees up and in comes Tito. Tito is super over here, as he should be. He goes for the Figure Four, but Neidhart runs in and clubs him. In comes Davey Boy and he hits a clothesline. He hits a Tombstone piledriver and then the vertical suplex. Davey hits the running powerslam, but Neidhart again breaks it up. It's all chaos and Davis hits Davey with the megaphone and gets the cheap victory. This was disappointing, but still pretty good. It's just a shame because they could have had a classic here. 

Match Rating: **3/4

Mean Gene is with Andre The Giant and Bobby Heenan. Heenan is saying that Hulkamania is dead and Heenan will be managing the champion of the world. 

Butch Reed vs. Koko B Ware

I never quite got why Koko was always such a jobber to the stars, as he was pretty much always over. Reed is a little bit more sluggish than I remember. Koko makes a comeback and hits a dropkick for a 2 count. Koko rolls him up with a small package for another 2. Koko hits a crossbody, but Reed rolls it over and steals the victory. This was such a nothing match. After the match, Slick hits Koko with the cane. Out comes Tito Santana and he rips the clothes off of Slick, before he runs to the back. Koko and Tito hit Reed with a double dropkick. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get quick thoughts from both Savage and Steamboat, including a more cartoony interview than normal from Steamboat. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

George Steele is in Steamboat's corner just to remind us of what a waste of Savage's time the feud with him was. Savage is able to throw Steamboat over the rope and to the floor. Steamboat battles back and Savage ends up stuck in the ropes. They go on a frenzy and it ends with Savage hitting a knee to the back. Savage tries to throw Steamboat over the top rope, but Steamboat skins the cat. Savage greets him with a clothesline and this time he's to the floor. Savage hits a running knee to the back that sends Steamboat over the timekeeper table and over the guardrail. Steele picks up Steamboat and throws him back into the ring. Savage just takes him and throws him over the top again. This time Savage hits a double ax handle from the top rope. Back in the ring he hits another double ax handle from the top and gets a 2 count. Savage snaps the injured throat on the top rope. After a series of moves and unsuccessful pin attempts, Steamboat is able to back body drop Savage over the top rope. Steamboat hits a top rope chop, but Savage gets his foot on the rope. Steamboat tries a bunch of different pin attempts and then hits a slingshot into the ring post. Savage accidentally throws Steamboat into the ref and he is down. Savage hits the top rope elbow drop, but the ref is not there. Savage goes for the bell and tries to go off the top rope. Steele shoves him off before he can use it. Steamboat is able to get a small package and we have a new Intercontinental Championship. What else needs to be said about this match? It set the bar for years to come and in many ways was the first great match of the Hogan era of WWF. This was what storytelling could do for a match, especially when you have two guys who can play their roles like Savage and Steamboat can. Plus, I think Steamboat was the first guy who could keep up with Savage's mind and as a result, we got perfection. 

Match Rating: *****

Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper are with Mean Gene. It's amazing how little charisma Alice Cooper has. 

Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart are up next. Honky Tonk says he's going to sing and dance for everyone. 

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Jake tosses him into the ring and we're underway. Jake hits him with a knee and Honky rolls outside and tries to get out of his gear. Jake gives him a hand and body slams him outside the ring. Jake charges at Honky in the corner, but Honky gets his knee up. The momentum doesn't last long, as Jake hits the short arm clothesline. The action goes outside again and Jake gets thrown into the ring post. Honky hits the second rope fist and teases his finisher, but opts for more right hands instead. He goes for it, but Jake is able to counter it. Jake hits an inverted atomic drop and Honky is begging for mercy. Jake goes for the DDT, but Jimmy Hart grabs his foot. Honky rolls him up and he grabs the rope to steal the victory. Jake tries to hit Honky with the guitar, but he ducks and it explodes on the ring post. Honky escapes to the back, but Hart is still in the ring. Alice Cooper steps in, but Roberts comes from behind and puts him in a full nelson. Cooper grabs Damien and drapes him on Hart. They hightail it out of there and get pelted by cups on their way out. This one should have probably been earlier on the card because it was one of the bigger mid-card matches and it had the impossible task of following Savage/Steamboat. The crowd was kind of quiet for a lot of it. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Mean Gene is out to let us know that we have a new world indoor attendance record. 

Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Volkoff tries to sing, but Jim Duggan runs out and attacks him. He grabs the mic and says that Volkoff can't sing that anthem because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave.  Out come the Killer Bees as the heels still get pelted with trash. The crowd is pretty dead for this one, even for Jim Brunzell's beautiful dropkick. Duggan gets the cheap "USA" chant going to wake them up a little bit. This match is way too long for what it is. Duggan starts chasing Volkoff around the ring. Iron Sheik has the Camel Clutch in and the chase comes in the ring. Duggan stops and hits Sheik in the back with the 2x4 and costs the Bees the match. What a stupid finish to a stupid match. Duggan gets on the mic and we get more "USA" chants and I have no idea why the Bees aren't furious. Ventura says the same thing as I typed that. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Mean Gene is with Andre The Giant and Bobby Heenan. Heenan sure is excited, but these short interviews aren't great. 

Hulk Hogan is back again and he gives another acid trip of an interview. Ultimate Warrior's promos really weren't that much more insane than this.

They bring out the celebrities and now it's time for the main event.

WWF Championship Match
Andre The Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

They go face to face and Hogan quickly tries to go for the slam. He gives out and Andre thinks he won the match, but the ref says 2. Andre hits a big body slam and already looks like he's done for the night. Andre hits a second body slam and then steps on the back of Hogan. Andre slaps on the bear hug to try and put me to sleep. Hogan starts fading away, but you'll never guess what happens next. Okay, you guessed it. He breaks the hold and runs into him with some shoulders, but Andre hits a chop to the throat of Hogan. Andre hits a boot that arguably looks like it could have been below the belt, but that was as high as he could get his leg. Hogan ducks and Andre's head hits the ring post. Hogan rolls up the pads outside the ring and goes for a piledriver. Andre counters and hits a back body drop to the exposed wood. Andre misses a boot and Hogan knocks him down with a clothesline. Hogan goes for the body slam and this time he does it. He hits the leg drop and Hogan retains to a huge pop. I have to say, this was slightly better than I had remembered. If you took away the bear hug, it was passable. I don't rate my matches based on historical significance or any other factor other than how much I enjoyed it. I have disliked Hogan since the first day I ever watched wrestling and would have had no interest in this match if I had been watching in 1987. So I understand that it was the biggest match ever, but in my little bubble, it was just something I wasn't super interested in. With that being said, Hogan was WrestleMania at this point and the crowd loved this. It was mildly entertaining, but Hogan would do this same formula with more agile opponents after this. 

Match Rating: *1/2

This is a really hard one for me to rate. I just don't like this era of WWF as much as I do the early 90s. I don't like as much of the roster and so many of the matches here are filler. On the plus side, you have one of the greatest matches ever in Steamboat/Savage and I did enjoy the Piper/Adonis match as well. A lot of the rest was mildly entertaining and there is no doubt that this deserves a thumbs up, just not as overwhelmingly as a lot of people would say. 

Overall Rating: 79%

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