Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Saturday Night's Main Event XXXIII Review

Saturday, July 15th, 2006
American Airlines Center
Dallas, Texas

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Hulk Hogan is out with Brooke to kick off the show. Brooke thanks everyone and hopes her career will be as successful as her dad's. I may be going out on a limb, but I don't think that's going to happen. Randy Orton is here to interrupt and comes out with a rose. This may be the most I have liked Randy Orton. Orton challenges Hulk to a match at SummerSlam and Hogan accepts. They shake hands and Orton walks off, while Brooke looks smitten. 

King Booker, Finlay & Mark Henry vs. Bobby Lashley, Batista & Rey Mysterio

That was a long amount of time just for entrances here despite having a pretty big card. Annnnnd, we have a commercial right into the beginning of the match. Not to mention there was a commercial during Booker's entrance. When we come back, Finlay is working on Mysterio. Mysterio hits a springboard moonsault, but Finlay's partners make the save. Out comes Hornswoggle and he hits Mysterio in the ribs with the shillelagh behind the referee's back. Mysterio dropkicks Henry's knees and makes the tag, but the ref doesn't see it and Booker drags him back to his corner. Mysterio is able to escape and tags in Batista. Batista hits a spinebuster on Booker and then after a weird pause, Mysterio hits a 619 on him. Batista hits the Batista Bomb and that is all. I'm not sure I get why Booker would take the loss there ahead of his title shot. Plus, that ending was just really weird. Lashley didn't factor into it and just stood there and watched and Henry was just MIA. The rest was pretty paint by numbers. 

Match Rating: **

Vince is pumping up the Spirit Squad. DX interrupts and overdubs what Vince and the Squad are saying. 

They show highlights of a Divas bull riding contest. Apparently the two finalists are Victoria and Michelle McCool and we'll be stuck watching that later on. 

Johnny Nitro & Melina vs. Carlito & Trish Stratus

The ladies start off the match and Nitro trips up Trish. Melina hits a sloppy looking move and both women are down. They tag in their partners and Carlito hits a dropkick. The ladies start brawling and they go outside. This distracts Carlito, but he reverses Nitro's move, hits a Backstabber and that is all. Why even put this on TV? This made no one look good. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show Kevin Von Erich being introduced to the crowd earlier in the night. 

Handicap Elimination Tag Team Match
Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Spirit Squad

Vince added the stipulation that any member that is eliminated has to go into tiny holding cells next to the ring. Michaels gets a hold of the megaphone and hits all of the crew with it. The Squad huddles on the outside and Triple H grabs a horn and plays it in their ears. Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on Mitch and he's eliminated into the commercial break. Triple H hits a spinebuster on Johnny and he's gone. I think you can see where this is going. Kenny starts heading to the back, but Shawn chases after him and fights him on the stage. Out comes Vince and hits Shawn in the back with a chair. Their advantage doesn't last long and before you know it, Triple H is cleaning house. Triple H hits a Pedigree on Mitch and it's 2-on-2. I lookk down for a second and Mikey's now eliminated. Shawn hits an elbow from the top and then we get a Sweet Chin Music/Pedigree combo and that is all. Please let this be the end of these guys fighting. After the match, Vince hits the referee and gets the key to open the cage. Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on Vince and they lock him in the cage with them. This was pretty terrible. Have they ever used those cages again? I'm drawing a blank. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Great Khali and Daivari are in the ring. Big Show and Paul Heyman come out and interrupt. This all leads to Undertaker coming out. Undertaker starts attacking Khali and has to use all of his strength to clothesline him over the top rope. Big Show attacks him from behind and they start brawling. Undertaker has both by the neck, but then they both grab him by the neck and hit a double chokeslam on him. 

They talk to Big Show backstage and says that if you want to see the extreme giant, you tune in to Tuesday nights. He challenges Undertaker to a title match this Tuesday. 

Extreme Rules Match
Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Sabu chucks a chair in the face of Richards and hits Air Sabu. He hits the triple jump moonsault and Richards kicks out at 2. Out comes the table and he brings it into the ring. Sabu tries to drag Richards on the table and one leg collapses. He improvises and hits a dive through the table with the chair for the victory. This was a little bit surprising considering he just got in trouble. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Randy is shown talking to Brooke until Hulk shows up and tells him he'll see him at SummerSlam. Orton come running out of nowhere and he hits a RKO on the car. Brooke checks on him and Orton walks off. 

It's time for the bull riding contest. McCool is first and she lasts 12 seconds. Out comes Victoria in an outfit I'm sure she regrets. She lasts 7 seconds and throws a fit. McCool wins it and I have no idea why this was on TV. 

WWE Championship Match
John Cena vs. Edge

Edge tries to walk away but Cena grabs attacks him. Edge ducks a charging Cena and he falls out to the floor into the commercial break. Edge goes for a superplex, but Edge slips and somehow Cena still flips over, but Edge fell pretty hard there. Cena makes his comeback and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena hits the FU, but Lita pulls the referee out of the ring during the count. They then do the false finish with Edge tapping out of the STFU, but the ref disqualifies Edge and Cena is heartbroken. Edge hits a Spear. As Edge is celebrating, Cena attacks him outside of the ring and hits him in the head with a monitor. Cena then hits the FU off the steps through a table. That was pretty cool. The rest...not so much. 

Match Rating: *

I get that they were trying to mimic the goofy nature of the classic SNME, but this one just didn't work that great. Everything felt rushed or stale and there wasn't anything you were talking about after the show was over. Even Hogan's return felt uninspired. 

Overall Rating: 40%

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