Monday, August 1st, 2005
Mohegan Sun Arena
Uncasville, Connecticut
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Chris Jericho is here to kick off the show. He talks about the plan that he has concocted to end the reign of John Cena with Eric Bischoff. He shows the highlights of him kicking Cena below the belt from last week. Jericho says that he's going to beat either Cena or Carlito at SummerSlam. Out runs Cena (sans entrance music) and they have a big brawl. Bischoff tries to stop it and sends out security. I'm kind of surprised that they went this route with 20 days left until their match. Bischoff then announces that Jericho will once again be the referee tonight.
Chris Masters & Snitsky vs. Shelton Benjamin & Big Show
It's always a nice bonus when there is a little bit of continuity on the weekly shows. None of these guys had much going on in the storyline department, so here's a little mini feud to keep things interesting. We get a brawl to start. Things slow down and Show hits some open palm slaps on Snitsky. Show clotheslines him over the top. Masters tries to attack him from behind, but Show picks him up and tosses him over the top rope onto Snitsky. After the break, Shelton goes for a splash in the corner, but Snitsky gets the boot up. They work on Shelton's back for awhile. They get some double teaming in and Show comes in and clotheslines them both. Shelton goes for a backslide, but Masters counters with a big clothesline. Masters wasn't great at this point, but it's kind of amazing that they didn't get more out of him since he was only 22 years old. Shelton finally makes the tag and Big Show hits a double splash and then runs though them both. Big Show hits the chokeslam on Snitsky and that's all. This was pretty formulaic, as you would expect. That's not necessarily a bad thing by the way. Shelton gets his revenge, Big Show stays strong and Masters looked solid.
Match Rating: **1/4 (out of 5)
Eugene comes out with Christy in a cheerleader outfit. They bring out this week's hometown hero and then Kurt Angle's music hits. Eugene asks him his name and where he's from repeatedly until Angle finally gives in. Eugene tells him that he's not a hometown hero, so he won't face him. Angle wonders who could possibly be from Uncasville. Tatanka's music hits and he comes out to a mild pop.
Eugene Gold Medal Invitational
Eugene vs. Tatanka
Man...Tatanka's mullet. They work the beginning to a standard match, which doesn't really work with the whole three minute stipulation. With about one minute left, Tatanka hits a chop off the top rope for a 2 count. Eugene hits an Angle Slam, kind of. He puts him in the Ankle Lock and in comes Angle, causing a disqualification. Tatanka then helps out Eugene and they double clothesline Angle to the floor. This obviously existed to continue the set up for their match at SummerSlam.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Angle is stopped by Todd Grisham backstage. Next week he says Raw is in Pittsburgh and he will be the hometown hero.
They show the finish of the Edge/Kane match from last week and then the attack from Kane afterwards. They update it by saying that Kane was arrested for his acts.
Jericho is backstage and in walks Carlito. He tells Carlito that it will be them at SummerSlam. Bischoff walks in and tells them to come up with a plan to make sure that happens.
A limo is shown arriving to the arena and out walks Vince McMahon. Vince says that tonight is the 636th episode of Raw, passing every TV show in history. He then thanks himself for building this juggernaut that will last for generations. I'm guessing he hasn't seen the ratings in 2020. He says he is standing here because he makes good business decisions, even if it is signing someone like Eric Bischoff or bringing a dead brand like ECW back. Tonight he is announcing a good business decision and that decision is bringing back Matt Hardy. Hardy is shown coming out of a limo and then kind of awkwardly jogging when he realizes how far away it is from the entrance ramp. This is a great reminder of how underrated Hardy's single entrance theme is. Vince hands Hardy the mic and walks out of the ring. Hardy thanks Vince, but says it was the fans that brought him back. He fills in everyone on the Hardy/Lita/Edge real life saga. He uses their real names here. Hardy then says something about Edge being killed in a car accident and that even made JR pipe in. Matt is a much better talker when he's playing a character and with this being very close to real life, it came off a little flat. I say that as someone who is a big fan of Matt.
Vince bumps into Chavo...I mean Kerwin White. He's looking for a house in Greenwich. As dumb as the gimmick is, Chavo was actually pretty good in the role.
Val Venis vs. Rob Conway
Val gives away his towel to a lady at ringside. Does he think this is 1998? Rob Conway then comes out to entrance music that is so bad, the entire arena goes quiet. His outfit is even worse. I can't imagine why this flopped. He starts the match still wearing his sunglasses. If there was ever such a thing as a bathroom break match, this was definitely it. His glasses get knocked off and Conway is upset. Val hits a powerbomb and then a variation of the Figure Four and no one cares at all. I am shocked they weren't told to go home early. Val goes up top and Conway knocks him off. Conway hits what he calls the Ego Trip and gets the victory. Conway was a solid enough worker, but he had literally everything else working against him here with this gimmick.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We are supposed to be seeing career highlights of Shawn Michaels, but instead we get a fake Larry King and Michaels dressed up as Hogan coming in on a walker. This is the famous "brother" promo. After making fun of him for a bit, "King" shows the highlight reel. Back to the Larry King spot, he makes fun of Hogan not working hard every night. He pretends to hurt his back after posing and then hits Sweet Chin Music on King. He rips off his fake bald head and asks him what Hogan is going to do when reality kicks him in the face and kicks the cameraman.
Diva Search time. Summer is cut this week. The ring this week has an inflatable bounce ring and they are going to try and knock each other off the pedestals. They introduce Rob Schneider as a guest judge. Elisabeth wins in what was absolutely terrible.
WWE Championship Match
Carlito vs. John Cena
Carlito attacks Cena, who is distracted by Jericho. Cena fights back, but Jericho holds his punch back and Carlito takes advantage again. Jericho is playing the role of heel referee here, with fast counts and interfering when he can. Jericho blocks Cena's suplex counter and then doesn't stop counting when Cena's feet are on the ropes. They've got JR all riled up here tonight. Cena finally fights back and Jericho steps out of the ring. He hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and Jericho doesn't go to count the pin attempt. Cena attacks Jericho, allowing Carlito to again attack from behind. Cena fights through it and then accidentally knocks Jericho down with his elbow. Jericho hits a low blow on, but Cena knocks him out of the ring and then hits the FU on Carlito. In runs Chad Patton and he counts the victory for Cena. Jericho attacks him after the match. He takes a "high dollar" camera and hits Cena over the head, busting him open. Jericho puts on the Walls of Jericho while Bischoff yells in his face and gets a few slaps in. This was all storyline and not much of a match. It furthered along the story of Cena and Jericho, but the in ring action was pretty weak.
Match Rating: 3/4*
We had Michaels imitating Hogan, Matt Hardy return, a WWE Championship match and the show still wasn't very good. They've kind of hit a little bit of a slump here recently and one of the main reasons why is the Diva Search. It is nearly unwatchable every week. Rob Conway's debut was one of the worst ones I can think of during this era, so that certainly didn't help this episode's cause. The only thing really to check out here is the Michaels segment.
Overall Rating: 38%
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