Monday, August 8th, 2005
Mellon Arena
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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Eugene Gold Medal Invitational
Eugene vs. Kurt Angle
Eugene is once again with Christy and is sporting a Hulkamania shirt. Angle is tired of Eugene's crap. Angle is clearly the face here and then he insults the Pittsburgh crowd for some boos. Angle attacks Eugene and dominates the first minute. Eugene hits the ref and then blames it on Angle. Eugene knocks Angle down and then rides him like a cowboy. Angle hits a German suplex with a release and gets a big pop. Eugene escapes the Angle Slam and Angle accidentally hits Mike Chioda and he calls for the bell. Angle attacks a celebratory Eugene from behind and hits the Angle Slam. Hulk Hogan's music hits and he's on his way down to the ring. Angle tries to attack him, but we all know the end of this story. Angle is able to escape before taking a beatdown. Eugene is now celebrating with a gold medal around his neck with Hulk Hogan. Think about that for a minute.
Match Rating: 1/2* (out of 5)
Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters
Masters catches Shelton and drives him into the mat with a body slam. Masters signs for the Master Lock, but Benjamin counters the attempt and gets a 2 count. Shelton fires back and hits a running knee lift. Shelton hits a top rope clothesline, but Masters gets his foot on the bottom rope. Shelton again escapes the Master Lock attempt and puts on a sleeper hold. Masters hits Shelton with a low blow and then finally gets him in the Master Lock and that is all. That's your longest match of the night at right around four minutes. That was a much bigger squash than what Shelton deserves here.
Match Rating: *
Angle is shown walking out of Eric Bischoff's office. Angle says that he is facing Eugene at SummerSlam with no time limit. He says that he will be ending his career and he's going to like it.
Rob Conway is back with Maria to talk about his match with Viscera. He says he's going to get things done the Con-way. Viscera comes in and tells Conway that he looks like he's from the Village People. Why wouldn't you save this match for WrestleMania?
Edge and Lita are backstage to talk about the re-hiring of Matt Hardy. Edge says that he personally asked Vince to do it. He wants to get his hands on Hardy and if he did it outside the ring, he'd be arrested for assault. Edge gives one of his more passionate promos to date. He comments on the car accident comment and says he wants the opposite for Hardy. He wants him in perfect condition so he can take him out. He says that Matt complained about Lita being his dream girl, but he had six years to propose to her and failed to. Now she is in love with a main eventer. They of course end the promo by making out. In terms of their promos, Edge definitely got the better of Matt as this was quite good.
Rob Conway vs. Viscera
It can not be understated how silent it gets when Conway's music hits. I can't think of another entrance theme that has a worse impact on a wrestler. Conway dropkicks Viscera's knee and they act as if he is injured. The ref tries to get Conway to back off, but he goes to work on his knee. About 30 seconds later Viscera is able to overcome the odds and hit a Samoan Drop. Conway goes up top and Viscera hits him with a fist from his knee? That was weird looking. Viscera is limping and goes to lift Conway up and he pushes him down for a pinfall victory. Viscera's knee gave out. What a match.
Match Rating: 1/4*
The Hurricane, Rosey & Stacy Keibler vs. The Heart Throbs & Victoria
They actually show highlights from Sunday Night Heat, as there was an angle on there that set up this match. There's a part of me that wishes Heat and Velocity were up on the Network, but at the same time it would take me about 3 years to get through 2005, so I'm good. The Heart Throbs miss a double dropkick on Hurricane and he tags in Rosey. He gets in some body slams and then he and Hurricane dump them both out of the ring while they are distracted by Stacy. Victoria then attacks Stacy. Victoria gets bumped off the apron by Rosey and then the Heart Throbs steal the victory. That was extremely brief. Both Stacy and Victoria are selling injuries as the Heart Throbs leave to the back on their own.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Chris Jericho is here for another episode of the Highlight Reel. His guest tonight is Eric Bischoff. They show a short Fozzy music video with highlights of Jericho and Cena. Bischoff says not everything has gone according to plan and orders Chad Patton down to the ring. He was the referee last week who counted Cena's pin last week when Jericho was out of the ring. They slap Patton and Bischoff orders Patton to take on Jericho tonight.
Chris Jericho vs. Chad Patton
Patton drives Jericho into the turnbuckle, but Jericho just starts beating him down. Jericho starts choking Patton with his referee shirt. Bischoff is the ref for this and now Carlito is on his way down. Jericho tosses him over the top rope and Carlito starts attacking him now. Jericho puts him him in the Walls of Jericho and Bischoff calls for the bell. Jericho won't release the hold and then out comes Cena. Carlito tries to make the save, but is unsuccessful. He hits the FU on Carlito as he points at Jericho. This was obviously an angle more than a match, so it's almost unfair to rate it. But rules are rules.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Bischoff and Jericho are upset backstage. Bischoff announces that it will be Jericho and Carlito against Cena next week on Raw.
It's Diva Search time and they announce that this will be over next week, which is the best news I've heard all day. Kristal is eliminated tonight. They do a contest of when things go wrong and it is pre-taped. Ashley gives out her phone number, which is blurred and then bleeped out. Halfway through someone runs in and throws a pie in her face and she gets mad. Thrilling TV. Leyla claims to be naked and covering herself with a sign covering her. She also gets the pie treatment and she handles it better, but it also reveals that she was not naked. Elisabeth cuts a promo about wanting to be here more than anyone else and then doesn't let it slow her down. Like everything else, this was terrible. From what little I remembered about this, I had thought that I remembered Ashley being super popular, but really she didn't stand out over the other two with the crowd.
Matt Hardy vs. Snitsky
They go right at it and Hardy gets some knees to the face in. Snitsky hits a spinebuster and starts working on Hardy in the corner. Hardy avoids a charging Snitsky and regains the advantage. The crowd has already died down at this point. Snitsky misses a kick and ends up on sitting on the top rope. Hardy hits a top rope version of the Twist Of Fate and gets the victory. As soon as the match is over, Edge comes in and attacks him. Edge is pulled away by a group of agents. The match wasn't much.
Match Rating: 3/4*
Backstage, Hardy attacks Edge and they again have to pulled apart.
They show the debut of John Cena's new music video for "Right Now".
Shawn Michaels is shown walking towards Gorilla Position.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring with two empty podiums. They run down next week's Raw and announce that Hulk Hogan will take on Kurt Angle. King wonders if Michaels is jealous of Hogan. Michaels shoots it down and says there is not one aspect of Hogan's life that he wants and that he can't touch him in the ring. Michaels says Hogan has made a career strictly on personality and show and at SummerSlam it won't amount to anything. Michaels keeps going on and Hogan finally interrupts him. He says that if Michaels wanted a match, all he had to do is ask. Instead he did what he does best and stabbed him in the back. Hogan then brings up Bret Hart to a big reaction. Hogan talks about Michaels losing his smile and said he's not back here for his smile. He's here for the Hulkamaniac's smiles. Hogan then lays it all out with his famous "Whatcha gonna do?". Michaels then superkicks Jerry Lawler and then attacks Hogan. Hogan no sells and hits a big boot and then throws him over the top rope. Well, that was certainly a strong ending. These guys have great chemistry together and brought out the best in each other here.
Well, first let's do the good. Edge cut a very passionate promo here and definitely sold me on his match with Hardy. The show then ended on a great note with two old pros showing what they are capable of on the mic. Then there was the rest of the show. On paper, the actual wrestling matches were as weak as it comes. There was not one match that lasted five minutes here and most of the wrestling wasn't very good. The Diva Search is finally almost over, but this was again embarrassingly bad. The Jericho segment was decent, but not really necessary to me. Both promo segments are worth watching, but everything else is nothing you ever need to see.
Overall Rating: 40%
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