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Triple Threat Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Big Show vs. Kane
These are the three competitors that will fans will be voting for to take on Kurt Angle and John Cena at Taboo Tuesday. Jerry Lawler is hyping this up as a match that we have never seen before. I don't think we are even a minute into the match and Big Show already has some blood from the top of his nose. Michaels and Big Show argue over pinning Kane, so Michaels takes him out from behind with a chop block. He and Kane team up on Big Show and knock him out of the ring. Kane takes control over Michaels until Show pulls him out of the ring and takes him out. Back in the ring, he throws Michaels out of the ring and on to Kane heading into the commercial break. That's an early commercial for this show. Show hits a big powerslam on Kane, but Michaels breaks up the pin attempt. Show has Michaels ready for a chokeslam, but Kane attacks him from behind. Wouldn't it have been better to let him hit the chokeslam? Kane tosses Michaels out of the ring again, as they show a countdown to voting opening for Taboo Tuesday. Kane goes for a suplex and sort of, kind of hits it? Kane goes up top, but Big Show gets there and hits a superplex. Michaels climbs the ropes and hits an elbow drop on Big Show. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Show, but Kane then hits a big clothesline on Michaels. Kane goes for a pin attempt, but Show kicks out at 2. A frustrated Kane starts throwing chairs into the ring and then destroys Big Show in the head with an awful shot to the head. Kane goes for a top rope move, but Michaels "hits" Sweet Chin Music on him. Well, Kane sold it like he did at least. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music again on Big Show and gets the victory. Give credit to the two big men here, as they weren't given a ton of time and as a result they really picked up the pace to try and tell their story. Unfortunately, it was also a little bit sloppy as a result and the miss on Kane is just one of those unfortunate things that happens every now and then. Still, it was refreshing to start the show with a match and one that contained star power.
Match Rating: ** (out of 5)
Lawler gets on the live mic and asks the crowd if Coach is doing a good job. They of course boo. They all then cheer when asked if they enjoyed Steve Austin embarrassing him last week. Lawler then announces the three stipulations the fans can choose from for his match with Steve Austin. The choices are a verbal debate, an arm wrestling match or a street fight. Look at how much power the fans have! Coach heads to the ring to call out Austin and tells him he has three minutes to come out here. Austin's music hits and we see the truck coming through. But of course it's all just a ploy and it's Stephanie McMahon in a revealing outfit. Steph announces that Austin will not be here tonight. Coach then calls out Austin for next week on Raw. She announces that if Coach beats Austin, he will be fired. She starts hyping up how much muscle her dad has added and out comes Mick Foley wearing his homemade referee shirt. Foley cuts a passionate promo on JR and Linda stooping to the rest of her family's level. Steph then announces that he will be facing Carlito at Taboo Tuesday and out comes Carlito to no reaction. Steph then hits Foley with a low blow and Carlito attacks him. Carlito spits an apple in his face and heads to the back.
Foley is in the back being looked at by a trainer when Bischoff comes in to insult him. He reminds him that he is still tonight's referee for the main event tonight.
As Triple H is coming down the ramp, Flair comes from behind and attacks him. They begin brawling and Triple H is taking out the referees that are trying to stop him. They finally pull them apart. Triple H heads to the back and Flair heads to the ring, throws a shoe in the crowd and grabs a mic. Flair begs to to be put in a cage with Triple H. Classic Flair here.
A camera is back in the parking lot of the arena and JBL's limo has arrived and he is shown walking out. When we come back to the commercial, he and Bischoff are face-to-face arguing. Bischoff has security there to try and stop JBL. Edge, Lita and Chris Masters are in the ring, talking to JBL. Edge tells JBL that no one cares about him. This is all so random. Edge announces that at Taboo Tuesday there will be a Raw vs. SmackDown match. Edge and Chris Masters will take on two SmackDown competitors. They announce the five options as Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Christian, Hardcore Holly and JBL. They make fun of each competitor, where Masters seems really uncomfortable. JBL plays babyface and makes fun of Masters and challenges him to come out and tells him to try putting the Master Lock on someone a little bit bigger. Masters heads to the back, while Edge says that he's a bigger star than all of the SmackDown stars. Masters and JBL go face-to-face. JBL says that Masters just fell for the oldest trick in the book. Back in the ring, Mysterio attacks Edge and Lita and even hits the 619 to Lita. All of this really makes no sense. Why would Mysterio and JBL of all people put their differences aside to attack Raw? I say that as someone who enjoys the brand warfare more than most people.
Mickie James vs. Victoria
This is James' debut singles match here in WWE. Victoria dominates to start, but Mickie hits a sunset flip for a 2 count. Mickie misses with a dropkick and Victoria quickly stomps her in the mid-section. It should be noted that Trish Stratus, Ashley, Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson are all at ringside. Mickie hits a head scissors and a series of dropkicks for a nearfall. Torrie trips up Mickie as she goes off the ropes and Victoria goes for a vertical suplex, but she counters it into a pin attempt. The ref is distracted by the heels, so Trish comes in and helps James get another pin attempt and this time the ref sees it and Mickie gets the victory. After the match, the ladies all start brawling and Trish, Ashley and Mickie stand tall. Like all women's matches during this era, this was rushed, but it was apparent that Mickie was a trained wrestler.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Vince McMahon is here and lets us know that he doesn't when we second guess the decisions of his family. He announces that he has footage of JR's surgery. Yes, this is Dr. Heiney and Nurse Slobberknockers skit that is full of fart sounds and absolutely awful humor. I don't know how anyone thought this was something that needed to be on television, nor do I think this is a way to treat someone who is so closely associated with your company. This is easily among the worst things that WWE has ever produced and that is really saying something. When they go back to Vince in the ring, the crowd hardly reacts at all.
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Rosey
Rosey walks out alone, looking for his partner. Rosey takes the champs on himself and out walks Gregory Helms. Rosey is asking him to come on down to help him out. Cade avoids a charging Rosey and he goes over the ropes to the floor. The champs quickly take advantage of the situation and aren't getting much of a reaction while doing it. Rosey makes a little bit of a comeback, but Cade hits him with a leaping shoulder tackle. They hit a double vertical suplex. They hit Sweet and Sour for the victory, as Helms look on. There wasn't much to this one.
Match Rating: *
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena
Mick Foley is of course the guest referee here. The crowd has woken up here and rightfully so. Angle dominates early on until Cena hits a hip toss and a body slam, but Angle avoids an elbow drop. Cena recovers and clotheslines Angle to the floor as we head into commercial break. Angle hits a belly-to-belly suplex and follows it with yet another one. Angle starts shoving Foley, so Foley shoves him back and Cena almost gets a quick victory. Angle hits a German suplex and gets another 2 count. Cena makes his comeback and plants a DDT, but is unable to follow up. Both men get up and Cena gets his second win. Cena hits a fisherman suplex for a 2. Carlito comes down to the ring and he and Foley start brawling. Carlito slams Foley into the steps, as Cena continues to beat on Angle. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and puts Angle up for the FU. Bischoff comes down in a referee shirt and he of course does all that he can to get Cena to lose. Angle is able to get him in the Ankle Lock. Bischoff grabs Cena's arm and makes him slap the mat and he calls for the bell. Cena tries to fight back, but he sells the ankle injury. The match was pretty good until the finish, but that was to be expected.
Match Rating: **1/2
There's no way around it, this will always be the Dr. Heiney episode of Raw. I wish there was something good enough on the show to make me forget about it, but alas it wasn't to be. The skit was a complete embarrassment and deserves to be forgotten about. Skip it.
Overall Rating: 38%
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