No Mercy 2005 Review

Sunday, October 9th, 2005
Toyota Center
Houston, Texas

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

MNM & Melina vs. Animal, Heidenreich & Christy Hemme

Heidenreich throws Nitro in the ring while he is still wearing his jacket and the match is underway. Heidenreich turns Nitro inside out with a clothesline. MNM turns the tide on Animal by working on his injured shoulder. MNM hits the Snapshot, but Nitro doesn't get out of the ring and it delays the pin. That was just an awkward way to allow someone to kick out of finisher. Not to mention that they hit it about two minutes into the match. Mercury goes up top, but Animal catches him and hits a body slam. Heidenreich breaks up the pin attempt and Nitro dumps him over the top rope. Nitro jumps off the apron, but Heidenreich moves out of the way. Melina tags herself in and goes off the top rope. Animal catches her and tags in Christy. She hits a Hart Attack clothesline. Christy then hits the scariest looking hurricanrana I've ever seen. Christy goes up top for the Doomsday Device. She barely can get her pinned, but it eventually happens and they get the victory. It's really a little scary how they were trotting out women like Christy and Ashley for wrestling matches when they clearly weren't ready yet. The match was okay for what it was and the crowd seemed to enjoy it for the most part.

Match Rating: *1/2 (out of 5)

Eddie Guerrero and Batista are back in the locker room together. Eddie tells Batista good luck and Batista wishes him the same.

Simon Dean vs. Bobby Lashley

Simon Dean is out with writer Chris DeJoseph, who is carrying out a tray of hamburgers. Before the match, he talks about Houston being the fattest city in America. He says that he is so sure that he'll beat Lashley tonight, that if he doesn't, he will eat all 20 cheeseburgers on the tray. Dean goes for a cheap shot, but Lashley catches him into a double underhook suplex. Dean avoids a charging Lashley in the corner and Dean starts throwing cheeseburgers at the ref. With the ref distracted, he smacks the tray on the head of Lashley, but that just makes Lashley mad. He pulls up Dean by his feet and tries to catch him into the Dominator, but they lose their balance. He picks him back up and hits it and gets the easy victory. Dean continues to be perfect in his role as an enhancement talent and Lashley continues to show more promise than I remember back in 2005. Lashley then shoves one of the burgers in his face.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Jillian Hall introduces JBL backstage for his interview. He talks about Raw potentially invading the show tonight. He says that underdogs simply do not win, but in walks Rey Mysterio. He offers JBL a mask, but then hands it to Jillian Hall.

Fatal 4-Way For The United States Championship
Booker T vs. Christian vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Chris Benoit

Christian and Booker go after one another while Jordan and Benoit do the same. Benoit gets knocked out of the ring and Jordan starts working with Christian on Booker. Booker hits a double leaping clothesline and then throws Christian out of the ring. Christian trips up Booker and throws him into the steel steps. Benoit sneaks in and puts Jordan in the Crippler Crossface, but Christian makes the save. Benoit hits a suplex on Christian and then suplexes Jordan on top of Christian. He then hits a drop toe hold into Jordan below the belt. Benoit puts Christian in the Sharpshooter, but Jordan is right there to break it up. Booker makes his way back and hits a missile dropkick on Christian. Booker hits a slingshot on Jordan and he hits Christian. Benoit then dumps out Jordan and now Benoit and Booker are in there alone. By the time they really get started, Christian and Jordan make their way back in. Benoit hits a belly-to-belly suplex over the top rope and Jordan again gets rid of Benoit. They hit a double clothesline and both men are down. Benoit comes in and goes up top, but Christian slows him down. They are battling on the second rope and Jordan pushes Booker into them, sending both men to the floor. Booker gets a pin attempt and gets a really close call. Booker takes out all three opponents and hits the scissor kick on Jordan, but Christian breaks it up. Christian throws Benoit into Booker. Christian goes for the Unprettier, but Benoit counters that into a German suplex. He goes for a second one, but Jordan I guess blocks it? It sure looked like he and Christian hit heads pretty hard there. Benoit disposes of Jordan and hits another German suplex on Christian. He signals for the headbutt, but instead hits three more German suplexes and then heads up top. Christian moves out of the way and goes for a pin, but Benoit counters it and goes for the Crippler Crossface. After a fight, he gets it in. Jordan comes in an finally breaks it up. Booker again sends him out of the ring with a clothesline and Benoit puts Christian in a Sharpshooter and Christian taps. I wonder why Christian left for TNA? There were probably a few too many instances of guys getting thrown out of the ring here, but this was a hard fought match with a non-stop pace. I liked this a lot better than what I originally rated this match over a decade ago. After the match, Sharmell is telling Booker that Benoit is not his friend.

Match Rating: ***1/4

Lashley is backstage now making Dean eat his cheeseburgers. Dean is claiming how gross they are since they were on the mat. He isn't wrong. Lashley isn't buying it though and Dean tries to choke them down.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly brings in Kennedy the hard way and then hits a vertical suplex. Holly then hits his signature suplex, which leads to some chops. Holly's tights look exactly like the new logo for Extreme Rules 2020. Kennedy hits Holly's shoulder into the ring post and goes to work on the shoulder. Kennedy hits a back suplex and the crowd isn't really into this match so far. Holly gets a few chops in, but again Kennedy goes to work on the shoulder. Holly battles out and hits a back body drop. Holly is able to hit a full nelson slam and follows it up with a clothesline in the corner. He sends him to the other corner and hits another clothesline. Holly hits is "completely legal" kick below the belt. Kennedy tries to go for a wheel kick, but Holly swats it away and hits a big boot. He climbs up to the top rope, but Kennedy gets there and gets Holly up on his shoulders. He hits the Green Bay Plunge and gets the victory. His finisher is definitely over. I thought the match would be a little bit better, but it ended up just being pretty good.

Match Rating: **1/4

After the match, Holly is selling his injuries, but refusing medical help. Out comes Sylvan and he attacks him. Holly had to be thrilled to be putting two guys over here tonight.

They go back to Dean eating his burgers and finds a hair in one of them.

Sharmell is backstage yelling about Benoit again. Mr. Kennedy comes in and interrupts and lets them know that he won his first pay-per-view match in his own obnoxious way. Sharmell tells Booker that his problem is himself, not Kennedy or Benoit.

JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

Tazz and Cole talking about the growth on Jillian's face continues to be one of the worst parts of 2005. JBL takes Rey down into a headlock to start. Rey starts using his speed to make JBL chase him around the ring. Rey mocks him by doing jumping jacks and then hits him with a dropkick. Rey starts working on the leg, but JBL gives him a thumb to the eye. Rey hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissor, but JBL is able to avoid a 619. Rey hits a leaping bulldog off the apron and both men are struggling to get back in the ring. JBL trips up Rey as he is climbing up the steps and he falls face first into them. JBL hits a fall away slam from the second rope. Mysterio battles back with a tornado DDT, but is struggling to capitalize. He's able to hit a bronco buster, but the Jillian climbs up to the apron. JBL almost runs into her, but is able to stop. Mysterio hits a moonsault for a nearfall. Mysterio hits a dropkick and follows it up with the 619. JBL ducks the seated senton and hits the Clothesline From Hell and gets the victory. These two have good chemistry and it made for a good match. Then again, who doesn't have good chemistry with Rey Mysterio?

Match Rating: ***

Handicap Casket Match
Bob & Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Taker gets the druid entrance, so that means it's 24 minutes long instead of 18. The Ortons immediately try to corner Taker, but it's pro wrestling, so it doesn't work. They eventually are able to get Taker down after Bob hits him with a low blow. It doesn't last long and Taker is able to throw Bob into the casket. He quickly gets out and Randy is able to throw Taker into the steps. They team up to get Taker in the casket, but he never leaves his feet and fights his way out of there. Taker is able to hit Old School on Randy. He tries the same on Bob, but Randy knocks him off his feet and they hit a double superplex. They try to suplex him into the casket, but Taker counters it with a double DDT. Undertaker hits Snake Eyes and follows it up with the running boot. Meanwhile, Bob on the outside has a fire extinguisher. Taker drives Randy spine-first into the ring post. As he's trying to put Randy in the casket, Bob is trying to sneak up behind him, but he eats a boot to the face. Taker grabs a chair and drills Orton in the back with it. Bob misses with the extinguisher and puts on the triangle choke on him. Both Ortons are in the casket, but Randy prevents Taker from closing the lid. Taker and Randy begin exchanging fists while Bob is beneath him. Taker closes the casket on Bob and apparently that means it is now a one-on-one match. Randy hits a scoop powerslam and tries to get Taker into the casket. As it opens, he is distracted by his dad in there and Taker hits him with a low blow. Orton gets a little bit of a comeback after a dropkick, but he gets too cocky and Taker hits a Last Ride. He goes to throw Randy in the casket, but Bob pops out with the extinguisher and Randy hits him with a RKO. Bob goes to roll Taker in the casket, but Taker gets up and tries for a chokeslam. Randy comes over and hits him in the head with the extinguisher and it knocks Taker in the casket. Taker pulls Orton in the casket and the lid is shut with both men are in there. When it opens up, Taker goes for a chokeslam, but Bob attacks him. They hit him with a chair to the head and close the door. Who knew a fire extinguisher was Taker's Achilles' heel? This wasn't as bad as I thought, but the casket match certainly is not the best stipulation when it comes to match entertainment. After the match, the Ortons wheel the casket to the top of the ramp. Randy starts chopping the casket with an ax. Out comes Bob with gasoline and a lighter. Randy sets the casket ablaze until the pyro crew puts it out. They find the one person in the crowd who thinks that it's real and then Cole and Tazz try to sell the smell of the smoke and fumes. Meanwhile, the kids behind them seem to not be the least bit bothered by it.

Match Rating: **1/4

Cruiserweight Championship Match
Juventud vs. Nunzio

Remember those three weeks where they pretended to care about the Mexicools? This match was made as a result of Juventud winning a battle royal on Velocity. Nunzio was always an underrated worker. These guys are in the death spot on the show, as the crowd is completely out of it here. Juvy goes up top, but Nunzio pulls him off and gets a 2 count. Juvy is a good worker, but at this point in time Super Crazy was the best of the three and the guy that I would have put in a better spot than he is here. Both men are up top and both end up getting slammed face-first. Michael Cole reminds us that we can only see the cruiserweights on SmackDown. I can't remember the last cruiserweight match that was featured. Nunzio misses with a Sicilian Slice. Juvy goes for a springboard move, but Vito holds his leg. He fights him off and goes for a sunset flip. He ends up hitting Vito with a head scissors. He then hits a top rope crossbody, but Nunzio rolls through for a nearfall. Juvy hits a Northern Lights suplex and rolls through into a Juvy Driver and Juventud is your new Cruisweight Champion. There was nothing wrong with this match, but it just felt like a bunch of moves.

Match Rating: **1/2

Back to Simon Dean and he claims to have eaten all of the burgers. Lashley said that it was only 19 and brings him the 20th, which causes Dean to go puke. I am legitimately surprised that this story got as much time as it has here tonight.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Sadly, this is the last time Eddie would ever wrestle on pay-per-view. They take their time to start, which is wise, as the crowd is definitely into both competitors. The story to start with is Batista using simple wrestling moves and Eddie having a hard time finding a way out of them. Eddie runs out and grabs a chair, which gets Michael Cole all in a tizzy. Eddie drops the chair and Batista grabs him by the throat and tries to bring him back in. Eddie is able to snap Batista's neck on the rope and goes for the Frog Splash and gets a close call out of nowhere there. Now it's Eddie's turn to use some wrestling holds and focuses on Batista's back. Eddie grabs the tag rope from the turnbuckle and again thinks the better of it, so he hits him with a dropkick instead. Eddie struggles to turn Batista over for a Texas Cloverleaf and he counters it into a small package for a 2 count. We get our ref bump and Eddie immediately grabs a chair. Eddie is struggling to hit Batista with it and Batista takes advantage of it. Batista hits a spear. He goes for a Batista Bomb, but Eddie rolls over and goes for a sunset flip. Batista counters that and turns it into a spinebuster. Eddie gets his knees up on an elbow drop in a little bit of an awkward looking spot. Eddie hits the Three Amigos. Eddie rolls through when Batista avoids his Frog Splash attempt, but Batista immediately hits a spinebuster and gets the victory? That was a little bit of an anti-climatic finish there. It felt like they still had a couple minutes there at the end that would have probably improved this one. After the match Batista helps Eddie up and we get the delayed handshake. Batista turns his back and Eddie stares him down and then walks away.

Match Rating: ***

There were a couple of pretty good matches, but there was no standout and nothing really happened of importance. This was always the issue with the brand split shows and this one is no different. The card itself was good, but it just ended up feeling like a 160 minute episode of SmackDown instead. I wouldn't call it a terrible show, but it's definitely not a good one.

Overall Rating: 49%