Royal Rumble 1994 Review

Saturday, January 22nd, 1994
Providence Civic Center
Providence, Rhode Island

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Vince McMahon kicks off the show and announces Ted DiBiase as his co-host. This is his first appearance since losing to Razor Ramon at SummerSlam 1993. 

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They start brawling right away, which is kind of an odd choice for a match that was changed at the last minute. Tatanka gets the better of Bam Bam in the early portion and hits a DDT. Tatanka heads out to the top rope, but Bam Bam is able to duck the crossbody. Tatanka is able to buy some time and tries for a top rope sunset flip, but Bam Bam ends up just sitting on him instead. Bam Bam puts on the dreaded bearhug in the middle of the ring. Tatanka finally makes his comeback and hits a body slam and then both men collide with a double crossbody. Bam Bam is the first man back to his feet. Tatanka begins to hulk up, but Bam Bam hits him with a kick to the head and mocks him to some cheers. Bam Bam climbs upstairs, but misses with his moonsault attempt. Tatanka hits a crossbody from the top rope and gets the victory. That was actually quite a bit better than I remembered. I'm not sure why they still felt like Tatanka needed the win here, but what do I know? 

Match Rating: **1/2

We get a lengthy recap on the story of Bret and Owen. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Quebecers vs. Bret & Owen Hart

Bret and Pierre start the match off, with Bret able to take control and tag in Owen. Owen shows off his skills and in comes Jacques. The Hart brothers are emphasizing their teamwork and scoring multiple nearfalls. Pierre comes in illegally and breaks up their momentum. It doesn't last long and the Quebecers go outside to collect their thoughts and hug, of course. The Quebecers are able to isolate Bret and double team while Owen accidentally keeps distracting the referee. Bret gets the hot tag to Owen takes care of both opponents. Owen gets the Sharpshooter on, but Pierre again illegally breaks the hold. The Quebecers drop Owen on the top rope, but Owen comes back with a double dropkick. Bret is tagged in and it almost feels like maybe it was a little early, as the Quebecers don't really seem ready for it. Bret hits them with a double noggin knocker and then sends Pierre over the top rope. Owen holds Jacques, but when Bret goes off the ropes, Johnny Polo holds them open and out goes Bret. Pierre then jumps off the ring steps and onto Bret's leg/knee. Bret is really selling the injury and the Quebecers are all over the attack. The Quebecers miss with their somersault off the top rope. Bret is able to put on the Sharpshooter, but Bret sort of collapses and the referee rings the bell. DiBiase is selling that he should have tagged in his brother. The crowd hates the finish and so do I. Owen is furious and then starts sharing his frustration with Bret. Owen then attacks Bret and then Owen heads to the back, yelling at the camera. Officials are all checking in on Bret and out comes Raymond Rougeau to conduct an interview. They don't let him and it's clear that Bret may not be able to be in the Royal Rumble match later tonight. The finish was bad, the match was good and the story was great. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

Owen is back with Todd Pettengill and he tells his side of the story. This all leads to the "kick your leg out of your leg" comment that is legendary. 

Intercontinental Championship Match

IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon are the announcers for this match. I still think one of my favorite random facts is that Razor Ramon was never in the Royal Rumble match. IRS tries to get things going, but Razor attacks him with a series of right hands. Razor catches a kick and counters it with an atomic drop and a clothesline. Razor charges and IRS is able to throw him over the top rope. IRS goes off the top rope, Razor gets his boot up, but IRS counters that and then hits an elbow drop. I'm no IRS fan, but that was a nice little touch there. Well just as I compliment the guy, we get the typical too long rest hold. Razor is able to fight his way up and hits the spinning right hand. Rrazor hits the fall away slam and gets a 2 count. Razor accidentally hits the referee, so IRS grabs the briefcase. Razor sees him coming, blocks the shot and hits IRS with it. He goes for the pinfall, but the ref is still out cold. Razor sets IRS up on the top rope and hits the back superplex. Razor goes for the Razor's Edge, but in runs Shawn Michaels and he nails him in the back with his Intercontinental belt and now all three men are down. The referee eventually wakes up and IRS pins him for the victory. In runs Earl Hebner to tell him what went down. Razor hits the Razor's Edge and the ref counts the pin and Razor is announced as the winner. That was a pretty unnecessary finish to this match. Regardless, this may be my favorite IRS match if I had to pick one. 

Match Rating: **1/2

After a long and mostly terrible video package, we are finally ready for this "match".

Casket Match For The WWF Championship

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

After what seems like half of my life, this match is finally starting. Taker hits Old School, but misses with the leaping clothesline. Yoko rolls out and grabs a chair. Taker steals it away and hits him in the head with one. Yoko is able to grab some salt and throws it right in the eyes of Taker. Yoko then returns the favor and hits Taker in the back of the head with a chair. That one didn't look as nice. Yoko is able to roll him in the casket, but Taker stands up and they start exchanging right hands. Yokozuna then hits a belly-to-belly suplex, but Taker sits up. Taker then hits a "chokeslam", which really just looks like Yokozuna fell down. Yoko is rolled all the way in the casket, but out comes Crush to make the save. Taker is able to fight him off and out come Great Kabuki and Tenryu. Taker hits them with a double clothesline, so now Bam Bam Bigelow is out and the numbers are catching up. Adam Bomb and Jeff Jarrett are both joining the party and Taker is somehow fighting all of these opponents off. Diesel and the Headshrinkers join the party. The urn opens up and a bunch of smoke comes out of it. They eventually roll him in and close the casket. The match portion before the ending was better than I remember, but the rest is just so dumb. Oh, and we're just getting started. The heels start wheeling his casket to the back when the casket starts smoking.  and then the Undertaker is shown on the screen in the casket. He says that soon everyone will witness the re-birth of the Undertaker and then it's implied that he dies. Then a video of his ghost rises off the screen and out comes Paul Bearer to raise the urn. I'm not sure they could have come up with a worse idea than this garbage. Like I said, the match was more spirited than I remember, but unfortunately the heel attack feels like forever and the rest is just trash. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get some old school Royal Rumble comments from a bunch of the competitors. The most notable thing is that Diesel and Shawn Michaels are interviewed separately. 

Royal Rumble Match

We start things off with #1 Scott Steiner and #2 Samu of the Headshrinkers in a half of a rematch from WrestleMania IX. The crowd is surprisingly dead for this, which just kind of goes to show how badly they wasted both of these teams. I 100% completely forgot that they actually showed the Casio logo over the countdown clock for this Rumble. #3 is Rick Steiner and it's still pretty dead. Maybe it's because they just saw someone die. Samu comes off the ropes, but the Steiners avoid him and he gets his head stuck in the ropes. The Steiners unceremoniously eliminate him as #4 Kwang comes down to no reaction. He sprays the green mist and attacks. Out at #5 is Owen Hart to some boos. I really don't understand why it took so long for them to start using the entrance music for each entrant. Owen eliminates Rick in a pretty dull fashion and goes to work on Scott. Out at #6, it's Bart Gunn and nothing happens. Out at #7 is Diesel to finally add some life to this match. Diesel attacks everyone and then dumps out Bart. He then dumps Scott, Owen and Kwang, which wakes up the crowd. #8 is Bob Backlund, who runs out to the ring. He tries to lift up Diesel and almost eliminates him, but Diesel is able to retaliate and then gets rid of Backlund. Billy Gunn is in there next and before you know it, he's gone. We go to the back and it's Tenryu and Kabuki attacking Lex Luger backstage. Our tenth competitor is Virgil, who Vince says is an alternate for Kamala. Diesel looks a little irritated by Virgil and then dumps him over quickly. At #11, it's Randy Savage and he brings it to Diesel. Jeff Jarrett and his dorky headband are next and he goes after Savage. He dumps Savage over, but he's able to hang on and Savage eliminates Jarrett. That's a little surprising. Lucky 13 is Crush and he runs down to go after Savage. Crush eventually gets Savage out and now Doink is in at #14. He watches Crush and Disesl go at it, but then turn their attention to him .Doink sprays Diesel with water, but the big men team together and hit a double clothesline. #15 is Bam Bam Bigelow and he of course goes after Doink. Bam Bam gorilla presses him out of the ring and then Crush and Diesel attack Bam Bam from behind. It's now Mabel's turn at 16 and he gets his chance to knock around the other huge men in the ring. Up at #17, it's Sparky Plugg, who is filling in for 1-2-3 Kid. He tries to go after Diesel's knee, but he no sells it and just starts choking him. In at 18, it's Shawn Michaels as we finally are getting some star power in here. There's a Mount Rushmore of mullets in there with Shawn, Diesel, Holly and Crush. Diesel is eliminated and I really can't emphasize how poor of a job they are doing with the eliminations in this match. It doesn't help that McMahon and DiBiase aren't doing a very good job either. #19 is Mo and both Men On A Mission members are in there. Imagine thinking that a guy named Sparky Plugg would be successful. Not having Razor Ramon in this match was a mistake. #20 is Greg Valentine and he gets one of the better pops of the night, no joke. Out at #21 is Tatanka and we're up to 8 competitors in the ring. Make it 9 with the addition of Great Kabuki. This match is desperately in need of Luger and Hart and Luger is indeed next. Luger is not selling anything from his attack prior to the match and throws out Kabuki. How are there still 30 minutes left in this show? #24 is Tenryu and no one cares. He and Luger have an uninspired exchange and Michaels teases an elimination. The buzzer rings for #25 and no one comes out, which Vince assumes is Bret Hart. Spoiler alert: It's actually Bastion Booger. Out at #26, it's Rick Martel in his last pay-per-view match for WWF. Lex Luger and Tatanka start brawling and for some reason Michaels breaks it up and meanwhile Tenryu is fighting with Sparky. This match makes no sense. #27 is out and it's a limping Bret Hart. Crush immediately goes after him and works on the knee. The ring is pretty full when Fatu comes out at 28. Crush finally gets eliminated by Luger and Marty Jannetty is out at 29 and he starts brawling with Shawn immediately. Shawn was going for the superkick, but Tenryu accidentally gets involved, notices it and then Marty ducks it and hits one on Shawn. Valentine seems to be on a mission to prove he is relevant still, as he seems to go after anyone while we all wonder why he is still in there. The final competitor is Adam Bomb and he is Vince's pick. If my count is right, there are 13 people left. Why? Sparky is eliminated by Michaels and meanwhile I am still wondering why Mo is in there. Martel finally dumps Valentine out of the match and then Model is eliminated by old rival Tatanka. Adam Bomb was eliminated by Luger and he tries to get in a few cheap shots on his way back to the ring. Bam Bam gets revenge on Tatanka from earlier and throws him over the top rope. More has happened in the last 90 seconds than in the whole rest of the match. Bam Bam misses Luger in the corner and he ends up on the apron and Luger is able to eliminate him. Marty was also apparently eliminated. Bret and Luger throw Michaels and Fatu into each other and then Tenryu goes after Luger. Luger and Bret work together to dump out Tenryu. Your final four are Luger, Bret, Michaels and Fatu. They do a nice sequence where Fatu and Michaels both end up getting thrown over the top at the same time. This leads to the finale with Bret and Luger, where they famously both fly over the top rope together and land at the same time. The referees don't know what to do and as Fink is about to announce it, they play Luger's music. They cut Fink off and then do the same thing with Bret. Both referees then hold up each competitor's arms and then out comes Jack Tunney. Thank God. They finally start showing some replays, but of course none that actually show their feet land. Fink is about to announce it again and then stops to ask Tunney if he's sure. Meanwhile, the crowd is chanting for Bret. Vince then claims that this next replay will be the one and then it's' the worst angle they've shown so far. Fink then takes forever to spit it out that both men are declared the winners. The WrestleMania music plays as both men are trying to get some clarity. After some time, Luger and Hart semi-reluctantly shake hands and head to the back. This was not a good Rumble and I remember actually liking it last time. This was just a glorified battle royal with no flow at all. The final four saved it from being absolutely terrible, but it was far from good. Kudos to Bret and Luger for nailing the finish though.

Match Rating: **

I really wanted to like this show, but it's one of the most frustrating ones in history. The Yokozuna/Undertaker is among the dumbest things in WWF history, the finishes to the other title matches are mind boggling bad and the Rumble is really boring and uninspired until the last 3 minutes. It's a shame because there was some good action in the undercard, but it just isn't enough to overcome the booking.

Overall Rating: 40%