Original Airdate: Saturday, March 5th, 1994
Westchester County Civic Center
White Plains, New York
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Lex Luger vs. Reno Riggins
I'm no Luger fan, but I don't dislike him as much as I thought I would. He really isn't featured as much as I assumed he was during this time. I say that now, but I also know that the dreaded Tatanka feud is not too far away. Johnny Polo hypes up the Reno Plex as one of the most devastating moves in wrestling. Luger tosses Riggins around, but Riggins gets in a thumb in the eye and gets in some offense. Riggins goes for a cartwheel splash in the corner, but Luger hits him with a clothesline. Luger puts him in the Torture Rack and that is all.
Match Rating: 1/4*
It's time for Update with Gorilla Monsoon. Don't forget to Monday Night Raw Prime Cuts and Royal Rumble on VHS. He spends like 5 minutes hyping up the Fan Festival. They even have him read the times, which are right on the screen. Then we go onto the Paramount Theatre viewing. Superstars was just an infomercial.
We get a WrestleMania Moment and it's Undertaker with the vulture at WrestleMania IX.
Dan Dubiel vs. Jeff Jarrett
The guest ring announcer is some kid wearing a Doink shirt and a Bret Hart hat that is 5 sizes too small for his head. Speaking of Doink, Jarrett's outfit looks like a hippie version of Doink's. Jarrett talks about WrestleMania and *ha ha ha* your match is going to get cut. Jarrett's squashes are usually pretty good, but this isn't one of them. He hits a DDT and that is all.
Match Rating: 1/4*
It's my buddy Stan Lane here with Face To Face. Lane drops a NOT joke. Whose idea was it for Crush to cut so many promos? The best part is that you can tell Crush thinks he is just killing it here. Randy Savage lets us know that WrestleMania is the anniversary of WrestleMania.
Doink vs. Brooklyn Brawler
This match kind of feels like this match is in slow motion. Why did this match get so much time? Doink hits a body slam and into the Whoopee Cushion and that is all thankfully.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Sy Sperling shows what he can do for Doink and Dink. Comedy gold.
Diesel vs. Rich Myers
Diesel hits a big boot and hits the Jacknife for the quick and easy victory. That's exactly what it needed to be.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Time for Todd Pettengill's WrestleMania Report. We're at the point now where there are no more announcements to make. We get a Jim Cornette promo and did you know that there are two WWF Championship matches? Shawn Michaels says that WrestleMania is a day that you have to strive to survive. Isn't that the Survivor Series? Razor Ramon says that he'll have all the gold. There still is no announced opponent for Alundra Blayze.
Bushwhackers vs. Cory Student & Mike Khoury
If you think it's weird that the Bushwhackers are here in 1994, just wait until I get to 1996. Student has to be one of less impressive jobbers from this era. A Battering Ram thankfully finishes this match.
Match Rating: 1/4*
It's time for the Funeral Parlor and Owen Hart is the guest today. Again, we get a repeat promo of what we have been hearing for weeks now. With that being said, Owen's have been much better.
Crush vs. Todd Mata
Crush has no heat and they didn't even bother to doctor it with fake boos. A couple of kicks and his finisher end it for Crush.
Match Rating: 1/4*
More Face To Face, which means more Stan Lane. As if this episode couldn't suck any more than already does. The Quebecers try to save the show, but no 60 second promo could do that. Men On A Mission get a promo and I completely forgot what Mo's voice sounded like.
Next week we get Men On A Mission, Owen Hart, Tatanka and Earthquake vs. Bastion Booger. There will also be a special interview with Lex Luger and Bret Hart.
This episode is easily among the worst I have seen of Superstars. Nothing happened, the squashes were bad and there was too much Stan Lane. Don't waste your time on this one.
Overall Rating: 26%
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