Monday, June 19th, 2006
Blue Cross Arena
Rochester, New York
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Vince talks about his failures with Triple H the last few weeks and the DX reunion. He says that it will be the destruction of DX instead. A guy brings him a live chicken because Vince loves cocks. Get it? Then a guy dressed up in an alien Halloween costume follows him. Vince gives him a look and he walks away. Then some male strippers come and dance for him, including the debut of Big Dick Johnson. Get it? We get a Skinner sighting and then Dusty Rhodes asking Vince what's going on. Dusty promotes his DVD instead. Vince then has something delivered to him and it's a penis pump. Vince then walks out and says he's going to destroy DX. Shane McMahon comes out and tells him that Stephanie is going into labor. After JR and Lawler talk a bit, we go back to Vince and Shane getting into a limo. Vince tells Coach that he is in charge and then says that Stephanie has always had the worst timing of anyone he knows.
They show Torrie Wilson behind the scenes of her WWE Magazine photo shoot.
Bra & Panties Tag Team Match
Torrie Wilson & Maria vs. Candice Michelle & Mickie James
Man, this episode couldn't be any more 2006 if it tried. Torrie and Candice start the match off and a sunset flip and reversal leads to Candice getting her shirt ripped off. Mickie is in and pulls off Torrie's pants. Maria is tagged in and Mickie hits a flapjack and rips off Maria's shorts. She rips off her shirt and then Torrie's. At least it was quick. After the match, Mickie hits a clothesline on Candice and rips off her shorts. In a WrestleMania 12 call back, Mickie tells Candice to get out of her ring. Mickie then grabs JR's hat and then takes a shirt off a female "fan" in the crowd. Well, I can't say that wasn't a random idea.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Viscera vs. Charlie Haas
Haas is already in the ring in case you were curious as to how much respect they show him. Before the match, Viscera says he's giving Haas one more opportunity to apologize to Lilian Garcia. Haas says that she already did accept his apology and he tells him that the two of them went out to dinner. After dinner she accepted his apology over some pillow talk. Garcia is upset at that and Viscera attacks him. Viscera hits a sidewalk slam, but Haas quickly fights back. Haas gets nailed with a clothesline. After an Irish whip, Vis smashes Haas in the corner. All of the Spirit Squad run into the ring and attack both men. The match was nothing worth seeing.
Match Rating: 1/4*
The Spirit Squad calls out DX and they show them standing on the Titan Tron. Triple H takes a dump on them by calling them "just cheerleaders" and says they aren't coming down there just because they call them out to. They said they'll do it when they want to do it and that will be later. They then get green slime dumped all over them and they spray paint the "camera" with DX.
Coach is talking backstage with the Spirit Squad and they talk about taking care of DX. Coach then walks into Vince's office and Paul Heyman is there. Paul wants to negotiate and he wants Edge and Randy Orton to take on Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam. He then also proposes Balls Mahoney vs. John Cena tonight. Coach agrees to both requests. We go to ringside where they are cleaning up the slime and JR and Lawler are as well.
JR and Lawler do an interview with Kane, standing backstage. Kane says he knows exactly who this person is and he's even more demented than he is. Kane struggles to find the words as to what this guy did. The acting here was pretty horrible.
Umaga vs. John McChesney
Umaga hits all of the high notes that he's been hitting for the last couple of months. They really took their time with building him, which was rare for this time.
Match Rating: 1/4*
John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney
Cena is all business tonight and takes it to Balls early. Heyman is at ringside with a chair in support of Balls. Balls hits the Balls punch and a kick to the head. Super Cena battles back and hits a shoulder block. Heyman hands the chair to Balls as Cena is going off the ropes, Cena sees it and hits a drop toe hold and slaps on the STFU for the quick victory. Somehow this was the longest match on the show. Cena turns his attention to Heyman, but in comes Sabu and he throws a chair in the face of Cena. JR is losing it and Sabu hits Cena with the TV monitor. He sets up Cena on the table and hits a springboard leg drop through the table. He got all of that one and Cena is bleeding. The match was nothing.
Match Rating: 3/4*
Randy Orton vs. Snitsky
This is about as random as it gets. Snitsky actually gets to hit a couple of clotheslines, a side suplex and a running shoulder block. Orton catches him with an elbow, but Snitsky goes for a pump handle slam. Orton counters and hits the RKO for the victory. The matches are clearly not the focus tonight.
Match Rating: 3/4*
After the match, Lawler goes to interview Orton about his match tomorrow night and says that he's tougher than Cena.
Carlito is now in the ring and said that he was backstage laughing at the DX stuff, so Coach punished him by giving him a handicap match tonight.
Handicap Match
Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro & Shelton Benjamin
Carlito gets dominated until you guessed it, Benjamin and Nitro start arguing. They start fighting and Nitro clotheslines Shelton over the top rope. Carlito rolls him up, but Nitro rolls through it and gets the semi-surprising win there. Nitro has been booked like such a dud since coming to Raw, so I guess this was the best they could do on short notice. After the match, Carlito and Shelton brawl, leading to Carlito hitting the Back Stabber. This was hardly a match.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Coach is now in Vince's office and it's been vandalized. DX is there to show it off. DX then offers to watch the rest of the show with Coach.
Maria is now with Eugene backstage. Eugene says that Hacksaw is at home resting. In walks Rob Conway. No, seriously. He says something They pretend to leave and then throw Coach through the wall. They pull down his pants and he's wearing a G string and spray paint his butt. Oh boy.
The Highlanders visit a motel and then watch adult films.
Edge vs. Ric Flair
Mick Foley is your guest announcer and says that he's going to stink up the joint at Vengeance. Edge goes off the second turnbuckle, but gets hit with a chop on the way down. Edge goes for a shoulder in the corner and hits the ring post instead. Edge grabs a chair and it distracts the ref, allowing Flair to hit a low blow and get a 2 count. Flair hip tosses Lita into the ring and then goes back to Edge. Lita distracts the ref and Foley puts on the Mandible Claw. Edge hits the Spear and that's all. This is Vince Russo era Raw here. Out of nowhere, RVD is here and hits a kick off the top rope. That was at least fun.
Match Rating: 3/4*
The Spirit Squad rallies up a bunch of heels and tells them they all need to go after DX.
DX makes their official return and do their entrance. They start cutting a promo on the Spirit Squad and are interrupted by their music. A group of little people come out dressed in their gear. They beat them up, but Triple H thinks they came up a little bit short there. Triple H then brings out his Spirit Squad and it's obnoxious females. They do a cheer and take off their tops to expose DX bras. This brings out the real Spirit Squad and their back up. Unfortunately for them, their back up leaves and they beat up the two of them in the ring. The little people come back in the ring and moon them with Suck It on their butts. What a time to be alive.
This was a really bizarre show and one that really reminded me of what 2006 was like. The transition between the Attitude Era and PG Era was really just a hodgepodge of recycled ideas. There really was no wrestling to speak of and it didn't do that great of a job building towards Vengeance. It really just felt like it was all for that last segment, which was kind of just there. On the bright side, it mostly flew by and wasn't all terrible.
Overall Rating: 49%
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