Monday, January 8th, 2007
Scottrade Center
St. Louis, Missouri
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
We get a lengthy recap of the DX/Rated RKO match from New Year's Revolution.
John Cena is here to kick off the show. He talks about how Armando Estrada went on WWE.com last night and called Umaga's loss a fluke. Cena says it was no fluke. He's willing to give Umaga another match here tonight. Out comes Jonathan Coachman and he says that he's given Umaga the night off tonight. Cena's not buying it. Coach says it again that he has it off, but Cena does not. Cena's title will not be on the line, but he will be facing Raw's newest acquisition, Great Khali. The hits just keep on coming. He comes down to the ring to have a staredown. One thing of note is that Daivari is not with him here.
We got to Vince McMahon and he talks about matches that have changed things forever and tonight will be no different with Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell.
We come back from commercial and "Rosie" is here. Vince gives her a Fudgie the Whale cake and she eats it. Vince honestly thought that people actually wanted to watch this. Anything Vince has ever done is so rarely funny and it never is when he tries to be funny. The only time it's actually funny is when he doesn't know he's a joke.
Intercontinental Championship Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra
No robe for Kenny tonight. Hardy hits one of the better baseball dropkicks I have seen him hit before hitting a dive over the top into the commercial break. When we come back, Kenny has Hardy in a rest hold. Hardy makes a comeback and hits Whisper In The Wind for a 2 count. Hardy runs into a boot, but Kenny goes off the second rope and runs into Hardy's boot. Johnny Nitro is out and grabs Hardy's leg when running the ropes. The distraction allows Ric Flair to come from behind and deliver a low blow on Kenny. Hardy hits the Swanton for the victory. This was basically a squash with a storyline reason. Kenny continues to just exist.
Match Rating: *1/2
They show "Rosie O'Donnell" eating a donut outside the Diva's locker room and she sneaks in. I can pretty much guarantee this episode gets one of the lowest scores I have ever given.
They talk about Triple H's injury again from New Year's Revolution. He went down to Alabama and they diagnosed a torn quad and that he will be out 4-6 months after surgery.
"Rosie" is with Maria and Candice Michelle. She drops her pictures on purpose so that she can watch Maria bend over.
Todd Grisham is with Great Khali, but first we see the impact he has had on WWE, which is zero. They then have him talk, which you can't understand.
Melina & Victoria vs. Maria & Mickie James
Maria hits a Bronco Buster because apparently that was the only move they could teach women to do during this time period. Victoria accidentally hits Melina and all things have kind of broken down. Maria and Melina are in the ring. Melina hits some sort of finisher that is botched and picks up the victory. This was your usual rushed women's match from this era.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We get a guy who looks absolutely nothing like Donald Trump getting hairspray put on. JR has to put over that it's actually him. Embarrassing.
Vince McMahon is out to introduce this pathetic excuse for TV. They are treating this as if it is an official match, but I won't be reviewing it as such. The crowd is booing it before it begins. Rosie goes and eats more cake. Rosie almost wins after Trump can't hold her up and she falls on him. The kickout causes the crowd to boo. Rosie gets a cake to the face and Trump hits a diving headbutt for the victory. This was absolutely some of the worst television WWE has ever done, which takes a lot.
Carlito vs. Chris Masters
You know the show is bad when you are almost happy to see this match again. We get some back and forth action before Masters hits a gorilla press. Out comes Torrie Wilson to check on Carlito. Masters dominates with some boring offense like a bear hug. Carlito hits a dropkick and puts Masters on the apron. Torrie for some reason hits Masters with the ring bell in the butt. Carlito hits the Backstabber and that's all. Next.
Match Rating: 3/4*
Rated RKO are out, with Orton sporting a neck brace. They give some props to DX, but they claim that they ended DX. Next week, they are going to face Shawn Michaels in a handicap match and say that DX is officially on life support. Out comes Shawn Michaels and he says he's out here out of respect for the fans to address if DX is done and he's not sure. He says that he will take care of them next week.
Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
This match lost me instantly. JTG gets a hot tag and hits a few dropkicks. The finish comes when JTG fakes an injury so that Shad can smash Murdoch's face into an exposed turnbuckle behind the referee's back for the victory. That actually is a halfway decent finish that was wasted on a 3 minute match before the main event.
Match Rating: 1/2*
WWE 24/7 talks about the debut episode of Monday Night Raw.
We go back to "Rosie" crying and Ron Simmons does his thing.
Jerry Lawler is with Vladimir Kozlov and he says that he can beat both Great Khali and John Cena.
Eugene is talking about John Cena beating Umaga and here comes Great Khali, who scares Eugene away.
Great Khali vs. John Cena
Armando Alejandro Estrada is your guest commentator here. They barely have a match here before Estrada goes and grabs a chair. Cena rips it from his hand and hits Khali with it for the DQ ending. Khali basically no sells it and hits his double armed chokeslam on Cena. Estrada gets on the turnbuckle and starts motioning for Umaga. He comes through the crowd and hits the butt splash in the corner. He hits the Samoan Spike and we're finally done.
Match Rating: 1/4*
If you needed a reminder of how garbage Vince McMahon was, I present you exhibit A. This was an absolutely god awful episode of Raw, with really only the RKO/Shawn Michaels segment really accomplishing anything. You don't need to watch this.
Overall Rating: 16%
No comments:
Post a Comment