ECW 5-22-07 Review

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
Wells Fargo Arena
Des Moines, Iowa

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Snitsky vs. Tommy Dreamer

Me: "Let's see if ECW can at least be better than Raw."
Also me: "Nope."

Why did we think we needed this Snitsky run? He can't even get a reaction in Iowa. Dreamer hits a few moves on the big man and his DDT even gets about 20 fans to cheer. Snitsky catches Dreamer with a clothesline when he goes off the top rope. He hits a big boot and that's all. That was terrible. Snitsky grabs a chair and then drives Dreamer into the corner. Out comes Rob Van Dam and he hits a top rope kick into the chair on Snitsky. We get lots of angry head nodding from Snitsky as he heads to the back. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Kevin Thorn vs. Wyatt Lara

The hits just keep on coming. At least they got the memo on this one. Thorn hits his big moves and wins. No one wants to see anything more than that. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Elijah Burke is talking strategy with Marcus Cor Von and Matt Striker tries to talk to them. Burke blames Striker for his loss at Judgment Day. He tells him he has to face one of the Major Brothers and if he doesn't win, they're going to have a problem. Striker says he will get it done. 

Matt Striker vs. Brett Major

We get Zack Ryder here tonight. Tazz is impressed with Striker's back suplex. Majors gets a sunset flip for a 2 count. Striker just hits a bunch of moves and wins. I mean, I guess he looked fine. But again, no one cared, even in Iowa.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Oh good, a recap of the 2 hours of Lashley and Vince. 

Rob Van Dam & CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von

We get the pretty standard pre-commercial break stuff with CM Punk getting a hot tag and cleaning house. When we come back, we get the pretty standard heels are working over the babyface. RVD is finally able to find a way to tag Punk and he goes right after Burke. RVD tries to hit a dive, but he misses and hits the floor. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep, but Cor Von breaks it up and then hits him with the Pounce. That's a DQ? People do that in every tag match. After the bell rings, he hits the Pounce on RVD to some boos. It's about time they gave some shine to Cor Von. This was a very vanilla match unfortunately. 

Match Rating: **

2007 just continues to be a disappointment for me. This show was full of stuff no one cared about and even the main event that was interesting on paper, disappointed. Maybe next week, but probably not.

Overall Rating: 38%

Off The Grid, Volume 51: Saturday Night's Main Event XXIII Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, October 14th, 1989
Riverfront Coliseum
Cincinnati, Ohio

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Off The Grid, Volume 51:

Obviously, we start off with the quick-paced interviews that we have come to know and love from Saturday Night's Main Event. This time we get Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Bushwhackers, Ted DiBiase and Zeus and Hulk Hogan. We then go to Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon. 

We get a clip of Randy Savage being crowned King. Jesse is now with Savage and Sherri. It almost gets lost in the shuffle of how great Savage was with the King gimmick. Mean Gene is with the likely murderer and as usual, he cuts a garbage promo. 

Randy Savage vs. Jimmy Snuka

Savage attacks Snuka as he leaps into the ring, but as you would expect, Snuka gets the hot start. A Sherri distraction allows Savage to regain control. Savage hits the top rope double ax handle to the floor and Sherri gets in a few cheap shots. Sherri and Savage is the all time unhinged duo in wrestling history. Snuka puts his hands on the ref and doesn't get disqualified. Sherri hands her purse to Savage and then distracts Snuka and he hits him with it. He rolls him up and gets the victory. In true Snuka fashion, he kicks out just after 3. After the match, Savage misses with a top rope elbow drop. Snuka hits a body slam and goes up top. Sherri gets in the way of him. He leaps over her and hits a headbutt on Savage. Yeah, you definitely need to protect this jobber who will go on to do absolutely nothing the rest of his career. The match was fine because of the chaos that Savage brings to every match.

Match Rating: *3/4

We get the quick backstory of Zeus and then go to he and DiBiase. DiBiase cuts the same promo he cut for like 8 years and then Jesse makes some comment about Donald Trump whipping Merv Griffin. It looks like it was another case of Trump being an absolute sleaze, as usual. 

Speaking of sleaze, here's Hulk Hogan. He talks in terms of money and refers to God as the "big bank teller in the sky" because why not? 

WWF Championship Match
Ted DiBiase vs. Hulk Hogan

I wasn't watching at this point, but I know that there is no chance that I would have thought DiBiase had any chance here. Not that anyone reads this, but did anyone out there at this time consider him a threat to Hogan's title? I'm genuinely curious. Zeus gets involved right away by grabbing Hogan's leg. Just as DiBiase finally gets Hogan down, Jake Roberts is out to watch Hogan's back. That distracts DiBiase and Hogan rolls him up for 2. We come back from commercial and we are back to DiBiase slowing down the pace. He hits an elbow off the second rope and that's not enough. We get a double clothesline spot and both men are down. Hogan is up first, but he runs the ropes and gets hit by Zeus in the back. Hogan makes his comeback, so Zeus just comes in the ring and grabs Hogan. Hogan ducks and rolls up DiBiase for the victory. He and Zeus are about to go at it in the ring, but then DiBiase attacks from behind. He tells Zeus to break his neck and Zeus and he wrenches it. DiBiase then puts on the Million Dollar Dream. Hogan is out, but then Jake comes back out to have them scurry off. This was everything you have seen a million times and I just couldn't find a way to care about it. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

They show Rick Rude attacking Roddy Piper and then we go to Bobby Heenan and Haku. Showing that video is code for Haku is about to get squashed.

Piper is with Mean Gene and he welcomes back to Saturday Night's Main Event. Piper says he makes Hurricane Hugo look like a summer breeze. 

Haku vs. Roddy Piper

They start brawling right off the bat and Piper clotheslines Haku over the top. He then hits a Thesz press off the apron. Piper then goes after Heenan and he leaps like I don't think I've ever seen Heenan leap. This is Haku's opening and he hits a reverse elbow to Piper's jaw. Haku hits a shoulder breaker and gets a 2 count. Haku misses the top rope headbutt and Piper slams Haku's head into the mat. Piper hits a belly to belly suplex and that's the finish? That was lame. I'll never understand why Haku was the easy opponent all the time during this era. Piper was very over here though. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

DiBiase is sick and tired of Jake Roberts. He's not the WWF Champion because of him and he'll pay the price. Zeus then yells and no one cares.

Mean Gene is with Rick Martel and Slick. Any time I can hear a Slick promo, I am here for it. 

Tito Santana says he is never surprised by Martel, arriba!

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana

Hearing Martel come out to Slick's music is bizarre. Akeem, Big Boss Man, Jimmy Hart and Honky Tonk Man are out with Martel. Tito then brings out his amazing team of Red Rooster, Brutus Beefcake and Dusty Rhodes. This is the reason I wanted to see this show so bad. I love both of these guys and I don't believe I ever have seen any of their post breakup matches. We get a quickly paced beginning, as you would expect from these two. Dusty wearing the Boss Man hat is great. After a crossbody for 2, Martel is able to bait Tito and throw him into the turnbuckle. Tito comes back and hits a back body drop. He hits the forearm, but Slick distracts him by jumping up on the apron. The partners get up on the apron and out comes another referee as we go to commercial break. When we come back, things have settled down and Martel is working on Tito. Tito falls to the outside and Martel is flexing in the ring. Martel goes for the Boston crab, but Tito is able to grab the ropes. Martel climbs up top, but Tito shakes the ropes and crotches Martel. Tito goes for the Figure Four and again Slick is on the apron. Tito knocks him off and then Boss Man levels Tito. It turns into a brawl with all eight men as the bell rings. They call it a double disqualification, but honestly Tito should have been the winner. The action was good and the crowd was into it, so naturally we never got a pay per view match between these two. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

We get more Piper making fun of the Heenan family. 

The Rougeau Brothers don't get an interview, but the Bushwhackers do. Naturally, they lick Mean Gene.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Bushwackers

Jimmy Hart was always so good in these comedy matches. The Bushwhackers pull off the pants of Hart and he clearly is wearing something under his Rougeau themed boxer shorts. He runs to the back and the Rougeaus attack. Jacques hits a leaping elbow on Butch, but then accidentally hits a knee on Raymond. In comes Luke and he hits a clothesline on Jacques. Double noggin knocker and then they hit the Battering Ram. They hit the double gut buster and that's all. What a travesty. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Just in case you weren't sick enough of Hogan, here he is again. He hypes up Survivor Series and Gene promises more to come. Which by that is just Jesse and Vince recapping things. Vince then hypes up more to come, which again is now them just saying bye. 

I still do really enjoy these SNME recaps, but I was more annoyed by Hogan than usual. Savage, Tito and Martel all did a great job in their roles though and the pace is always good for these shows. It just wasn't as good as some of the other ones I have reviewed.

Overall Rating: 70%

Monday Night Raw 5-21-07 Review

Monday, May 21st, 2007 
Mark Of The Quad
Moline, Illinois

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Bobby Lashley is here to kick off the show. He says that since he has to beat Vince McMahon in order to win the ECW Championship, he proposes the match tonight. Out comes Vince, Shane and Umaga. Vince declines and says that he is on to One Night Stand, where every match will be Extreme Rules. He will defend his match in a Street Fight with the #1 contender, the Blue Meanie. Lashley doesn't understand why it's not him. Shane interrupts Vince and says that Vince will take him on because he is invincible in Street Fights. Vince then says that Lashley has to run the gauntlet. I don't think I could possibly care any less than I do about any of this. 

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

Was the match at Judgment Day so good that they had to do the rematch the very next night? Carlito is aggressive to start and works on the arm of Flair that he worked on in the aforementioned match. Flair comes back with some chops and goes to work on the leg. Carlito hits a thumb to the eye and clotheslines both Flair and himself over the top. They brawl outside and we get a double countout. Before the announcement can be made, Carlito attacks Flair some more. He then spits his apple in Flair's face and walks to the back. This was just storyline for an angle that just needs to be put to rest. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Melina vs. Candice Michelle

Usually when someone has to keep telling you they're improving at something, it means they aren't. In this case, it's Jim Ross continuing to tell us how much better Candice Michelle is at wrestling. She does 3 moves and they act like she is capable of main eventing WrestleMania. She hits a surprise pinfall and gets the victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Great Khali is backstage and looks to be upset. 

Bobby Lashley vs. Chris Masters

There aren't many lower honors that you can have than being the first mystery opponent in a gauntlet match. Masters actually dominates early on and gets the Master Lock put on. They remind us that Lashley is the only one to break the hold. Lashley is able to break it by grabbing the rope this time. We all know it's not going to last and of course Lashley hits a Spear and wins. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

The Hardys vs. Johnny Nitro & Kenny Dykstra

This is the Raw debut of Dykstra teaming with Nitro. I actually did think they had potential as a team, but of course WWE lost interest in tag teams again. I think the most underrated aspect of Nitro's career is that he always went all in when he tagged with someone. He is truly one of the best tag team wrestlers of the last 20 years in WWE. The Hardys pick up the quick win and then The World's Greatest Tag Team run into attack the Hardys. They were watching at ringside and then Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch come in and make the save. They celebrate together and no attack. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

The Great Khali is out and Ranjin Singh is along with him. They talk about being cheated last night and that he knew his foot was under the rope. They show the footage and it is in fact correct. He says that Cena can't beat him and wouldn't you know it, out comes Cena. Cena says that two things are true. One is that Khali's foot was under the rope and the other is that he made Khali tap out. Cena says he isn't scared of Khali anymore and can beat him anywhere in the arena. He wants a rematch and they go at it. Khali destroys him and stands over him. 

Bobby Lashley vs. Viscera

Just a reminder that Lashley is supposed to be on ECW. Speaking of which, how was Viscera not on ECW? Lashley hits a body slam and gets a 2 count. Viscera hits a sidewalk slam and does his signature rolling kick. Lashley battles back and hits the Spear for the victory. Vince is upset backstage. He truly thought that people that never win on TV would beat Lashley. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler talk about Shawn Michaels concussion from last night and pretend like WWE cares about concussions. Out comes Randy Orton and we get a video package. He says that all he did was take advantage of a weakness like any professional would have done. He beat Shawn Michaels not because of a concussion, but because he is the Legend Killer. How is there still 20 minutes left in this show? 

Vince is talking to Umaga, getting him ready for Lashley. 

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

This is just too much Lashley for this variation of him. This is his third match of the night, so naturally Umaga is taking advantage of that. He hits a Samoan drop. Lashley makes a comeback while JR insists that Umaga weighs more than 350. Lashley gets hit with a kick when he leaps off the apron and then Umaga hits Lashley in the head with a chair. Like I said, WWE cared a lot about concussions. Lawler for some reason is shocked that Lashley won the match by disqualification. At this point, I don't think anyone cares about anything. They are completely on autopilot here. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They show that Umaga hit a Samoan Spike during the commercial break.

Bobby Lashley vs. Shane McMahon

Lashley is having a hard time getting to his feet to start the match, but he does and the bell rings. Shane takes advantage and the action goes outside. Umaga wants to hit him with a chair again, but the McMahons talk him out of it. They send Umaga to the back and Lashley comes back with a spinebuster. Shane comes back with a DDT and gets a 2 count. Shane puts on the Boston Crab, but Lashley powers out of it. Shane is back on the attack and then hits a second rope elbow drop. He now goes to a Camel Clutch. Lashley gets out and goes for a powerslam, but Shane gets out of it. He goes up top, but Lashley hits him with the Spear in midair and wins. That means he will face Vince at One Night Stand. Good riddance to this Raw. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

This was an atrocious episode of Raw after a boring pay per view. That's not how it's supposed to work. This was way too much Lashley and absolutely no drama whatsoever. The roster feels so thin at this point and there are very few interesting things going on for Raw. 

Overall Rating: 19%

Monday Nitro 9-11-95 Review

Monday, September 4th, 1995 
Knight Center
Miami, Florida

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So apparently because NXT moved to CW Network, NXT episodes are no longer available on Peacock. So I guess that timeline is on hold until further notice. At least I ended on a high note at TakeOver. 

Here at Nitro, Eric Bischoff hypes up the match of the century with Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger and we get Steve McMichael in the booth for the first time. They show Luger's shocking return last week. They announce that Vader is no longer available to be on Hogan's team this weekend. 

Sabu vs. Alex Wright

Even though I have seen this before, it still feels so bizarre that Sabu is in 1995 WCW. They stick him in with 20 year old Wright and pray that he can survive. Sabu hits a dive over the top early on and surprisingly doesn't get a better reaction with it. He sets up Wright on the barricade and does the leap from a chair, but Wright is able to move. Wright hits a dropkick and throws him back in the ring to hit a missile dropkick. Sabu tries to go up top, but Wright meets him there and hits a superplex. Wright hits a German suplex into a bridge and gets a 2 count. Sabu's lack of psychology is on display here and he just gets up from it and hits a victory roll type move from the top rope for the victory. Sabu attacks Wright after the match and drops him face-first on the apron. Sabu then grabs a table and sits Wright on it. He hits a reckless dive that looks good for no one and then they reverse the decision, disqualifying Sabu. This was something. 

Match Rating: *1/2

The crowd is pretty hyped up with Mean Gene in the ring and he brings out Ric Flair. He talks about how Arn Anderson was with his family instead of running around with Flair. Probably a good choice. He tries to hype up his match with him Sunday, but out comes Lex Luger. I'm not really sure what the point of this was because nothing happens. 

They hype up Fall Brawl, but no match rundown like we get with the Toddster. 

VK Wallstreet vs. Sting

Bischoff asks Heenan about the "VK". Gee, I wonder. Bischoff then spoils the Raw matches for the first time. McMichael then says that he and his football buddies don't watch football, they watch wrestling. Sting hits a quick hip toss and some dropkicks to start the match. Sting mostly dominates the match here and hits a top rope crossbody for the victory. What was the point of even bothering with Wallstreet? The match was just an extended squash. 

Match Rating: *

Scott Norton vs. Randy Savage

McMichael says that Norton would have been a guard if he was a football player and I have to agree there. Norton attacks Savage as soon as he walks in the ring and still has his jacket on. Norton catches Savage off the top rope and squeezes for a second before throwing him to the ground. Norton hits a powerbomb and gets a 2 count. Norton hits a power slam and gets another 2 count. Bischoff tries to do the serious voice telling us that Savage is hurt. Norton hits a draping DDT from the top rope and climbs to the top rope. Savage catches him and slams him face-first to the mat. Savage makes the comeback and then out comes the Dungeon of Doom. Avalanche falls on top of Norton's legs. Savage hits the top rope elbow and pins him with Avalanche still on top of him. Norton isn't happy about it after. Bischoff called him Avalanche despite him wearing the Shark gear. I'm not sure a single person cares. The match was fun, as is usually the case with Savage matches. 

Match Rating: **

WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

I'm trying to remember what the buzz was for this match. They are obviously trying to hype this up as a dream match. I was always such a Hogan hater, that nothing with Hogan was a dream match. We get mostly standard muscle man stuff here. Hogan gives us an early Hulk up and he hits a big boot and a leg drop. In comes the Dungeon of Doom and we have a DQ finish. Macho Man and Sting are out to help try and make a save. I'm surprised they let Hogan hit his finisher so early if this was the way they were going to go. There are still a few minutes left in the show. After the match, Hogan shoves Luger and we go to commercial. This wasn't much of a match.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Mean Gene is in the ring to interview Hogan. He's all fired up about Vader not being in their corner this Sunday. Hogan wants to know why the Dungeon of Doom didn't jump him when they attacked? Savage agrees, but Sting of course sticks up for his buddy. Sting thinks that Luger should be the fourth man, but Savage says he'd rather be down a man. Savage then throws Jimmy Hart under the bus too. Savage sticks with no, but Hogan uses his deciding vote to have Luger on the team. Luger says he'll be their partner, but he wants that title shot down the line. Next week on Nitro, it will be Johnny B. Badd vs. Paul Orndorff and watch Fall Brawl. 

This was the first head to head Raw vs. Nitro and Nitro wins it easily. There was nothing super memorable, but the pacing was good and the storyline progression was better than Raw. 

Overall Rating: 64%