Review #1,000! Smack 'Em Whack 'Em Review

Release Date: Wednesday, April 21st, 1993

After doing 999 reviews of mostly weekly TV and pay per view shows, I thought I might do something a little fun here. I haven't watched one of these videos in a long time, so I figured let's go with this one. This one is famous for the Ric Flair/Bret Hart match, but let's see what else it has to offer. 

Lord Alfred Hayes is here in an old looking house and that we are going to get some tips from the Bushwhackers on remodeling. Hayes was always horrible, but he looks particularly disinterested here. The Bushwhackers get Hayes all dressed up for construction work and then we are being told we will see our first match. 

Berzerker vs. Crush

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to Erie, Pennsylvania and we're stuck with more of Hayes here. Berzerker has always been an old favorite of mine as far as gimmicks that didn't catch on. Crush, on the other hand, is terrible. They do a test of strength and Crush no sells the cheap kicks Berzerker uses and he then shoves him over the top rope. A shoulder tackle from Crush sends Berzerker over the top rope again. We get lots of "Huss" in this match, in case you were wondering. Berzerker is back in and hits a side Russian leg sweep. Crush fights back with right hands but he runs into a big boot. They keep talking about Mr. Fuji not being the manager of Berzerker anymore. The crowd is dead for this, by the way. You'd think you'd want to pick a match that the crowd is into for the opener of a tape where you pick the matches. Berzerker hits a piledriver and it gets a 2 count. Naturally, Gorilla is all over him for the nonchalant cover. Berzerker ties Crush up in the ropes and hits some boots to the face. They kind of just keep crapping on Berzerker most likely because he doesn't work here anymore. Crush comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a backbreaker. Berzerker misses with a dropkick and Crush puts on the stupid finisher and eventually the referee calls for the bell. This wasn't awful, but it also wasn't anything beyond a Superstars match. This was also just a really odd selection for this tape. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We're back with Hayes and the Bushwhackers. The Bushwhackers are measuring for a window and they start smashing the wall with a sledgehammer. 

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Gorilla alludes to the reason this match exists is due to the fact that Repo Man beat Typhoon. Repo gets the early advantage and hits a second rope clothesline. The interesting thing with Repo is that if he were Smash here, you wouldn't consider him an underdog here. Quake comes back and steps on him but then misses with the elbow drop. Repo goes off the top rope and kind of slips. Earthquake is ready for him and then he hits a powerslam. He sets him up for the big splash and nails it for the quick victory. This was another Superstars match. This match was from Dayton, Ohio. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get more Bushwhackers and they find some electrical behind the wall they are trying to demolish. This leads to Hayes being electrocuted with some terrible acting from Hayes. They turn on a light and Hayes appears to be dead, so they pass it on to Mean Gene and Yokozuna. Yes, this is real. 

Mean Gene is with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji at a teppan edo restaurant and Gene tells us that Yokozuna eats 1,500 calories a day. We now go over chopsticks and sushi, which in 1992 was a much more foreign concept to Americans than it is now. Gene eats some wasabi and then we get a video of mostly Yok chowing down on sushi. Yoko polishes off two plates of sushi and that's just an appetizer according to Mr. Fuji. The chef comes out and we get lots of classic Gene reactions here. The chef does many of the tricks you see at a teppan edo restaurant until Fuji says that Yoko wants his food. I can't believe that this is as long as it is. We watch him cook and cut up the meal and lots of Mr. Fuji encouraging Yoko's eating. Gene calls Yoko eating 11 ribeye steaks the most incredible display he has ever seen in his life. Next up is the shrimp. This feels like it is at least 45 minutes long. Fuji calls for dessert and Gene sells it and we're finally done here. 

It's time for the profile on Bret Hart. We go to Gorilla, who is with Bret, who seems really uncomfortable here. He talks about the ladder match with Shawn. This feels very much like public access television. 

Ladder Match For The Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

We're coming to you from Portland, Maine. This is the first ever WWF ladder match (I believe). Shawn gets the early advantage and then goes to get the ladder. He drags it to the ring and then Bret attacks him. We get our first ladder action with Michaels driving it into the gut of Bret in the corner. He tries to get a little momentum and Bret is able to move out of the way. We get our first climb with Bret reaching, but he doesn't get high enough before Shawn is able to pull him off. Bret hits a second rope clothesline to a nice pop from the crowd. Bret then hits a slingshot into the ladder in the corner. Bret tries to climb again and Gorilla is all over him again for not climbing high enough and now both men are down. Both men climb the ladder and the ladder tips over. Bret runs the ropes and Sherri grabs Bret's foot. That allows Shawn to hit the superkick. Shawn grabs the ladder but Bret dropkicks it and sends Shawn to the floor. Bret climbs the ladder and grabs the title to pick up the victory. This was obviously tame by modern standards, but it was very well worked and a good match for a new concept. The crowd was into all of it and that helped as well. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

Gorilla talks to Bret about having more title defenses than any champion in history. He talks about the upcoming match against Kamala. Bret says that he would take on all contenders. 

WWF Championship Match
Kamala vs. Bret Hart

Why would they pick this match? Kamala comes out to an introduction by Dr. Harvey Wippleman and gets absolutely no reaction from the crowd. We also have Sean Mooney instead of Gorilla Monsoon for this match. Bret gets most of the offense here. Kamala decides to ask Bret for a test of strength. Really? Bret steps on his foot instead. Kamala gets his turn for some offense here and everything about this feels cheap. Hayes is such a terrible announcer and Mooney is not meant to be a play-by-play guy. Bret catches a kick and hits a Russian leg sweep. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and now we have shenanigans. It leads to Kamala accidentally hitting Kimchee and Bret rolls him up for the victory. Kamala attacks him with the weakest looking chops that you'll ever see. He goes for a splash but hits Wippleman instead and Bret clotheslines Kamala over the top rope. This was all bad and I say this as a Bret Hart fan. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Gorilla says that people have been writing into Coliseum Video saying that we want to see the match where Bret won the belt. Can you imagine now if they did a major title change and no one saw it for months? Bret says that he knew he only had one chance to get the title and that there was nothing Ric Flair could do to stop him. He even sprained his ankle and dislocated his finger in this match and it still wasn't enough to stop him. 

WWF Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

We are in Saskatoon and at least we have Gorilla back here. Hayes and Gorilla both really hype up how good Bret is and that's a rare win from the commentary here on this tape. We get a pretty slow start to the match and some stalling from Flair. If you ever wanted to see Flair's butt, well this is the match for you. It wakes up the crowd and Bret destroys Flair after working on the arm of Flair for a few minutes. Bret goes to work on the leg and then slaps on the Figure Four. After getting out of that, Flair finally gets some offense and quickly puts on the Figure Four himself. Bret also escapes but Flair is still working on the leg of Bret. Flair goes up top and that of course doesn't work out well for him, as Bret slams him to the mat. Big back body drop and Bret gets a 2 count. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and gets another 2 while Gorilla wonders why he doesn't go for the Sharpshooter. Flair tries some chops and Bret pulls down the straps and starts leveling him with right hands. Bret props Flair up o the top and hits a superplex. Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter and Flair gives up for a pretty non-WWF Championship match finish there. I have seen a lot of love for this match and of course it was pretty good, but I certainly did not love this nearly as much as most. Having someone win the title at a house show, even in 1992, was a really dumb idea. 

Match Rating: **3/4

Bret promises that he'll always be the people's champion. 

Back to the Bushwhackers and Hayes, who is alive. We get lots of yelling and water. 

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

This is very much still the old school Undertaker. Razor throws the toothpick to the back of Taker's head and heads outside the ring. Taker goes after him and Taker falls for the oldest trick in the book. Taker naturally no sells any of Razor's offense and chokes Razor in the corner. Razor runs into a boot in the corner and hits Old School before it was called that. Taker misses with an elbow drop and Razor clotheslines him to the outside, where Taker of course lands on his feet. Taker snaps Razor's neck on the top rope as the announcers speculate what is in the urn. Razor comes back with a second rope bulldog and Razor decides to hit Taker with a chair to the back and for some reason it's not a DQ. Razor throws him into the steps and back into the ring. Razor hits a body slam and Taker sits right back up. Razor hits a side slam and Razor hits six elbow drops. Paul Bearer is on the apron and Razor snags the urn out of his hands. Razor hits Taker with the urn behind the referee's back but Taker kicks out of the pin attempt with authority. Taker is back on his feet and hits a chokeslam. Razor rolls out of the ring and heads to the back for the countout finish. Undertaker's lack of selling was pretty annoying at this point. The crowd was also pretty dead for this, pun intended. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We had back to the Bushwhackers one last time and they have a wet Hayes sit down in an ugly chair and set up a TV for Hayes to watch some Coliseum videos. Hayes sends us off and we hear some noises and the Bushwhackers say "Oh, no". What an ending.

Well, if you're a Bret Hart fan, this is a must watch because you get to see his non-televised first WWF Championship victory and the first ever WWF ladder match. The ladder match in particular is worth a watch. However, the Yokozuna segment feels like an eternity and Hayes, who is a terrible announcer and actor, is on this tape WAY too much. I don't understand how WWF thought anyone wanted this guy to announce any match. The Bushwhacker segments aren't even fun. One would have been enough. This tape gets a mild recommendation because of the two aforementioned matches, but nothing more than that. 

Overall Rating: 50%

Royal Rumble 1996 Review

Sunday, January 21st, 1996
Selland Arena
Fresno, California

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We get Sunny in a bathtub telling us that viewer discretion is advised. This leads into a solid intro video highlighting Bret Hart/Diesel, Razor Ramon/Goldust and the Royal Rumble. Vince McMahon then screams us into the arena and is joined by Mr. Perfect. 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed runs down to the ring and we're underway. Jarrett sneaks out of the ring and baits Ahmed back into the ring. It doesn't work long and Ahmed hip tosses him across the ring. Ahmed hits a few shoulder tackles and a leaping clothesline. I love Mr. Perfect but announcing is not his strength. Jarrett is able to get Ahmed to leap at him and he goes out of the ring and gets his hand stuck in the ropes. Jarrett is out after him and throws him into the steps. Ahmed starts doing his version of hulking up by no selling Jarrett's double ax handles and explodes with another clothesline. He hits a spinebuster and then hits a dive over the top, kind of. He seemed to have gotten the worst of it. He throws Jarrett in the ring and misses with a somersault off the top rope. I completely forgot that he did that. Jarrett slaps on the Figure Four and the crowd is willing Ahmed into reversing it. Jarrett goes for it again, but Ahmed kicks him out of the ring. Jarrett grabs his guitar and hits Ahmed with it off the top rope for the lame DQ ending. Ahmed chasing Jarrett up the entranceway and we see the replay of the guitar smash. I'm not really sure what the point of booking this match was, since they clearly didn't want either guy to lose here. The match was fine enough for what it was. 

Match Rating: *1/4

Todd Pettengill is backstage with Diesel. He's kind of already back to his usual too cool for school persona rather than the edgy character we were getting. He says that he has no problem with Undertaker, his problem was with him being named the #1 contender. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Body Donnas vs. Smoking Gunns

We get a quickly paced opening with Billy and Skip leading the way. They do a fun spot where Skip and Zip try to pull the top rope to get Bart flipped into the ring. Bart lets go and then pulls both of them over the top and to the floor. We eventually get to a spot where Sunny gets up on the apron and Billy accidentally knocks her to the floor. Billy stops to check in on her and the Body Donnas attack with Sunny celebrating. Bart runs over to make a save but Skip hits a dive into Billy from the ring. The Donnas get a pretty lengthy heat segment until Bill and Bart are able to double team. From there they hit the Sidewinder but the referee is distracted by Sunny. This allows Zip to leap off the top and break up the pin attempt. We get a little bit of a messy finish with the Donnas trying to suplex Bart, but Billy knocks them away and Bart is able to hit an inside cradle for the victory. This was decent but more of a TV match. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Just what everyone wants on pay per view, a Billionaire Ted skit. This leads into a Goldust/Razor hype video narrated by Todd. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust is out with the usher and the debut of Marlena. Vince is drooling over her. We get lots of stalling, sorry, I mean "mind games" to begin. Razor gets aggressive on the arm of Goldust and slaps the back of his head. Mr. Perfect says that if Razor loses the title here tonight, he'll be the sad guy. I didn't know that he brought the dad jokes here tonight. Goldust feels up the chest of Razor and Vince says that was something different. We are then reminded of how young the audience is when you hear a loud "Razor" chant made up of mostly younger kids. Goldust slaps Razor in the face and that prompts a drop toe hold and more slaps to the back of the head. He then slaps him in the butt and that gets Goldust excited. Razor chases after him and Goldust hides behind Marlena. We get some mat wrestling that is interrupted when Razor hits him with a right hand. Goldust blows a kiss at Razor, so Razor clotheslines him over the top rope. Goldust uses Marlena again and attacks Razor from behind. Goldust hits a double ax handle to the back of Razor off the top rope. Vince explains to us that when you throw your opponent's back into something that it hurts the back. I did not know that. Goldust hits a bulldog and then uses the top rope for some extra oomph on a back suplex for a 2 count. Marlena then blows some gold dust into the face of Razor. Goldust puts Razor in the sleeper. Razor gets back on his feet and corners the referee, which allows him to hit a low blow by kicking his leg back. Razor comes back with a chokeslam and gets a 2 count. Razor hits the fall away slam and that also gets a 2 count. This is actually a better match than I remembered. Razor crotches Goldust on the top rope and he hits the back suplex. Marlena is in the ring and acts as if she twisted her ankle. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge but in comes 1-2-3 Kid from the crowd and hits a spin kick from the top rope. Goldust covers him and is your new Intercontinental Champion. I mean, you had to know they weren't going to let Razor lose without some sort of cheap finish, but it seems odd that Goldust and Marlena came up with a plan with the Kid, but I guess in kayfabe all the heels get along. I had remembered hating this match and while this was far from anything special, it was a lot more entertaining than I recalled. 

Match Rating: **

We have finished 3 matches and we aren't even 55 minutes into the show. We hear from Shawn Michaels' doctor, Owen Hart, Jake Roberts, Jerry Lawler, Barry Horowitz, Vader (with Jim Cornette) and Shawn Michaels. That was kind of a weird mix of guys. Why would you have Vader and Jake here rather than their entrances do the talking? Perfect and Vince talk about Duke Droese being #30 after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the Free For All, which means he is #1. They show a clip of him being disqualified for using a foreign object. 

Royal Rumble

Hunter is #1 of course and #2 is Henry Godwinn, unsurprisingly. A big thank you to the WWE for not paying for the rights for Godwinn's music and now we are forever tortured listening to this extremely loud, extremely generic banjo music instead. These two naturally go right at it and we are underway. They keep hyping up how this is the most exciting hour when in reality this match can be less than an hour, but who needs math? #3 is Bob Backlund just in case you needed a reminder of how stupid it is that they are making fun of WCW for how old their wrestlers are. #4 is Jerry Lawler. You know, more New Generation stars here. The heels team up and hold down Godwinn and Lawler grabs the slop bucket. Godwinn fights through it and gets the bucket. The heels go outside the ring, so Godwinn chucks it over the top rope and even gets some on the fans in the front row. Out at #5 is Bob Holly. Are they serious with this beginning? #6 is here and it is King Mabel. Who is going to be able to get him out of the ring? Out at #7 is that young up and comer making his return, Jake Roberts. Now with 100% more vest. He dumps his snake into the ring and everyone flees the ring. He puts it on top of Lawler and then thankfully he has him slide back into the bag with the help of the snake attendant. We get Mabel tied up in the ropes in the Andre spot. They do nothing with it so I'm not really sure what the point of that was? It's time for #8 and it's Dory Funk Jr., who looks 100 years old. Keep in mind that they just showed a video making fun of how old Hulk Hogan and Macho Man were. Dory is 54 years old here. Vince makes it very clear that Lawler has not been eliminated from this match. They find that Lawler is hiding under the ring and we get Yokozuna at #9. How are they going to get him over the top rope? Mr. Perfect questions where Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji are. Yoko dumps Backlund out and then goes after Mabel. Godwinn is behind Yokozuna and Mabel splashes both of them. Mabel hits a big splash on Godwinn and we count down to the 1-2-3 Kid at #10. He's being chased by Razor Ramon into the ring and all around the ring. The officials are able to calm Razor down but Razor is only playing, so he runs in gets his hands on him. Mabel attacks him and now this time Razor goes to the back. I could be wrong, but I believe this is the first time they have done a spot like that in the Rumble, so that's fun. Out at #11, it's the "wild man from Japan", Takao Omori. He comes out to absolutely no reaction prqobably because not a single person knows who he is. I just realized that Jake Roberts here is younger than I am in present day. Out at #12, it's Savio Vega. The crowd knows who he is and he also gets no reaction. He hits a spin kick on Mabel and that gets a reaction from the crowd. Yokozuna dumps Mabel out of the ring and that clears out some space in the ring. Lucky #13 is the man they call Vader. Now we have something to be excited about. Jim Cornette is at his side. He no sells a kick from Holly and starts nailing him with right hands. Talk about a disappointing way to enter the ring. How did they not him do a spot where he dumps 2 guys out? Instead, they have Savio Vega eliminate Funk. Did Art Donovan get in Vince's ear? He asks Perfect how much Vader weighs. #14 is Doug Gilbert and Perfect doesn't know who he is but is excited when Vince tells him. He talks about his history with his brother Eddie. Doug gets some terrible music and his entrance was something my cousins and I cracked up about since he looked like such a jobber. Vader gets rid of Jake for a mild reaction. Oh boy, at #15 it's one of the Squat Team members. Vader gets rid of the Squat Team guy and he's big, so the crowd kind of cares. At #16, it's the other Squat Team member. They meet in the entrance ramp and head to the ring together. Vader goes after both of them and clotheslines one of them over the top and Yokozuna eliminates the other ones. #17 is out and thankfully it's Owen Hart. Yoko and Vader work together to destroy Savio. At #18, it's Shawn Michaels. He naturally goes after Owen and now Vader and Yoko are going after each other. Shawn takes advantage and eliminates both of them. Vader comes back in and starts taking out his aggression on Shawn. Officials finally come out, but Vader dumps Shawn to the floor. They tell us that Shawn is still in the match. Meanwhile, apparently Hakushi is out now, so I guess he is #19. Gorilla Monsoon is in there now and he tells him to get out and Cornette tells him to listen. I love seeing Gorilla in there. #20 is Tatanka and he acts like anyone would care about him. Hakushi hits his cartwheel elbow on Owen. Those two deserved a proper feud. They show the replay of Michaels eliminating Vader and Yoko, which is honestly part of the reason I always laugh when they wonder how anyone will get any big guy out of the ring. Shawn can eliminated 1,000 pounds by himself. #21 is Aldo Montoya. You just can't have a Royal Rumble without Aldo. Perfect jokes that his jock is on the wrong part of his body and Vince just replies with a "I don't know about that". Triple H is in the Rick Martel spot here, as he's still in there. Shawn now leaves the ring and goes under the ring. He comes back and is dragging Lawler out by his legs. Lawler is hanging onto anything he can, but Shawn gets him back into the ring. It's time for #22 and it's Diesel. They surprisingly don't tease a breakup with him and Shawn, instead they trade a few shots. #23 is Kama and Vince tells us that the crowd is enjoying the Royal Rumble as he walks to the ring to no reaction. Why is Bob Holly still in this match? They have no storyline for him after this and I could be wrong, but don't think he's even on a pay per view the rest of the year. Maybe Survivor Series? At #24, it's the Ringmaster. He'll never pan out. For some reason, I really thought he would have a big impact on this match. I was wrong. Finally, Holly is eliminated by Ringmaster. What a way to make the crowd care about him. #25 is the heavy favorite, Barry Horowitz. Diesel just dumps over Hunter sort of out of nowhere. Out at #26 is someone who will definitely not make a difference in this match, Fatu. He hits a big kick on Kama and shoves him in the corner. There really has been a lack of action in a lot of this. I know I seem to feel that way about most of these Rumbles I have reviewed. They tease a suplex elimination spot with Owen and Shawn as we count down to #27 and that's Isaac Yankem. He sucks. Owen hits an enziguri and then somehow Owen is eliminated. #28 is Marty Jannetty, looking as dorky as ever. Marty and Shawn start battling and they both get knocked down. I appreciate the effort, but it felt rushed. #29 is British Bulldog to give us the follow up to last year's Rumble. They show Diana in the crowd and Bulldog eliminates Marty. Perfect realizes they missed Ringmaster get eliminated. Shawn and Bulldog are fighting outside the ring and in comes Owen illegally to attack Shawn. Shawn comes back in and dropkicks Yankem out of the ring. Sorry, I forgot to mention that Droese is #30, as we already knew. He gets eliminated really quickly and Shawn eliminates Bulldog. Kama almost gets Shawn out, but he skins the cat. Diesel eliminates Kama and as he turns around, Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Diesel for the chaotic ending. After the match, Diesel takes out his anger on Bulldog and then is back in the ring with Shawn. The music is now off and Diesel adjusts his glove. He then puts his arm above his head and Shawn does the cheesy high five to prove they are still friends. The finish was never in doubt, as it was clear that Shawn was their guy at this point. The roster still was in bad shape here, especially with having guys like Ahmed Johnson and Razor Ramon in singles matches instead of the Rumble. The action never got too exciting outside of a few spots. 

Match Rating: **1/2

WWF Championship Match
Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

During Undertaker's entrance, Diesel is standing there waiting for him. Diesel shoves Paul Bearer out of the way and they start going at it. They are separated and Diesel is heard saying "I ain't afraid of the dark". Vince says that this is Bret's 43rd pay per view match. Even though I actually did like Undertaker at this point in time. I was 100% behind Bret here. Bret tries to brawl a bit but it quickly gets slowed down and we get dumpy rest holds by Taker. I mean I know they got a lot of time to work with here but I am shocked that Bret was good with Taker slowing down the match so much this early on. Bret makes a little comeback and knocks Taker over the top rope. He hits a dive over the top and starts hitting him with right hands. Taker is able to drive Bret's back right into the post and shift the momentum right back in his favor. Bret is able to toss Undertaker into the steel steps and Bret starts working on Taker's leg. Bret locks in the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The crowd is clapping along but this match is a good example of why a face vs. face match isn't always the best idea. They like both guys too much here to really pick a favorite. Taker reverses it and Bret gets the ropes to break the hold. Bret continues to work on the leg and this one is really dragging. We go back outside the ring and Undertaker starts choking Bret with the microphone cable while Paul Bearer distracts the referee. This actually draws some loud booing from the crowd. Taker then throws Bret into the timekeeper table. Back in the ring, Bret is able to take out Taker's leg and now some of the crowd is booing that. Bret slams Taker's leg into the ring post and goes back to working on the leg. Bret hits a bulldog but then Taker pops right back up. Taker is moving around in this match like it is still 1991 Undertaker. Bret hits the second rope elbow and he gives the symbol for the Sharpshooter and that gets a lot of booing. He goes for the move but Taker grabs him by the throat. They go off the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Bret takes off the top turnbuckle and then removes the mask of Taker. Bret throws Taker's face into the exposed turnbuckle and the ref is good with it as people are booing. I'm sorry, but if you're cheering Taker over Bret, we probably aren't friends. Bret runs the ropes and leaps but Taker catches him and hits him with the Tombstone. Out comes Diesel and he pulls the referee out of the ring. One kid in the front row was so upset when he looked down the entrance aisle and saw Diesel. I love it. They announce that Bret has been disqualified. They booked themselves into a corner and you knew you were getting something like that. Diesel is then shown giving Taker the finger and heads to the back. Taker heads after him with a limp. They play Bret's music as he sells his injuries. Vince wonders if Bret would have been pinned while Perfect is 100% positive he would have. This was a huge disappointment and the crowd not firmly being behind a guy didn't do it any favors. They just worked at such a slow pace and it's a reminder that if Taker isn't working with a guy on his best day, he's not good enough to be considered an all time great. Sorry, just because you wrestled forever and had a bunch of matches where people carried you, it doesn't make you a great wrestler.

Match Rating: **

Now it's time for Royal Rumble Plus. We go to Todd Pettengill and Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla announces that Bret Hart will defend his title against Diesel at In Your House. I'm not sure how in kayfabe that Undertaker wouldn't get another title shot since he would have won but what do I know? Dok is with Shawn Michaels and he says that he has completed phase one. We go back to Todd and Gorilla and in walks Undertaker. He says that it will be a cold day in Hell before Diesel wears the title. Gorilla says he doesn't want what happened tonight to happen again, so he's making it a cage match. Dok is with Diesel and he says that Bret is living and breathing because he allows it. We're getting dorky Diesel again here. We then go to Todd with Jim Cornette and Vader. Vader is slamming things into the lockers and Cornette is just yelling. Now we get a video package of highlights from tonight's show before going off the air. 

Any show that I ordered has some nostalgia for me. I have probably seen this show at least 10-15 times and definitely don't hate it, there just really isn't anything that stands out to make it unique. None of the matches are that great and that definitely hurts it. You would have thought that Taker and Bret could have had a classic with the time they were given, but for whatever reason, it just didn't click. 

Overall Rating: 41%

Off The Grid, Volume 62: Saturday Night's Main Event XII Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, October 3rd, 1997
Hershey Arena
Hershey, Pennsylvania

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Off The Grid, Volume 62:

Honky Tonk Man says he is going to steal Miss Elizabeth, Randy Savage tells us to freak out, freak out, King Kong Bundy talks about Mr. Blunderful, Sika eats a chicken and Hulk Hogan says that Sika can't eat these 24" pythons. 

Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan welcome us to the arena to talk about the title matches and Heenan is all fired up tonight. Mean Gene is with Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart. They make a big deal about Honky demanding to come out first, which is rare for a champion. Uh, have they never watched a WWF show? The heel champ so often comes out first. Honky is pretty great here. As always here on SNME, we see Honky's entrance and then go to Mean Gene with Randy Savage and Elizabeth. Savage says that Honky doesn't know the difference between a guitar string and a g string, which naturally cracks Gene up. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Honky Tonk Man vs. Randy Savage

Heenan says that Elizabeth is attractive in a gaudy way, which infuriates McMahon. I love this era of Savage so much. Honky at this time is pretty great also. Honky telegraphs a back body drop and Savage kicks him in the face before leaping over the top rope to snap Honky's neck on it. Honky regains control and hits the second rope fist to the face. Savage explodes back hitting the double ax handle off the top rope but Jimmy Hart gets involved. Savage turns his attention to Hart and hits him with a right hand to a huge pop. The Hart Foundation are now out to check on Jimmy. They carry him to the back as we go to a commercial break. When we come back Honky is back in the ring and it isn't long until Savage is back in control. Honky rakes the eyes and dumps Savage, which allows the Hart Foundation to attack him. Savage battles back and hits the scoop slam and the top rope elbow drop but Bret Hart runs in and hits him before the referee counts 3. You knew we were getting a cheap finish the second that the Foundation came out. They attack Savage and Honky grabs the guitar. Honky gets set up and takes his time before Elizabeth finally steps in front of him. She begs Honky to stop but Honky shoves her to the mat and then orders her out of the ring. She heads to the back with the cops and Honky finally smashes the guitar on Savage's head after a lot of stalling. Honky dances and out comes Elizabeth with Hulk Hogan. Hogan gets attacked upon entering the ring, but as always, he fights off all three men. Savage pitches in now and they accidentally bump into each other and throw up fists. Savage then reaches out his hand and Hogan shakes hands with him. This whole thing took up over a third of the show and for the most part lived up to that distinction. Savage was super over and Honky is probably the most hated heel at this point. 

Match Rating: ***

We see Sika coming into the ring and then go back to a pre-recorded interview with Mr. Fuji and Sika. Fuji is so happy that Hogan is so tired from his 30 second fight out there. They then show Sika biting the head of the chicken again. We then go to Hogan talking about the madness of him and Savage working together. Hogan says that in the jungle the bigger animals gobble up the little ones. He's ready to tear up the whole tribe. 

WWF Championship Match
Sika vs. Hulk Hogan

Sika gets the better of Hogan and Fuji chokes him with the cane. Fuji then jabs him with the cane but Sika misses the headbutt. Hogan clotheslines him through the ropes because of course he does. Hogan goes after Kimchee and that allows Sika to nail him in the throat. Hogan shoves Sika into the ring post and steals the cane from Fuji. The refs try to take it away from Hogan as we go to the commercial break. Hogan goes for a splash, but Sika gets the knees up. Sika chokes and Fuji gets some more cane action in before we get the inevitable Hulk up moment. He hits the scoop slam and a leg drop for the victory. He then gets in shots on Kimchee and Fuji. I've made it pretty clear on here that I have never liked Hogan, but I did like how involved Fuji was here and Sika played his role well here. 

Match Rating: **

Paul Orndorff is with his new manager, Oliver Humperdink. Why? Orndorff says that he's going to make the fat lady sing the blues. This was not good. We then hear from King Kong Bundy and talk about Heenan staying in the announce booth. Bundy says he has a lot of confidence in his ability. 

Paul Orndorff vs. King Kong Bundy

Orndorff tries to get off to a quick start but then misses with a dropkick. I will never be a fan of the no eyebrows look for Bundy though. Bundy misses an elbow and Orndorff battles back. A second rope elbow drop knocks Bundy down and gets a 2 count. Heenan is shown leaving the announce booth and Orndorff hits a dropkick. Out comes Andre The Giant and Heenan is back to the announce booth. I didn't really expect this match to get as much time as it is. Bundy misses in the corner with the Avalanche. Andre grabs Orndorff's tights and pulls him in the corner to hold him and this time Bundy connects and picks up the victory. I wouldn't classify this as good by any means, but it was definitely better than I was expecting. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Mean Gene is with the Hart Foundation and compares what they did earlier to Pearl Harbor. Uh, not sure that's a great comparison. Gene is so offended by them saying that they are going to punch and slap around the Stallions. Neidhart was good in these interviews. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Young Stallions vs. Hart Foundation

Jimmy is not out here with the Foundation so I'm not sure there's any way that they'll ever be able to beat the legendary Young Stallions. A crossbody by Powers on Bret gets a close call and then Bret quickly shifts the momentum in their favor. Paul Roma gets the hot tag and now all four men are in the ring. Roma hits his nice body slam, but the pin attempt is broken up. That allows the Harts to hit the Hart Attack and get the easy victory here. This was hardly anything. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go back to Gene who is with Hogan and Savage. Hogan says that they may just blow up the planet and we get lots of astronomy talk. They coin the name Mega Powers here, so there's that. 

Now it's time for the world premiere of "Piledriver". If you ever wanted to see wrestlers in construction gear, then this is the video for you. 

We go back to Heenan and McMahon to wrap it up. Heenan is bragging about Andre being his surprise. 

We come back again and they let us know that Jimmy Hart is okay and we sign off with the usual music and highlights. 

This was another good episode of SNME overall. A lot happened in a short time and most of the matches were good. Even for someone like myself who can't stand Hogan is able to get into the story here and be entertained. Thumbs up.

Overall Rating: 73%

Superstars 1-20-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 20th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

We get a Shawn Michaels intro talking about him coming back tomorrow night and that he's going to win the Royal Rumble again. Lots of cheesy Michaels here. Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect and Jim Ross welcome us here to hype up this awesome card we have here today. 

Sid & 1-2-3 Kid vs. Avatar & Aldo Montoya

They are hyping up this new masked tag team that I promise we are going to see so much of. Avatar and Montoya get to work on Kid, which is typical for Kid on Superstars, but I don't understand it as far as building a new heel. Kid finally is able to hit a spin kick but Avatar rolls him up and gets a 2 count. Sid gets in a cheap shot on Montoya even though he ran into the corner for seemingly no reason. Sid tags in and works on Montoya before telling us that no one better touch the Kid. Sid hits a chokeslam and a powerbomb and tags in Kid so that he can come in and make the cover. As far as squashes go, this was a better than usual one. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go to Dok Hendrix and he runs down the card again. We hear from Goldust and he quotes the film Payton Place and talks about spanking Razor Ramon. We then hear from Ahmed Johnson and he is the definition of LOUD NOISES. 

We get a Vader vignette and then Diesel talks about Vader and that it will be Diesel Time at the Royal Rumble. 

Ringmaster vs. Scott Taylor

We get a split screen interview from Ringmaster with laughing from Ted, so naturally Perfect likes it. Ringmaster does the old schtick of pulling off the pin attempt before the referee calls 3 because why not? He slaps on the Million Dollar Dream and between the empty seats in the background and the dead silence, you can guess how this went. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get another Shawn Michaels hype video. I can't help but wonder if he has a shot of winning this Rumble.

Hakushi vs. Jeff Hardy

For some reason we get a promo from Barry Horowitz telling Hakushi that it's every man for themselves in the Royal Rumble, but they are still friends. Hakushi quickly hits the second rope splash for the easy win. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to a cemetery with Paul Bearer and Undertaker. Bearer says that the Creatures of the Night are finally getting what they want when Bret Hart will rest in peace. 

Body Donnas vs. Chaz Warrington & Glen Ruth

They show Sunny's pool vignette as we start to move towards the Attitude Era. I do have to say, it really is hard to tell that it's Tom Prichard without really looking at him. They hype up the Free For All. Two men will draw blanks and those two will have to fight with the winner getting #30 and the loser getting #1. I actually love that idea with the only exception is that it takes away the surprise of #30. They also hype up how Fresno is sold out for Royal Rumble. I'm as shocked as you are. Zip hits a splash off the top for the win. They looked like a competent tag team here. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show Razor Ramon destroying Goldust from Raw on Monday. 

Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo

We get a shot of Yoko's butt and then the obligatory talk of how hard it will be to eliminate him in the Rumble. Vince argues that Apollo has a chance here against Yoko with Perfect. We get an interview with Owen Hart and Jim Cornette with Owen telling him that he better be on his side when he wins the Rumble. We are getting quick squashes here today with Yoko hitting the Banzai Splash for the win. We are very close to Yoko becoming face and he got absolutely no reaction here. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time to go back to Dok for his final chance to get you to buy the Rumble. We hear from Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who talks about refusing to wrestle recently so he can win the Rumble. He's doing his poor fake English accent here. We then hear from Bret Hart and he isn't afraid of him, he just wants to know who is better. 

Isaac Yankem vs. Diesel

How are there still 10 minutes left in this show? Diesel goes right after Yankem because he knows he sucks and the crowd doesn't want to see him. Yankem clotheslines him over the top rope and why is he even getting any offense here? This gimmick was dead before it arrived. Lawler grabs Diesel's leg and that allows Yankem some more offense. Jim Ross talks about the Swat Team and how big they are. One thing's for sure, they will have a huge impact on the company. I know I rag on Yankem/Kane, but in all seriousness, why is this even a fight? Yankem misses with a top rope leg drop. Diesel's comeback doesn't last long and Yankem gets MORE offense. Diesel has had enough and hits the Jackknife for the win. I've seen much worse from Yankem, but still. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Now it's time for more Billionaire Ted. I think it's the same one, but I don't care enough to even check. 

We get one last reminder that the Royal Rumble is tomorrow, and they run down the card. 

This was a typical episode of Superstars with the extra hype for the show tomorrow. The card is actually fairly intriguing, but the Rumble itself lacks star power. I'm still in shock that the Diesel match got more time than the Sid and Kid match, which was a mistake. 

Overall Rating: 38%

Monday Nitro 1-15-96 Review

Monday, January 15th, 1996
Knight Center
Miami, Florida

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

We are welcomed by Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael as always. 

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

They announce that Savage will get a title shot against the winner of tonight's main event. The crowd is very into this one, as you would expect for a pay per view quality match. It really is amazing that Raw was headlined with Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem. I have to say that this arena is an odd set up and doesn't look that great on TV whenever they go away from the standard ring shot. I guess I should start talking about the match, huh? Savage misses with a top rope elbow drop and Luger puts Savage up in the Torture Rack. Savage actually gives up? These are the kinds of things about WCW that were really just not well thought out. You give away a headlining match on free TV and rush through a match and give away a clean finish? Look, I love a clean finish as much as anyone, but Savage submitting should be saved for major events. The match was spirited and the crowd loved it. 

Match Rating: **

We're supposed to get Hugh Morrus and Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman but instead, they all walk out together along with Gene Okerlund and all the other members of their groups. Arn says that there is no financial gain with this match, so they are scrapping the match. Flair being the champion is the main order of business. Sullivan then says that Flair is the greatest champion of all time. Sullivan says that Flair can borrow the Giant at Clash of the Champions. Sullivan then says that he only has a problem with Pillman because he has no respect. Pillman chimes in and Anderson slaps him. 

Public Enemy vs. American Males

Bischoff gets word that they have a standby match and it's the debut of Public Enemy. I remember Public Enemy being such a staple of Nitro when it went to 2 hours (or at least that's what my memory tells me). We get a pretty standard TV tag match to start things off, which feels like a mistake. Bagwell hits a big scoop slam and then a botched looking roll up. Johnny Grunge then rolls him up and holds onto the tights for a really ugly looking finish. After the match, they continue the attack and set up a table outside the ring. They stack a second one on top of it and put Bagwell on it. Rocco Rock does a somersault dive from the top rope and hits it through the two tables. Tables may be kind. They are just pieces of plywood on stands. The match was awful. The dive at the end was the only thing worthwhile. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

WCW Championship Match
Sting vs. Ric Flair

Imagine having a title match not be a main event on your weekly free program. Sting dominates the early going, hitting a lot of the signature spots. Sting hits a big superplex but then Flair gets the knees up for the follow up splash. We get a commercial break and Sting tries to make a comeback but now both men are down. Sting misses with a dropkick and Flair goes for a Figure Four but Sting turns it into an inside cradle for a 2 count. Sting is back at it now with a big press slam but then runs into an elbow. Sting throws Flair off the top rope and then no sells a chop to the chest. He hits a less impressive second press slam. Jimmy Hart is on the apron now and Luger comes out to get him off. This leads to him accidentally pulling the megaphone away and hitting Sting with it. That's enough for Flair to win and Luger is mad at Jimmy. He goes after Flair but then Hulk Hogan and Savage are out to clear the ring and Mean Gene is in there to look at them checking on Sting. The match was going along pretty well until the ending. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Hogan hopes that Sting finally got some good sense knocked into him. Savage tells him to wake up and Hogan tells Sting that Luger is the reason he lost. Sting can't remember and he goes to the back to hear it from the horses' mouth. Hogan then tells Savage that he has a problem with him. He should be getting the title shot and not Savage. Hogan is so annoying and Savage says he'll see him at the Clash of the Champions. 

Meng vs. Hulk Hogan

In typical WCW fashion, Hogan goes to the back just to come back out for this match. I like Meng but it's hard for me to get excited about this match. Hogan is so terrible here and Meng never seems to win. Meng hits a body slam but misses with a second rope splash. Sullivan gets up on the apron but Savage is out there. He helps him there and Hogan hits a big boot for the win. This was the quality of match that you see after a live taping. Absolutely pointless. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

This was a pretty good episode overall with a lot of action, even if it wasn't all good necessarily. They were still in full court press mode with putting huge matches on free TV every week here, so they also win the war on that since Vince McMahon usually lost interest in stuff like that after a few weeks. 

Overall Rating: 56%

Monday Night Raw 1-15-96 Review

Original Airdate: Monday, January 15th, 1996
Bob Carpenter Center
Newark, Delaware

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

We get a Martin Luther King Jr. intro. We then get a warning for graphic nature after that. They then run through a bunch of stuff for a scattered intro. 

Marty Jannetty vs. Owen Hart

I'd be good if this one got 20 minutes. Jerry Lawler predicts that someone with royalty will win the Rumble. Owen Hart, Mabel or himself. We get some good action as we head into the first commercial break. I really wish I didn't have to binge all of these Raw episodes without watching Superstars (and Nitro). Hopefully it will prove to have been a bad idea by me, but I have no faith that they will put this up on Netflix. We get mostly 50/50 action and then kind of a winner out of nowhere with Owen pinning Marty with a bridge. 

Match Rating: **

We go to Todd Pettengill and he's hyping up the first ever Free For All on the Preview Channel. I was legitimately so excited for this. I am pretty sure I watched every Free For All there ever was. Todd announces that there will be a match where the winner will get #30 in the Rumble and the loser will be #1. They flash through a lot of the Superstars in it, but don't name them like they typically do. We hear from Diesel and he says that it's Diesel time. We then see more of Vader. Todd promises that they won't show these Royal Rumble matches anywhere else like they did In Your House. That's still hilarious to me. 

We go to Dok Hendrix and he tells us that Razor Ramon is furious with Goldust and he can't wait any longer to tear Goldust apart. 

We then get the Sunny playing pool Raw vignette. Then they hype up the rest of the show into a commercial. 

Ringmaster vs. Matt Hardy

It's always good to see Matt Hardy. It's hilarious to me that someone approved the name "Ringmaster". Ringmaster has a real Widowmaker vibe to it. This match should be over already It should have been 5 moves and over. If they wanted to make this extended, they should have given him Bob Holly or Barry Horowitz. Ringmaster reverses a suplex by hitting a face first suplex. Ringmaster drops Hardy on the top rope and then slaps on the Million Dollar Dream for the victory. Like I said, this should have been quicker. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a Shawn Michaels video package about how exciting he is. They then go over the concussion drama. They once again show him announcing that he'll be in the Royal Rumble. This, of course, is the origin of the "boyhood dream". 

We go to Dok again and he said that Razor is just a few miles from the arena. 

Smoking Gunns vs. The Spiders

We join this awesome match in progress. The Spiders are the Headbangers. They hit the Sidewinder and that is all. They mention the match with the Body Donnas, who have not been on Raw ahead of a pay per view title match. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go back to Billionaire Ted wanting to buy WWF. 

Vince McMahon is in the ring for an interview with Goldust. They play on the homophobia of this era. It's all about as classy as you would expect it to be from pro wrestling. They go back to Dok and he thinks Razor has just gotten here. 

We see Razor walk in the arena.

Isaac Yankem vs. Undertaker

Lawler gives Yankem a pep talk before the match. There are very few matches that I want to see less than this one. Why are there still 2 commercials left in this show? The Undertaker dominates until the King gets involved and Yankem is able to drive Taker into the ring post. We go back to Dok and he says that after the match, he'll get to interview Goldust about his match with Bret Hart next week on Raw. Gee, I wonder what will happen. Taker reverses a piledriver and they cut to Dok, likely because they botched the move. Taker hits the Tombstone and puts us all out of our misery. This was horrible. I can't believe they saw this and were like, give me about 95 more televised matches of this. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

Dok interviews Goldust and wouldn't you know it, Razor attacks him. I didn't see that coming. Goldust is able to slow him down with a low blow and then we go to commercial. 

We get Sunny in a bath tub. 

They show the same Razor attack again. The amount of filler on a 45 minute show the last month or two has been crazy to me. 

As mentioned, next week it will be Bret vs. Goldust. Don't forget to buy the Royal Rumble. They run through the card real quick and go back to Dok. Razor attacks Goldust again and throws him out the door and into the snow. He tries to hit him with a shovel, but Goldust throws him into a truck. Goldust is able to get away in a car before we end the show. That at least was pretty fun. 

I really hope that this isn't the last Raw I get to watch because that main event sucked big time. Let's hope Netflix decides to put the Raw library up sometime soon. If not, I bought myself some time by binging these episodes and actually made it further than I thought I would. Anyway, this episode sucked again, which is a shame heading into Royal Rumble. After a little hot streak in the fall, they have definitely slipped again. There are a few good things going on, but the taping cycle is really killing Raw. 

Overall Rating: 28%

Superstars 1-13-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 13th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

We kick off the show with them showing Shawn Michaels throwing his name in the Royal Rumble and that no matter who the champion is, they will be facing him at WrestleMania. 

Henry Godwinn vs. Owen Hart

Here's a match that I can get behind. We get some good pro wrestling to start off and Owen hits a top rope elbow drop before slowing things done. Godwinn hits a back body drop and a clothesline to regain the momentum. Godwinn hits a big press slam and goes for the Slop Drop. Jim Cornette gets on the apron and that's enough for Godwinn to go after him. That allows Owen to hit an enziguri and then puts his feel on the ropes for the victory. That was shorter than it deserved to be, so it never had a chance to live up to my expectations. I guess I shouldn't be surprised with it being Superstars, but a guy can dream. After the match, Godwinn tries to slop Owen, but he ducks and it hits Cornette.

Match Rating: *1/2

We get more Shawn Michaels with more of the press conference shown of him declaring that he is in the Royal Rumble. We hear from some Superstars on Shawn being in it including Diesel, Owen Hart and Razor Ramon. 

Smoking Gunns vs. Jason Ahrndt & Phil Apollo

The announce team lets us know that the Gunns will be defending their titles against the new team of the Body Donnas at Royal Rumble. This is the usual squash here with the Gunns looking good. They hit the spinning double team neckbreaker for the victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Dok Hendrix who is wearing leather gloves and a leather jacket for some reason. He hypes up Royal Rumble before we hear from Paul Bearer and Undertaker. I guess the skies are already dark over Fresno. It's probably just the pollution. Bret says Taker will fall to the excellence of execution.

We go to Vince and he introduces the Vader promo video. 

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Hardy

We get a Goldust interview during the match and he talks about getting his hands on Razor's body. Meanwhile, Razor hits a fall away slam before setting him up for the super back suplex. He signals for the Razor's Edge and then out comes the usher of Goldust. He holds a photo of Goldust centerfold type picture. Razor goes after him and rips up the picture and that leads to Hardy winning the match by countout. He takes his frustration out on Hardy and hits the Razor's Edge. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it's Diesel vs. Isaac Yankem. Oh boy. 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Marty Garner

They show Jarrett going after Ahmed on Raw with his guitar and it didn't work out. After watching some Honky Tonk Man recently, it is just so crazy how much more over he was able to get over than Jarrett ever was able to. I'd argue that Jarrett is more popular in 2025 than he was at his peak. Anyway, he slaps on the Figure Four and no one cares. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We see clips of the Ringmaster's debut on Raw with Brother Love. 

Duke Droese vs. The Spider

So I guess Droese still exists. In 2025, I think it's fair to say that we wish he never did. Speaking of no one caring about matches, this one would also qualify. JR claims he is underrated and he hits the Trash Compactor for the quick win. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go back to Dok and he says that Duke is trying to claim one of the last three spots in the Rumble. He names British Bulldog, Savio Vega, Bam Bam Bigelow, Vader, King Mabel, Barry Horowitz, Bob Backlund, Hakushi, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Henry Godwinn and Jerry Lawler, Dory Funk Jr., Owen Hart, Tatanka, Diesel, Jake Roberts, Isaac Yankem, Marty Jannetty, Yokozuna, Ringmaster, Kama and Shawn Michaels. I may have missed one or two there. We hear from Lawler, Marty and Diesel in between there. The Marty one is particularly lame. 

Barry Horowitz vs. Goldust

It seems like a lot of fake crowd noise being pumped in on this episode. Before I even think about wanting to bother typing about this one, Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the quick victory. Horowitz got a couple of moves in and that was all. They show Razor Ramon in the back watching on the screen and he's not impressed. Why didn't he come out and cost him his match. They then show Goldust unzipping his ring wear and making most kids at home uncomfortable. He then reveals a hear with Razor in the middle painted on his chest. Razor is disgusted and yeah. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it will be Aldo Montoya and Avatar against Sid and 1-2-3 Kid. The Ringmaster also makes his Superstars debut. We then go to Billionaire Ted's War Room...

Another pretty poor episode here as there are just a lot of characters that no one really seems to care about. I like this era probably more than 99% of fans but when you look back on it, it's pretty easy to see why they were failing. By the end of the year, things started heading in the right direction but unfortunately, I may never get to re-live it. We shall see. 

Overall Rating: 34%

Monday Nitro 1-8-96 Review

Monday, January 8th, 1996
North Charleston Coliseum
Charleston, South Carolina

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael welcome us as always. They hype up the big main event of Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan against Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. Heenan says wherever you see two Horsemen, you see Four Horsemen. This leads to Pillman and Benoit on the way to the ring. 

Chris Benoit vs. Alex Wright

My biggest complaint with these early weeks of Nitro has been the lack of total superstars that have been featured. Wright has only been on a few times, so it's good to see him on here. Benoit attacks him on his way into the ring and is showing more aggression than we have seen in this run here. They mention how Pillman has been walking the line of being suspended for some of his off the wall antics and he gets in a cheap shot on Wright. Wright comes back with a slingshot that sends Benoit to the floor. He hits a baseball slide that sends Benoit into the guardrail and then a top rope crossbody to the floor. He turns his attention to Pillman before going back into the ring. Wright puts on a Boston Crab and then a STF. Wright feels like he is just sort of doing moves here as he hits a suplex. Wright goes after Pillman again and this time gets a shot in. Benoit gets his knees up when Wright tries to splash him. We get some back and forth in counters before Benoit hits him in the face with a right hand. Benoit hits a German suplex into a bridge and gets the victory. This wasn't bad action but like I mentioned, it kind of just felt like Wright was doing moves just to do them. 

Match Rating: **

Lord Steven Regal vs. Eddie Guererro

The amount of jabs they have taken at WWF so far this week is already exhausting me. They keep talking about how much action they are giving you for free as if they don't run as many pay-per-views or something. Credit to Heenan for not really joining in on the annoyance. Regal does his usual mat wrestling to start off until Guerrero explodes for a hurricanrana. Regal is starting to get angry and is increasing the intensity behind his blows. Regal continues to control the match until Guerrero sneaks in a backslide and steals the victory. Regal is livid and keeps attacking Guerrero to the point where the announcers aren't even sure if he won. This was pretty good but a little on the dull side. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We go to Mean Gene with Lex Luger and Sting but not before he makes fun of the New Generation. I guess the Huckster stuff did get under their skin. I don't get why because that was awful too. They tease the drama behind their friendship and it leads to them agreeing to be a tag team. This was lame. 

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting

Finally, we are getting some DDP on this show. Classic WCW with having Sting out for the interview and then having him come out right after for a match. Drives me nuts. Sting is destroying DDP as the announce team keeps telling us how much better DDP is than he used to be. We get what looks to be a miscue when Sting leapfrogs DDP but doesn't get all the way over. DDP goes to a rest hold already and just slows this thing down all the way. Sting makes his comeback but when he goes for the Scorpion Death Lock, DDP is too close to the ropes. DDP takes advantage briefly before Sting locks it on again and picks up the win. Sting continues to be over but this one wasn't that great. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

They continue to hype up Clash Of The Champions and how it is free. Again, this company runs a ton of pay per views. We aren't stupid. 

Ric Flair & Arn Anderson vs. Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage

It looks like these four are going to get some time to have a match. It gets harder for me to focus on anything Hogan does at this point. He is insufferable. We finally get Savage in and he slams Flair off the top rope. Savage puts on the Figure Four and then Hogan comes in and puts it on Anderson. This leads to Anderson hitting a DDT on Savage because Hogan is an idiot. Flair throws Savage over the top rope behind the referee's back. Later on, they throw Savage into the guardrail. Hogan gets the hot tag but Arn hits a spinebuster. Hogan no sells it and hits the big boot/leg drop combo for the victory. Out comes the Dungeon of Doom and Giant hits a chokeslam on Hogan while Kevin Sullivan and Pillman brawl. Were they supposed to stop the finish of the match? I really wasn't into this main event and the action was mostly vanilla.

Match Rating: *

This one felt like it should have been better than it was. There was a lot of wrestling action, which I appreciated. The announcers were unbearable this week and the storylines didn't really advance that much this week. I'd put this one somewhere in the middle.

Overall Rating: 49%

Off The Grid, Volume 61: Clash Of The Champions XVI: Fall Brawl Review

Thursday, September 5th, 1991
August-Richmond County Civic Center
Albany, Georgia

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

Off The Grid, Volume 61:

Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone welcome us at ringside before passing it off to Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt and Paul E. Dangerously as our interviewers. 

Georgia Brawl Battle Royal

Each entrant gets their name called to generic music. We have Big Josh, Steve Austin, Oz, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, PN News, Z-Man, Terrance Taylor, One Man Gang, El Gigante, Thomas Rich, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, Young Pistol Tracy, Ranger Ross and Bobby Eaton. Ranger Ross, Big Josh and Taylor all get eliminated first at the same time. This is one of those crowds that is very screamy in a fun way. I'm not sure what about any of this that they care about, but it's at least making it more interesting to me. The eliminations pick up including some of the bigger names like Austin and Windham. We're down to a final four of Oz, One Man Gang, Dustin Rhodes and El Gigante. So, I guess the difference between WCW and WWF is that WWF just shoves it down your throat about how tough it will be to get a big man eliminated over the top before watching it happen frequently, and WCW takes it literally. Oz and Gang team up to eliminate Rhodes. Then Gigante hits them both with a clothesline and they both are eliminated. I can't believe that both promotions pushed this guy. This was every battle royal ever but at least it was quick. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Badstreet vs. Brian Pillman

Badstreet is out with the Fabulous Freebirds. This is Pillman's return from injury here. This show feels like it's at a frantic pace and I am okay with it. Pillman looks great at the start here. He hits a springboard sunset flip for a 2 count and then a big dropkick. Pillman tries to suplex over the rope and into the ring but Badstreet counters and suplexes him to the floor. This of course leads to the announcers having to explain to us how that isn't a disqualification. Badstreet is able to pull Pillman into the ring post and then celebrates it in the ring. That gives Pillman time to launch himself into Badstreet. Badstreet comes right back with a neckbreaker. Badstreet goes up top and Pillman hits him with a dropkick. Pillman hits a suicide dive going about 900 mph and as a result, he hits the guardrail pretty hard on accident as well as nailing Badstreet. Pillman goes for a missile dropkick but Badstreet hits him with a dropkick. The action here is really fast paced for this era and there is just about no selling. Badstreet hits a DDT and gets a 2 count. Pillman goes for a crucifix but Badstreet counters and drops him to the mat. Pillman knocks Badstreet off the second rope and Pillman hits the crossbody for the victory. This is a semi-final match for the Light Heavyweight title apparently. This was balls to the wall action here. I wish they would have done some more selling but everything else was very entertaining. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

It's time for the Top Ten. 

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Diamond Studd
7. One Man Gang
6. Dustin Rhodes
5. Steve Austin
4. El Gigante
3. Barry Windham
2. Ron Simmons
1. Sting

Yes, El Gigante. 

US Championship Match
Johnny B. Badd vs. Sting

They show a hilarious clip of Sting opening a box and Abdullah the Butcher being inside of it. Badd hits a series of quick moves, including his signature top rope sunset flip for a 2. We slow things down and Badd works on the wrist of Sting. The flow of this match is that of one that is going to go for another 15 minutes. Jim Ross lets us know that another box has been delivered and of course it is not shown on TV. Badd sees the box and he thinks it's for him. Theodore Long pleads with him to focus on Sting and then Sting sees it. Sting gets an inside cradle and picks up the win in a terrible finish. Out comes Cactus Jack and he attacks Sting. He hits a top rope elbow to the floor. Back in the ring, he hits the double underhook DDT. Out come Sting's pals to make the save. I love how they just refused to show the box. WCW, everybody. Anyway, this match sucked for some reason. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

When we come back, they finally show us Cactus Jack coming out of the box. 

Richard Morton vs. Mike Graham

This is another Light Heavyweight tournament match and the winner of this will face Pillman. This is from the time where they thought it was a good idea for Morton to be a heel singles wrestler. The crowd is absolutely dead for this one. JR lets us know that Sting will be okay. I was really worried. This match is off to an absolutely terrible start. Graham finally does something of interest with a German suplex into a bridge for a 2 count. Graham looks like someone you'd meet at a bowling alley, so no one in their right mind is expecting him to win. This match is the absolute death sentence. It is dead silent and they just keep going. Alexandra York distracts the referee and he misses what would have been a victory for Graham. Morton pushes him into the corner and rolls him up for the victory. Absolutely terrible. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We are back to listen to how strong Bill Kazmaier is. We go to Bischoff in the ring and he brings him out to try to break a record tonight. This has some big time Dino Bravo vibes. Sadly, I cared about Dino more. He bends a bar on his head and then gets attacked by Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. Out comes Rick Steiner to make the save. Another death segment here. 

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Patriots

So this match is not for the United States Tag Team Championships, but they fight again on Saturday and that one is. Since it's the Patriots, I don't really care. At least this match has some spunk after the last two segments. We are informed that Kazmaier refuses to go to the hospital. Please do us a favor and just go. Todd and Chip may be about as dorky of names as they could have possibly come up with. Hayes hits an elbow to the back of the head behind the referee's back and the Freebirds pick up the win. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Paul E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cactus Jack. Paul asks who his business partner is. There's a box on the ramp again and Cactus thinks it is Abdullah. He goes and gives the box a hug and out comes Sting, who tosses him off the ramp to the concrete. They brawl into the commercial break. 

We come back from commercial and the quality of it is pretty poor. They show Ron Simmons getting his number retired at Florida State. We go to a pre-recorded Bobby Bowden interview talking about how great Simmons is. 

Diamond Studd vs. Ron Simmons

Studd comes down to the ring yelling "I'm the bad guy". Studd attacks Simmons upon entering the ring. Simmons quickly battles back until getting raked in the eyes. Studd catches Simmons trying to leapfrog and turns it into a chokeslam. Studd hits a second rope bulldog but is too cocky on his pin attempt. Simmons is able to slide under the ropes and pulls Studd's legs and crotches him into the ring post. Simmons hits the shoulder tackle and picks up the win. That was it? They kept hyping how Diamond Studd was a top 10 contender. Not that this one needed another 10 minutes or anything, but this was actually a good match and so naturally the gave it about 2 minutes. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Dangerously is now in the ring with Simmons. Simmons says he isn't afraid of Lex Luger and his entourage. Out comes Harley Race and Mr. Hughes. Simmons says that he'll face Lex Luger and walks away. 

Terrance Taylor vs. Van Hammer

Hammer is one of my all time least favorite wrestlers. Watching him strutting around in the ring with his guitar confirms it. Taylor attacks him from behind with the computer. Hammer no sells it and hits a body slam. He hits a series of clotheslines and then a suplex. He starts doing a "We Will Rock You" chant and hits one of the worst looking top rope moves you will ever see for the win. Squash.

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Missy Hyatt, who apparently has been having issues with locker room interviews lately. She's with Lex Luger and Ron Simmons knocks on the door. This looks like the quality of the skits my backyard wrestling videos had. They throw him out, so he does a running shoulder tackle to bust open the door. We get chaos and they quickly cut back to the ring. 

WCW Television Championship Match
Z-Man vs. Steve Austin

Zenk is such a dorky face. Austin is with Lady Blossom who looks like a woman you would see in wrestling during this era. Austin's trunks are horrendous and it's easy to see why he ditched the ponytail. We get some slow submission wrestling to start here. With the pace we are starting off at here, it looks like these two saw the Greg Valentine/IRS match from SummerSlam and were hoping to top that. This is not the match I was hoping for here. We finally get a burst and Zenk hits a superkick and a back body drop for a 2. The announcers are criticizing Zenk for not being aggressive enough. Zenk hits a dive on Austin but then misses with the top rope crossbody. Austin hits the Stun Gun but is too slow to get the cover and Zenk gets an inside cradle for 2. Zenk then puts on the sleeper. Austin gets to the rope and we get the most obvious hand off of a foreign object you will ever see. Zenk picks him up for a back suplex and Austin hits him with the object and picks up the victory to retain the title. This stunk.

Match Rating: *

The Ron Simmons hype train continues here as they show him at a local YMCA giving a speech to the youth. They keep telling us that Lex Luger is not quite ready for the press conference. Please just end this show. They show Simmons again and this time he's taking the kids on a bus to wrestle at the Omni. We're still waiting for Luger to show up. Luger is finally out and I have to say that you would never know that both of these guys were only 33 years old. They sign the contract and Luger tries to do the thing where he sounds like he is complimenting him but then offers him a job as his driver and that leads to a brawl. They run Luger into the limo and get him out of there. 

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match
Enforcers vs. Rick Steiner & Bill Kazmaier

On the plus side, we're under 10 minutes left in the show and this hasn't even started yet. Kazmaier is all taped up after the attack tonight. Steiner hits a big slam on Arn early on but Zbyszko breaks it up. Ross brings up that the fans would have loved to have seen Scott Steiner tonight and I'm pretty sure they'd rather see Rick's partner be a cucumber than Kazmaier. Steiner tries to make a comeback but the double teaming slows it down. Kazmaier tags himself in and no one cares. Arn runs in while Kazmaier has Zbyszko up in the air and hits him in the injured ribs. Zbyszko falls on top and we have new champions. This was so rushed and just nothing. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Arn tells us that the best sailboat can't move without wind or something stupid. Zbyszko says it doesn't matter how much muscle you have or how many holds you know. Whatever, just end it. 

This show started off promising and just turned into an absolute chore to get through. None of the stories being told were interesting and focusing so much energy on Kazmaier was a complete waste of time. This show is something that you never need to see outside the good Pillman match.

Overall Rating: 28%

Monday Night Raw 1-8-96 Review

Original Airdate: Monday, January 8th, 1996
Bob Carpenter Center
Newark, Delaware

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They tease a major announcement from Shawn Michaels and another Billionaire Ted skit. 

Hakushi vs. Jeff Jarrett

Why wouldn't you have had this been the match for Jarrett to re-debut with instead of Fatu? We get your typical Jarrett stuff here, including grabbing the ropes for leverage during an abdominal stretch. Hakushi ducks too early and hits the swinging neckbreaker. Hakushi does finally get some offense in, hitting the cartwheel elbow in the corner. He goes for the springboard splash, but Jarrett gets his knees up. He slaps on the Figure Four and gets the victory. Again, why did they not do this with Fatu? 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go to Jim Ross for the Slam Jam. This feels rare. Doug Gilbert of the USWA will be in the Royal Rumble! Plus, Jerry Lawler, Fatu, Isaac Yankem and Jake Roberts making his return. We then hype up Vader making his debut at the Rumble. Ross then rattles off that Henry Godwinn, Marty Jannetty, Kama and Skip will be in the Rumble. Plus, Takao Omori!

Ahmed Johnson is on his way and then we will find out who the new Million Dollar Champion is going to be. 

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Brettler

Brettler's attire is definitely a choice. This is a squash in case you had any doubts. The Pearl River Plunge is enough to take care of Brettler. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Jeff Jarrett tries to smash Ahmed with the guitar after the match, but Ahmed avoids it and smashes it himself as Jarrett runs away. 

Next week on Raw, it's going to be Undertaker taking on Isaac Yankem. Just what I need to see is more of those two wrestling each other. Plus, Marty Jannetty will take on Owen Hart. 

It's time for more Brother Love and he's with Ted DiBiase to make his big announcement. He finally found his guy, the Ringmaster. Total jobber. He holds his hand up to the camera so that everyone at home can touch their own hand to the screen to feel good about themselves. He says that he is in the Royal Rumble and that he'll tossing everyone over the top rope, man. He says the WWF Championship doesn't mean as much as the Million Dollar Championship, man. 

Goldust vs. Aldo Montoya

They sure gave up on Montoya pretty quickly and probably rightfully so. Aldo is able to get a back body drop in, but Goldust blocks the hip toss and hits the Curtain Call for the easy victory. This is the most Superstars feeling episode of Raw in some time. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We go back to Jim Ross for the Slam Jam. He shows us an interview from earlier today from Shawn Michaels saying that the doctors don't think he should compete. He says sorry, but he's throwing his name in the Royal Rumble and that he's going to WrestleMania to face the WWF Champion. Scheme Gene is involved in all of this. 

Lawler says that this is the biggest mistake in Shawn Michaels' life. Not career, life. Diesel wishes his best friend luck. Razor thinks it's too soon to come back. Owen Hart says that he hurt him bad and that he's not ready for the Royal Rumble. He'll make sure he never wrestles again. 

Well, now it's one again time for another In Your House match shown for free. Again, I was very excited to be able to see this match, especially since it got great reviews. I just don't know how I would have felt if I paid for it. 

WWF Championship Match
British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Let's see how this one holds up. After feeling each other out, Bulldog puts Bret in the tree of woe and we get a weird spot with Bulldog hitting the referee and him playing it up like it was accidental, but not in a heel way. We get an "E-C-W" chant with Bulldog still on offense, but it doesn't last too long. Vince makes an announcement that Undertaker will take on the winner of this match. In 1995, this wasn't a bad thing to do since they didn't really do a ton of babyface vs. babyface matches during this time. Cornette gets in a cheap shot and Bulldog goes back to rest holds. We do get the big Bret sternum-first turnbuckle spot as well. Bret makes his comeback with a monkey flip and hits a bulldog on the Bulldog. Bret goes for a superplex, but Bulldog crotches him on the top rope and Bret falls to the floor. Bulldog lifts Bret up and drives his back into the ring post. Bret is gushing blood now and Bulldog throws him back into the ring. Bulldog hits a piledriver and the delayed vertial suplex while Vince says the match needs to be stopped. Bulldog puts on the bow and arrow submission, but Bret leaps out of it and tries to put on the Sharpshooter in a nice little momentum shift attempt. Bulldog knocks Bret with a shoulder tackle and Bret rolls out of the ring. Bret is always so good at timing his little spots. He makes a comeback and hits a dive onto Bulldog to the outside. He tries to do a reverse jump on top of Bulldog, but he catches him and hits a powerslam to the floor and Bret continues to bleed. Bulldog rolls up the protective padding outside and Bret blocks the suplex attempt by crotching Bulldog on the guardrail. He clotheslines him and Bulldog falls to the floor. We go back to the ring and Bret hits a top rope superplex. Bret works on Bulldog and goes for a quick pin attempt and pulls off the victory. Diana is not happy about it and comforts her husband to the back. This was a very good main event. With that being said, for whatever reason, I don't like the Bret/Bulldog matches as much as a lot of people do. 

Match Rating: ****

Funny that right after they just showed an exclusive pay per view match, Vince promises that the Royal Rumble matches will only be shown on pay per view. We hear from Undertaker and he says that he intends to deliver for the creatures of the night. Kathy Schreck wins the Royal Rumble Sweepstakes and are going to fabulous Fresno, California. 

Don't forget to watch next week to see two morons square off when Isaac Yankem faces Undertaker. Plus, the Ringmaster makes his debut. 

It's time for Billionaire Ted again. They even make steroids again. Vince is really the master of being a hypocrite. 

Again, this is another episode that is hard to rate. Obviously, the Bret/Bulldog match ruled and took up most of the time. However, everything else sucked. The Ringmaster debut felt flat, the matches were really short and basically just filler and the Billionaire Ted stuff is god awful. Hard to say anything other than a thumbs down. 

Overall Rating: 34%

Superstars 1-6-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 6th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

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Ahmed Johnson vs. Jerry Lawler Royal Spider

Lawler comes out on crutches and says that he's not in any condition to wrestle today, so instead we get the Royal Spider. This is Thrasher from the Headbangers. Out comes Jeff Jarrett already to provide a distraction that allows Spider to dropkick Ahmed out of the ring. Ahmed chases after Jarrett but realizes he would get counted out and gets back in the ring. Ahmed hits a scissor kick to the back and the Pearl River Plunge for the easy win. I'm not really sure what the point of all of this is. Lawler walks to the back. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Dok Hendrix at the Slam Jam. He announces that Goldust will now challenge Razor Ramon at Royal Rumble. Goldust gives a long promo on Razor. I wasn't really listening. We get Fatu, Jerry Lawler, Isaac Yankem, Doug Gilbert and Jake Roberts is coming back!

They show clips of Diesel beating Mabel at the Raw Bowl in 11 seconds and Diesel walking away with the young lady. 

Isaac Yankem vs. Brian Walsh

Are we really still doing this? Why is this match longer than 30 seconds? Please go away.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week on Superstars, it's Henry Godwinn vs. Owen Hart. Yes, please. 

Mr. Perfect is in the ring to bring out Razor Ramon for an interview. Perfect rambles on and on to get under Razor's skin about how Goldust is getting under his skin and that Razor can't sleep at night. He said he talked to Goldust earlier on and he asked him for a favor. He hands Razor a teddy bear like Goldust and Razor knocks it down and heads to the back. 

They hype up Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog from In Your House being shown on Raw on Monday. Plus, Hakushi will take on Jeff Jarrett. 

We see Ted DiBiase is talking to Brother Love on the phone and he confirms that he'll be on Raw and he's hyping up the new Million Dollar Champion he found. DiBiase was so terrible as a manager. 

Skip vs. Rad Radford

We finally are getting the big payoff to this scorching hot storyline. Radford runs in the ring and hits a series of clotheslines with the final one knocking Skip to the floor. He hides behind Sunny but picks her up and moves her out of the way. That allows Skip to attack from behind and take control of the match. Radford gets a little burst of offense until he misses with the elbow drop. We even get a commercial break during this one. Skip goes up to the top rope but Radford meets him ther and hits a superplex. Skip is back on offense but not for long when Radford shoves Skip off the top rope when he goes for his hurricanrana. Radford hits a spinebuster and then a northern lights suplex. Sunny distracts the referee and a guy dressed up like Skip interferes, giving Skip the win. The celebrate together and Sunny says that his name is Zip and he is Skip's twin brother. Couldn't they have just said brother? Zip is 13 years older than Skip. The match was decent enough. 

Match Rating: **

They show a hype video for Vader. As a kid, this was a very big deal to me. Even though I didn't know a lot about WCW at the time, I knew Vader and Sting were the two guys I wanted to jump over to WWF. 

We now get a Mankind vignette just showing his missing ear. They don't say who he is or anything. Do you know how annoying it is that we finally get to one of my favorite years as a fan and now I can't even watch Raw anymore? 

It's now time for the replay of the Undertaker/Mabel match from In Your House just in case you weren't insulted enough if you actually bought the show by this time. 

Casket Match
King Mabel vs. Undertaker

Boy, I am excited for this one. Taker hits a splash in the corner but Mabel comes back with a Boss Man Slam. Taker sits up so Mabel hits a body slam. Mabel goes to the second rope and misses with a splash after Taker sits up. Taker hits a couple of clotheslines but then Mo grabs his ankle for the distraction. Mabel hits the belly-to-belly suplex and hits the leg drop. Taker tries to sit up but he can't do it. Mabel hits a big splash and then Mo drags Taker out of the ring. Mo carries Taker on his shoulder and puts him in the casket. They don't close the door and then Mo grabs Mabel's crown and puts it on. Mabel struts over and Taker naturally blocks it. Taker is back in the ring and hits some more clotheslines. The leaping clothesline finally knocks Mabel off his feet. Taker kicks Mabel in the back and he falls into the casket. Mo attacks Taker before he can close the door. Taker hits a chokeslam on him and rolls him into the casket on top of Mabel. Before he closes the lid, Taker grabs the gold chain from Mo and then slams it shut to put us out of our misery. At least it was short. After the match, Undertaker gives the signal that he wants the WWF Championship. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

For the record, I did not watch this again. We go back to Dok and he does the worst impression of Michael Jackson that you will ever hear. He hypes up Diesel being in the Rumble before talking about the title match between Undertaker and Bret Hart. We're only 2 weeks away!

We now see the Raw Bowl queen and she's with Hunter Hearst Helmsley drinking wine sitting by the fireplace. He says that 1996 will be the best year yet. 

Now it's time for Billionaire Ted. This was such a stupid and desperate campaign. 

Next week they will show us highlights of Shawn Michaels' press conference. On top of Owen/Godwinn, we are also getting Goldust vs. Barry Horowitz. That show sounds better. The Skip match was pretty good and actually gave us some storyline but the rest of the show was awful. 

Overall Rating: 36%

Off The Grid, Volume 60: Clash Of The Champions XXVIII Review

Wednesday, August 24th, 1994
Five Seasons Center
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

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Off The Grid, Volume 60:

We get a disclaimer that this is the most complete version of the show due to technical difficulties. It seems as if the intro must have been what they are referring to since the Nasty Boys are the first thing you see and they reference that the national anthem was sung.

Nasty Boys vs. Pretty Wonderful

The Nasty Boys are usually a pretty good time. As I say that, I'm already not paying attention to the match. Orndorff just always feels so old when I see him during this run. I don't necessarily mean it in a mean way, just that he seems like he's just from such a different era. Orndorff goes for the piledriver, but Sags is able to hit the back body drop and tag in Knobs. He gets double teamed after he gets in a bunch of right hands. Things break down with all four in the ring. Orndorff hits a suplex and Roma hits the splash. Sags hits an elbow off the top on Orndorff and picks up the win despite not being the legal man. This was a fun enough Clash style match. 

Match Rating: **1/4

We get a Hulk Hogan hotline commercial. I bet that's not a scam. 

Mean Gene brings out the "most awesome force in WCW history"...Hulk Hogan. There's no way at this point that you could even really say that. As Hogan comes out (following Jimmy Hart first), a masked man attacks Hogan from behind and he sells it like it's the most insane beating ever taken. Gene keeps saying "Look at that knee!". It looked like absolutely nothing. You'd think a guy who has starred in movies would be a better actor. Mean Gene wants to get a word with him but then says he is in way too much pain and starts yelling "Get him out of here!". This is just so bad. 

United States Championship Match
Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

Oh good, they're just going to talk about Hogan instead of this match that should rule. We get a pretty slow pace here to start. We get news that Sting saw what happened on TV and is taking a plane to get to the arena. He will wrestle in Hogan's place tonight if needed. It should be noted also that Barry Darsow is in the front row and the now have acknowledged him as a "loud mouthed fan". Surprisingly, there hasn't been a lot of note in here until Steamboat crotches Austin on the top rope. Steamboat goes for a superplex, but Austin shoves him off. Steamboat comes back and slams Austin face-first into the mat. Steamboat shows some more fire and the crowd loves that. We get a series of pin attempts, which is probably one of my favorites of the more frequently used spots in a match. It goes on for quite a bit and then eventually works for Steamboat and we have a new champion. The match started slower than I expected but picked up to some good stuff at the end. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

Oh, don't worry. It's time for more Hulk Hogan. They go to Eric Bischoff and see Hogan coming out of the ambulance at the hospital. He says Hogan felt something snap in his knee. 

It's now time for a new music video from Honky Tonk Man, who is coming to WCW. Talk about striking while the iron is hot. His song is basically his usual song except he says "baby" instead of "man". This was as pointless as you would think it would be in 1994. 

Mean Gene is now with Nick Bockwinkle. If Hogan is unable to wrestle tonight, he will have to relinquish the title. 

We go to a segment with Dusty Rhodes is in the ring with Dustin to talk about some of the opponents in the way and that Dustin is a future world champion. Dusty wants to be Dustin's partner. They embrace and the crowd goes wild. 

Bunkhouse Buck & Terry Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes & Dustin Rhodes

We get to hear one of the worst entrance themes of all time with Dustin's. Luckily, they get right to business and we don't have to hear much. Schiavone speculates that this was always their plan to get Dusty back in the ring. Dustin gets most of the action to start before tagging in dad. Dusty is 48 years old here and the crowd loves all of his elbow shenanigans. We get the classic spot where Bunkhouse hits Funk on accident and out comes Arn Anderson. I will say, all four men are putting in a good effort here. It all breaks down and Arn comes in and DDTs Dustin for the stupid DQ finish. Meng is now out and Dusty hits him with a wooden chair, which smashes over his head and Meng no sells it. We get a melee with the heels destroying the Rhodes family and officials trying to break it up. We take a commercial with chaos still continuing. This was more of a storyline match but the effort here was really good and the crowd loved all of it. 

Match Rating: ***

Back to this stupid Hogan drama with Bischoff. They are very concerned about the severity of his knee injury. If Hogan forfeits the title, he will get the first title shot but Hogan wants to wrestle tonight. Jimmy Hart says whatever Hogan wants to do is what he'll do. 

Back to Mean Gene in the arena and he brings out Ric Flair. If Hogan can't wrestle, Flair wants Hogan to walk down the aisle and hand him the title. We get lots of yelling here from both Flair and Sherri. 

We come back from commercial and Mean Gene says that he has heard that Hogan is on his way back to the arena and Heenan can't believe it. 

Lord Steven Regal vs. Antonio Inoki

Regal starts as the aggressor as Heenan and Schiavone tell us how Inoki has wrestled Muhammad Ali and Andre The Giant. Just in case you were worried about Hogan since we haven't heard about him for about 2 minutes, they show him limping into the arena. Nick Bockwinkle joins the announce team just in case you needed more Hogan news. He says that he advised Hogan not to wrestle. Meanwhile, the action in the ring is mostly on the mat. Then out of nowhere, Inoki puts the choke sleeper hold on, which seems like it should be illegal. I mean, this is the same organization that disqualifies you if you throw someone over the top rope. Anyway, that's the finish. This was dull. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Call the Hulk Hogan hotline. 

WCW Championship Match
Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

We get the delayed Hogan entrance with Flair on the mic calling for him. He comes out with his knee wrapped and a limp. Hogan goes right after Flair before his robe is even off. Hogan is his usual cheating self and starts biting Flair. Flair pulls Hogan out of the ring but it's Hogan so of course it doesn't work. Flair goes up top and Hogan slams him to the mat. Hogan then starts brawling with him up the entrance ramp. Hogan misses with a chair and that allows Flair to get his first offense in. Flair hits a vertical suplex and of course Hogan no sells that too. To his credit, the crowd absolutely loves this. Sherri comes in and hits Hogan's knee and Flair starts to focus his attack there. Flair puts on the Figure Four in the center of the ring and naturally Hogan the good guy is able to rake the eyes of Flair to get out. Hogan hulks up and hits a leg drop but that hurt him. Flair puts on the Figure Four again and I should comment on how good Heenan is here. Hogan reverses the hold and rolls to the ropes. Sherri hits Hogan's knee with her shoe and Hogan rolls out of the ring. Flair wins by countout and the crowd absolutely hates that. They announce Flair as the new champion for some reason and then they announce Hogan as the winner by disqualification. Leave it to WCW to ruin a good main event. Out comes the masked man and he helps Flair attack Hogan. He puts the Figure Four on again and the masked man runs away. Out comes Sting to make the save. You know, if you're going to do an injury angle, it would have been ok for Hogan to lose here. This was one of the best Hogan WCW matches that I can remember though before the stupid ending. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

Shows like this are so hard to rate. I enjoyed everything for the most part but at the same time the Hogan stuff was so obnoxious, and the finish was your typical crap Hogan finish. However, 3 of the 5 matches were pay per view quality and that's enough for me to recommend it. If you for some reason like Hogan, this one's for you. 

Overall Rating: 68%

Monday Nitro 1-1-96 Review

Monday, January 1st, 1996
The Omni
Atlanta, Georgia

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

Eric Bischoff welcomes into 1996 along with Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael. Bischoff says that just in case you were vacationing in a third world country, Ric Flair is the new WCW Champion. What a weird comment. 

Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage

Savage runs in and Arn is ready for it. Savage fights him off and tosses him out of the ring. They remind us of Savage not being healthy during his title reign and that he's the ultimate working man's champion. McMichael is sick of all the interference, so Heenan says he should do something about it. Arn rams Savage's arm into the ring post and goes to work on it. Bischoff is more annoying than normal so far here. Arn hits a DDT and gets a big pop from the Atlanta crowd. Arn tries to use a foreign object but Savage is able to knock it out of Arn's hand. He hits him with a right hand and picks up the victory. Brian Pillman and Chris Benoit are out but its too late, as Savage escapes to the back. This was a decent enough TV match.

Match Rating: **

Steven Regal vs. Chris Benoit

Classic WCW with having Benoit just out in the ring and then having him go to the back and come right back out for his match. We see Hank Aaron in the audience, which is pretty cool. We get a piledriver reversal by Benoit and he is able to hit it on Regal. Benoit misses with a dive to the outside. Regal rolls him into the ring and picks up the victory? All they talk about is how the other Horsemen are always around and then they have two of them job in the first matches of the night. This was disappointing. 

Match Rating: *

Mean Gene is in the ring now with Pillman, Anderson and Benoit. Pillman isn't happy about them being 0-2. Benoit said it took pure luck for Regal to beat him tonight. Sure. Benoit then makes a comment about naked women in the limo and you can tell Gene is about to lose it. Arn tells them they prosper as a unit. Out comes the Dungeon of Doom. Giant grabs Zodiac and Sullivan and drags them back. 

Super Assassins vs. Sting & Lex Luger

I completely forgot that Warlord was with WCW ever during this time period. And here we go again with Sgt. Craig Pittman. This time he wants to talk to McMichael while two of their absolute top stars are wrestling. He wants Mongo to be his manager. Mongo declines but says to that he doesn't need anyone because he used to be a Sgt. and he's got this. Meanwhile, the Assassins are taking care of business here. Sting tags in Luger but the referee doesn't see it and the beatdown continues. Luger finally gets tagged in and gets Warlord up in the Torture Rack. He lasts a lot longer than most because they want to wait for Sting to get the Scorpion Death Lock in too. No surprise that the Atlanta crowd loves their Sting and Luger victory here. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Mean Gene interviews Jimmy Hart and Giant. Jimmy asks Gene if he's standing in a hole or if he's really that short, which is great. 

Clash of the Champions is coming January 23rd. 

WCW Championship Match
Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan

Look at me watching these two wrestle twice in the same day. We get the usual stuff here with these two. Despite these two having quite a few matches up to this point, the crowd is just 100% behind this. Hogan hits the big boot and out comes Jimmy Hart. He distracts Hogan and Arn Anderson comes from behind and nails Hogan. Hogan of course no sells it and being the idiot that he is, shows the referee and he calls for the bell. Pillman is out here and Giant and Savage. Savage saves Hogan and the heels back off? The match was good enough for what it was but nothing more. 

Match Rating: **

We hear from Savage and Hogan and we find out they will face Flair and Anderson next week. Bischoff brags about being #1 and that numbers talk. 

This was a pretty good show, but they continue to just stick to the big names and not really feature so many of their midcard stars. I'm not sure when that shifts but I am looking forward to it. For the meantime, this was an entertaining hour of pro wrestling. 

Overall Rating: 61%