Clash Of The Champions XXXII Review

Tuesday, January 23rd, 1996
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas, Nevada

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Tony Schiavone recaps the title changes from last night's Nitro. We're back in the building where Nitro was last night and thankfully have Tony instead of Eric Bischoff. They hype up the show and then take us to A Little White Chapel in Vegas where Mean Gene is letting us know about the big wedding between Col. Parker and Sherri. 

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

These two teams start brawling to no surprise. Knobbs misses a splash in the corner and Grunge hits a back suplex. Sags and Rock are battling outside the ring and Sags crotches him on the guardrail. Sags goes and grabs a table and tosses it in the ring. Sags tries to throw Rock into the table in the corner but Rock counters with a bulldog. Rock hits a moonsault on Knobbs for a 2 count. The Nasty Boys set up the table in the ring and they ring the bell. Nothing has even happened yet. Knobbs ends up on the table and Rock hits a moonsault and the table doesn't break. Grunge tries to use a piece of the table that did break off but Sags grabs it and breaks it on Grunge. Sags then chucks the table at Grunge from the ring to the floor. They brawl up the aisle and we have a double DQ I guess? This wasn't good but it was lively and good enough for this show. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

After a SuperBrawl commercial, we come back to Eric Bischoff and he brings out Ric Flair and the Giant along with Jimmy Hart. We get yelling Ric and smoker's voice Giant on this one. This wasn't good. We do get a Karate Fighters commercial and Slick 50 for some nostalgia. They even throw a Tootsie Roll commercial boasting that it has 66% less fat than most candy. The 90s were the best. 

Dean Malenko vs. Alex Wright

Let's see if these guys get some time. I'm guessing no. We get a nice little mat wrestling intro with each guy showing off a little bit and Wright ends up getting the best of it. Don't forget to get on CompuServe for an "electronic chat". Malenko yanks on the leg of Wright and goes to work. Wright does come back and hits a German suplex into a bridge for a 2 count. Wright misses with the dropkick and Malenko hits him with a clothesline. Malenko dropkicks Wright in the knees and pins him for the very abrupt finish. What a weird match. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Kevin Sullivan vs. Disco Inferno

A guy dressed as Elvis comes out to Disco's music and he's eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich. He grabs the mic and does a terrible impersonation of Elvis. He says he's here to deliver a singing telegram. He reads off a piece of paper and I have no idea what he's saying. Sullivan attacks him of course and hits a double stomp on him. They throw him out of the ring and Jimmy Hart grabs the mic and says that Sullivan hates Elvis impersonators. This wasn't a match. 

We go back to Mean Gene at the wedding. Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater show up and say nothing of importance. 

Lex Luger and Sting are out to interview with Bischoff. He brings up the controversy and Luger quickly squashes it. Out come the Road Warriors and they high five Sting. Animal says that they want their belts and Sting says let's get the match signed. Luger intervenes and he talks about all of the other teams and Bischoff calls him out for naming the State Patrol. 

It's time for a WCW Magazine commercial. Even when WCW was huge, I never saw this magazine anywhere. 

Bobby tells Luger and Sting to not make the Road Warriors mad. Trust him. 

Now it's time to listen to a pre-taped interview with Paul Orndorff on a bench. He has a neck brace on and says that it's a career ending surgery that is needed. He then talks about the feud with the Horsemen. I'm not really sure what this has to do with anything. This did not captivate me in any way.

We go back to Mean Gene at the chapel and Parker pulls up and asks Gene for $50 to pay for the cab. Parker's phone rings and he's in a panic. We get lots of classic Gene-isms here. 

Brian Pillman vs. Eddie Guerrero

Somehow there is still an hour left in this show. I did not realize that this was the Bobby Heenan incident match. Pillman hides behind Heenan and messes around with him, which leads to an F bomb on live TV from Heenan and he walks away. Heenan was protective of his neck and this is said to be a shoot. Heenan comes back and apologizes for what he may have said. Oh yeah, there's a match too. Eddie hits some dropkicks and then a tornado DDT for a 2 count. Pillman tries to cheat with a pin with his legs on the ropes but fails. Pillman hits a crossbody and holds the tights for the win. After the match when Pillman is rolling out of the ring, Heenan avoids Pillman in another very real moment. This match was nothing. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Eric Bischoff takes forever to get to the point, which is bringing out Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan and Kevin Greene. This is your typical Hogan/Savage interview that has nothing noteworthy and they just say all the catchphrases. It does end on an awkward moment where they talk about who is going to hang out with Elizabeth later and Hogan says we all know that she's too much for Savage to handle. 

WCW Tag Team Championship Match
Blue Bloods vs. Lex Luger & Sting

Luger and Eaton eventually make it outside the ring and Luger hits a back body drop. Regal is tagged in and gets in some offense on Luger. We then get a bad looking spot where Eaton goes off the top rope and Luger was supposed to catch him for a body slam, but let me tell you, there was no slam. Sting gets tagged in and destroys both men before putting on the Scorpion Death Lock for the easy win. There was never a doubt here. 

Match Rating: *

We go back to the chapel and Sherri has arrived in a limo. They argue about Parker saying that he gambled all of his money away. I don't know but I am mentally checked out from this show already. 

Oh, I know what will get me back into this, more Eric Bischoff. We see Jimmy Hart typing away in the back and Bischoff brings out Pillman. Pillman threatens to swear on live TV and then talks about Orndorff. This wasn't as good as what I was hoping for. 

Psychosis vs. Konnan

Thankfully, we do get Mike Tenay out here for this one. He brings up that Konnan was on the Starrcade 1990 card. I'm not sure that Konnan was the best choice for this match but we all know that things will change soon. Call the WCW Hotline to hear about the skits on the other program. Konnan hits a big DDT and it gets a mild pop from the crowd. Psychosis comes back with a dive over the top rope and to the floor. They go back into the ring and Konnan puts on the Zip Lock for the unimpressive victory. This was not anywhere to what you think of when you think of these guys in WCW. 

Match Rating: *

We go back to the chapel and nothing happens worthwhile. 

After a commercial break, we are still at the chapel and Mean Gene is interviewing Sherri. Harlem Heat and Disco Inferno are there now. Gene says that there is a cast of "thousands" here. As they're saying their I do's, Madusa comes and attacks Sherri. That was about the least exciting possibility for this wedding that they have been wasting so much time on that you can think of. 

Giant & Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage & Hulk Hogan

Kevin Greene and Miss Elizabeth are of course with the faces here. Before we even get any in ring action, Greene is in there ready to fight. We get the usual slow start which leads to Flair tagging in Giant and then Hogan tagging into the match as well. Still nothing really happens. If you tuned in to watch Child's Play, it will be immediately following this match. We get the usual Flair top rope spot, with Hogan slamming him to the mat. Savage follows up with a double a handle and a body slam. Savage hits the top rope elbow drop but Jimmy Hart is on the mat. Flair has a foreign object and hits Savage with it and that's all. Good thing that Greene and Elizabeth were both there to keep an eye on things. Out comes Zodiac and Brian Pillman and Greene and Hogan throw them over the top rope. Keep in mind that Greene is playing in the Super Bowl next week. The Steelers really allowed him to get involved? This stunk. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

It's pretty easy to see why they stopped doing the Clash shows. This was a worse version of Nitro in just about every way. All of the bad WCW was on display here. This felt like it was 10 hours long and it barely held my attention most of the time. 

Overall Rating: 32%

Off The Grid, Volume 63: The Main Event IV Review

Original Airdate: Friday, November 23rd, 1990
Allen County War Memorial Coliseum
Fort Wayne, Indiana

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Off The Grid, Volume 63:

I had planned on watching The Wrestling Classic this month and then I realized how much I hated that show, so I pivoted to this one. I have never seen this show despite being a fan at this time. We start off with Ted DiBiase with Mean Gene. They show some of his early shenanigans, highlighted by the twin referees. We get lots of laughing from Ted and that everyone has a price. He's a little more fired up than usual but says all his usual stuff. We go to Sean Mooney and Ultimate Warrior. Warrior says the power of his warriors can't be bought. He asks DiBiase what price is he willing to pay to be champion. 

WWF Championship Match
Ted DiBiase vs. Ultimate Warrior

Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper are your announcers here tonight. This show was taped on October 30th for those curious. It's also kind of strange that this aired the day after Survivor Series. We get things underway with Warrior shoving DiBiase around the ring. Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out of the ring and Virgil is there to check in on him. Warrior slams their heads together and then slams both of their heads into the ring apron. Warrior runs into a knee in the corner and DiBiase is able to hit a clothesline. He follows up with a second rope double ax handle for a 2 count. DiBiase hits a piledriver and gets another 2 count. He goes for a second one but Warrior hits a back body drop to counter out of it. Warrior runs the ropes but Virgil grabs his foot and Dibiase knocks him out of the ring. We go to commercial break as DiBiase goes outside. When we come back, DiBiase is going to work in the middle of the ring. We quickly get a Warrior comeback that is stopped short by a DiBiase clothesline. Warrior is able to pull off a backslide for a 2 count before DiBiase hits a suplex. He goes for another one but Warrior blocks it and hits a sunset flip for a 2 count. Interesting that they are going with Warrior as the plucky underdog here. DiBiase goes for another suplex and this time Warrior counters with one of his own. They collide in the middle of the ring and DiBiase is the first man back up. DiBiase goes off the second rope but Warrior hits him in the midsection. Warrior starts shaking the ropes and DiBiase sells it well. Warrior hits clotheslines and the flying shoulder tackle. He goes for the cover and in runs Virgil for the disqualification. Warrior nails him with a clothesline and the crowd is very much into this. He goes for the press slam but in runs Randy Savage and hits him with a scepter in the midsection. He hits a top rope elbow drop and starts throwing referees around the ring. This is all just absolutely nuts and I love it. Savage has the title and holds it up as Sherri gets in some cheap shots. After the dust settles, Warrior wills his way back up and holds up the title belt to his music. I really liked this a lot more than I thought I would. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

We go to Mean Gene, Savage and Sherri. Savage is doing a lot of his whisper talk, so much so that I have to crank up the volume to understand him. He talks about being champion and then we see Nikolai Volkoff in the ring waiving the US flag. We then go back to Mean Gene with Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. We get a commercial break and then see Slaughter walk down the aisle for about 15 seconds before another commercial break. 

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Sgt Slaughter

Slaughter attacks Volkoff before the bell and puts on the Camel Clutch. They continue the attack until Jim Duggan is out with the 2x4. Slaughter retreats and we don't have a match. I don't think anyone is too upset about that. Duggan waives the flag around. 

Big Boss Man is with Mean Gene and we're in the middle of the don't make fun of my mama storyline. 

Mr. Perfect vs. Big Boss Man

Perfect is without Heenan here. Perfect bumps around for Boss Man, who is at his peak as an in ring performer here. Perfect does the spot where he slides into the ring post below the belt. Boss Man comes back with a backbreaker before climbing the ropes. He misses with an ugly looking splash and Perfect is in control. It doesn't last too long and Perfect is back to bouncing around the ring. Bobby Heenan comes running out and Perfect hits a Perfect Plex. Boss Man somehow kicks at 2 and surprisingly there isn't much of a pop from that. Heenan holds down the top rope but Boss Man reverses and Perfect goes flying. Boss Man then goes chasing after Heenan and Heenan runs for his life. Boss Man goes back to the ring, but it's too late and Perfect wins by countout. Perfect then runs out of the ring with Boss Man furious. This was pretty good but Heenan running away was the highlight. 

Match Rating: **

Heenan is with Mean Gene and he's begging and pleading for Mean Gene to help him. 

We get the Playboy Buddy Rose weight loss vignette. They show him eating whatever he wants and that you pour a bunch of powder on yourself and use a fan to blow it all off. This was something. 

Rick Martel vs. Tito Santana

I'm always down to see these two wrestle. Martel attacks Tito before the bell and we are underway. They talk about the Jake Roberts incident with Martel and Tito is getting the better of Martel so far. Martel goes on offense before climbing the rope and Santana meeting him there. Tito fights back and is all fired up. He hits a dropkick and a backbreaker. A clothesline gets a 2 count. Martel goes for an atomic drop but Santana counters that into a Figure Four which Martel counters into a small package for a 2 count. Martel slaps on the Boston Crab and Santana has to quit. That was a really good final segment there. How can you not love these two? 

Match Rating: ***

Mean Gene is with Jake Roberts, who is wearing sunglasses. They show the Brother Love show where he was sprayed. Jake's sunglasses were never cool, not even in 1990. He says that Martel gambled and rolled the dice and says that he came up snake eyes while removing his glasses and revealing the affected eye. I was very much into this storyline as a kid. 

We go back to Roddy and Vince to recap the show. We then go to Ultimate Warrior backstage and he gives his whisper interview before screaming about his rage. 

Yeah, so this show was really good. The Warrior era is often remembered as being a failture, but tonight, this was all really good. Everything had a purpose and it all had great pacing. This is a big thumbs up from me. 

Overall Rating: 80%

Monday Nitro 1-22-96 Review

Monday, January 22nd, 1996
Caesar's Palace
Las Vegas, Nevada

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We are welcomed by Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael welcoming us as usual here. Randy Savage will take on Ric Flair tonight. Konnan walks up to the booth and introduces himself and says that he will be destroying Psychosis tomorrow night. 

WCW Championship Match
Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Savage is led to the ring by a bunch of women including Woman. Another looks to be Debra McMichael. Hulk Hogan comes out because of course he does. Since he and Savage are best friends, he wishes him good luck. Flair is out with Jimmy Hart. They start brawling outside the ring to start the match and Flair throws Savage into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Savage hits a clothesline and a 2 count. They go outside again and once again Flair throws Savage into the guardrail. Savage hits a back body drop on the mat outside the ring and Savage misses with a double ax handle off the top rope into the guardrail right as we go to commercial. When we come back they are once again slamming each other into the guardrail. I don't think I have ever typed that word more in a one match review than I have in this one. Bischoff says that Miss Elizabeth will be with Hogan and Savage tomorrow night. The Road Warriors and Kevin Greene are also going to be here tomorrow. Meanwhile, Flair has the Figure Four in the middle of the ring and starts using the ropes for leverage. Savage is out and makes his comeback. Jimmy Hart is on the apron and distracts Savage. Out comes Arn Anderson and he accidentally hits Flair in the face with the brass knuckles in front of the referee. The bell rings as if it is a disqualification but Savage hits the top rope elbow drop and the referee counts 3 and awards Savage the championship. Typical WCW. Oh and of course Hogan is out here too. Savage says to stop the music and Mean Gene is in the ring. Savage says that Hogan is celebrating like he won the match but Savage is the one who won. He tells Hogan not to embarrass himself like that. Hogan says that he won with a little help from his best friend which is debatable. Savage says that he's not Nick Bockwinkle and doesn't name #1 contenders but when it's his turn, he'll take him on and hopefully in Las Vegas. Hogan says he'll do what he has to do to become the #1 contender. Savage says he would shake Hogan's hand if he won but if he wins, which is probably going to happen, he wants Hogan to shake his hand too. The match itself was pretty cookie cutter but you got the rare world title switch on free TV, so that counts for something.

Match Rating: **1/2

Brian Pillman vs. Dean Malenko

Heenan never hit the highs of his comedy in WCW that he hit with WWF, but he is still so good at getting wrestlers over and is so valuable to their television product. We get mostly stalling here to start. Malenko gets the first bit of offense in and gets a 2 count with a reverse neck breaker. Pillman hits a tilt-a-whirl DDT and the announcers get on him for not going for the cover there. Malenko hits a variation of a powerbomb and we get an awkward spot where Pillman doesn't make it over the top rope after a dropkick. Pillman goes up top and Malenko is up there to try to stop him. Pillman headbutts him off and then goes for another DDT. This time Malenko counters it and hits a gutbuster that draws some cheers. We then get another weird spot where Malenko's foot gets caught in the rope and I don't see how the referee wouldn't have seen that. Pillman capitalizes and jumps on top of him and holds him down for a 3 count. I like both of these guys a lot but this wasn't good. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

They hype up WCW Saturday Night and for some sick reason, I wish I could watch all of those as well. 

WCW Tag Team Championship Match
Harlem Heat vs. Sting & Lex Luger

We get a commercial break before the match begins. We get a commercial for SuperBrawl, which is less than 3 weeks away and we have 0 matches that I'm aware of. Booker kicks Luger in the back while he's running the ropes and the distraction allows for Stevie Ray to take control. Luger fires back with a double clothesline and makes the tag to Sting. We get some Stinger Splashes in the corner and he goes for the Scorpion Death Lock but gets hit by the scissor kick from Booker. Sting runs into a boot in the corner and hits a modified bulldog from the second rope for a 2 count. Bischoff really can be annoying as a face announcer. It's probably for the best that he turned heel. Harlem Heat hit a double face-first suplex on Sting and Booker goes up top. He misses with the somersault off the top and Sting makes the tag to Luger. Jimmy Hart is out and hands something to Luger. This whole spot is so awkward. Why does WCW suck at this stuff so badly? The tag to Luger is treated as if it never happened I guess because the referee didn't see it but you'd have to be a moron to think that Sting didn't tag him since he was about 10 inches the last time the ref saw. Luger stands in the corner with his hand behind his back just to make it even more obvious. He gets tagged in and hits him with it and the quarters burst and the referee thinks nothing of that. Anyway, we have new tag champions and this was just so poorly executed that it's hard to give it a good rating. 

Match Rating: *

One Man Gang vs. Hulk Hogan

This is your reminder that One Man Gang was somehow the US Champion in 1996. Only in WCW would you have two title matches that end up in titles changing hands and still main event a show with Hulk Hogan and One Man Gang. Hogan knocks Gang off the apron and they start "brawling" outside the ring. I use that term lightly. Back in the ring, Gang hits a body slam and hits the big splash. Hogan of course bounces right back up and throws Gang into the corners and hits a clothesline. Hogan hits the slowest looking big boot ever and hits a body slam. Leg drop is enough to end this match and put us all out of our misery. This sucked worse than you probably even expected. If you think it can't get worse, Zodiac comes out and tries to attack him. Then Chris Benoit comes out and Arn Anderson follows. Randy Savage is in there to help. None of them get any offense in because why would 10 people be able to take care of 2? Giant comes out but everyone holds him back. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Mean Gene is in the ring with Hogan and Savage...again. They basically give the same interview as they did earlier. They hype up Kevin Greene being in their corner tomorrow and same with Miss Elizabeth. Gene is excited about that. 

The crew recaps the show and hypes up Clash Of The Champions. 

On paper, this should have been an amazing show. Instead, this one showcased all of WCW's flaws instead. Their stupid loyalty to Hogan, giving title changes away just because and poorly executed finishes. The first match was fun but everything after was not great. 

Overall Rating: 41%

Review #1,000! Smack 'Em Whack 'Em Review

Release Date: Wednesday, April 21st, 1993

After doing 999 reviews of mostly weekly TV and pay per view shows, I thought I might do something a little fun here. I haven't watched one of these videos in a long time, so I figured let's go with this one. This one is famous for the Ric Flair/Bret Hart match, but let's see what else it has to offer. 

Lord Alfred Hayes is here in an old looking house and that we are going to get some tips from the Bushwhackers on remodeling. Hayes was always horrible, but he looks particularly disinterested here. The Bushwhackers get Hayes all dressed up for construction work and then we are being told we will see our first match. 

Berzerker vs. Crush

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to Erie, Pennsylvania and we're stuck with more of Hayes here. Berzerker has always been an old favorite of mine as far as gimmicks that didn't catch on. Crush, on the other hand, is terrible. They do a test of strength and Crush no sells the cheap kicks Berzerker uses and he then shoves him over the top rope. A shoulder tackle from Crush sends Berzerker over the top rope again. We get lots of "Huss" in this match, in case you were wondering. Berzerker is back in and hits a side Russian leg sweep. Crush fights back with right hands but he runs into a big boot. They keep talking about Mr. Fuji not being the manager of Berzerker anymore. The crowd is dead for this, by the way. You'd think you'd want to pick a match that the crowd is into for the opener of a tape where you pick the matches. Berzerker hits a piledriver and it gets a 2 count. Naturally, Gorilla is all over him for the nonchalant cover. Berzerker ties Crush up in the ropes and hits some boots to the face. They kind of just keep crapping on Berzerker most likely because he doesn't work here anymore. Crush comes back with an inverted atomic drop and a backbreaker. Berzerker misses with a dropkick and Crush puts on the stupid finisher and eventually the referee calls for the bell. This wasn't awful, but it also wasn't anything beyond a Superstars match. This was also just a really odd selection for this tape. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We're back with Hayes and the Bushwhackers. The Bushwhackers are measuring for a window and they start smashing the wall with a sledgehammer. 

Repo Man vs. Earthquake

Gorilla alludes to the reason this match exists is due to the fact that Repo Man beat Typhoon. Repo gets the early advantage and hits a second rope clothesline. The interesting thing with Repo is that if he were Smash here, you wouldn't consider him an underdog here. Quake comes back and steps on him but then misses with the elbow drop. Repo goes off the top rope and kind of slips. Earthquake is ready for him and then he hits a powerslam. He sets him up for the big splash and nails it for the quick victory. This was another Superstars match. This match was from Dayton, Ohio. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

We get more Bushwhackers and they find some electrical behind the wall they are trying to demolish. This leads to Hayes being electrocuted with some terrible acting from Hayes. They turn on a light and Hayes appears to be dead, so they pass it on to Mean Gene and Yokozuna. Yes, this is real. 

Mean Gene is with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji at a teppan edo restaurant and Gene tells us that Yokozuna eats 1,500 calories a day. We now go over chopsticks and sushi, which in 1992 was a much more foreign concept to Americans than it is now. Gene eats some wasabi and then we get a video of mostly Yok chowing down on sushi. Yoko polishes off two plates of sushi and that's just an appetizer according to Mr. Fuji. The chef comes out and we get lots of classic Gene reactions here. The chef does many of the tricks you see at a teppan edo restaurant until Fuji says that Yoko wants his food. I can't believe that this is as long as it is. We watch him cook and cut up the meal and lots of Mr. Fuji encouraging Yoko's eating. Gene calls Yoko eating 11 ribeye steaks the most incredible display he has ever seen in his life. Next up is the shrimp. This feels like it is at least 45 minutes long. Fuji calls for dessert and Gene sells it and we're finally done here. 

It's time for the profile on Bret Hart. We go to Gorilla, who is with Bret, who seems really uncomfortable here. He talks about the ladder match with Shawn. This feels very much like public access television. 

Ladder Match For The Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

We're coming to you from Portland, Maine. This is the first ever WWF ladder match (I believe). Shawn gets the early advantage and then goes to get the ladder. He drags it to the ring and then Bret attacks him. We get our first ladder action with Michaels driving it into the gut of Bret in the corner. He tries to get a little momentum and Bret is able to move out of the way. We get our first climb with Bret reaching, but he doesn't get high enough before Shawn is able to pull him off. Bret hits a second rope clothesline to a nice pop from the crowd. Bret then hits a slingshot into the ladder in the corner. Bret tries to climb again and Gorilla is all over him again for not climbing high enough and now both men are down. Both men climb the ladder and the ladder tips over. Bret runs the ropes and Sherri grabs Bret's foot. That allows Shawn to hit the superkick. Shawn grabs the ladder but Bret dropkicks it and sends Shawn to the floor. Bret climbs the ladder and grabs the title to pick up the victory. This was obviously tame by modern standards, but it was very well worked and a good match for a new concept. The crowd was into all of it and that helped as well. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

Gorilla talks to Bret about having more title defenses than any champion in history. He talks about the upcoming match against Kamala. Bret says that he would take on all contenders. 

WWF Championship Match
Kamala vs. Bret Hart

Why would they pick this match? Kamala comes out to an introduction by Dr. Harvey Wippleman and gets absolutely no reaction from the crowd. We also have Sean Mooney instead of Gorilla Monsoon for this match. Bret gets most of the offense here. Kamala decides to ask Bret for a test of strength. Really? Bret steps on his foot instead. Kamala gets his turn for some offense here and everything about this feels cheap. Hayes is such a terrible announcer and Mooney is not meant to be a play-by-play guy. Bret catches a kick and hits a Russian leg sweep. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and now we have shenanigans. It leads to Kamala accidentally hitting Kimchee and Bret rolls him up for the victory. Kamala attacks him with the weakest looking chops that you'll ever see. He goes for a splash but hits Wippleman instead and Bret clotheslines Kamala over the top rope. This was all bad and I say this as a Bret Hart fan. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Gorilla says that people have been writing into Coliseum Video saying that we want to see the match where Bret won the belt. Can you imagine now if they did a major title change and no one saw it for months? Bret says that he knew he only had one chance to get the title and that there was nothing Ric Flair could do to stop him. He even sprained his ankle and dislocated his finger in this match and it still wasn't enough to stop him. 

WWF Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

We are in Saskatoon and at least we have Gorilla back here. Hayes and Gorilla both really hype up how good Bret is and that's a rare win from the commentary here on this tape. We get a pretty slow start to the match and some stalling from Flair. If you ever wanted to see Flair's butt, well this is the match for you. It wakes up the crowd and Bret destroys Flair after working on the arm of Flair for a few minutes. Bret goes to work on the leg and then slaps on the Figure Four. After getting out of that, Flair finally gets some offense and quickly puts on the Figure Four himself. Bret also escapes but Flair is still working on the leg of Bret. Flair goes up top and that of course doesn't work out well for him, as Bret slams him to the mat. Big back body drop and Bret gets a 2 count. Bret hits the second rope elbow drop and gets another 2 while Gorilla wonders why he doesn't go for the Sharpshooter. Flair tries some chops and Bret pulls down the straps and starts leveling him with right hands. Bret props Flair up o the top and hits a superplex. Bret slaps on the Sharpshooter and Flair gives up for a pretty non-WWF Championship match finish there. I have seen a lot of love for this match and of course it was pretty good, but I certainly did not love this nearly as much as most. Having someone win the title at a house show, even in 1992, was a really dumb idea. 

Match Rating: **3/4

Bret promises that he'll always be the people's champion. 

Back to the Bushwhackers and Hayes, who is alive. We get lots of yelling and water. 

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

This is very much still the old school Undertaker. Razor throws the toothpick to the back of Taker's head and heads outside the ring. Taker goes after him and Taker falls for the oldest trick in the book. Taker naturally no sells any of Razor's offense and chokes Razor in the corner. Razor runs into a boot in the corner and hits Old School before it was called that. Taker misses with an elbow drop and Razor clotheslines him to the outside, where Taker of course lands on his feet. Taker snaps Razor's neck on the top rope as the announcers speculate what is in the urn. Razor comes back with a second rope bulldog and Razor decides to hit Taker with a chair to the back and for some reason it's not a DQ. Razor throws him into the steps and back into the ring. Razor hits a body slam and Taker sits right back up. Razor hits a side slam and Razor hits six elbow drops. Paul Bearer is on the apron and Razor snags the urn out of his hands. Razor hits Taker with the urn behind the referee's back but Taker kicks out of the pin attempt with authority. Taker is back on his feet and hits a chokeslam. Razor rolls out of the ring and heads to the back for the countout finish. Undertaker's lack of selling was pretty annoying at this point. The crowd was also pretty dead for this, pun intended. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We had back to the Bushwhackers one last time and they have a wet Hayes sit down in an ugly chair and set up a TV for Hayes to watch some Coliseum videos. Hayes sends us off and we hear some noises and the Bushwhackers say "Oh, no". What an ending.

Well, if you're a Bret Hart fan, this is a must watch because you get to see his non-televised first WWF Championship victory and the first ever WWF ladder match. The ladder match in particular is worth a watch. However, the Yokozuna segment feels like an eternity and Hayes, who is a terrible announcer and actor, is on this tape WAY too much. I don't understand how WWF thought anyone wanted this guy to announce any match. The Bushwhacker segments aren't even fun. One would have been enough. This tape gets a mild recommendation because of the two aforementioned matches, but nothing more than that. 

Overall Rating: 50%

Monday Night Raw 1-22-96 Review

Monday, January 22nd, 1996
Stockton Civic Auditorium
Stockton, California

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We get a warning about the graphic nature of the show followed by Sunny putting chalk on a pool cue. We then get a Royal Rumble video narrated by both Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler. They announce that Bret Hart will face Goldust, Hunter Hearst Helmsley will square off against Razor Ramon and we'll hear from Shawn Michaels. By 1996 standards, that is a huge card. 

After the show intro, we go to the arena (probably putting it nicely calling it that) and Vince and Lawler are talking over Savio Vega's music. We then hear from Jim Cornette in the ring and he says that the most important question is "What time is it?" It's Vader time. 

Savio Vega vs. Vader

The crowd likes Vader probably more than Vince wants them to here. Vader hammers away on Savio in the corner and gets a lot of cheers. Savio fights back and hits Vader with a kick that sends Vader over the ropes but Vader lands on his feet. Savio it out after him and Vader drops Savio on the guardrail. I know Vader was injured at this time but he still looks good all things considered. Vader hits the avalanche in the corner and hits the Vader Bomb for the easy victory. That was an impressive win. 

Match Rating: *1/2

After the match, Vader hits a body slam on Savio and sets him up in the corner. He hits a second Vader Bomb and then headbutts the referee before throwing him out of the ring. Another referee is out and Vader hits him with a right hand and gives him a powerbomb. Gorilla Monsoon is now out and gets in his face. In case you forgot how big Monsoon is, he is standing toe to toe with Vader here. Monsoon talks to the ring announcer and he lets us know that Vader has been indefinitely suspended. Monsoon takes off his glasses and they get into each other's faces again. Cornette tries to calm Vader down and it doesn't work. Monsoon hits some chops and Vader is stunned. Gorilla is checking on the referee and Vader hits an avalanche. He hits him with an elbow drop and drags him to the corner. He hits the Vader Bomb and out comes Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. Vader heads out of the ring and even Vince is getting into it with him, wondering how he could have done that to Gorilla. 1996 me was VERY into this and looking back at it, this is still such an awesome way to introduce this character to the WWF audience. We go to commercial with Gorilla laying there. When we come back we get a recap and they show Gorilla being helped. Gorilla was 58 years old here for those wondering. We see Vader and Cornette arguing in the back and Vader tells that Vader is waging war on every wrestler and every official and that includes Mr. McMahon and Mr.....AHHHHH! That's one of the few times up to this point where a wrestler has said Vince's name as something other than an announcer. 

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Razor Ramon

This is the beginning of Helmsley bringing out a random valet to his matches. We get some still photos of Razor losing his Intercontinental title to Goldust with the help of 1-2-3 Kid at Royal Rumble. We get an interview from 1-2-3 Kid and Ted DiBiase who say that when you have a baby, you shove a bottle in their mouth and change their diaper, complete with props. Yes, this is real. Razor is dominating the early going into a quick commercial break. When we come back, we see Razor outside the ring and Helmsley hits a baseball slide. Helmsley tries to suplex Razor into the ring, but it's blocked. Razor tires one as well and that is blocked before Helmsley tries again and it's kind of blocked but it ends up with Razor being crotched on the top rope. Lawler tries to interview the valet. They do announce her name but does it really matter? Helmsley hits a clothesline and is showing a little bit more of an edge here tonight than normal. 1-2-3 Kid comes out and dumps a big baby bottle in his face. This actually fires Razor up and he hits some right hands on Helmsley before chasing Kid around the ring. Kid spits at him and that leads to more chasing and the eventual countout defeat. The match itself was going along pretty well but this was only here to give Helmsley a victory and for the feud of Kid/Razor to continue. Razor goes back into the ring and goes for a Razor's Edge but Helmsley escapes and heads to the back with his lady. 

Match Rating: *3/4

For comedic reasons, we're going back to Billionaire Ted's. Ted says that he's bought everything and he challenges his team to come up with one original idea. Scheme Gene says to call his hotline and all of the people at the table call it. Be careful what you wish for, Vince. 

They show Dok Hendrix and the Raw band playing live in the arena. I would have completely forgot this was ever a thing. Vince is in the ring and brings out Shawn Michaels, winner of last night's Royal Rumble. He says he told us so on winning the Royal Rumble and that WrestleMania is going to happen. But for the time in between, he wants to take care of the guy going around saying that he took him out and that's Owen Hart. He references the thugs that attacked him and that he will take care of them at another time. Out comes Cornette and he gets Shawn into putting up his WrestleMania title shot so that he can wrestle Owen. Shawn asks the crowd and they give him the thumbs up. 

They hype up next week's Raw with British Bulldog taking on Diesel and Shawn Michaels against Yokozuna. This crowd definitely got their money's worth in terms of seeing a Raw taping. 

Goldust vs. Bret Hart

A rare televised title vs. title match at this time. We get a pre-taped promo from Goldust as he's entering the ring, giving his performance last night two thumbs up. We get some stalling and a promise to try to get an update on Gorilla before our commercial break. When we come back, we're still not doing much. We get just a little bit of action and another commercial break. When we come back Goldust is in control of the match. Bret gets in some offense, Razor Ramon comes out and we get ANOTHER COMMERCIAL. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter and gets it on and that's it. This may be the most difficult lengthy match for me to grade up to this point. Why did they schedule so many commercials? Why would you have Goldust lose here? Vince comes in the ring and Bret blames Diesel for robbing us of a winner last night. He's sick of Diesel and he wants him in the steel cage match. Bret says that Taker will get another rematch. Bret's music is playing through all of this for some reason. 

Match Rating: *1/2

The match ratings here are nothing special, but believe me, this was a great episode of Raw. I know it's not sustainable to have this good of a show with anything that is weekly, but this is something that should happen much more often than it probably does. Lots of energy here coming off a pretty poor pay per view and that's very encouraging. 

Overall Rating: 80%

Royal Rumble 1996 Review

Sunday, January 21st, 1996
Selland Arena
Fresno, California

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We get Sunny in a bathtub telling us that viewer discretion is advised. This leads into a solid intro video highlighting Bret Hart/Diesel, Razor Ramon/Goldust and the Royal Rumble. Vince McMahon then screams us into the arena and is joined by Mr. Perfect. 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed runs down to the ring and we're underway. Jarrett sneaks out of the ring and baits Ahmed back into the ring. It doesn't work long and Ahmed hip tosses him across the ring. Ahmed hits a few shoulder tackles and a leaping clothesline. I love Mr. Perfect but announcing is not his strength. Jarrett is able to get Ahmed to leap at him and he goes out of the ring and gets his hand stuck in the ropes. Jarrett is out after him and throws him into the steps. Ahmed starts doing his version of hulking up by no selling Jarrett's double ax handles and explodes with another clothesline. He hits a spinebuster and then hits a dive over the top, kind of. He seemed to have gotten the worst of it. He throws Jarrett in the ring and misses with a somersault off the top rope. I completely forgot that he did that. Jarrett slaps on the Figure Four and the crowd is willing Ahmed into reversing it. Jarrett goes for it again, but Ahmed kicks him out of the ring. Jarrett grabs his guitar and hits Ahmed with it off the top rope for the lame DQ ending. Ahmed chasing Jarrett up the entranceway and we see the replay of the guitar smash. I'm not really sure what the point of booking this match was, since they clearly didn't want either guy to lose here. The match was fine enough for what it was. 

Match Rating: *1/4

Todd Pettengill is backstage with Diesel. He's kind of already back to his usual too cool for school persona rather than the edgy character we were getting. He says that he has no problem with Undertaker, his problem was with him being named the #1 contender. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Body Donnas vs. Smoking Gunns

We get a quickly paced opening with Billy and Skip leading the way. They do a fun spot where Skip and Zip try to pull the top rope to get Bart flipped into the ring. Bart lets go and then pulls both of them over the top and to the floor. We eventually get to a spot where Sunny gets up on the apron and Billy accidentally knocks her to the floor. Billy stops to check in on her and the Body Donnas attack with Sunny celebrating. Bart runs over to make a save but Skip hits a dive into Billy from the ring. The Donnas get a pretty lengthy heat segment until Bill and Bart are able to double team. From there they hit the Sidewinder but the referee is distracted by Sunny. This allows Zip to leap off the top and break up the pin attempt. We get a little bit of a messy finish with the Donnas trying to suplex Bart, but Billy knocks them away and Bart is able to hit an inside cradle for the victory. This was decent but more of a TV match. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Just what everyone wants on pay per view, a Billionaire Ted skit. This leads into a Goldust/Razor hype video narrated by Todd. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Goldust is out with the usher and the debut of Marlena. Vince is drooling over her. We get lots of stalling, sorry, I mean "mind games" to begin. Razor gets aggressive on the arm of Goldust and slaps the back of his head. Mr. Perfect says that if Razor loses the title here tonight, he'll be the sad guy. I didn't know that he brought the dad jokes here tonight. Goldust feels up the chest of Razor and Vince says that was something different. We are then reminded of how young the audience is when you hear a loud "Razor" chant made up of mostly younger kids. Goldust slaps Razor in the face and that prompts a drop toe hold and more slaps to the back of the head. He then slaps him in the butt and that gets Goldust excited. Razor chases after him and Goldust hides behind Marlena. We get some mat wrestling that is interrupted when Razor hits him with a right hand. Goldust blows a kiss at Razor, so Razor clotheslines him over the top rope. Goldust uses Marlena again and attacks Razor from behind. Goldust hits a double ax handle to the back of Razor off the top rope. Vince explains to us that when you throw your opponent's back into something that it hurts the back. I did not know that. Goldust hits a bulldog and then uses the top rope for some extra oomph on a back suplex for a 2 count. Marlena then blows some gold dust into the face of Razor. Goldust puts Razor in the sleeper. Razor gets back on his feet and corners the referee, which allows him to hit a low blow by kicking his leg back. Razor comes back with a chokeslam and gets a 2 count. Razor hits the fall away slam and that also gets a 2 count. This is actually a better match than I remembered. Razor crotches Goldust on the top rope and he hits the back suplex. Marlena is in the ring and acts as if she twisted her ankle. Razor signals for the Razor's Edge but in comes 1-2-3 Kid from the crowd and hits a spin kick from the top rope. Goldust covers him and is your new Intercontinental Champion. I mean, you had to know they weren't going to let Razor lose without some sort of cheap finish, but it seems odd that Goldust and Marlena came up with a plan with the Kid, but I guess in kayfabe all the heels get along. I had remembered hating this match and while this was far from anything special, it was a lot more entertaining than I recalled. 

Match Rating: **

We have finished 3 matches and we aren't even 55 minutes into the show. We hear from Shawn Michaels' doctor, Owen Hart, Jake Roberts, Jerry Lawler, Barry Horowitz, Vader (with Jim Cornette) and Shawn Michaels. That was kind of a weird mix of guys. Why would you have Vader and Jake here rather than their entrances do the talking? Perfect and Vince talk about Duke Droese being #30 after beating Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the Free For All, which means he is #1. They show a clip of him being disqualified for using a foreign object. 

Royal Rumble

Hunter is #1 of course and #2 is Henry Godwinn, unsurprisingly. A big thank you to the WWE for not paying for the rights for Godwinn's music and now we are forever tortured listening to this extremely loud, extremely generic banjo music instead. These two naturally go right at it and we are underway. They keep hyping up how this is the most exciting hour when in reality this match can be less than an hour, but who needs math? #3 is Bob Backlund just in case you needed a reminder of how stupid it is that they are making fun of WCW for how old their wrestlers are. #4 is Jerry Lawler. You know, more New Generation stars here. The heels team up and hold down Godwinn and Lawler grabs the slop bucket. Godwinn fights through it and gets the bucket. The heels go outside the ring, so Godwinn chucks it over the top rope and even gets some on the fans in the front row. Out at #5 is Bob Holly. Are they serious with this beginning? #6 is here and it is King Mabel. Who is going to be able to get him out of the ring? Out at #7 is that young up and comer making his return, Jake Roberts. Now with 100% more vest. He dumps his snake into the ring and everyone flees the ring. He puts it on top of Lawler and then thankfully he has him slide back into the bag with the help of the snake attendant. We get Mabel tied up in the ropes in the Andre spot. They do nothing with it so I'm not really sure what the point of that was? It's time for #8 and it's Dory Funk Jr., who looks 100 years old. Keep in mind that they just showed a video making fun of how old Hulk Hogan and Macho Man were. Dory is 54 years old here. Vince makes it very clear that Lawler has not been eliminated from this match. They find that Lawler is hiding under the ring and we get Yokozuna at #9. How are they going to get him over the top rope? Mr. Perfect questions where Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji are. Yoko dumps Backlund out and then goes after Mabel. Godwinn is behind Yokozuna and Mabel splashes both of them. Mabel hits a big splash on Godwinn and we count down to the 1-2-3 Kid at #10. He's being chased by Razor Ramon into the ring and all around the ring. The officials are able to calm Razor down but Razor is only playing, so he runs in gets his hands on him. Mabel attacks him and now this time Razor goes to the back. I could be wrong, but I believe this is the first time they have done a spot like that in the Rumble, so that's fun. Out at #11, it's the "wild man from Japan", Takao Omori. He comes out to absolutely no reaction prqobably because not a single person knows who he is. I just realized that Jake Roberts here is younger than I am in present day. Out at #12, it's Savio Vega. The crowd knows who he is and he also gets no reaction. He hits a spin kick on Mabel and that gets a reaction from the crowd. Yokozuna dumps Mabel out of the ring and that clears out some space in the ring. Lucky #13 is the man they call Vader. Now we have something to be excited about. Jim Cornette is at his side. He no sells a kick from Holly and starts nailing him with right hands. Talk about a disappointing way to enter the ring. How did they not him do a spot where he dumps 2 guys out? Instead, they have Savio Vega eliminate Funk. Did Art Donovan get in Vince's ear? He asks Perfect how much Vader weighs. #14 is Doug Gilbert and Perfect doesn't know who he is but is excited when Vince tells him. He talks about his history with his brother Eddie. Doug gets some terrible music and his entrance was something my cousins and I cracked up about since he looked like such a jobber. Vader gets rid of Jake for a mild reaction. Oh boy, at #15 it's one of the Squat Team members. Vader gets rid of the Squat Team guy and he's big, so the crowd kind of cares. At #16, it's the other Squat Team member. They meet in the entrance ramp and head to the ring together. Vader goes after both of them and clotheslines one of them over the top and Yokozuna eliminates the other ones. #17 is out and thankfully it's Owen Hart. Yoko and Vader work together to destroy Savio. At #18, it's Shawn Michaels. He naturally goes after Owen and now Vader and Yoko are going after each other. Shawn takes advantage and eliminates both of them. Vader comes back in and starts taking out his aggression on Shawn. Officials finally come out, but Vader dumps Shawn to the floor. They tell us that Shawn is still in the match. Meanwhile, apparently Hakushi is out now, so I guess he is #19. Gorilla Monsoon is in there now and he tells him to get out and Cornette tells him to listen. I love seeing Gorilla in there. #20 is Tatanka and he acts like anyone would care about him. Hakushi hits his cartwheel elbow on Owen. Those two deserved a proper feud. They show the replay of Michaels eliminating Vader and Yoko, which is honestly part of the reason I always laugh when they wonder how anyone will get any big guy out of the ring. Shawn can eliminated 1,000 pounds by himself. #21 is Aldo Montoya. You just can't have a Royal Rumble without Aldo. Perfect jokes that his jock is on the wrong part of his body and Vince just replies with a "I don't know about that". Triple H is in the Rick Martel spot here, as he's still in there. Shawn now leaves the ring and goes under the ring. He comes back and is dragging Lawler out by his legs. Lawler is hanging onto anything he can, but Shawn gets him back into the ring. It's time for #22 and it's Diesel. They surprisingly don't tease a breakup with him and Shawn, instead they trade a few shots. #23 is Kama and Vince tells us that the crowd is enjoying the Royal Rumble as he walks to the ring to no reaction. Why is Bob Holly still in this match? They have no storyline for him after this and I could be wrong, but don't think he's even on a pay per view the rest of the year. Maybe Survivor Series? At #24, it's the Ringmaster. He'll never pan out. For some reason, I really thought he would have a big impact on this match. I was wrong. Finally, Holly is eliminated by Ringmaster. What a way to make the crowd care about him. #25 is the heavy favorite, Barry Horowitz. Diesel just dumps over Hunter sort of out of nowhere. Out at #26 is someone who will definitely not make a difference in this match, Fatu. He hits a big kick on Kama and shoves him in the corner. There really has been a lack of action in a lot of this. I know I seem to feel that way about most of these Rumbles I have reviewed. They tease a suplex elimination spot with Owen and Shawn as we count down to #27 and that's Isaac Yankem. He sucks. Owen hits an enziguri and then somehow Owen is eliminated. #28 is Marty Jannetty, looking as dorky as ever. Marty and Shawn start battling and they both get knocked down. I appreciate the effort, but it felt rushed. #29 is British Bulldog to give us the follow up to last year's Rumble. They show Diana in the crowd and Bulldog eliminates Marty. Perfect realizes they missed Ringmaster get eliminated. Shawn and Bulldog are fighting outside the ring and in comes Owen illegally to attack Shawn. Shawn comes back in and dropkicks Yankem out of the ring. Sorry, I forgot to mention that Droese is #30, as we already knew. He gets eliminated really quickly and Shawn eliminates Bulldog. Kama almost gets Shawn out, but he skins the cat. Diesel eliminates Kama and as he turns around, Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Diesel for the chaotic ending. After the match, Diesel takes out his anger on Bulldog and then is back in the ring with Shawn. The music is now off and Diesel adjusts his glove. He then puts his arm above his head and Shawn does the cheesy high five to prove they are still friends. The finish was never in doubt, as it was clear that Shawn was their guy at this point. The roster still was in bad shape here, especially with having guys like Ahmed Johnson and Razor Ramon in singles matches instead of the Rumble. The action never got too exciting outside of a few spots. 

Match Rating: **1/2

WWF Championship Match
Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

During Undertaker's entrance, Diesel is standing there waiting for him. Diesel shoves Paul Bearer out of the way and they start going at it. They are separated and Diesel is heard saying "I ain't afraid of the dark". Vince says that this is Bret's 43rd pay per view match. Even though I actually did like Undertaker at this point in time. I was 100% behind Bret here. Bret tries to brawl a bit but it quickly gets slowed down and we get dumpy rest holds by Taker. I mean I know they got a lot of time to work with here but I am shocked that Bret was good with Taker slowing down the match so much this early on. Bret makes a little comeback and knocks Taker over the top rope. He hits a dive over the top and starts hitting him with right hands. Taker is able to drive Bret's back right into the post and shift the momentum right back in his favor. Bret is able to toss Undertaker into the steel steps and Bret starts working on Taker's leg. Bret locks in the Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The crowd is clapping along but this match is a good example of why a face vs. face match isn't always the best idea. They like both guys too much here to really pick a favorite. Taker reverses it and Bret gets the ropes to break the hold. Bret continues to work on the leg and this one is really dragging. We go back outside the ring and Undertaker starts choking Bret with the microphone cable while Paul Bearer distracts the referee. This actually draws some loud booing from the crowd. Taker then throws Bret into the timekeeper table. Back in the ring, Bret is able to take out Taker's leg and now some of the crowd is booing that. Bret slams Taker's leg into the ring post and goes back to working on the leg. Bret hits a bulldog but then Taker pops right back up. Taker is moving around in this match like it is still 1991 Undertaker. Bret hits the second rope elbow and he gives the symbol for the Sharpshooter and that gets a lot of booing. He goes for the move but Taker grabs him by the throat. They go off the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Bret takes off the top turnbuckle and then removes the mask of Taker. Bret throws Taker's face into the exposed turnbuckle and the ref is good with it as people are booing. I'm sorry, but if you're cheering Taker over Bret, we probably aren't friends. Bret runs the ropes and leaps but Taker catches him and hits him with the Tombstone. Out comes Diesel and he pulls the referee out of the ring. One kid in the front row was so upset when he looked down the entrance aisle and saw Diesel. I love it. They announce that Bret has been disqualified. They booked themselves into a corner and you knew you were getting something like that. Diesel is then shown giving Taker the finger and heads to the back. Taker heads after him with a limp. They play Bret's music as he sells his injuries. Vince wonders if Bret would have been pinned while Perfect is 100% positive he would have. This was a huge disappointment and the crowd not firmly being behind a guy didn't do it any favors. They just worked at such a slow pace and it's a reminder that if Taker isn't working with a guy on his best day, he's not good enough to be considered an all time great. Sorry, just because you wrestled forever and had a bunch of matches where people carried you, it doesn't make you a great wrestler.

Match Rating: **

Now it's time for Royal Rumble Plus. We go to Todd Pettengill and Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla announces that Bret Hart will defend his title against Diesel at In Your House. I'm not sure how in kayfabe that Undertaker wouldn't get another title shot since he would have won but what do I know? Dok is with Shawn Michaels and he says that he has completed phase one. We go back to Todd and Gorilla and in walks Undertaker. He says that it will be a cold day in Hell before Diesel wears the title. Gorilla says he doesn't want what happened tonight to happen again, so he's making it a cage match. Dok is with Diesel and he says that Bret is living and breathing because he allows it. We're getting dorky Diesel again here. We then go to Todd with Jim Cornette and Vader. Vader is slamming things into the lockers and Cornette is just yelling. Now we get a video package of highlights from tonight's show before going off the air. 

Any show that I ordered has some nostalgia for me. I have probably seen this show at least 10-15 times and definitely don't hate it, there just really isn't anything that stands out to make it unique. None of the matches are that great and that definitely hurts it. You would have thought that Taker and Bret could have had a classic with the time they were given, but for whatever reason, it just didn't click. 

Overall Rating: 41%

Off The Grid, Volume 62: Saturday Night's Main Event XII Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, October 3rd, 1997
Hershey Arena
Hershey, Pennsylvania

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Off The Grid, Volume 62:

Honky Tonk Man says he is going to steal Miss Elizabeth, Randy Savage tells us to freak out, freak out, King Kong Bundy talks about Mr. Blunderful, Sika eats a chicken and Hulk Hogan says that Sika can't eat these 24" pythons. 

Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan welcome us to the arena to talk about the title matches and Heenan is all fired up tonight. Mean Gene is with Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart. They make a big deal about Honky demanding to come out first, which is rare for a champion. Uh, have they never watched a WWF show? The heel champ so often comes out first. Honky is pretty great here. As always here on SNME, we see Honky's entrance and then go to Mean Gene with Randy Savage and Elizabeth. Savage says that Honky doesn't know the difference between a guitar string and a g string, which naturally cracks Gene up. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Honky Tonk Man vs. Randy Savage

Heenan says that Elizabeth is attractive in a gaudy way, which infuriates McMahon. I love this era of Savage so much. Honky at this time is pretty great also. Honky telegraphs a back body drop and Savage kicks him in the face before leaping over the top rope to snap Honky's neck on it. Honky regains control and hits the second rope fist to the face. Savage explodes back hitting the double ax handle off the top rope but Jimmy Hart gets involved. Savage turns his attention to Hart and hits him with a right hand to a huge pop. The Hart Foundation are now out to check on Jimmy. They carry him to the back as we go to a commercial break. When we come back Honky is back in the ring and it isn't long until Savage is back in control. Honky rakes the eyes and dumps Savage, which allows the Hart Foundation to attack him. Savage battles back and hits the scoop slam and the top rope elbow drop but Bret Hart runs in and hits him before the referee counts 3. You knew we were getting a cheap finish the second that the Foundation came out. They attack Savage and Honky grabs the guitar. Honky gets set up and takes his time before Elizabeth finally steps in front of him. She begs Honky to stop but Honky shoves her to the mat and then orders her out of the ring. She heads to the back with the cops and Honky finally smashes the guitar on Savage's head after a lot of stalling. Honky dances and out comes Elizabeth with Hulk Hogan. Hogan gets attacked upon entering the ring, but as always, he fights off all three men. Savage pitches in now and they accidentally bump into each other and throw up fists. Savage then reaches out his hand and Hogan shakes hands with him. This whole thing took up over a third of the show and for the most part lived up to that distinction. Savage was super over and Honky is probably the most hated heel at this point. 

Match Rating: ***

We see Sika coming into the ring and then go back to a pre-recorded interview with Mr. Fuji and Sika. Fuji is so happy that Hogan is so tired from his 30 second fight out there. They then show Sika biting the head of the chicken again. We then go to Hogan talking about the madness of him and Savage working together. Hogan says that in the jungle the bigger animals gobble up the little ones. He's ready to tear up the whole tribe. 

WWF Championship Match
Sika vs. Hulk Hogan

Sika gets the better of Hogan and Fuji chokes him with the cane. Fuji then jabs him with the cane but Sika misses the headbutt. Hogan clotheslines him through the ropes because of course he does. Hogan goes after Kimchee and that allows Sika to nail him in the throat. Hogan shoves Sika into the ring post and steals the cane from Fuji. The refs try to take it away from Hogan as we go to the commercial break. Hogan goes for a splash, but Sika gets the knees up. Sika chokes and Fuji gets some more cane action in before we get the inevitable Hulk up moment. He hits the scoop slam and a leg drop for the victory. He then gets in shots on Kimchee and Fuji. I've made it pretty clear on here that I have never liked Hogan, but I did like how involved Fuji was here and Sika played his role well here. 

Match Rating: **

Paul Orndorff is with his new manager, Oliver Humperdink. Why? Orndorff says that he's going to make the fat lady sing the blues. This was not good. We then hear from King Kong Bundy and talk about Heenan staying in the announce booth. Bundy says he has a lot of confidence in his ability. 

Paul Orndorff vs. King Kong Bundy

Orndorff tries to get off to a quick start but then misses with a dropkick. I will never be a fan of the no eyebrows look for Bundy though. Bundy misses an elbow and Orndorff battles back. A second rope elbow drop knocks Bundy down and gets a 2 count. Heenan is shown leaving the announce booth and Orndorff hits a dropkick. Out comes Andre The Giant and Heenan is back to the announce booth. I didn't really expect this match to get as much time as it is. Bundy misses in the corner with the Avalanche. Andre grabs Orndorff's tights and pulls him in the corner to hold him and this time Bundy connects and picks up the victory. I wouldn't classify this as good by any means, but it was definitely better than I was expecting. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Mean Gene is with the Hart Foundation and compares what they did earlier to Pearl Harbor. Uh, not sure that's a great comparison. Gene is so offended by them saying that they are going to punch and slap around the Stallions. Neidhart was good in these interviews. 

WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Young Stallions vs. Hart Foundation

Jimmy is not out here with the Foundation so I'm not sure there's any way that they'll ever be able to beat the legendary Young Stallions. A crossbody by Powers on Bret gets a close call and then Bret quickly shifts the momentum in their favor. Paul Roma gets the hot tag and now all four men are in the ring. Roma hits his nice body slam, but the pin attempt is broken up. That allows the Harts to hit the Hart Attack and get the easy victory here. This was hardly anything. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go back to Gene who is with Hogan and Savage. Hogan says that they may just blow up the planet and we get lots of astronomy talk. They coin the name Mega Powers here, so there's that. 

Now it's time for the world premiere of "Piledriver". If you ever wanted to see wrestlers in construction gear, then this is the video for you. 

We go back to Heenan and McMahon to wrap it up. Heenan is bragging about Andre being his surprise. 

We come back again and they let us know that Jimmy Hart is okay and we sign off with the usual music and highlights. 

This was another good episode of SNME overall. A lot happened in a short time and most of the matches were good. Even for someone like myself who can't stand Hogan is able to get into the story here and be entertained. Thumbs up.

Overall Rating: 73%

Superstars 1-20-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 20th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

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We get a Shawn Michaels intro talking about him coming back tomorrow night and that he's going to win the Royal Rumble again. Lots of cheesy Michaels here. Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect and Jim Ross welcome us here to hype up this awesome card we have here today. 

Sid & 1-2-3 Kid vs. Avatar & Aldo Montoya

They are hyping up this new masked tag team that I promise we are going to see so much of. Avatar and Montoya get to work on Kid, which is typical for Kid on Superstars, but I don't understand it as far as building a new heel. Kid finally is able to hit a spin kick but Avatar rolls him up and gets a 2 count. Sid gets in a cheap shot on Montoya even though he ran into the corner for seemingly no reason. Sid tags in and works on Montoya before telling us that no one better touch the Kid. Sid hits a chokeslam and a powerbomb and tags in Kid so that he can come in and make the cover. As far as squashes go, this was a better than usual one. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We go to Dok Hendrix and he runs down the card again. We hear from Goldust and he quotes the film Payton Place and talks about spanking Razor Ramon. We then hear from Ahmed Johnson and he is the definition of LOUD NOISES. 

We get a Vader vignette and then Diesel talks about Vader and that it will be Diesel Time at the Royal Rumble. 

Ringmaster vs. Scott Taylor

We get a split screen interview from Ringmaster with laughing from Ted, so naturally Perfect likes it. Ringmaster does the old schtick of pulling off the pin attempt before the referee calls 3 because why not? He slaps on the Million Dollar Dream and between the empty seats in the background and the dead silence, you can guess how this went. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get another Shawn Michaels hype video. I can't help but wonder if he has a shot of winning this Rumble.

Hakushi vs. Jeff Hardy

For some reason we get a promo from Barry Horowitz telling Hakushi that it's every man for themselves in the Royal Rumble, but they are still friends. Hakushi quickly hits the second rope splash for the easy win. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to a cemetery with Paul Bearer and Undertaker. Bearer says that the Creatures of the Night are finally getting what they want when Bret Hart will rest in peace. 

Body Donnas vs. Chaz Warrington & Glen Ruth

They show Sunny's pool vignette as we start to move towards the Attitude Era. I do have to say, it really is hard to tell that it's Tom Prichard without really looking at him. They hype up the Free For All. Two men will draw blanks and those two will have to fight with the winner getting #30 and the loser getting #1. I actually love that idea with the only exception is that it takes away the surprise of #30. They also hype up how Fresno is sold out for Royal Rumble. I'm as shocked as you are. Zip hits a splash off the top for the win. They looked like a competent tag team here. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show Razor Ramon destroying Goldust from Raw on Monday. 

Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo

We get a shot of Yoko's butt and then the obligatory talk of how hard it will be to eliminate him in the Rumble. Vince argues that Apollo has a chance here against Yoko with Perfect. We get an interview with Owen Hart and Jim Cornette with Owen telling him that he better be on his side when he wins the Rumble. We are getting quick squashes here today with Yoko hitting the Banzai Splash for the win. We are very close to Yoko becoming face and he got absolutely no reaction here. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time to go back to Dok for his final chance to get you to buy the Rumble. We hear from Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who talks about refusing to wrestle recently so he can win the Rumble. He's doing his poor fake English accent here. We then hear from Bret Hart and he isn't afraid of him, he just wants to know who is better. 

Isaac Yankem vs. Diesel

How are there still 10 minutes left in this show? Diesel goes right after Yankem because he knows he sucks and the crowd doesn't want to see him. Yankem clotheslines him over the top rope and why is he even getting any offense here? This gimmick was dead before it arrived. Lawler grabs Diesel's leg and that allows Yankem some more offense. Jim Ross talks about the Swat Team and how big they are. One thing's for sure, they will have a huge impact on the company. I know I rag on Yankem/Kane, but in all seriousness, why is this even a fight? Yankem misses with a top rope leg drop. Diesel's comeback doesn't last long and Yankem gets MORE offense. Diesel has had enough and hits the Jackknife for the win. I've seen much worse from Yankem, but still. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Now it's time for more Billionaire Ted. I think it's the same one, but I don't care enough to even check. 

We get one last reminder that the Royal Rumble is tomorrow, and they run down the card. 

This was a typical episode of Superstars with the extra hype for the show tomorrow. The card is actually fairly intriguing, but the Rumble itself lacks star power. I'm still in shock that the Diesel match got more time than the Sid and Kid match, which was a mistake. 

Overall Rating: 38%

Monday Nitro 1-15-96 Review

Monday, January 15th, 1996
Knight Center
Miami, Florida

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We are welcomed by Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael as always. 

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

They announce that Savage will get a title shot against the winner of tonight's main event. The crowd is very into this one, as you would expect for a pay per view quality match. It really is amazing that Raw was headlined with Undertaker vs. Isaac Yankem. I have to say that this arena is an odd set up and doesn't look that great on TV whenever they go away from the standard ring shot. I guess I should start talking about the match, huh? Savage misses with a top rope elbow drop and Luger puts Savage up in the Torture Rack. Savage actually gives up? These are the kinds of things about WCW that were really just not well thought out. You give away a headlining match on free TV and rush through a match and give away a clean finish? Look, I love a clean finish as much as anyone, but Savage submitting should be saved for major events. The match was spirited and the crowd loved it. 

Match Rating: **

We're supposed to get Hugh Morrus and Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman but instead, they all walk out together along with Gene Okerlund and all the other members of their groups. Arn says that there is no financial gain with this match, so they are scrapping the match. Flair being the champion is the main order of business. Sullivan then says that Flair is the greatest champion of all time. Sullivan says that Flair can borrow the Giant at Clash of the Champions. Sullivan then says that he only has a problem with Pillman because he has no respect. Pillman chimes in and Anderson slaps him. 

Public Enemy vs. American Males

Bischoff gets word that they have a standby match and it's the debut of Public Enemy. I remember Public Enemy being such a staple of Nitro when it went to 2 hours (or at least that's what my memory tells me). We get a pretty standard TV tag match to start things off, which feels like a mistake. Bagwell hits a big scoop slam and then a botched looking roll up. Johnny Grunge then rolls him up and holds onto the tights for a really ugly looking finish. After the match, they continue the attack and set up a table outside the ring. They stack a second one on top of it and put Bagwell on it. Rocco Rock does a somersault dive from the top rope and hits it through the two tables. Tables may be kind. They are just pieces of plywood on stands. The match was awful. The dive at the end was the only thing worthwhile. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

WCW Championship Match
Sting vs. Ric Flair

Imagine having a title match not be a main event on your weekly free program. Sting dominates the early going, hitting a lot of the signature spots. Sting hits a big superplex but then Flair gets the knees up for the follow up splash. We get a commercial break and Sting tries to make a comeback but now both men are down. Sting misses with a dropkick and Flair goes for a Figure Four but Sting turns it into an inside cradle for a 2 count. Sting is back at it now with a big press slam but then runs into an elbow. Sting throws Flair off the top rope and then no sells a chop to the chest. He hits a less impressive second press slam. Jimmy Hart is on the apron now and Luger comes out to get him off. This leads to him accidentally pulling the megaphone away and hitting Sting with it. That's enough for Flair to win and Luger is mad at Jimmy. He goes after Flair but then Hulk Hogan and Savage are out to clear the ring and Mean Gene is in there to look at them checking on Sting. The match was going along pretty well until the ending. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Hogan hopes that Sting finally got some good sense knocked into him. Savage tells him to wake up and Hogan tells Sting that Luger is the reason he lost. Sting can't remember and he goes to the back to hear it from the horses' mouth. Hogan then tells Savage that he has a problem with him. He should be getting the title shot and not Savage. Hogan is so annoying and Savage says he'll see him at the Clash of the Champions. 

Meng vs. Hulk Hogan

In typical WCW fashion, Hogan goes to the back just to come back out for this match. I like Meng but it's hard for me to get excited about this match. Hogan is so terrible here and Meng never seems to win. Meng hits a body slam but misses with a second rope splash. Sullivan gets up on the apron but Savage is out there. He helps him there and Hogan hits a big boot for the win. This was the quality of match that you see after a live taping. Absolutely pointless. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

This was a pretty good episode overall with a lot of action, even if it wasn't all good necessarily. They were still in full court press mode with putting huge matches on free TV every week here, so they also win the war on that since Vince McMahon usually lost interest in stuff like that after a few weeks. 

Overall Rating: 56%

Monday Night Raw 1-15-96 Review

Original Airdate: Monday, January 15th, 1996
Bob Carpenter Center
Newark, Delaware

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We get a Martin Luther King Jr. intro. We then get a warning for graphic nature after that. They then run through a bunch of stuff for a scattered intro. 

Marty Jannetty vs. Owen Hart

I'd be good if this one got 20 minutes. Jerry Lawler predicts that someone with royalty will win the Rumble. Owen Hart, Mabel or himself. We get some good action as we head into the first commercial break. I really wish I didn't have to binge all of these Raw episodes without watching Superstars (and Nitro). Hopefully it will prove to have been a bad idea by me, but I have no faith that they will put this up on Netflix. We get mostly 50/50 action and then kind of a winner out of nowhere with Owen pinning Marty with a bridge. 

Match Rating: **

We go to Todd Pettengill and he's hyping up the first ever Free For All on the Preview Channel. I was legitimately so excited for this. I am pretty sure I watched every Free For All there ever was. Todd announces that there will be a match where the winner will get #30 in the Rumble and the loser will be #1. They flash through a lot of the Superstars in it, but don't name them like they typically do. We hear from Diesel and he says that it's Diesel time. We then see more of Vader. Todd promises that they won't show these Royal Rumble matches anywhere else like they did In Your House. That's still hilarious to me. 

We go to Dok Hendrix and he tells us that Razor Ramon is furious with Goldust and he can't wait any longer to tear Goldust apart. 

We then get the Sunny playing pool Raw vignette. Then they hype up the rest of the show into a commercial. 

Ringmaster vs. Matt Hardy

It's always good to see Matt Hardy. It's hilarious to me that someone approved the name "Ringmaster". Ringmaster has a real Widowmaker vibe to it. This match should be over already It should have been 5 moves and over. If they wanted to make this extended, they should have given him Bob Holly or Barry Horowitz. Ringmaster reverses a suplex by hitting a face first suplex. Ringmaster drops Hardy on the top rope and then slaps on the Million Dollar Dream for the victory. Like I said, this should have been quicker. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a Shawn Michaels video package about how exciting he is. They then go over the concussion drama. They once again show him announcing that he'll be in the Royal Rumble. This, of course, is the origin of the "boyhood dream". 

We go to Dok again and he said that Razor is just a few miles from the arena. 

Smoking Gunns vs. The Spiders

We join this awesome match in progress. The Spiders are the Headbangers. They hit the Sidewinder and that is all. They mention the match with the Body Donnas, who have not been on Raw ahead of a pay per view title match. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go back to Billionaire Ted wanting to buy WWF. 

Vince McMahon is in the ring for an interview with Goldust. They play on the homophobia of this era. It's all about as classy as you would expect it to be from pro wrestling. They go back to Dok and he thinks Razor has just gotten here. 

We see Razor walk in the arena.

Isaac Yankem vs. Undertaker

Lawler gives Yankem a pep talk before the match. There are very few matches that I want to see less than this one. Why are there still 2 commercials left in this show? The Undertaker dominates until the King gets involved and Yankem is able to drive Taker into the ring post. We go back to Dok and he says that after the match, he'll get to interview Goldust about his match with Bret Hart next week on Raw. Gee, I wonder what will happen. Taker reverses a piledriver and they cut to Dok, likely because they botched the move. Taker hits the Tombstone and puts us all out of our misery. This was horrible. I can't believe they saw this and were like, give me about 95 more televised matches of this. 

Match Rating: 0 Stars

Dok interviews Goldust and wouldn't you know it, Razor attacks him. I didn't see that coming. Goldust is able to slow him down with a low blow and then we go to commercial. 

We get Sunny in a bath tub. 

They show the same Razor attack again. The amount of filler on a 45 minute show the last month or two has been crazy to me. 

As mentioned, next week it will be Bret vs. Goldust. Don't forget to buy the Royal Rumble. They run through the card real quick and go back to Dok. Razor attacks Goldust again and throws him out the door and into the snow. He tries to hit him with a shovel, but Goldust throws him into a truck. Goldust is able to get away in a car before we end the show. That at least was pretty fun. 

I really hope that this isn't the last Raw I get to watch because that main event sucked big time. Let's hope Netflix decides to put the Raw library up sometime soon. If not, I bought myself some time by binging these episodes and actually made it further than I thought I would. Anyway, this episode sucked again, which is a shame heading into Royal Rumble. After a little hot streak in the fall, they have definitely slipped again. There are a few good things going on, but the taping cycle is really killing Raw. 

Overall Rating: 28%

Superstars 1-13-96 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, January 13th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

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We kick off the show with them showing Shawn Michaels throwing his name in the Royal Rumble and that no matter who the champion is, they will be facing him at WrestleMania. 

Henry Godwinn vs. Owen Hart

Here's a match that I can get behind. We get some good pro wrestling to start off and Owen hits a top rope elbow drop before slowing things done. Godwinn hits a back body drop and a clothesline to regain the momentum. Godwinn hits a big press slam and goes for the Slop Drop. Jim Cornette gets on the apron and that's enough for Godwinn to go after him. That allows Owen to hit an enziguri and then puts his feel on the ropes for the victory. That was shorter than it deserved to be, so it never had a chance to live up to my expectations. I guess I shouldn't be surprised with it being Superstars, but a guy can dream. After the match, Godwinn tries to slop Owen, but he ducks and it hits Cornette.

Match Rating: *1/2

We get more Shawn Michaels with more of the press conference shown of him declaring that he is in the Royal Rumble. We hear from some Superstars on Shawn being in it including Diesel, Owen Hart and Razor Ramon. 

Smoking Gunns vs. Jason Ahrndt & Phil Apollo

The announce team lets us know that the Gunns will be defending their titles against the new team of the Body Donnas at Royal Rumble. This is the usual squash here with the Gunns looking good. They hit the spinning double team neckbreaker for the victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Dok Hendrix who is wearing leather gloves and a leather jacket for some reason. He hypes up Royal Rumble before we hear from Paul Bearer and Undertaker. I guess the skies are already dark over Fresno. It's probably just the pollution. Bret says Taker will fall to the excellence of execution.

We go to Vince and he introduces the Vader promo video. 

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Hardy

We get a Goldust interview during the match and he talks about getting his hands on Razor's body. Meanwhile, Razor hits a fall away slam before setting him up for the super back suplex. He signals for the Razor's Edge and then out comes the usher of Goldust. He holds a photo of Goldust centerfold type picture. Razor goes after him and rips up the picture and that leads to Hardy winning the match by countout. He takes his frustration out on Hardy and hits the Razor's Edge. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it's Diesel vs. Isaac Yankem. Oh boy. 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Marty Garner

They show Jarrett going after Ahmed on Raw with his guitar and it didn't work out. After watching some Honky Tonk Man recently, it is just so crazy how much more over he was able to get over than Jarrett ever was able to. I'd argue that Jarrett is more popular in 2025 than he was at his peak. Anyway, he slaps on the Figure Four and no one cares. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We see clips of the Ringmaster's debut on Raw with Brother Love. 

Duke Droese vs. The Spider

So I guess Droese still exists. In 2025, I think it's fair to say that we wish he never did. Speaking of no one caring about matches, this one would also qualify. JR claims he is underrated and he hits the Trash Compactor for the quick win. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go back to Dok and he says that Duke is trying to claim one of the last three spots in the Rumble. He names British Bulldog, Savio Vega, Bam Bam Bigelow, Vader, King Mabel, Barry Horowitz, Bob Backlund, Hakushi, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Henry Godwinn and Jerry Lawler, Dory Funk Jr., Owen Hart, Tatanka, Diesel, Jake Roberts, Isaac Yankem, Marty Jannetty, Yokozuna, Ringmaster, Kama and Shawn Michaels. I may have missed one or two there. We hear from Lawler, Marty and Diesel in between there. The Marty one is particularly lame. 

Barry Horowitz vs. Goldust

It seems like a lot of fake crowd noise being pumped in on this episode. Before I even think about wanting to bother typing about this one, Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the quick victory. Horowitz got a couple of moves in and that was all. They show Razor Ramon in the back watching on the screen and he's not impressed. Why didn't he come out and cost him his match. They then show Goldust unzipping his ring wear and making most kids at home uncomfortable. He then reveals a hear with Razor in the middle painted on his chest. Razor is disgusted and yeah. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Next week it will be Aldo Montoya and Avatar against Sid and 1-2-3 Kid. The Ringmaster also makes his Superstars debut. We then go to Billionaire Ted's War Room...

Another pretty poor episode here as there are just a lot of characters that no one really seems to care about. I like this era probably more than 99% of fans but when you look back on it, it's pretty easy to see why they were failing. By the end of the year, things started heading in the right direction but unfortunately, I may never get to re-live it. We shall see. 

Overall Rating: 34%

Monday Nitro 1-8-96 Review

Monday, January 8th, 1996
North Charleston Coliseum
Charleston, South Carolina

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Steve McMichael welcome us as always. They hype up the big main event of Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan against Ric Flair and Arn Anderson. Heenan says wherever you see two Horsemen, you see Four Horsemen. This leads to Pillman and Benoit on the way to the ring. 

Chris Benoit vs. Alex Wright

My biggest complaint with these early weeks of Nitro has been the lack of total superstars that have been featured. Wright has only been on a few times, so it's good to see him on here. Benoit attacks him on his way into the ring and is showing more aggression than we have seen in this run here. They mention how Pillman has been walking the line of being suspended for some of his off the wall antics and he gets in a cheap shot on Wright. Wright comes back with a slingshot that sends Benoit to the floor. He hits a baseball slide that sends Benoit into the guardrail and then a top rope crossbody to the floor. He turns his attention to Pillman before going back into the ring. Wright puts on a Boston Crab and then a STF. Wright feels like he is just sort of doing moves here as he hits a suplex. Wright goes after Pillman again and this time gets a shot in. Benoit gets his knees up when Wright tries to splash him. We get some back and forth in counters before Benoit hits him in the face with a right hand. Benoit hits a German suplex into a bridge and gets the victory. This wasn't bad action but like I mentioned, it kind of just felt like Wright was doing moves just to do them. 

Match Rating: **

Lord Steven Regal vs. Eddie Guererro

The amount of jabs they have taken at WWF so far this week is already exhausting me. They keep talking about how much action they are giving you for free as if they don't run as many pay-per-views or something. Credit to Heenan for not really joining in on the annoyance. Regal does his usual mat wrestling to start off until Guerrero explodes for a hurricanrana. Regal is starting to get angry and is increasing the intensity behind his blows. Regal continues to control the match until Guerrero sneaks in a backslide and steals the victory. Regal is livid and keeps attacking Guerrero to the point where the announcers aren't even sure if he won. This was pretty good but a little on the dull side. 

Match Rating: *1/2

We go to Mean Gene with Lex Luger and Sting but not before he makes fun of the New Generation. I guess the Huckster stuff did get under their skin. I don't get why because that was awful too. They tease the drama behind their friendship and it leads to them agreeing to be a tag team. This was lame. 

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting

Finally, we are getting some DDP on this show. Classic WCW with having Sting out for the interview and then having him come out right after for a match. Drives me nuts. Sting is destroying DDP as the announce team keeps telling us how much better DDP is than he used to be. We get what looks to be a miscue when Sting leapfrogs DDP but doesn't get all the way over. DDP goes to a rest hold already and just slows this thing down all the way. Sting makes his comeback but when he goes for the Scorpion Death Lock, DDP is too close to the ropes. DDP takes advantage briefly before Sting locks it on again and picks up the win. Sting continues to be over but this one wasn't that great. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

They continue to hype up Clash Of The Champions and how it is free. Again, this company runs a ton of pay per views. We aren't stupid. 

Ric Flair & Arn Anderson vs. Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage

It looks like these four are going to get some time to have a match. It gets harder for me to focus on anything Hogan does at this point. He is insufferable. We finally get Savage in and he slams Flair off the top rope. Savage puts on the Figure Four and then Hogan comes in and puts it on Anderson. This leads to Anderson hitting a DDT on Savage because Hogan is an idiot. Flair throws Savage over the top rope behind the referee's back. Later on, they throw Savage into the guardrail. Hogan gets the hot tag but Arn hits a spinebuster. Hogan no sells it and hits the big boot/leg drop combo for the victory. Out comes the Dungeon of Doom and Giant hits a chokeslam on Hogan while Kevin Sullivan and Pillman brawl. Were they supposed to stop the finish of the match? I really wasn't into this main event and the action was mostly vanilla.

Match Rating: *

This one felt like it should have been better than it was. There was a lot of wrestling action, which I appreciated. The announcers were unbearable this week and the storylines didn't really advance that much this week. I'd put this one somewhere in the middle.

Overall Rating: 49%

Off The Grid, Volume 61: Clash Of The Champions XVI: Fall Brawl Review

Thursday, September 5th, 1991
August-Richmond County Civic Center
Albany, Georgia

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

Off The Grid, Volume 61:

Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone welcome us at ringside before passing it off to Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt and Paul E. Dangerously as our interviewers. 

Georgia Brawl Battle Royal

Each entrant gets their name called to generic music. We have Big Josh, Steve Austin, Oz, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, PN News, Z-Man, Terrance Taylor, One Man Gang, El Gigante, Thomas Rich, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, Young Pistol Tracy, Ranger Ross and Bobby Eaton. Ranger Ross, Big Josh and Taylor all get eliminated first at the same time. This is one of those crowds that is very screamy in a fun way. I'm not sure what about any of this that they care about, but it's at least making it more interesting to me. The eliminations pick up including some of the bigger names like Austin and Windham. We're down to a final four of Oz, One Man Gang, Dustin Rhodes and El Gigante. So, I guess the difference between WCW and WWF is that WWF just shoves it down your throat about how tough it will be to get a big man eliminated over the top before watching it happen frequently, and WCW takes it literally. Oz and Gang team up to eliminate Rhodes. Then Gigante hits them both with a clothesline and they both are eliminated. I can't believe that both promotions pushed this guy. This was every battle royal ever but at least it was quick. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

Badstreet vs. Brian Pillman

Badstreet is out with the Fabulous Freebirds. This is Pillman's return from injury here. This show feels like it's at a frantic pace and I am okay with it. Pillman looks great at the start here. He hits a springboard sunset flip for a 2 count and then a big dropkick. Pillman tries to suplex over the rope and into the ring but Badstreet counters and suplexes him to the floor. This of course leads to the announcers having to explain to us how that isn't a disqualification. Badstreet is able to pull Pillman into the ring post and then celebrates it in the ring. That gives Pillman time to launch himself into Badstreet. Badstreet comes right back with a neckbreaker. Badstreet goes up top and Pillman hits him with a dropkick. Pillman hits a suicide dive going about 900 mph and as a result, he hits the guardrail pretty hard on accident as well as nailing Badstreet. Pillman goes for a missile dropkick but Badstreet hits him with a dropkick. The action here is really fast paced for this era and there is just about no selling. Badstreet hits a DDT and gets a 2 count. Pillman goes for a crucifix but Badstreet counters and drops him to the mat. Pillman knocks Badstreet off the second rope and Pillman hits the crossbody for the victory. This is a semi-final match for the Light Heavyweight title apparently. This was balls to the wall action here. I wish they would have done some more selling but everything else was very entertaining. 

Match Rating: ***1/2

It's time for the Top Ten. 

10. Bobby Eaton
9. Z-Man
8. Diamond Studd
7. One Man Gang
6. Dustin Rhodes
5. Steve Austin
4. El Gigante
3. Barry Windham
2. Ron Simmons
1. Sting

Yes, El Gigante. 

US Championship Match
Johnny B. Badd vs. Sting

They show a hilarious clip of Sting opening a box and Abdullah the Butcher being inside of it. Badd hits a series of quick moves, including his signature top rope sunset flip for a 2. We slow things down and Badd works on the wrist of Sting. The flow of this match is that of one that is going to go for another 15 minutes. Jim Ross lets us know that another box has been delivered and of course it is not shown on TV. Badd sees the box and he thinks it's for him. Theodore Long pleads with him to focus on Sting and then Sting sees it. Sting gets an inside cradle and picks up the win in a terrible finish. Out comes Cactus Jack and he attacks Sting. He hits a top rope elbow to the floor. Back in the ring, he hits the double underhook DDT. Out come Sting's pals to make the save. I love how they just refused to show the box. WCW, everybody. Anyway, this match sucked for some reason. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

When we come back, they finally show us Cactus Jack coming out of the box. 

Richard Morton vs. Mike Graham

This is another Light Heavyweight tournament match and the winner of this will face Pillman. This is from the time where they thought it was a good idea for Morton to be a heel singles wrestler. The crowd is absolutely dead for this one. JR lets us know that Sting will be okay. I was really worried. This match is off to an absolutely terrible start. Graham finally does something of interest with a German suplex into a bridge for a 2 count. Graham looks like someone you'd meet at a bowling alley, so no one in their right mind is expecting him to win. This match is the absolute death sentence. It is dead silent and they just keep going. Alexandra York distracts the referee and he misses what would have been a victory for Graham. Morton pushes him into the corner and rolls him up for the victory. Absolutely terrible. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We are back to listen to how strong Bill Kazmaier is. We go to Bischoff in the ring and he brings him out to try to break a record tonight. This has some big time Dino Bravo vibes. Sadly, I cared about Dino more. He bends a bar on his head and then gets attacked by Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. Out comes Rick Steiner to make the save. Another death segment here. 

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Patriots

So this match is not for the United States Tag Team Championships, but they fight again on Saturday and that one is. Since it's the Patriots, I don't really care. At least this match has some spunk after the last two segments. We are informed that Kazmaier refuses to go to the hospital. Please do us a favor and just go. Todd and Chip may be about as dorky of names as they could have possibly come up with. Hayes hits an elbow to the back of the head behind the referee's back and the Freebirds pick up the win. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Paul E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cactus Jack. Paul asks who his business partner is. There's a box on the ramp again and Cactus thinks it is Abdullah. He goes and gives the box a hug and out comes Sting, who tosses him off the ramp to the concrete. They brawl into the commercial break. 

We come back from commercial and the quality of it is pretty poor. They show Ron Simmons getting his number retired at Florida State. We go to a pre-recorded Bobby Bowden interview talking about how great Simmons is. 

Diamond Studd vs. Ron Simmons

Studd comes down to the ring yelling "I'm the bad guy". Studd attacks Simmons upon entering the ring. Simmons quickly battles back until getting raked in the eyes. Studd catches Simmons trying to leapfrog and turns it into a chokeslam. Studd hits a second rope bulldog but is too cocky on his pin attempt. Simmons is able to slide under the ropes and pulls Studd's legs and crotches him into the ring post. Simmons hits the shoulder tackle and picks up the win. That was it? They kept hyping how Diamond Studd was a top 10 contender. Not that this one needed another 10 minutes or anything, but this was actually a good match and so naturally the gave it about 2 minutes. 

Match Rating: **1/4

Dangerously is now in the ring with Simmons. Simmons says he isn't afraid of Lex Luger and his entourage. Out comes Harley Race and Mr. Hughes. Simmons says that he'll face Lex Luger and walks away. 

Terrance Taylor vs. Van Hammer

Hammer is one of my all time least favorite wrestlers. Watching him strutting around in the ring with his guitar confirms it. Taylor attacks him from behind with the computer. Hammer no sells it and hits a body slam. He hits a series of clotheslines and then a suplex. He starts doing a "We Will Rock You" chant and hits one of the worst looking top rope moves you will ever see for the win. Squash.

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Missy Hyatt, who apparently has been having issues with locker room interviews lately. She's with Lex Luger and Ron Simmons knocks on the door. This looks like the quality of the skits my backyard wrestling videos had. They throw him out, so he does a running shoulder tackle to bust open the door. We get chaos and they quickly cut back to the ring. 

WCW Television Championship Match
Z-Man vs. Steve Austin

Zenk is such a dorky face. Austin is with Lady Blossom who looks like a woman you would see in wrestling during this era. Austin's trunks are horrendous and it's easy to see why he ditched the ponytail. We get some slow submission wrestling to start here. With the pace we are starting off at here, it looks like these two saw the Greg Valentine/IRS match from SummerSlam and were hoping to top that. This is not the match I was hoping for here. We finally get a burst and Zenk hits a superkick and a back body drop for a 2. The announcers are criticizing Zenk for not being aggressive enough. Zenk hits a dive on Austin but then misses with the top rope crossbody. Austin hits the Stun Gun but is too slow to get the cover and Zenk gets an inside cradle for 2. Zenk then puts on the sleeper. Austin gets to the rope and we get the most obvious hand off of a foreign object you will ever see. Zenk picks him up for a back suplex and Austin hits him with the object and picks up the victory to retain the title. This stunk.

Match Rating: *

The Ron Simmons hype train continues here as they show him at a local YMCA giving a speech to the youth. They keep telling us that Lex Luger is not quite ready for the press conference. Please just end this show. They show Simmons again and this time he's taking the kids on a bus to wrestle at the Omni. We're still waiting for Luger to show up. Luger is finally out and I have to say that you would never know that both of these guys were only 33 years old. They sign the contract and Luger tries to do the thing where he sounds like he is complimenting him but then offers him a job as his driver and that leads to a brawl. They run Luger into the limo and get him out of there. 

WCW World Tag Team Championship Match
Enforcers vs. Rick Steiner & Bill Kazmaier

On the plus side, we're under 10 minutes left in the show and this hasn't even started yet. Kazmaier is all taped up after the attack tonight. Steiner hits a big slam on Arn early on but Zbyszko breaks it up. Ross brings up that the fans would have loved to have seen Scott Steiner tonight and I'm pretty sure they'd rather see Rick's partner be a cucumber than Kazmaier. Steiner tries to make a comeback but the double teaming slows it down. Kazmaier tags himself in and no one cares. Arn runs in while Kazmaier has Zbyszko up in the air and hits him in the injured ribs. Zbyszko falls on top and we have new champions. This was so rushed and just nothing. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Arn tells us that the best sailboat can't move without wind or something stupid. Zbyszko says it doesn't matter how much muscle you have or how many holds you know. Whatever, just end it. 

This show started off promising and just turned into an absolute chore to get through. None of the stories being told were interesting and focusing so much energy on Kazmaier was a complete waste of time. This show is something that you never need to see outside the good Pillman match.

Overall Rating: 28%