Original Airdate: Saturday, January 20th, 1996
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
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We get a Shawn Michaels intro talking about him coming back tomorrow night and that he's going to win the Royal Rumble again. Lots of cheesy Michaels here. Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect and Jim Ross welcome us here to hype up this awesome card we have here today.
Sid & 1-2-3 Kid vs. Avatar & Aldo Montoya
They are hyping up this new masked tag team that I promise we are going to see so much of. Avatar and Montoya get to work on Kid, which is typical for Kid on Superstars, but I don't understand it as far as building a new heel. Kid finally is able to hit a spin kick but Avatar rolls him up and gets a 2 count. Sid gets in a cheap shot on Montoya even though he ran into the corner for seemingly no reason. Sid tags in and works on Montoya before telling us that no one better touch the Kid. Sid hits a chokeslam and a powerbomb and tags in Kid so that he can come in and make the cover. As far as squashes go, this was a better than usual one.
Match Rating: 3/4*
We go to Dok Hendrix and he runs down the card again. We hear from Goldust and he quotes the film Payton Place and talks about spanking Razor Ramon. We then hear from Ahmed Johnson and he is the definition of LOUD NOISES.
We get a Vader vignette and then Diesel talks about Vader and that it will be Diesel Time at the Royal Rumble.
Ringmaster vs. Scott Taylor
We get a split screen interview from Ringmaster with laughing from Ted, so naturally Perfect likes it. Ringmaster does the old schtick of pulling off the pin attempt before the referee calls 3 because why not? He slaps on the Million Dollar Dream and between the empty seats in the background and the dead silence, you can guess how this went.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We get another Shawn Michaels hype video. I can't help but wonder if he has a shot of winning this Rumble.
Hakushi vs. Jeff Hardy
For some reason we get a promo from Barry Horowitz telling Hakushi that it's every man for themselves in the Royal Rumble, but they are still friends. Hakushi quickly hits the second rope splash for the easy win.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We go to a cemetery with Paul Bearer and Undertaker. Bearer says that the Creatures of the Night are finally getting what they want when Bret Hart will rest in peace.
Body Donnas vs. Chaz Warrington & Glen Ruth
They show Sunny's pool vignette as we start to move towards the Attitude Era. I do have to say, it really is hard to tell that it's Tom Prichard without really looking at him. They hype up the Free For All. Two men will draw blanks and those two will have to fight with the winner getting #30 and the loser getting #1. I actually love that idea with the only exception is that it takes away the surprise of #30. They also hype up how Fresno is sold out for Royal Rumble. I'm as shocked as you are. Zip hits a splash off the top for the win. They looked like a competent tag team here.
Match Rating: 1/4*
They show Razor Ramon destroying Goldust from Raw on Monday.
Yokozuna vs. Phil Apollo
We get a shot of Yoko's butt and then the obligatory talk of how hard it will be to eliminate him in the Rumble. Vince argues that Apollo has a chance here against Yoko with Perfect. We get an interview with Owen Hart and Jim Cornette with Owen telling him that he better be on his side when he wins the Rumble. We are getting quick squashes here today with Yoko hitting the Banzai Splash for the win. We are very close to Yoko becoming face and he got absolutely no reaction here.
Match Rating: 1/4*
It's time to go back to Dok for his final chance to get you to buy the Rumble. We hear from Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who talks about refusing to wrestle recently so he can win the Rumble. He's doing his poor fake English accent here. We then hear from Bret Hart and he isn't afraid of him, he just wants to know who is better.
Isaac Yankem vs. Diesel
How are there still 10 minutes left in this show? Diesel goes right after Yankem because he knows he sucks and the crowd doesn't want to see him. Yankem clotheslines him over the top rope and why is he even getting any offense here? This gimmick was dead before it arrived. Lawler grabs Diesel's leg and that allows Yankem some more offense. Jim Ross talks about the Swat Team and how big they are. One thing's for sure, they will have a huge impact on the company. I know I rag on Yankem/Kane, but in all seriousness, why is this even a fight? Yankem misses with a top rope leg drop. Diesel's comeback doesn't last long and Yankem gets MORE offense. Diesel has had enough and hits the Jackknife for the win. I've seen much worse from Yankem, but still.
Match Rating: 3/4*
Now it's time for more Billionaire Ted. I think it's the same one, but I don't care enough to even check.
We get one last reminder that the Royal Rumble is tomorrow, and they run down the card.
This was a typical episode of Superstars with the extra hype for the show tomorrow. The card is actually fairly intriguing, but the Rumble itself lacks star power. I'm still in shock that the Diesel match got more time than the Sid and Kid match, which was a mistake.
Overall Rating: 38%
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