Off The Grid, Volume 42: Royal Rumble 1989 Review

Sunday, January 15th, 1989
The Summit
Houston, Texas

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Off The Grid, Volume 42:

We get a less enthusiastic Vince McMahon than we do in future Royal Rumbles to kick off the show. We then go to Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, who run down the card. 

6 Man Two Out Of Three Falls Match
Dino Bravo & Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan & Hart Foundation

Duggan and the Harts come out to a huge pop. I miss when people got big ovations for doing standard moves. The faces get about all the offense to start and Bret almost gets a quick pin with a small package, sunset flip and crossbody. My television is always happy when it has Jacques Rougeau on it. They do a spot where they put all three heels in the corner and a big shoulder tackle on all of them. The momentum shifts when Raymond Rougeau pulls down the top rope and Bret takes a spill. Dino hits the side suplex and the Rougeaus hit their finisher for the first fall. They continue to work on Bret and get a few close calls out of it. The crowd starts chanting "U-S-A" and thankfully Ventura calls them out on it. Bret gets about every submission move from this era in the abdominal stretch, bear hug, camel clutch and Boston crab. Bret blocks a monkey flip and turns it into an inverted atomic drop. He tags in Duggan and the place comes unglued. He slingshots Neidhart and Bret in and they get the fall to tie it up. The heels slow things down and this time they single out Duggan. Bravo is an idiot and hits an inverted atomic drop and Duggan lands right in his corner and is able to tag in Bret. Bret tries to roll up Bravo, but he holds on the ropes. The referee is distracted, so Duggan jumps up and hits him in the back with the 2x4 and Bret picks up the victory. This was your usual good match featuring the Harts and Rougeaus in it. 

Match Rating: ***

We go to get some pre-recorded segments with some of the superstars in the Royal Rumble. Ted DiBiase draws his number and isn't happy with it, so he calls in Slick. Slick says his numbers were unbelievable and DiBiase wants to go talk to him about it. Honky Tonk Many draws his number and he too is not too happy about it. The Bushwhackers are happy, but swap with each other anyway. Bad News Brown says it's good news. Jake Roberts just says that he hopes Andre is still there when he's in there. The Rockers wish each other good luck. 

WWF Women's Championship Match
Rockin' Robin vs. Judy Martin

Sherri Martel gets on the mic before the match and she wants a match with whoever wins. She says that she is more woman than both of them put together. This is basically an answer to a trivia question more than it is anything decent. Sherri is on commentary, which makes it slightly more interesting. Martin does one of the worst small packages I've ever seen and Gorilla calls her out for looking lethargic. I am still trying to figure out how she is only 33 years old here. Robin hits a DDT and gets a 2 count. Martin gets a close call with a back slide. Robin fakes out Martin on a crossbody and then hits it when she comes back to put this match out of its misery. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

WrestleMania V is coming on April 2nd, 1989.

Slick and the Twin Towers are with Sean Mooney. Slick denies talking to DiBiase and then they show the footage they just showed us. He tries to cover and then talks about how good the Twin Towers are.

Mean Gene Okerlund is out for the super posedown between Rick Rude and Ultimate Warrior. We get four total categories with the double biceps, best abs, most muscular and medley of poses. To the shock of no one, Warrior wins all of them. Watching this on Peacock is super annoying with Rude's music being so loud that you can hardly hear Jesse and Gorilla. Kudos to the crowd for somehow caring about this absolute waste of time. Rude attacks Warrior with his bar and then uses it to choke him. Warrior eventually chases him off. This was absolutely a complete waste of time.

We go to some of the managers in pre-recorded comments. Mr. Fuji says that Demolition will be the Powers of Pain's first targets. Miss Elizabeth says that she'll be cheering for both Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. Jimmy Hart talks about Double Trouble, Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man. 

Jesse is in the throne to talk about the next match, which is still one of the weirder matches to be on pay-per-view during this era. 

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race comes out and dumps the seat that Haku is on and sends Haku to the floor. This starts the match and Race keeps the attack going. Race does his usual over the top turnbuckle to the floor spot and Haku gets some mild boos. This one has taken a red hot crowd and completely muted it. Race hits the piledriver, but only gets a 2 count. They collide and Race falls to the floor. Haku suplexes him back into the ring for another 2 count. Now Race hits a vertical suplex for a 2 count. This one feels like a bunch of moves with no story. I'm not the biggest fan of Race and haven't really seen a match that has won me over of his. Race goes for a piledriver outside the ring, but Haku counters it with a back body drop. They go outside again and Race pulls off one of the weaker looking piledrivers I've seen. Back in the ring, he hits a reverse neckbreaker for 2. Gorilla and Jesse are ripping on him for not hooking the leg, as per usual. They both go for moves off the turnbuckle and they both miss. This match needs to go home. Haku hits a beautiful superkick and that is all. At least it finished on a high note. If it were 2024, he would have had to hit 25 more of those and then a piledriver off the top rope. This was not a good match.

Match Rating: 3/4*

It's time for more pre-recorded interviews. Brutus Beefcake says his fists are the only tools he needs to make it through the Royal Rumble. Greg Valentine says he can't trust anybody but himself, including Jimmy Hart and Honky Tonk Man. We get it Greg, you don't want to dye your hair. He literally then says the same thing about his two fists. How does that happen? Mr. Fuji is back again and this time with the Powers Of Pain and again talks about Demolition. Big John Studd talks about this being a long time since he stepped in the ring and Heenan will not be in his corner. Mr. Perfect says that 1989 will be the year of perfection. Randy Savage gives us "Freak out, freak out". 

We go to Mean Gene with Ted DiBiase and Virgil. DiBiase is a lot happier now and says when you're as wealthy as he is, you can be as lucky as you want to be. 

Sean Mooney is with Bobby Heenan, Andre The Giant and the Brainbusters. Tully seems to be okay with Andre winning, but Arn seems to have other ideas.

Mean Gene is now with Hulk Hogan and he says that it will be the resurrection of Hulkamania tonight. 

Royal Rumble

Howard Finkel announces the rules and then introduces our first two competitors. In one of the cooler moments, #1 is Ax and #2 is Smash. They go right at it, as Jesse lets us know that money will make people do anything. The crowd doesn't know how to react to hit, however. As they are still battling, #3 is Andre The Giant. The crowd isn't doing the traditional countdown here. Combo that with the lack of theme music and this is already just not as fun. They go after Andre right away and give us a preview of 14 months from now at WrestleMania VI. #4 is out and it's Mr. Perfect. We have our first elimination when Andre takes out Smash. #5 is none other than Ronnie Garvin. He hits Andre once and he's tied up in the ropes. You'd think Andre would find a way to not do that this far into his career. The focus is obviously on trying to get Andre out of the match, as you would expect here. #6 is Greg Valentine. Andre continues to fight out of the multi-man attempts to tip him over the top. Andre clotheslines Garvin over the top. #7 is Jake Roberts and he runs right to Andre. He gets the biggest pop of the match thus far. Valentine tries to eliminate Andre while he's working on Roberts, but is unsuccessful. #8 is the recently shaved Ron Bass. While he's on his way, Andre dumps Jake to the floor. Bass from afar kind of looks like Rusev. #9 is Shawn Michaels. He'll never amount to anything. Mr. Perfect eliminates Ax, which Gorilla was saying he didn't have enough mass earlier on to do that. Shawn dropkicks Perfect and almost eliminates him. I love how Andre has just no sold everything Valentine has done to him. #10 is Butch and is my pick to win the match. Out comes Jake Roberts again and throws in Damien into the ring. Andre is petrified and eliminates himself. I take back the countdown thing, as the crowd has been doing it more and more. #11 is Honky Tonk Man who comes out to a decent amount of boos, but a far cry from the nuclear heat he used to get. #12 is Working The Network favorite Tito Santana. I will say the action is a little better than I remember it being in this one. #13 is Bad News Brown, who surprisingly jogs down to the ring. If anyone was going to get 13, Brown makes the most sense. Butch and Tito are able to eliminate Honky surprisingly early. #14 is Marty Jannetty and every female in the crowd is loving it. We have both Rockers in there now and they hit a double dropkick to eliminate Bass. Tito is selling a leg injury, but hits a flying forearm on Valentine. #15 is the Macho Man and runs in there and attacks Bad News to a huge pop. #16 is Arn Anderson and while he's on his way, Valentine is dumped out by Savage. Michaels is eliminated as well by Savage and Arn. Tully is in there at #17 as they continue the tag team trope here. Only poor Butch hasn't had his partner in there yet. Marty gets eliminated by Tully after trying his best to hold on by his toes on the top rope. Tully almost eliminates himself trying to get him out. Out comes Hulk Hogan at #18 and he instantly eliminates Perfect. Butch finally gets his pal, Luke at #19. It lasts about 30 seconds as Butch is eliminated. Hogan has Tully up over his head, but instead of eliminating him, he drops him throat first on the top rope. Makes sense. #20 is out and it's Koko B. Ware. Koko is one of the few in the match who doesn't end up having a spot on the WrestleMania V card. Hogan pretty quickly dumps Koko out of there. Then Hogan takes care of Luke. #21 is Warlord and while he's on his way, Hogan eliminates both Brainbusters because of course he does. Warlord gets the famous quick elimination as he gets in and Hogan clotheslines him. Hogan then goes over to Bad News and Savage and dumps both of them. Savage comes in and is in Hogan's face. He gives him a shove and out comes Miss Elizabeth to play peacemaker. They eventually shake hands and the crowd loves it. Out comes #22 and it's Big Boss Man. They have a nice battle and then out comes #23, Akeem. I think everyone probably saw this one coming. The double team is just too much and the Towers eliminate Hogan. In typical Hogan fashion, he gets to be a sore loser and pulls Boss Man out. Out comes Robin, I mean Brutus Beefcake at #24. Hogan pulls Boss Man out again and I guess this time he is eliminated. Gorilla tries to defend it, but it makes no sense. They battle all the way to the back and it's just Akeem and Beefcake in the ring. Hogan was such a turd. Speaking of turds, here is Red Rooster at #25. He teams up with Beefcake to try to get rid of Akeem. Here comes #26, Barbarian. Instead of helping dump Akeem out, he saves him and then tries to do it himself. Even Jesse acknowledges how dumb that is. It's now time for Big John Studd at #27. The action has definitely become less interesting, which is not what you want at the end of the match. Hercules is #28 and Rick Martel is #29. Martel is trying to inject some life, but there are some real lugs in there right now. We finally get to #30 and it's obviously Ted DiBiase. The only thing I don't get is why was he so mad about his spot if he traded with Boss Man or Akeem? Rooster is eliminated and no one cares. Gorilla is livid about Virgil being able to stay out there. Barbarian is able to eliminate both Beefcake and Herc at the same time. Martel is able to get rid of Barbarian and we are down to Akeem, Martel, DiBiase and Studd. Akeem catches Martel and dumps him over. Akeem looked tired about 10 minutes ago, so I'm surprised he has lasted this long. Studd is able to dump him out and we are down to the finals. Studd hits a double underhook suplex, which is kind of surprising. Studd eliminates DiBiase and gets a better pop than I expected. In comes Virgil and Studd takes care of him without any problem. He tosses him over the top and he stands tall in the ring. You can't convince me that this was the right choice even without hindsight. DiBiase was the guy that should have won. The match itself was better than I had remembered. They hadn't picked up on some of the clever touches that make the match even more fun and there were no stakes other than the supposed purse money. 

Match Rating: **3/4

This is never going to make the top of most people's favorite Royal Rumble shows. The three middle matches/posedown were mostly terrible and really hurt the flow of the show. The opener was good late 80s style wrestling and the Rumble wasn't bad. It's just hard to call this a good show.

Overall Rating: 47%

NXT 6-3-15 Review

Original Airdate: Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
Full Sail University
Winter Park, Florida

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We get a recap of Kevin Owens defeating John Cena at No Way Out. Owens definitely had one of the better first years in WWE history. 

Tyler Breeze vs. Adam Rose

We get a dueling "We want Kruger"/"No we don't" chant to start things off if you're wondering where Adam Rose is in his career right now. We get a slower mat based start until Breeze is able to hit a reverse elbow. Breeze then hits a springboard dropkick to knock Rose off the apron. He throws him back in the ring, but then ends up on the floor after a back body drop over the top rope and into a commercial break. We come back to Rose with a sleeper hold on. There have been no shenanigans from Rose here so far. I'm also not really sure why Breeze is having such a hard time with Rose here, but I guess Rose is going to be more of a threat on NXT? Breeze hits a hurricanrana, but then runs into a knee in the corner. Rose hits a spinebuster for a 2 count and then puts on the Boston Crab. Breeze is able to crawl to the bottom rope to break the hold. I really didn't expect this match to go on this long. Rose is able to hit the Beauty Shot and finally gets the win here. The pace was pretty slow here, with Breeze almost wrestling like a babyface here. 

Match Rating: *3/4

Solomon Crowe is interviewed backstage and says that Kevin Owens gave him a beating. He says that when he's back, he'll be better than ever. I bet he won't be. 

They show Dana Brooke at the Arnold Classic Brazil 2015. 

Greg Hamilton brings out Total Divas star Eva Marie. She gets booed and she clearly has no idea how to act in front of a live crowd. She says she was at NXT because of all the buzzing about the NXT women. She hopes to get the chance to compete in NXT. This was thrilling. 

William Regal says that on July 4th on the WWE Network, Kevin Owens will take on Finn Balor for the NXT Championship. This was the Beast In The East special. I guess I will have to watch that match as a special bonus or something.

Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss

Carmella unleashes on Bliss to start. Both competitors are still a little rough around the edges. We get pretty standard action here that all just leads to Bliss to roll Carmella up and use the middle rope to steal the victory. Both need some seasoning still. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

Rhyno is interviewed backstage to talk about his match with Finn Balor tonight. He said it's time for him to get back to getting on top of NXT. 

Kevin Owens will take on John Cena in a rematch at Money In The Bank. 

We get a Sami Zayn injury/surgery update. The doctor feels good about how the surgery went. 

Vaudevillains vs. Jason Jordan & Marcus Louis

The Vaudevillains get a nice pop for their return here. Marcus Louis also hasn't been on TV in awhile. I guess this goes along with the Chad Gable storyline. Louis is still shaved and doing his Kane impression. Once Jordan is tagged in, they are able to single out Aiden English and put on some submission holds. Then basically out of nowhere, Gotch is tagged in, gains control and they hit Whirling Dervish for the victory. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

We get a Sasha Banks promo video.

We get a pre-taped interview with Finn Balor talking about his match with Kevin Owens in Japan. He talks about his history there, but he's not overlooking Owens. 

Rhyno vs. Finn Balor

It's kind of funny to me that Rhyno wears a NXT shirt as his ring attire. We get a back and forth start and it goes into a commercial break with Balor hitting a senton over the top rope. When we come back, Rhyno is back in control. Rhyno hits a spinebuster and gets a 2 count. Balor battles back and hits a Sling Blade. He follows it up with the running dropkick, but misses with the Coup de Grace. Rhyno goes for the Gore, but misses and Balor rolls him up for the victory. Rhyno looked probably the best he has here, but it helps working with Balor rather than Baron Corbin.

Match Rating: **1/4

After the match, Balor goes up on the top of the ramp to celebrate and Rhyno comes out of nowhere to hit a Gore. Balor kind of telegraphed it a little bit, but it was still a good looking spot. 

This wasn't a great show, but it was a little bit of an improvement over the past few weeks. With Samoa Joe in the mix, I expect the show to get back to where it was a few months ago.

Overall Rating: 50%

Monday Night Raw 6-12-95 Review

Monday, June 12th, 1995
Struthers, Ohio
Struthers Auditorium

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We get a lengthy Lex Luger/Yokozuna hype video.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Duane Gill

We get a special treat with Diesel joining us on the phone. He says he will be back for King Of The Ring, but he won't be 100%. Meanwhile, Bam Bam catches Gill in midair and then hits a suplex. Vince keeps referring to Diesel as "Big D" like he's your friend's dad trying to be cool with a nickname. Bam Bam hits a splash and picks up the easy victory.

Match Rating: 1/4*

We go to Waylon Mercy talking about him enjoying life. He talks about the worm crawling on his arm and he doesn't like that. He also doesn't like wrestlers touching him. He's going to do to them what he does to this worm, which is squash it.

The Smoking Gunns are playing mad caps and you can buy the WWF set. Only $25! If you order it, you get a new shirt and Vince thinks it looks great on Barry. I don't remember pogs being called mad caps. 

Kama vs. David Haskins

They show the Creatures Of The Night again. Kama hits a big clothesline. He hits a belly to belly suplex and that is all. He once again goes over to the Creatures Of The Night and gets in their faces. They again no sell all of it. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's time for the King Of The Ring Report. We hear from the Million Dollar Team about their big tag team match. We then go back to Jerry Lawler holding a fake foot full of gross stuff on it and he says his foot will look worse than that. Todd then runs through the tournament bracket. 

The WWF World Tour de Force is coming to you. 

It's time for Man Mountain Rock to jam into the commercial break.

Man Mountain Rock vs. Bob Cook

Bob Cook's hair is top notch here. Rock puts on the Whammy Bar and that's all. That was pretty close to 60 seconds, which is only about 55 seconds longer than you'd prefer Rock's matches to be.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Stephanie Wiand updates us on the WWF Hall Of Fame and talks about Fabulous Moolah and Pedro Morales being inducted. The Grand Wizard and George Steele will also be inducted. 

Bob Backlund is shown backstage and he knocks over Man Mountain Rock's equipment before going on a yelling rant about how evil the guitar is. 

Tekno Team 2000 vs. John Crystal & Mike Khoury

Tekno Team was 5 years ahead of their time. Khoury and Crystal are wearing jorts that are rolled up at the bottom. TT2K does a double leapfrog and then hip toss each other onto Crystal. They hit a double spin kick before hitting a top rope reverse crossbody for the victory. I know I don't have to say this, but they aren't good. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Man Mountain Rock is backstage all upset with his broken guitar. He says it's personal now. 

Next week on Raw, it's Sid and Tatanka against the Headshrinkers. Apparently they are still a team.

King Of The Ring Qualifying Match
Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Vince lets us know that Razor Ramon hurt his ribs and his status is in question. Yoko gets a big slam in but Luger avoids the elbow drop. Vince lets us know that Yokozuna was weighed recently at 641 pounds. It's crazy that this match headlined SummerSlam and co-headlined WrestleMania and now it's headlining a high school gym. The crowd to their credit is very into it. We get some stalling so that Yoko can catch his breath. Yoko misses with a leg drop, but a distraction from Fuji allows for Yokozuna to hit a series of right hands. We get a commercial break and when we come back, Luger is battling out of a nerve hold. Yoko knocks him down with a clothesline. He misses with a splash in the corner and Luger is trying to knock the big man down. He hits a couple of second rope ax handles before a second rope clothesline finally does the trick. Mr. Fuji goes after the guy holding the American flag for Lex and slaps him. This causes Lex to go after Fuji. Cornette tries to attack him, but Luger knocks him down. He gives the flag back to Scott and Yoko attacks him successfully here. He throws him into the ring post and rolls back into the ring to win by countout and advance to the King Of The Ring tournament. He will face Razor Ramon in the opening round. They worked pretty hard here and the crowd was in it. The ending wasn't very good, but it is what it is.

Match Rating: *1/2

Next week Undertaker will be in action, as will Shawn Michaels. They then show Jerry Lawler's training footage. He's in his royal stable and he's walking around his stall with his bare feet. They then show the Aldo Montoya incident from Superstars. 

This was a peppy enough episode to make it better than Superstars this weekend. The feature match was decent enough and the squashes were pretty short. There still remains to not be much intrigue around the King Of The Ring.

Overall Rating: 41%

Superstars 6-10-95 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, June 10th, 1995
O'Neill Center
Danbury, Connecticut

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Vince McMahon and Dok Hendrix are here to kick off the show. They hype up the Kiss My Foot Match along with Jerry Lawler vs. Aldo Montoya and a special interview with Diesel.

Tatanka & Sid vs. Cory Student & John Crystal

I feel like it's been awhile since we've seen Tatanka wrestle. We are getting pretty close to the end of his run, which is kind of interesting since he's in a headlining match on a big 5 show. The crowd starts chanting "Diesel" when Sid is tagged in. So obviously revisionist history is that Diesel was a terrible champ and a big part of ratings dropping and allowing WCW to come in and compete. But if you go back and watch the shows, the people that were still interested in wrestling did in fact really like him. Back to the match, this one is going on way too long. Tatanka hits the End Of The Trail after a big boot from Sid and that's all. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show the clips of the chokeslam and powerbomb that hurt Diesel's elbow. Vince interviews him while Sid's music is playing and Diesel shows his wounds from the elbow surgery. They talk about how the surgery was supposed to be a scope, but they had to cut him open. He says there's no question that he'll be ready for King Of The Ring. 

They hype up the WWF blimp and give us the schedule.

Hakushi vs. David Haskins

Shinja distracts Haskins and this allows him to attack him from behind. Why wouldn't they have Hakushi in the tournament instead of Roadie? He hits the reverse second rope splash and a dropkick. Haskins rolls out of the ring and Hakushi hits a dive over the top. He rolls in the ring and wins the match by countout. Who does he think he is? The Berzerker?

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show us highlights of the time limit draw between British Bulldog and Owen Hart. 

It's time for the King Of The Ring Report. Todd runs down the tournament brackets and that Lex Luger will face Yokozuna for the last spot. We go to Jim Cornette, Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji. Cornette says Yoko plans to be the King. 

Razor Ramon vs. Bill Payne

Razor gives an interview and says he doesn't care who wins between Luger and Yokozuna. Meanwhile, he hits the fall away slam on Payne. He hits the second rope back suplex and the Razor's Edge to finish off Bill. This was the usual from Razor. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Bob Backlund is going to make everyone listen to classical music.

Kama vs. Buck Quartermain

This one is quick, thankfully. He slaps on the arm bar pretty quickly and that's all. We get introduced to the Creatures Of The Night in the audience. Kama goes over and rips up their black wreath and they just sit there with no reaction. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We get a Hall Of Fame update with Stephanie Wiand. She talks about The Grand Wizard being inducted. 

Smoking Gunns vs. Duane Gill & Mike Sharpe

We get a great legacy team here with Sharpe and Gill. Sharpe looks to be about 50 pounds heavier than he used to be. He gets dropkicked by Billy and tied up in the top two ropes. Billy takes advantage until he goes for a crossbody. Sharpe ducks it and Billy flies to the floor. Gill and Sharpe attack him until Bart makes the save. They throw Sharpe back in the ring and hit the Sidewinder for the victory. They were actually having a nice match until the abrupt ending.

Match Rating: 1/2*

We go to Waylon Mercy again. He talks about rocks and water.

Next week it will be Bret Hart vs. Henry Godwinn. Yes, please. 

Jerry Lawler vs. Aldo Montoya

Lawler attacks Montoya on the way into the ring and hits a back body drop. He goes for another one and this time Montoya hits him with a right hand. Lawler tries to escape outside the ring and ends up accidentally hitting his right hand on the ring post when Montoya ducks. Back in the ring, Montoya goes for a splash, but Lawler gets the knees up. Lawler's mullet here is really something. Montoya tries to fight back and now he hits a back body drop. He doesn't learn from Lawler though and when he goes for the second one, Lawler hits the piledriver for the win. If they were hoping to make Lawler look like a threat to Bret Hart, they definitely failed here. After the match, Lawler takes off his boot and tells Montoya to kiss his foot. He shoves his face in his foot and then we cut back to Todd.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Todd says we don't have much time, but he'll squeeze as much as he can in here. He hypes up the Kiss My Foot match. Bret says that Stu told him he'd have his good days and his bad days. In Your House was one of his worst days. 

They show Montoya kissing Lawler's foot again and remind us of Godwinn vs. Bret.

The feature match here wasn't very good and the rest of the storylines just aren't that interesting right now. You can just feel that King Of The Ring isn't going to be good as you go through the weekly TV of the time. 

Overall Rating: 32%

SmackDown 3-16-07 Review

Original Airdate: Friday, March 16th, 2007
Sovereign Bank Arena
Trenton, New Jersey

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World Heavyweight Champion Batista is here to kick off the show. He is the guest on the second episode of MizTV. Miz mocks Batista for calling himself unstoppable and thinks Undertaker could take him. The lights go out and Batista gets ready. Miz starts laughing and said he got him. Batista shakes his hand, kicks him in the gut and gives him the Batista Bomb. 

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

We get a pretty standard TV start here and we head into a commercial break with Hardy tackling Kennedy through the ropes and to the floor. Kennedy is able to capitalize on a Hardy mistake and then uses the ring post on Hardy's knee. Kennedy gets Hardy in the tree of woe and works on the knee some more. Kennedy then hits the back suplex off the second rope for a 2 count. Kennedy goes for the Kenton Bomb and misses, giving Hardy an opening. Hardy hits the Side Effect, but Kennedy kicks out at 2. Kennedy gets Hardy up on his shoulders, but Hardy counters and hits the Twist Of Fate and picks up the surprising victory. Hardy has been jobbing for awhile as a singles outside of his feud with Joey Mercury, so he could use a big victory going into WrestleMania. This was a solid match and a good way to kick off the show. 

Match Rating: ***

Mr. Kennedy is interviewed backstage and he says that he is still going to win the Money In The Bank match and have a title match any time, any place. 

MVP vs. El Grande Latte

MVP announces his opponent, who is making a rare appearance here from Honduras. MVP attacks him right away and then he puts him in the tree of woe. Him and Kennedy apparently are still on the same page there. He hits the Playmaker and that's all for the Honduran champ. This fit his gimmick and at least adds some flavor to his match at WrestleMania. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

MVP gets on the mic after the match and he says that it has been 7 long days since he asked Teddy Long for a title match against Chris Benoit. He thinks it's because Benoit wants nothing to do with him. Teddy is out and tells MVP to be careful for what you wish for. He brings out MVP's WrestleMania opponent and they start brawling. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but MVP is able to block it. He rolls out of the ring and heads to the back. 

Ashley, Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. Melina & MNM

London and Kendrick have seemingly just become less and less important as their title reign continues to grow. Mercury grabs Nitro by his leg and pulls him out of the ring, which proves to be a stupid idea as the champs both hit dives on them after. MNM does gain control and they get a pretty good amount of time on their heat segment. Ashley gets knocked off the apron and appears to have hurt her knee. London gets the hot tag and he hits a series of moves on both opponents. He hits the dropsault, but Melina breaks up the count. Ashley is up and distracts the ref and that allows Melina to hit a low blow. MNM hits the Snapshot and gains the victory. Ashley immediately starts attacking Melina and the tag teams pull the women apart. The match was the usual entertaining match that you would expect even if the women hardly did anything.

Match Rating: **1/2

They show the Ernie Ladd tribute. 

Maryse welcomes us back to SmackDown.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell aren't happy about having to face Undertaker tonight. Finlay comes in looking for Hornswoggle. Booker asks Finlay for some pointers on facing Taker and he says "Run!". Booker leaves and Sharmell hears some noises. She opens a door and he scares her and wishes her a happy St. Patrick's Day. Sharmell runs away and he drinks some beer.

We get a bunch of battle of the billionaires crap.

Daivari vs. Kane

Kane attacks Daivari quickly and uses moves like punching his own hand. They go outside and Kane uses the steel steps. He goes under the ring and brings out the stupid hook and wraps it around Daivari's neck. He then drags him up the entrance ramp. We go to commercial break and when we come back, they are in the locker room area. He drags him in the boiler room and we go back to Michael Cole and JBL. This was stupid and no one cares.

Match Rating: 1/4*

They show the Mr. Fuji Hall Of Fame vignette.

Batista is out here to join the announce team for our main event.

King Booker vs. Undertaker

These two never did much for me as a pairing. Taker dominates the entire beginning of the match and they are pushing me to my limit for bedtime. After a chokeslam attempt, Booker escapes and then misses with the scissor kick. Taker levels him with a clothesline, but then Booker hits a running cake. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but then out comes Finlay and he attacks him with the shillelagh. That obviously makes for a DQ ending. They keep attacking Taker outside the ring, just a few feet from Batista. Taker fights back and tosses Finlay into Batista. Taker hits a chokeslam on Booker and heads to the back. For these two, this was pretty good even if I had to rewind because I fell asleep. As Taker's music is playing, Batista runs in the ring and he's furious. Taker looks back and continues his walk to the back.

Match Rating: **

SmackDown continues to mostly dominate Raw by seemingly always giving us more wrestling and less stupidity. This wasn't perfect, but it was a good show.

Overall Rating: 60%

ECW 3-13-07 Review

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
Sovereign Bank Arena
Trenton, New Jersey

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2

This episode is also dedicated to the memory of Ernie Ladd.

Randy Orton is angry and confronts Edge. Edge assures him that he'll have his back tonight and that he can trust him.

Extreme Battle Royal

It's the New Breed vs. the ECW Originals here. Sandman is quickly eliminated by Matt Striker because of course he is. Rob Van Dam and Sabut eliminate Marcus Cor Von for some reason. He should have been the winner of this in my opinion. Kevin Thorn catches Sabu and then shoves him out of the ring. RVD struggles to get Thorn over, so he launches himself over and they are both eliminated. That leads Tommy Dreamer, Elijah Burke and Matt Striker. I'm not really sure why they saw Striker as a guy with top potential. He charges at Dreamer, but Dreamer sends him over the top. After a near elimination, Dreamer is able to send Burke over the top and the Originals celebrate with him in the ring. This was a battle royal.

Match Rating: 1/2*

Out comes Mick Foley with the Originals still in the ring. I'm not really sure for what he's going for here, but he basically says that he will be at WrestleMania and he will be chanting "E-C-W". This was kind of weird. 

Extreme Exposé is here and then interrupted by Snitsky, They bail and Snitsky's two opponents are in the ring.

Sitsky vs. Danny Jaxx & Michael Deek

He squashes these two ham and eggers as quickly as you'd hope. I'm not really sure how they thought people were going to believe that this guy wasn't a jobber.

Match Rating: 1/4*

Elijah Burke approaches CM Punk again about joining the New Breed. He tells him he has a better chance at WrestleMania in his corner and gives him a New Breed shirt.

We get more celebrities chiming in on whose hair should get shaved. 

We get "highlights" of the god awful contract signing from Raw.

Bobby Lashley vs. Randy Orton

It looks like these two are going to get some time. Orton chop blocks Lashley and goes after the leg. They tease dissention between Orton and Edge as we go into an early commercial break. When we come back, Orton has Lashley in a Boston crab. Edge gets involved and it leads to him getting ejected. Orton isn't happy about it, but Edge smirks on his way back to the locker room. When we come back, Lashley is on the floor. During the commercial, the show Lashley hitting a suplex on the floor and a Spear in the ring. Orton hit a dropkick to knock Lashley off the apron and here we are. There was more action in that break than we have seen in this entire match. Orton starts stomping on Lashley on the steps, which seems like it should be more devastating than it is. Orton then hits a suplex and throws him back in the ring. The crowd starts chanting "Boring" and I can't really argue that. Orton charges at Lashley, but he moves and Orton hits his shoulder on the ring post. Lashley hits a few moves and then the running powerslam for the victory. This was extremely dull. 

Match Rating: *1/4

As soon as the match is over, Vince's music hits. He stares down Lashley and we go off the air. 

This should have been a good episode, but instead we had Orton working at a snail's pace and honestly it did nothing for either guy. The battle royal didn't do much for me either. Thumbs down here.

Overall Rating: 31%

Monday Night Raw 3-12-07 Review

Monday, March 12th, 2007 
Verizon Center
Washington, D.C.

Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22

This episode is in memory of the legendary Ernie Ladd.

After a recap of last week, John Cena is out to kick off the show. He's been asking himself if he trusts Shawn Michaels. He calls out Shawn and he realizes that the only reason that Shawn has his back is because of the WWE Championship. Shawn agrees, but he also says that he has kept his word. Jonathan Coachman is out and says that there are a number of tag teams that want a shot at their gold. They will have to defend their titles three times tonight, that is if they make it that far. If they make it to the third match, it will be in a cage. 

We see a limo arriving and it's human garbage. 

Elimination Triple Threat Money In The Bank Qualifying Match
Ric Flair vs. Carlito vs. Randy Orton

This is for the last spot in the Money In The Bank match. Flair and Carlito team up on Orton to start off. It doesn't last long and eventually Carlito hits the Back Cracker on Flair. Orton hits the RKO and Flair is eliminated from the match. We get a commercial break right after the fall. Remember when Orton and Carlito had that epic feud last fall? Yeah, me either. Carlito hits a hurricanrana and fires up. This is the most intensity I have seen him show in awhile, but it also ends up being a little on the sloppy side. Carlito scores himself a handful of 2 counts and then gets crotched on the top rope. He walks himself off and then Orton hits one of the more anticlimatic RKOs that I can remember for the victory. This was pretty blah action overall.

Match Rating: *1/4

Oh boy, another video package of the Battle Of The Billionaires. 

Just when you thought this show couldn't get any hotter, it's time for a Master Lock Challenge. No one comes out. He says since no one volunteered, how about we try Lilian Garcia. Out comes Super Crazy to no reaction and he hits a dropkick that sends Masters face into the chair. Masters is able to slap on the Master Lock and that's all. I think it's time for them to try something new with Masters. I'm shocked he was even still getting TV time at this point. 

Another limo is rolling in and it's the other idiot. He tells Trump's driver to tell him that his is bigger than Trumps.

We finally get something good here with an Ernie Ladd tribute.

Edge and Orton are arguing over both being in the Money In The Bank match. Edge brags about all the ladder matches he's been in and that he's undefeated at WrestleMania. Orton says the only reason that's true is because he has never had to face him. 

We are told to point our direction to the Titan Tron for a PSA. It's the Rock and he gets a big pop. He says that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled up monkey penis and says that Lashley will win the match at WrestleMania. 

John Cena is heading to the ring. 

World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team

Ah, yes. I'm sure the challengers will all come out of this looking really good. They're working at a frenetic pace, so you know this will be short. Michaels is able to hit a DDT on Haas and then clotheslines Shelton over the top. Cena tags himself into the match and puts on the STFU for the win.

Match Rating: 1/2*

World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch

Remember them? They hit the double team big boot early on and I assure you that there is absolutely a 0% chance that we see a cage match after this. They dominate for 45 seconds or so until Michaels is able to make the tag to Cena. He hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle on Murdoch and then puts him up for the FU. Michaels comes in and hits Sweet Chin Music on Murdoch as he is on Cena's shoulders. Cena drops him to the mat and pins him, while being in shock that he would do that to him just about 3 minutes after him tagging himself into the match. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Steel Cage Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. MNM

The cage is coming down as we go to commercial break. When we come back, the match is in progress, meaning MNM doesn't even get an entrance. MNM is dominating the match until Nitro misses with a corkscrew moonsault off the second rope. He is able to tag in Mercury, but Michaels hits him with a clothesline. He makes the tag to Cena and he steamrolls both opponents. They start chucking MNM into the cage and Mercury is busted open. Cena goes for the FU, but then Michaels is about to hit Sweet Chin Music, so Cena drops him instead. Michaels tunes up the band and hits Sweet Chin Music. Cena hits the FU and that's all. I'm not going to pretend like I have ever successfully been a wrestling promoter in my lifetime, but the way they job out the tag team division time and time again is probably why no one cares about it. 

Match Rating: 3/4*

After the match, the cage rises back up and the other teams come in and attack him. Cena hits Haas with a steel chair and then heads to the back. They try to tease that Cena was going to hit Michaels, but he didn't really sell it too much. Michaels heads to the back while the others are left for dead.

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge Great Khali

Edge comes out and says that he won't perform in a city that has a team named the Washington Redskins. He says his friend Great Khali will be taking his spot. They wrestle for about 20 seconds and out comes Kane just in case this episode couldn't get any worse. Even better, he has the stupid hook from his stupid movie. Khali and Edge both leave, so Kane uses the hook to flip over the announce table. 

Match Rating: No Rating

Mr. Fuji joins the Hall Of Fame class of 2007. 

Mick Foley is with Todd Grisham to hype up his book. He says he'll be on ECW tomorrow and in comes Ashley. She trades her Playboy for his book. It leads to Ashley forcing Mick to look at the pictures and Ron Simmons to do what he does. 

Vince asks his hairdresser who has the better hair until Coachman comes in and tells him that he does. How are there still 30 minutes left in this show? 

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

This is a non-title match for those of you who are concerned about that sort of thing. They should just let these two finish out the show here and wrestle a 20+ minute match. Torrie tries a couple of quick falls before Melina snaps her neck on the top rope. Melina blocks a suplex attempt and turns it into a roll up to pick up the win with some tight pulling. After the match, she keeps attacking Torrie and Mickie James comes out. Victoria is then out and we have a mini brawl. Melina is able to come out standing and then Ashley runs out. She throws her in the ring and hits a Spear. She tosses Melina out of the ring and stands tall. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Edge is with Vince and he proposes that Lashley faces Randy Orton on ECW. He says that he'll be in Orton's corner supporting him 100%. He then says that if for some reason Orton doesn't show up, he'll be thrown out of the Money In The Bank match. Vince agrees to all of this.

Next week it will be WrestleMania Reversal Night. JBL will take on Shawn Michaels and John Cena will take on Chris Benoit. JBL wrestled in between his comeback? 

Vince is out and almost wipes out when walking under the ropes. He brings out Umaga and rambles on. Out comes Trump with Candice Michelle and Maria. I don't like to hate watch things, but I feel like I am doing that now. Only a few more weeks of this trash. He brings out Lashley and then they sign the contract. Trump is so terrible in this role, much like everything he does. Out comes Steve Austin to try and save this horrific segment. He goes after Trump verbally and Trump is so terrible that he can't even keep a straight face. He then goes to Vince and asks him what his problem is with bald people. Lashley then stares him down. Austin grabs him by the tie and he tells him that there will be a winner and a loser. Someone is getting a haircut and they will be bald. Austin heads to the back, then Vince says that what Austin was trying to say is that he is going to shave Trump's head bald. He and Umaga are starting to head to the back and then Trump gets on the mic. He brings up the pictures Vince has been doing with his face and now he did one for Vince. Words can't describe how bad Trump is. Trump wants a piece of Vince and sends Lashley to the back. Trump shoves Vince over the table and that's all. 

This was an absolute dumpster fire of an episode of Raw. There wasn't one thing on this show that I thought was good. There are usually a few bright spots, but this one sucked the life out of me.

Overall Rating: 19%