Monday, March 12th, 2007
Verizon Center
Washington, D.C.
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22
This episode is in memory of the legendary Ernie Ladd.
After a recap of last week, John Cena is out to kick off the show. He's been asking himself if he trusts Shawn Michaels. He calls out Shawn and he realizes that the only reason that Shawn has his back is because of the WWE Championship. Shawn agrees, but he also says that he has kept his word. Jonathan Coachman is out and says that there are a number of tag teams that want a shot at their gold. They will have to defend their titles three times tonight, that is if they make it that far. If they make it to the third match, it will be in a cage.
We see a limo arriving and it's human garbage.
Elimination Triple Threat Money In The Bank Qualifying Match
Ric Flair vs. Carlito vs. Randy Orton
This is for the last spot in the Money In The Bank match. Flair and Carlito team up on Orton to start off. It doesn't last long and eventually Carlito hits the Back Cracker on Flair. Orton hits the RKO and Flair is eliminated from the match. We get a commercial break right after the fall. Remember when Orton and Carlito had that epic feud last fall? Yeah, me either. Carlito hits a hurricanrana and fires up. This is the most intensity I have seen him show in awhile, but it also ends up being a little on the sloppy side. Carlito scores himself a handful of 2 counts and then gets crotched on the top rope. He walks himself off and then Orton hits one of the more anticlimatic RKOs that I can remember for the victory. This was pretty blah action overall.
Match Rating: *1/4
Oh boy, another video package of the Battle Of The Billionaires.
Just when you thought this show couldn't get any hotter, it's time for a Master Lock Challenge. No one comes out. He says since no one volunteered, how about we try Lilian Garcia. Out comes Super Crazy to no reaction and he hits a dropkick that sends Masters face into the chair. Masters is able to slap on the Master Lock and that's all. I think it's time for them to try something new with Masters. I'm shocked he was even still getting TV time at this point.
Another limo is rolling in and it's the other idiot. He tells Trump's driver to tell him that his is bigger than Trumps.
We finally get something good here with an Ernie Ladd tribute.
Edge and Orton are arguing over both being in the Money In The Bank match. Edge brags about all the ladder matches he's been in and that he's undefeated at WrestleMania. Orton says the only reason that's true is because he has never had to face him.
We are told to point our direction to the Titan Tron for a PSA. It's the Rock and he gets a big pop. He says that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled up monkey penis and says that Lashley will win the match at WrestleMania.
John Cena is heading to the ring.
World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team
Ah, yes. I'm sure the challengers will all come out of this looking really good. They're working at a frenetic pace, so you know this will be short. Michaels is able to hit a DDT on Haas and then clotheslines Shelton over the top. Cena tags himself into the match and puts on the STFU for the win.
Match Rating: 1/2*
World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Remember them? They hit the double team big boot early on and I assure you that there is absolutely a 0% chance that we see a cage match after this. They dominate for 45 seconds or so until Michaels is able to make the tag to Cena. He hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle on Murdoch and then puts him up for the FU. Michaels comes in and hits Sweet Chin Music on Murdoch as he is on Cena's shoulders. Cena drops him to the mat and pins him, while being in shock that he would do that to him just about 3 minutes after him tagging himself into the match.
Match Rating: 1/2*
World Tag Team Championship Gauntlet Steel Cage Match
John Cena & Shawn Michaels vs. MNM
The cage is coming down as we go to commercial break. When we come back, the match is in progress, meaning MNM doesn't even get an entrance. MNM is dominating the match until Nitro misses with a corkscrew moonsault off the second rope. He is able to tag in Mercury, but Michaels hits him with a clothesline. He makes the tag to Cena and he steamrolls both opponents. They start chucking MNM into the cage and Mercury is busted open. Cena goes for the FU, but then Michaels is about to hit Sweet Chin Music, so Cena drops him instead. Michaels tunes up the band and hits Sweet Chin Music. Cena hits the FU and that's all. I'm not going to pretend like I have ever successfully been a wrestling promoter in my lifetime, but the way they job out the tag team division time and time again is probably why no one cares about it.
Match Rating: 3/4*
After the match, the cage rises back up and the other teams come in and attack him. Cena hits Haas with a steel chair and then heads to the back. They try to tease that Cena was going to hit Michaels, but he didn't really sell it too much. Michaels heads to the back while the others are left for dead.
Jeff Hardy vs. Edge Great Khali
Edge comes out and says that he won't perform in a city that has a team named the Washington Redskins. He says his friend Great Khali will be taking his spot. They wrestle for about 20 seconds and out comes Kane just in case this episode couldn't get any worse. Even better, he has the stupid hook from his stupid movie. Khali and Edge both leave, so Kane uses the hook to flip over the announce table.
Match Rating: No Rating
Mr. Fuji joins the Hall Of Fame class of 2007.
Mick Foley is with Todd Grisham to hype up his book. He says he'll be on ECW tomorrow and in comes Ashley. She trades her Playboy for his book. It leads to Ashley forcing Mick to look at the pictures and Ron Simmons to do what he does.
Vince asks his hairdresser who has the better hair until Coachman comes in and tells him that he does. How are there still 30 minutes left in this show?
Melina vs. Torrie Wilson
This is a non-title match for those of you who are concerned about that sort of thing. They should just let these two finish out the show here and wrestle a 20+ minute match. Torrie tries a couple of quick falls before Melina snaps her neck on the top rope. Melina blocks a suplex attempt and turns it into a roll up to pick up the win with some tight pulling. After the match, she keeps attacking Torrie and Mickie James comes out. Victoria is then out and we have a mini brawl. Melina is able to come out standing and then Ashley runs out. She throws her in the ring and hits a Spear. She tosses Melina out of the ring and stands tall.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Edge is with Vince and he proposes that Lashley faces Randy Orton on ECW. He says that he'll be in Orton's corner supporting him 100%. He then says that if for some reason Orton doesn't show up, he'll be thrown out of the Money In The Bank match. Vince agrees to all of this.
Next week it will be WrestleMania Reversal Night. JBL will take on Shawn Michaels and John Cena will take on Chris Benoit. JBL wrestled in between his comeback?
Vince is out and almost wipes out when walking under the ropes. He brings out Umaga and rambles on. Out comes Trump with Candice Michelle and Maria. I don't like to hate watch things, but I feel like I am doing that now. Only a few more weeks of this trash. He brings out Lashley and then they sign the contract. Trump is so terrible in this role, much like everything he does. Out comes Steve Austin to try and save this horrific segment. He goes after Trump verbally and Trump is so terrible that he can't even keep a straight face. He then goes to Vince and asks him what his problem is with bald people. Lashley then stares him down. Austin grabs him by the tie and he tells him that there will be a winner and a loser. Someone is getting a haircut and they will be bald. Austin heads to the back, then Vince says that what Austin was trying to say is that he is going to shave Trump's head bald. He and Umaga are starting to head to the back and then Trump gets on the mic. He brings up the pictures Vince has been doing with his face and now he did one for Vince. Words can't describe how bad Trump is. Trump wants a piece of Vince and sends Lashley to the back. Trump shoves Vince over the table and that's all.
This was an absolute dumpster fire of an episode of Raw. There wasn't one thing on this show that I thought was good. There are usually a few bright spots, but this one sucked the life out of me.
Overall Rating: 19%
No comments:
Post a Comment