Monday, March 19th, 2007
Conseco Fieldhouse
Indianapolis, Indiana
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22
This episode is in memory of Arnold Skaaland.
Shawn Michaels vs. JBL
JBL, who is dressed in a suit, has a mic on his way to the ring. He says that no one tells him what to do and when to do it. JBL basically rips Shawn Michaels and tells him he isn't going to beat John Cena at WrestleMania. Michaels fires back at him and it ends with him hitting Sweet Chin Music on JBL. I didn't do a very good job of recapping that, but it was an entertaining start to Raw and thankfully did not feature Vince or Trump.
Randy Orton confronts Edge backstage and calls him out for screwing him over on ECW last week. Orton says that he talked to Vince McMahon about the last chance battle royal tonight for the Money In The Bank. Orton said it's not for a 9th spot in the match, it's for Edge's spot. It's because Edge promised they would take out Bobby Lashley and they failed so now he has to earn his spot back. Edge is furious about the announcement.
It's time for another Master Lock Challenge. They hype up that it hasn't been broken in 2 years and show a few highlights. So of course the person who accepts the challenge is none other than Bobby Lashley. Masters has it in for a minute or so and then Lashley just breaks it to a nice pop. Masters is upset and grabs a chair, but just slams is against the ring post and leaves. I get what this was trying to accomplish, but it was kind of uneventful.
We get another video package about Ashley's Playboy shoot.
Vince confronts Lashley and gives him the slow clap treatment. He tells him that his gear was thrown in the dumpster and that he is going to be escorted by security out of the building. As he walks away, Vince walks up to Maria and compliments her earrings. He then walks into Eugene and his drink spills over Vince's suit. Vince says that accidents happen and that Eugene is going to be competing tonight. He tells Coach to get him Umaga. In walks Ron Simmons and he does what he does.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler address Arnold Skaaland and we then get a video tribute to him.
We get a WrestleMania All Grown Up commercial of Stone Cold Steve Austin, which is pretty memorable.
Last Chance Money In The Bank Qualifying Battle Royal
We have Ric Flair, Super Crazy, Viscera, Val Venis, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Carlito, Kenny Dykstra and of course, Edge. We are over a 1/3rd of the way through the show and we are getting our first match. They all team up on Viscera and eliminate him because that's what the battle royal guidebook told them to do. Edge is outside the ring and is acting as if he has a knee injury. We go to commercial and they wisely decide it is a good time to get rid of guys like Val Venis and Charlie Haas. Meanwhile, Edge is being checked out by doctors. Flair eliminates old rival Kenny Dykstra and Carlito eliminates Nitro. That leaves just Carlito and Flair, but we all know where this is headed. Flair and Carlito battle for a minute or two and Flair sends Carlito over the top. As they are announcing him as the winner, Edge comes in and tries to throw him over, but Flair botches it. He eventually gets him over and wins. I mean, that was about as telegraphed as it comes.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Oh great, it's time for Vince. After a commercial break. he brings out Umaga.
Umaga vs. Eugene
Umaga attacks Eugene right off the bat and we're going to get another predictable match here. He does his usual and hits the Samoan Spike for the easy win. After the match, Vince tells Umaga to get Eugene. He puts him in the barber chair and they strap him in. Vince then starts cutting and eventually buzzing his head.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Candice Michelle is here for some reason. She cuts a lifeless promo and calls out Melina for having a problem with women like her. Melina is out and tells her that the only reason she has a job is because she knows how to take off her clothes. Candice is awful here. It's not even worth me recapping but we are getting a bra and panties match.
Bra And Panties Match
Candice Michelle vs. Melina
We join the match in progress if you're wondering how important this match is. Melina pretty quickly is able to disrobe Candice and as soon as the match is over, Ashley is out. She gets in her face and then rips Melina's shirt off. Then Great Khali is out and this distraction allows Melina to attack her. Melina then sneaks out of the ring and Khali grabs Ashley by the throat. Jerry Lawler comes in and kicks Khali's knee. He lets Ashley go and grabs Lawler. He hits his double hand chokeslam and honestly didn't look like he was too gentle on the old man. This episode has just been horrendous so far and we're running out of time to save it.
Match Rating: 1/4*
We get more celebrities talking about who is going to get their head shaved. Most of them are making fun of Trump's hair.
Todd Grisham fills in for Lawler here.
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
I am looking forward to seeing the ascension of Jeff here over the next year or so. I'm not really looking forward to seeing that same ascension with Orton. Hardy is selling his back injury from Great Khali last week and now Orton is attacking it. Jeff makes a little comeback and hits Randy with Whisper In THe Wind. Out comes Edge and he goes under the ring to throw a ladder into the ring. Orton steals it from the ref and attacks Jeff with it. That's a DQ obviously, but then Orton and Edge have some words. This allows Jeff to hit a Twist Of Fate and then he hits a top rope leap frog over the ladder onto Orton. Edge walks to the back with a smile on his face. This was very brief and really didn't accomplish a ton in terms of advancement.
Match Rating: 3/4*
Vince is on the phone backstage and announces that next week on Raw it will be him against Bobby Lashley. Coachman doesn't agree with the decision. Vince guarantees that he'll beat him.
Shawn Michaels is out to join the commentary team.
They show highlights of Eugene getting his head shaved and then go to the back where Eugene is visibly upset.
Chris Benoit vs. John Cena
Is this the most high profile match between these two? Benoit gets in a fair amount of his offense here. He slaps on the Boston crab and Cena is able to skip out of it as you would expect. Cena hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and the AA for the easy victory. After the match, Shawn Michaels joins Cena and it leads to Cena getting Michaels up on his back for an AA, but Shawn gets out of it. Here comes JBL and he announces that Cena and Michaels will have a rematch with Undertaker and Batista next week. The show goes off the air with the Undertaker's bell ringing.
Match Rating: 3/4*
This episode was like watching paint dry. Nothing was working here and that seems to be a bit of a problem just 13 days from WrestleMania. Not a good wrestling show.
Overall Rating: 29%
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