Sunday, January 15th, 1989
The Summit
Houston, Texas
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Off The Grid, Volume 42:
We get a less enthusiastic Vince McMahon than we do in future Royal Rumbles to kick off the show. We then go to Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, who run down the card.
6 Man Two Out Of Three Falls Match
Dino Bravo & Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan & Hart Foundation
Duggan and the Harts come out to a huge pop. I miss when people got big ovations for doing standard moves. The faces get about all the offense to start and Bret almost gets a quick pin with a small package, sunset flip and crossbody. My television is always happy when it has Jacques Rougeau on it. They do a spot where they put all three heels in the corner and a big shoulder tackle on all of them. The momentum shifts when Raymond Rougeau pulls down the top rope and Bret takes a spill. Dino hits the side suplex and the Rougeaus hit their finisher for the first fall. They continue to work on Bret and get a few close calls out of it. The crowd starts chanting "U-S-A" and thankfully Ventura calls them out on it. Bret gets about every submission move from this era in the abdominal stretch, bear hug, camel clutch and Boston crab. Bret blocks a monkey flip and turns it into an inverted atomic drop. He tags in Duggan and the place comes unglued. He slingshots Neidhart and Bret in and they get the fall to tie it up. The heels slow things down and this time they single out Duggan. Bravo is an idiot and hits an inverted atomic drop and Duggan lands right in his corner and is able to tag in Bret. Bret tries to roll up Bravo, but he holds on the ropes. The referee is distracted, so Duggan jumps up and hits him in the back with the 2x4 and Bret picks up the victory. This was your usual good match featuring the Harts and Rougeaus in it.
Match Rating: ***
We go to get some pre-recorded segments with some of the superstars in the Royal Rumble. Ted DiBiase draws his number and isn't happy with it, so he calls in Slick. Slick says his numbers were unbelievable and DiBiase wants to go talk to him about it. Honky Tonk Many draws his number and he too is not too happy about it. The Bushwhackers are happy, but swap with each other anyway. Bad News Brown says it's good news. Jake Roberts just says that he hopes Andre is still there when he's in there. The Rockers wish each other good luck.
WWF Women's Championship Match
Rockin' Robin vs. Judy Martin
Sherri Martel gets on the mic before the match and she wants a match with whoever wins. She says that she is more woman than both of them put together. This is basically an answer to a trivia question more than it is anything decent. Sherri is on commentary, which makes it slightly more interesting. Martin does one of the worst small packages I've ever seen and Gorilla calls her out for looking lethargic. I am still trying to figure out how she is only 33 years old here. Robin hits a DDT and gets a 2 count. Martin gets a close call with a back slide. Robin fakes out Martin on a crossbody and then hits it when she comes back to put this match out of its misery.
Match Rating: 1/4*
WrestleMania V is coming on April 2nd, 1989.
Slick and the Twin Towers are with Sean Mooney. Slick denies talking to DiBiase and then they show the footage they just showed us. He tries to cover and then talks about how good the Twin Towers are.
Mean Gene Okerlund is out for the super posedown between Rick Rude and Ultimate Warrior. We get four total categories with the double biceps, best abs, most muscular and medley of poses. To the shock of no one, Warrior wins all of them. Watching this on Peacock is super annoying with Rude's music being so loud that you can hardly hear Jesse and Gorilla. Kudos to the crowd for somehow caring about this absolute waste of time. Rude attacks Warrior with his bar and then uses it to choke him. Warrior eventually chases him off. This was absolutely a complete waste of time.
We go to some of the managers in pre-recorded comments. Mr. Fuji says that Demolition will be the Powers of Pain's first targets. Miss Elizabeth says that she'll be cheering for both Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. Jimmy Hart talks about Double Trouble, Greg Valentine and Honky Tonk Man.
Jesse is in the throne to talk about the next match, which is still one of the weirder matches to be on pay-per-view during this era.
King Haku vs. Harley Race
Race comes out and dumps the seat that Haku is on and sends Haku to the floor. This starts the match and Race keeps the attack going. Race does his usual over the top turnbuckle to the floor spot and Haku gets some mild boos. This one has taken a red hot crowd and completely muted it. Race hits the piledriver, but only gets a 2 count. They collide and Race falls to the floor. Haku suplexes him back into the ring for another 2 count. Now Race hits a vertical suplex for a 2 count. This one feels like a bunch of moves with no story. I'm not the biggest fan of Race and haven't really seen a match that has won me over of his. Race goes for a piledriver outside the ring, but Haku counters it with a back body drop. They go outside again and Race pulls off one of the weaker looking piledrivers I've seen. Back in the ring, he hits a reverse neckbreaker for 2. Gorilla and Jesse are ripping on him for not hooking the leg, as per usual. They both go for moves off the turnbuckle and they both miss. This match needs to go home. Haku hits a beautiful superkick and that is all. At least it finished on a high note. If it were 2024, he would have had to hit 25 more of those and then a piledriver off the top rope. This was not a good match.
Match Rating: 3/4*
It's time for more pre-recorded interviews. Brutus Beefcake says his fists are the only tools he needs to make it through the Royal Rumble. Greg Valentine says he can't trust anybody but himself, including Jimmy Hart and Honky Tonk Man. We get it Greg, you don't want to dye your hair. He literally then says the same thing about his two fists. How does that happen? Mr. Fuji is back again and this time with the Powers Of Pain and again talks about Demolition. Big John Studd talks about this being a long time since he stepped in the ring and Heenan will not be in his corner. Mr. Perfect says that 1989 will be the year of perfection. Randy Savage gives us "Freak out, freak out".
We go to Mean Gene with Ted DiBiase and Virgil. DiBiase is a lot happier now and says when you're as wealthy as he is, you can be as lucky as you want to be.
Sean Mooney is with Bobby Heenan, Andre The Giant and the Brainbusters. Tully seems to be okay with Andre winning, but Arn seems to have other ideas.
Mean Gene is now with Hulk Hogan and he says that it will be the resurrection of Hulkamania tonight.
Royal Rumble
Howard Finkel announces the rules and then introduces our first two competitors. In one of the cooler moments, #1 is Ax and #2 is Smash. They go right at it, as Jesse lets us know that money will make people do anything. The crowd doesn't know how to react to hit, however. As they are still battling, #3 is Andre The Giant. The crowd isn't doing the traditional countdown here. Combo that with the lack of theme music and this is already just not as fun. They go after Andre right away and give us a preview of 14 months from now at WrestleMania VI. #4 is out and it's Mr. Perfect. We have our first elimination when Andre takes out Smash. #5 is none other than Ronnie Garvin. He hits Andre once and he's tied up in the ropes. You'd think Andre would find a way to not do that this far into his career. The focus is obviously on trying to get Andre out of the match, as you would expect here. #6 is Greg Valentine. Andre continues to fight out of the multi-man attempts to tip him over the top. Andre clotheslines Garvin over the top. #7 is Jake Roberts and he runs right to Andre. He gets the biggest pop of the match thus far. Valentine tries to eliminate Andre while he's working on Roberts, but is unsuccessful. #8 is the recently shaved Ron Bass. While he's on his way, Andre dumps Jake to the floor. Bass from afar kind of looks like Rusev. #9 is Shawn Michaels. He'll never amount to anything. Mr. Perfect eliminates Ax, which Gorilla was saying he didn't have enough mass earlier on to do that. Shawn dropkicks Perfect and almost eliminates him. I love how Andre has just no sold everything Valentine has done to him. #10 is Butch and is my pick to win the match. Out comes Jake Roberts again and throws in Damien into the ring. Andre is petrified and eliminates himself. I take back the countdown thing, as the crowd has been doing it more and more. #11 is Honky Tonk Man who comes out to a decent amount of boos, but a far cry from the nuclear heat he used to get. #12 is Working The Network favorite Tito Santana. I will say the action is a little better than I remember it being in this one. #13 is Bad News Brown, who surprisingly jogs down to the ring. If anyone was going to get 13, Brown makes the most sense. Butch and Tito are able to eliminate Honky surprisingly early. #14 is Marty Jannetty and every female in the crowd is loving it. We have both Rockers in there now and they hit a double dropkick to eliminate Bass. Tito is selling a leg injury, but hits a flying forearm on Valentine. #15 is the Macho Man and runs in there and attacks Bad News to a huge pop. #16 is Arn Anderson and while he's on his way, Valentine is dumped out by Savage. Michaels is eliminated as well by Savage and Arn. Tully is in there at #17 as they continue the tag team trope here. Only poor Butch hasn't had his partner in there yet. Marty gets eliminated by Tully after trying his best to hold on by his toes on the top rope. Tully almost eliminates himself trying to get him out. Out comes Hulk Hogan at #18 and he instantly eliminates Perfect. Butch finally gets his pal, Luke at #19. It lasts about 30 seconds as Butch is eliminated. Hogan has Tully up over his head, but instead of eliminating him, he drops him throat first on the top rope. Makes sense. #20 is out and it's Koko B. Ware. Koko is one of the few in the match who doesn't end up having a spot on the WrestleMania V card. Hogan pretty quickly dumps Koko out of there. Then Hogan takes care of Luke. #21 is Warlord and while he's on his way, Hogan eliminates both Brainbusters because of course he does. Warlord gets the famous quick elimination as he gets in and Hogan clotheslines him. Hogan then goes over to Bad News and Savage and dumps both of them. Savage comes in and is in Hogan's face. He gives him a shove and out comes Miss Elizabeth to play peacemaker. They eventually shake hands and the crowd loves it. Out comes #22 and it's Big Boss Man. They have a nice battle and then out comes #23, Akeem. I think everyone probably saw this one coming. The double team is just too much and the Towers eliminate Hogan. In typical Hogan fashion, he gets to be a sore loser and pulls Boss Man out. Out comes Robin, I mean Brutus Beefcake at #24. Hogan pulls Boss Man out again and I guess this time he is eliminated. Gorilla tries to defend it, but it makes no sense. They battle all the way to the back and it's just Akeem and Beefcake in the ring. Hogan was such a turd. Speaking of turds, here is Red Rooster at #25. He teams up with Beefcake to try to get rid of Akeem. Here comes #26, Barbarian. Instead of helping dump Akeem out, he saves him and then tries to do it himself. Even Jesse acknowledges how dumb that is. It's now time for Big John Studd at #27. The action has definitely become less interesting, which is not what you want at the end of the match. Hercules is #28 and Rick Martel is #29. Martel is trying to inject some life, but there are some real lugs in there right now. We finally get to #30 and it's obviously Ted DiBiase. The only thing I don't get is why was he so mad about his spot if he traded with Boss Man or Akeem? Rooster is eliminated and no one cares. Gorilla is livid about Virgil being able to stay out there. Barbarian is able to eliminate both Beefcake and Herc at the same time. Martel is able to get rid of Barbarian and we are down to Akeem, Martel, DiBiase and Studd. Akeem catches Martel and dumps him over. Akeem looked tired about 10 minutes ago, so I'm surprised he has lasted this long. Studd is able to dump him out and we are down to the finals. Studd hits a double underhook suplex, which is kind of surprising. Studd eliminates DiBiase and gets a better pop than I expected. In comes Virgil and Studd takes care of him without any problem. He tosses him over the top and he stands tall in the ring. You can't convince me that this was the right choice even without hindsight. DiBiase was the guy that should have won. The match itself was better than I had remembered. They hadn't picked up on some of the clever touches that make the match even more fun and there were no stakes other than the supposed purse money.
Match Rating: **3/4
This is never going to make the top of most people's favorite Royal Rumble shows. The three middle matches/posedown were mostly terrible and really hurt the flow of the show. The opener was good late 80s style wrestling and the Rumble wasn't bad. It's just hard to call this a good show.
Overall Rating: 47%
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