Friday, July 2, 2021

Superstars 3-12-94 Review

Original Airdate: Saturday, March 12th, 1994
Stabler Arena
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

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They show a clip of Tatanka receiving his new headdress on Raw. 

Tatanka vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Tatanka misses Brawler in the corner and Brawler is on the attack. Meanwhile, Johnny Polo is making fun of Tatanka crying. We get a promo from IRS who wants to tax him on his new headdress. What a reason for a feud. Tatanka battles back and hits a top rope chop. He hits the Samoan Drop for the quick victory. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

After the match, IRS comes out and tells Tatanka to fill out this tax form and throws it at him. Tatanka rips it up and heads to the back. 

Men On A Mission vs. Jim Messenger & Todd Mata

Messenger looks like he is wearing his pajamas and then Mo hits a weird somersault kick where it almost looks like he lands on his head. The Quebecers join us to save us from Polo's sound effects for a second to remind us that MOM is not leaving with the titles. Meanwhile, they hit their finish and that is all. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

It's Face To Face and unfortunately it's still Stan Lane. Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji give us a promo, well Cornette does. They didn't even bother to have Yokozuna here for it. 

Shawn Michaels vs. Mike Moraldo

Shawn gets a new entrance with a strobe light effect. I will say he feels like a pretty big deal here. He easily disposes of Moraldo and after the match Diesel hands him a ladder and he puts it over Moraldo. He then climbs the ladder and cuts a promo about how quickly he climbed the ladder. Nothing match, obviously. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

We then get footage of Bastion Booger eating with his shirt off in the locker room. 

It's WrestleMania Report time and we get a promo from Crush and a rebuttal from Crush. Alundra Blayze reminds us that she exists with a generic babyface promo. 

Bastion Booger vs. Earthquake

Vince just couldn't help himself here with this matchup. Adam Bomb gets a promo in here and the biggest mistake is that they let him talk. Booger squashes Quake in the corner, but Quake comes from behind and body slams him. Polo's sound effect machine is so annoying. Anyway, Quake hits his finisher and ends this awful match. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Vince introduces Lex Luger and Bret Hart to the ring. Luger basically says he is only concerned about Yokozuna at this time. Bret then tries to compliment Luger, which sounds like torture to Bret. Luger then compliments him back and they begin to celebrate together. However, they go to stand on the turnbuckle and get into a slight argument about that. 

We get another Sy Sperling segment, this time with Bam Bam Bigelow. 

Owen Hart vs. Ben Jordan

Jordan gets a couple of arm drags and a dropkick, but then misses with the second dropkick. Owen hits his standard offense and puts on the Sharpshooter for the victory. I am so close to getting to re-watch Owen and Bret for the first time in quite a few years. I was hoping the build would make it even better, but I have to say it has been very lackluster outside of the Survivor Series and Royal Rumble spots that I already had seen multiple times. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Time to end on a sour note with Stan Lane again. Shawn gets more interview time and he is the only Intercontinental Championship. Razor gives a list of options of what he's going to do with Shawn's belt after he wins. 

Outside of Shawn, nothing here was really good and it hardly felt like they were only 8 days away from WrestleMania. I am looking forward to revisiting that show, but not because of the build.

Overall Rating: 37%

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