Monday, October 9th, 2006
Colonial Center
Columbia, South Carolina
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
We have a new intro song to kick things off and as much as it pains me to say, it is a big improvement. I mean both songs aren't good, but this one is less bad and fits the era. This is the season premiere for whatever reason. Most premieres tend to take place in September, no? Michael Cole and JBL are also here tonight on behalf of SmackDown and Joey Styles and Tazz from ECW.
John Cena's music hits to kick off the show and he gets a huge pop. Not that anyone reads a single word that I write on here (and I can't blame you). But if for some reason you just happen to be reading this sentence, I do really recommend watching the cage match between Edge and Cena on the previous Raw. Before Cena can get to talking about much, out comes King Booker and Queen Sharmell. Cena starts mocking his accent and tells him that this isn't a renaissance fair. Cena wants to throw down and Booker takes off his robe and is ready to go until Big Show's music hits. He says that he is the champion of champions and the most dominant in the ring. They argue over each other's movies and rip on Booker for Ready To Rumble. Cena says they need to stop talking about movies and goes after Big Show. Big Show clears the ring after the very brief action.
Paul Heyman, Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are show arguing backstage. We come back to Heyman hyping up Big Show, which leads to Coach to say that Big Show will fight Jeff Hardy tonight. Heyman says that if his champion is fighting tonight, then both of theirs is also. Heyman says it will be King Booker against Rob Van Dam. Coach suggests that Cena take on Miz, but Teddy says it will be ONE ON ONE WITH THE UNDERTAKER.
Loser Leaves Raw Match
Umaga vs. Kane
Trust me, there's only one loser. They go at it right away with a 50/50 start. Kane is able to throw Umaga into the top of the turnbuckle and then goes up top. Umaga gets to him first and shoves him to the floor into the commercial break. Umaga goes for the splash in the corner, but Kane catches him. Umaga counters and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Kane sits right up, so Umaga hits him with a flatliner. Umaga goes up top and hits a huge splash. Kane comes back and hits a top rope clothesline. We get a distraction and Armando Estrada hits him with a weapon and Umaga hits the Samoan Spike for the victory. Back in 2006, this was a great day since I didn't watch SmackDown very often and was done with Kane. Unfortunately, I have to watch it all now. This was about as good as this match was going to be to their credit.
Match Rating: *3/4
Steve Spurrier is announced by Lilian Garcia since we are in South Carolina.
Kane is shown walking in the back and gets introduced to the Highlanders. They tell him that he put his heart and soul into everything he did and wants to shake his hand. Kane greets him with a right hand and destroys them both.
We now get DX in front of a podium for an apology. They bury the tag team division, make a bad joke about the Spirit Squad, make fun of Coach and Chris Masters, interfering with Edge and then for beating Cade and Murdoch before it happens. They then promote their merch. 2006 is mostly miss for DX.
Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy
Hardy tries to chop down Show's legs, but he quickly is being hit with a slap to the chest. Show slams Hardy in the corner and goes up to the second rope. Hardy is able to roll out of the way and starts clubbing away on Show. Hardy goes for a DDT, but Show dumps him over the top rope. Hardy gets right back up and hits a Whisper In The Wind. Hardy goes up top again and hits the Swanton, but Show kicks out. That's a little surprising that they let him kick out of that so early in Hardy's run. Show hits the Big Sleep and the Show Stopper for the victory. Well, that was quick. One week you're winning the Intercontinental Championship, the next you're getting a fraction of the minutes that Sandman gets. After the match, Johnny Nitro comes in and attacks Hardy. Show comes back in the ring and hits the Big Sleep and tosses him out of the ring.
Match Rating: *1/2
Street Fight
D-Generation X vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Before the match, we get more Gamecock jokes than you would ever want in your life. Cade and Murdoch are able to get the best of DX and throw Triple H into the steps. They hit the inverted atomic drop/boot to the face combo on Michaels and then start whipping him with a belt. DX shifts the momentum when Triple H pulls down the top rope and Cade goes over the top. Triple H hits a suplex onto the rampway and then hits Cade in the head with a chair. When does it stop? DX sets up a table and put Murdoch on it. Michaels hits an elbow drop off the top rope through the table. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music, Triple H hits the Pedigree and that's all. That seemed like a lot of unnecessary punishment for a feud that no one cared about.
Match Rating: **
Edge is interviewed backstage and he says that he will be bringing back his show tonight, The Cutting Edge.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit
Shelton is from South Carolina, so we know he's going to lose here. Benjamin tries to claim that Minnesota is where he's from and says he's not leaving here until he gets an opponent. Benoit is out and we have a match. Shelton hits a nice Samoan drop, but only gets 2. Benoit comes back with some Germans, but misses the headbutt off the top rope. Shelton hits a splash in the corner, but then Benoit slaps on the Crippler Crossface for the victory. So we have 3 hours to fill, but only have like 3 minutes for this match?
Match Rating: *3/4
Teddy tells Heyman that SmackDown is getting some victories here tonight. Super Crazy is brought in for some reason and starts speaking English. Teddy is shocked and JBL says he never cared.
Chavo Guerrero, Finlay & William Regal vs. Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley & Batista
This match starts off at a frantic pace, so this will probably be about 5 minutes long. We get an early commercial break after Finlay does the ring apron gimmick. We see that during the commercial break, Hornswoggle drags Mysterio under the ring. After getting beat on for a couple of minutes, Batista gets the hot tag and powerslams Finlay onto Regal. Lashley comes in and hits a double spear. The match breaks down and it leads to a Frog Splash from Mysterio on Chavo for the victory.
Match Rating: **
They show John Cena training for The Marine.
King Booker says that he must take care of this RVD.
WWE Women's Championship Tournament First Round Lumberjack Match
Melina vs. Torrie Wilson
Moolah and Mae Young were announced before the Cena vignette. The lumberjacks are are the women who are going to be in the Extreme Strip Poker on ECW tomorrow. They start with all the typical tropes of a lumberjack match, but the ladies on the outside aren't experienced in this, so it doesn't work well. They start having a pretty normal match. Kristal trips up Torrie and it provides a distraction for Melina to roll her up and grab the tights. After the match, Torrie gives Kristal the stinkface. This was as bad as you would expect it to be.
Match Rating: 1/4*
They show the WrestleMania 23 press conference highlights.
King Booker vs. Rob Van Dam
RVD gets his shoulder thrown into the ring post pretty early on and that allows for a little bit of offense from Booker. It definitely feels like they are phoning it in a little bit here, but I can't really blame them. Sharmell crotches RVD and that allows Booker to hit the Scissor Kick for the victory. That was pretty uninspired.
Match Rating: *
Mitch says he sucks but he has the backing of his friends.
The GMs are together again and Vince is there now too. He proposes that they have all 3 champions square off to name the champion of champions.
Mitch vs. Ric Flair
Flair brings out some backup with him and it's Roddy Piper, Ted DiBiase, IRS and Arn Anderson. Flair gets some chops, a chop block and puts on the Figure Four for the less than 60 second victory. Just remember, he had a wrestling match that you had to pay for 16 years after this.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Edge and Lita are out for The Cutting Edge. He brings out his special guest and it's Randy Orton. He tells Orton that he's been impressed with him, but that he's lost a lot of big matches. He shows when Triple H turned on Orton in Evolution and then the cage match last week where Edge lost. They agree to join forces and take on DX.
John Cena vs. Undertaker
It takes about 60 seconds or so for Michael Cole to call Undertaker the best pure striker in WWE. We get a pretty surprisingly intense start to the match and it leads to Cena hitting a superplex. Taker then catches Cena in a bearhug for some reason. Cena bites his way out of it and hits a shoulder block. He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Cena is able to come back with an awkward looking DDT for a 2 count. We get a tease for both finishers, but it leads to an Undertaker chokeslam. Out comes Big Show and King Booker and they attack Undertaker. They clothesline him out of the ring and then out comes Mr. Kennedy. He gets hit with a boot and Taker goes after him. That leaves the main event for Cyber Sunday in the ring. Cena puts the STFU on Big Show and he taps until Booker breaks it up. Cena gives him a FU to end the show. They did what they could with their couple of minutes, but in the end, that's all it was.
Match Rating: **
I feel like this show took me 15 sittings to get through. It actually was a mostly entertaining show, but unfortunately nothing was overly memorable.
Overall Rating: 59%
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