Survivor Series 1994 Review

Wednesday, November 23rd, 1994
Freeman Coliseum
San Antonio, Texas

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They show all of the teams getting ready for their matches. Vince McMahon and Gorilla Monsoon are your hosts tonight. 

The Teamsters (Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart & Jeff Jarrett) vs. The Bad Guys (Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog & Headshrinkers)

Considering that this is 1994, these are actually two pretty solid teams. I think we all can agree it's better than a team of masked wrestlers that no one knows and a substitute captain. Kid and Neidhart start things off here. Kid gets in some fun offense in before tagging in Sione and he press slams Jarrett. Owen gets tagged in and he gets some big boos and Sione tags in Bulldog to a nice pop. Bulldog catapults Owen into his corner and his teammates join in to get a shot in and then Bulldog press slams him. Owen fights back with an enzuigiri and tags in Neidhart to hit a double clothesline. Bulldog is back with the delayed vertical suplex and he tags in Fatu, who immediately climbs to the top and hits a headbutt. Fatu was having troubles climbing the ropes because he is wearing boots, so he tries to take them off. The distraction only helps for a minute, as he's immediately back on offense and tags in Razor. We get a huddle in the corner of the Teamsters and some stalling from Jarrett. Razor clotheslines him over the top rope and Shawn Michaels has to calm Diesel down. Razor hits the fall away slam and tags in the Kid. He gives the Kid a fall away slam onto Jarrett for a 2 count. Jarrett slaps on the abdominal stretch on the Kid, using Shawn for extra leverage. The pace picks up with the Kid and Owen and then we get some previews of making a difference Fatu with some dancing. Owen tries a DDT, but Fatu no sells it, but is greeted by Diesel. This is the first time he's been in the match. He hits the Jackknife and Fatu is gone. Kid races in and hits him with a dropkick. Kid runs up top and goes for a sunset flip, but Diesel picks him up and chucks him to the ground. He gives him a Jackknife and Kid is gone too. Sione takes his chance and it ends up with him taking a Jackknife as well and he's gone. We're down to 5 on 2. Diesel hits a big boot on Bulldog and out of the ring. Razor rolls up Diesel and almost gets a pinfall. Apparently Bulldog was counted out and it's just Razor Ramon now. Razor hits a bulldog off the second rope, but Diesel is able to kick out. Shawn has yet to be in the ring, but is barking orders to Diesel. Razor is able to make a comeback and signals for the Razor's Edge. Diesel counters out of it with a back drop and both men are down. Shawn is in and he has Diesel hold Razor up. He goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Razor ducks and he nails Diesel. Michaels begins to yell at Diesel and Diesel goes nuts. He starts throwing his teammates around trying to get to Shawn. He chases him to the back and all of the team is counted out, meaning Razor Ramon is your lone survivor here. This was actually a really entertaining match that also gave us the Diesel face turn (for better or for worse, you decide). The crowd was into this and so was I.

Match Rating: ***1/2

After the match, Michaels has his bags and is telling Todd Pettengill in a cowboy hat to follow him in the car. Michaels said that he wants nothing to do with Diesel ever again because he made him. Michaels speeds out of there. 

The Royal Family (Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Sleazy & Queasy) vs. Clowns Are Us (Doink, Dink, Wink & Pink)

Doink and Lawler kick this one off. I could be missing something, but I think this is basically the beginning of the end for Doink. We get some shenanigans where Dink, Wink and Pink all run over Lawler when he's down and then Cheesy, Sleazy and Queasy chase after him and run over him as well. Lawler does the same thing to Doink and it leads to his teammates tripping and falling at the end. If you couldn't tell, this is a comedy match. Doink puts Dink on his shoulders for a chicken fight, so Lawler tries to do it with Sleazy, except Lawler goes on his shoulders and he instantly tips over. Lawler and Doink go for a test of strength and then the teammates come in for a crisscross. It leads to the clowns hitting a double dropkick. Lawler hits Doink with a foreign object to take control. Doink throws Lawler into his three teammates and then everyone begins chasing each other on the apron. They all start brawling and Doink hits a crossbody, but Lawler rolls through and grabs the tights to eliminate Doink. So Lawler is now technically not allowed to be in the ring. Queasy is the best, but after biting Dink's fingers, he gets bit in the butt. Dink hits a monkey flip on Cheesy. Wink tries for one, but Lawler grabs onto Cheesy and he gets the pinfall. Lawler drops Cheesy onto Pink and he is eliminated. Pink slides under the ring after being eliminated. It's left to just Dink here and he heads up to the top and hits a crossbody, but Lawler breaks up the pin. Queasy comes in and flips them over and Dink is gone. The Royal Family gets the clean sweep here. Dink also goes under the ring as Lawler is celebrating. Lawler grabs the mic and starts insulting his teammates and tells them they need to get on their knees and kiss his royal feet. Sleazy, Cheesy and Queasy continue to celebrate, so Lawler kicks them out of the ring. They still are celebrating and Lawler chases after them. They try to fight him, but now we have Dink, Pink and Wink all attacking Lawler. They chase him around the ring and all the way to the entrance. Then from behind, it's Doink and he hits him with a pie in the face. Some of this match was fun enough, it was just way too long for what they were trying to accomplish.

Match Rating: *

After we see Todd crack up at the pie in the face, they show highlights of Bull Nakano winning the WWF Women's Championship. Todd interviews her and she speaks in Japanese. 

Submission Match For The WWF Championship
Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Bret is on the offense in the early going and we get lots of headlocks to hammer home that it's a submission match. Bret tries to lock in the Sharpshooter, but Backlund is able to kick out. Backlund finally gets an opening and starts working on the arm. Backlund goes for the Crossface Chickenwing, but Bret is able to block it. Stu and Helen are at ringside, as are Bret's kids. I will give them credit, they are keeping the crowd interested. I'm somewhere in the middle so far. Bret is able to slap on the Figure Four, but Owen has the towel on the steps and says they are staying right there. Backlund reverses it and Owen rejoices. Backlund hits a piledriver and both men are down. Bret eventually mounts a comeback and hits a backbreaker. It's time for the second rope elbow drop and then he goes for the Shaprshooter. Owen tries to come in, but Bulldog chases him around the ring. He gets it on and the referee tries to get Bulldog out of the ring and Owen attacks Bret to break the hold and some good heat from the crowd. Bulldog charges at Owen and Bulldog ends up running into the steel steps and is knocked unconscious. Bret goes to check on him and and locks in the Crossface Chickenwing. We get a split screen of Owen showing concern about Bulldog and Bret being locked in the hold. Bret has been in the hold now for at least a few minutes, which has to be a joy for him. Owen eventually goes over to his parents and starts begging for her to throw in the towel. This is all taking place over a little bit too much time for my taste. In wrestling we are conditioned to see "unconscious" people get up and mount a comeback within a matter of minutes, yet Bulldog hasn't moved and yet no one has checked in on him. Owen is finally able to convince Helen to throw in the towel and Owen runs to the back gloating. We have a new WWF Champion and the crowd is in shock. Bret is helped to the back and Backlund is awarded the title belt. I got back into wrestling about 6 months after this and was completely shocked when I saw that Bret lost to Backlund. The match was actually pretty good until the ending. The ending was good, but it just took way too long. 

Match Rating: ***

We go back to Todd with Owen and he says that Bret is down in the gutter now. He says that Bret's a quitter and he would never quit. 

Gorilla and Vince are in shock that they fell for Owen. Gorilla even has his arms crossed in disgust. He calls Owen a first class creep. 

The Million Dollar Team (Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, King Kong Bundy & Heavenly Bodies) vs. Guts And Glory (Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb & Smoking Gunns)

After a little bit of Tatanka offense, Luger cleans house. Bundy walks in the ring and Mabel is right there. We get Prichard and Mabel now while Gorilla wonders why IRS is not on the team. He's too busy trying to find out if dead people were tax cheats. Mabel hits a crossbody splash off the second rope and Prichard is already gone. Del Ray tries a clothesline, but it doesn't bother Mabel and he hits a Rock Bottom. In comes Bundy now and we have the big guys. Mabel is able knock Bundy down with a shoulder tackle and in comes Bam Bam. Mabel hits his spin kick and climbs up to the top rope. Bam Bam meets him there and slams him off. Bam Bam then goes for a top rope sunset flip, but Mabel squashes him instead. Mabel hits a clothesline and both men tumble to the floor. Bam Bam is able to get back in the ring and Mabel has been counted out. Del Ray hits a superkick on Billy before Adam Bomb and Bam Bam are in there. Bomb counters out of a suplex, but then misses with a dive. Bomb comes back in with the slingshot clothesline. He runs the ropes, but Bundy hits him in the back of the head. Bam Bam hits a bulldog and then hits a spinning splash to eliminate Bomb. Luger comes right in and gets a nearfall. Del Ray is in there and Luger hits a clothesline to eliminate Del Ray. The Gunns work together to wear down Tatanka. They hit their leg drop/side suplex combo, but Tatanka kicks out. Bart goes for a crucifix, but Tatanka catches him and hits the End Of The Trail for the pinfall. Luger gets some more time in with Tatanka before tagging in Billy. Tatanka catches Billy in midair and hits a spinebuster. He tags in Bundy, but he misses with an elbow drop. He is able to squash him in the corner and then hits an elbow drop to eliminate Billy. It's now Luger by himself. Tatanka distracts Luger, which gives Bundy his opening. The Million Dollar Team continues to work on Luger, but can't eliminate him. Tatanka hits a series of elbow drops, but when he goes for the body slam, Luger rolls him up and gets the pinfall. Bundy immediately comes in and hits the elbow drop and gets the victory for his team. This had a lot more action than I was expecting. After the match, they attack Luger until Luger's team comes running down and we now have ourselves a big brawl. After Guts And Glory clear the ring, they check in on the injured Luger. 

Match Rating: ***

Pettengill is with Bob Backlund and he says that he's been the champion since 1978 because he never lost. He cuts a pretty psychotic promo here. I'm surprised that doesn't pop up more often. 

Chuck Norris is introduced here to a pretty good ovation. I have to say I never understood any of the appeal of Norris. 

Casket Match
Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Yoko is playing up his fear of the casket and is quickly knocked on top of it in front of Paul Bearer and Norris. Taker slams Yoko into the steps and then hits Old School. Yoko comes back and hits a Samoan drop, but Taker sits up. Yoko follows up with a clothesline and Taker again sits up, but this time a little bit slower. He tries to get Taker in the casket, but he gets his neck snapped on the ropes instead. Yoko does get Taker in the casket, but he gets his arms up to block the lid. They both end up in the casket and are trading blows. Mr. Fuji comes from behind and grabs the hair of Taker. He goes after Fuji and he tries to set up a sneak attack from Cornette, but it backfires and Taker takes a shot at him. Yoko does take advantage though and knocks him back to the outside. After some slow offense from Yoko, Taker comes back and hits a top rope clothesline. It should be noted that Norris has done absolutely nothing to this point. Taker tries to roll Yoko into the casket and out comes King Kong Bundy. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out and joins him. The distraction allows for IRS to come in from behind and attack Taker. He slaps on the sleeper hold and Chuck hasn't taken his eyes off of Bam Bam and Bundy. IRS dumps Taker into the casket. They all escape without getting involved with Norris. Yoko is trying to get himself up to close the lid. He tries to reach and finally gets it, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Out comes Jeff Jarrett, but he's hit with a kick from Norris. Taker hits a leaping clothesline and a DDT. Taker hits a boot to the face that sends him in the casket. Taker grabs the Japanese flag, cracks it on his knee and throws it in the casket before closing it and winning the match. Really? The interference made no sense here, Chuck Norris hardly did anything and the match was boring. I mean, I wasn't expecting a thrilling match, but I thought it would be a little bit better with some good interference. Instead we get IRS. 

Match Rating: *

You know what? I didn't mind this show. Yeah, the main event was bad, but I mean who thought it would be good? Three out of the five matches were pretty good, with the opener coming close to greatness. I'm not saying this is a good show, but I can see how some would have nostalgia for it. Not great, but not terrible.

Overall Rating: 51%