Thursday, June 13, 2024

ECW 5-1-07 Review

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
BJCC Arena
Birmingham, Alabama

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We get a still photo recap of Vince McMahon winning the ECW Championship. I am dreading these upcoming episodes. 

Lashley comes out to the ring and he wants a rematch right now. Instead, out comes Armando Alejandro Estrada in a neck brace and wheelchair. He informs Lashley that he can't touch Vince, Shane or Umaga or he forfeits his rematch. Lashley doesn't like that and shoves Estrada into the steps. 

Elijah Burke talks about what CM Punk did to all of them. He says tonight, they need to all follow his lead. 

CM Punk vs. Kevin Thorn

Punk hits a leg lariat right off the bat, but Thorn is back up and trapping Punk in the corner with kicks. Punk quickly battles back and catches him with a kick to the head. He hits a Go To Sleep and that's it? That was a burial for Thorn there. After the match, the rest of the New Breed just goes to the back. 

Match Rating: 1/4*

Extreme Exposé shows up and they spray silly string on each other. No one cares. 

Elijah Burke tells Thorn that anyone of them could have beat Punk, so Thorn quits. 

In case you forgot, Snitsky still exists. I'll still never get what they thought they were going to do with him. 

Matt Striker & Marcus Cor Von vs. Major Brothers

All right, the Major Brothers. I wasn't expecting them here, so I guess that's a fun surprise. Unfortunately this episode is only half over even though it feels like I have been watching it for 2 hours. Cor Von turns a press slam into a fall away slam on Zack Ryder. I'm not even going to pretend to know their Major names. The Majors then get a couple of nearfalls, but the crowd just doesn't care. They've already botched Cor Von. We then get a reverse crossbody into a pin on Striker and they get the 3 count for the surprise win. Burke gets in Striker's face after the match and Striker walks away defeated. I mean I guess this was fun, but it wasn't like the 1-2-3 Kid/Razor Ramon or anywhere even close. It doesn't help that they just did the Santino Marella angle either. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

If you didn't think this episode sucked enough, here's Vince. He rambles on about something and then brings out the ECW originals. He asks them what they think of him as ECW Champion. He then asks who wants a title shot against him next week. They all do, so he decides that the four of them will fight tonight and the winner will face him next week. He then has the staff bring out a boatload of weapons as we go into a commercial break. 

Extreme Rules 4 Way Dance ECW Championship #1 Contender Match
Tommy Dreamer vs. Sandman vs. Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

RVD starts throwing the weapons in the ring and then he and Sabu hit the Rolling Thunder/leg drop combo on Dreamer. Sabu hits an awkward leap off a chair and takes RVD down to the floor. Sandman hits a bullog on Dreamer into a trash can for a 2 count. Dreamer goes to confront Vince, but ends up taking a chair from him and hits the dropkick into the face of Sandman. RVD then hits a back suplex on a chair on Sabu. RVD hits the skateboard kick with a chair into the head of Sabu. Dreamer hits a piledriver on RVD and he does his big bounce bump. Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault on Sandman, but he kicks out. Sabu throws a table into the ring. Sabu puts Sandman on the table and starts climbing. Dreamer beats him there and superplexes Sabu through Sandman and the table. RVD hits the 5 Star Frog Splash on Sandman and picks up the victory. I think we all knew who was winning this one. This was pretty sloppy and lacking of just about any psychology whatsoever. 

Match Rating: *

Another week, another dud of an episode. 

Overall Rating: 35%

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