Thursday, August 26, 2021

Off The Grid, Volume 14: SummerSlam 1991 Review

Sunday, August 26th, 1991
Madison Square Garden
New York City, New York

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Off The Grid, Volume 14:

The scrolling logo here for Vince's introduction is one of the best graphics WWF/E ever came up with. Our announcers tonight are Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Roddy Piper.

Ricky Steamboat, Texas Tornado & British Bulldog vs. Warlord & Power & Glory

There's something about random 6 man tag matches that wins me over. Roma hits a nice dropkick on Steamboat. He gloats too long and Steamboat hits an arm drag off the second rope. The crowd is somehow still hot for the Bulldog/Warlord feud, which admittedly was better than you would expect. Steamboat goes for a monkey flip, but Warlord shoves him off and Roma hits an ax handle off the top rope. Hercules does a weird distraction spot, but it ends up working in his favor. The heels continue to work on Steamboat because he's the master of selling, so it works for me. Warlord goes off the second rope, but Steamboat gets his boots up and gets the hot tag to Tornado. He makes a blind tag to Bulldog, who then gets caught off the second rope. Tornado hits a spinning punch on Warlord and they almost gets the victory. Warlord tags in Roma, but he gets scooped up by Bulldog and he hits the Powerslam, but Roma kicks out. Steamboat comes in off the top rope and gets the victory. The finish seemed a little messed up there, but this was a great time for fans of this era. 

Match Rating: ***

Sean Mooney is with Mr. Perfect and Coach and he cuts a very short, but effective promo. 

Intercontinental Championship Match
Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

The crowd is super into Bret here, which is pretty impressive in New York against Mr. Perfect. We are treated to a lot of good action to start off, with Bret getting the better of Perfect more often than not. Bret clotheslines him over the top rope and Perfect starts to head to the back. Bret grabs him and rips his singlet. Meanwhile, Heenan makes a great joke about Stu and Helen sneaking into the show. Perfect takes control and Piper thinks he looks a little heavier. We get a great spot where Perfect knocks Bret off the apron and into a photographer into the guardrail. The photographer totally no sells it though, which sucks. Hart gets a fantastic roll up for a nearfall and I absolutely love this match. Perfect stays in control, with Bret surviving everything he throws at him. Perfect hits the Perfect Plex and Bret somehow kicks out of it. Bret hits the atomic drop and then throws him across the ring, with Perfect sliding into the ring post crotch-first. Bret hits a beautiful suplex and a backbreaker. After a close call by a Perfect pin attempt, Bret tosses Perfect into the ring post. Bret starts to work on the legs and goes for the Sharpshooter. Coach jumps up on the apron and Bret knocks him off. Perfect kicks the middle rope into the groin of Bret and regains control. Perfect goes for a leg drop to the midsection of Bret, but Bret catches it and flips him over into the Sharpshooter and we have a new Intercontinental Champion. Bret rips off the rest of Perfect's singlet and the crowd loves it. Thirty years later, this is still a masterpiece. 

Match Rating: *****

Alfred Hayes goes to ruin Stu and Helen's moment. Bret comes up them to celebrate and then Stu starts to talk and Alfred cuts him off and says he is speechless. 

It's the hottest ticket in town, it's Hot Ticket. It's all about Hulk Hogan! Coming this October. 

Mean Gene has the honor of being with the Bushwhackers and Andre The Giant. They show Earthquake attacking Andre on Superstars and taking out his knee. This is the weirdest combination. 

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

We get lots of shenanigans to start things off and they use Earthquake for the Battering Ram on Typhoon. They hit a double clothesline and clear the ring. The Disasters slow things down and go to work on Butch. Quake accidentally hits Typhoon and it allows for the tag to Luke. The referee starts to lose control and Earthquake hits the big splash for the easy victory. I honestly remember this being a lot worse. It probably should have never been on the show, but it was quick and enjoyable enough to earn it's 10 minutes. After the match, the Disasters start to go after Andre, but Legion of Doom comes down to stop them. It kind of ruins them for later in the show in my opinion, but it is what it is.

Match Rating: 3/4*

Bobby Heenan left the match to go interview Hogan and he knocks on Hogan's door to show him the real world's championship belt and gets the door slammed in his face. 

Randy Savage is backstage in tie dye talking on the phone about his big wedding night. 

We then go to Ted DiBiase and Sensatinoal Sherri and we get the video package of the Virgil saga. 

Million Dollar Championship Match
Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Virgil attacks DiBiase from behind and clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. Back in the ring, Virgil hits an atomic drop and that also sends him over the top rope. Heenan is now back to the announce table and is immediately harassed by Piper and Gorilla. Meanwhile, Virgil goes for a dive over the top rope but crashes and burns. I'm not really sure why they felt like Heenan should come out during the match. DiBiase hits a pretty convincing double ax handle off the second rope for a 2 count. Virgil ducks a clothesline and slaps on the Million Dollar Dream. In comes Sherri and she hits him in the back of the head with her purse and Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Howard Finkel gets on the mic and says that Sherri needs to return to her dressing room and that the match will continue. Virgil continues in control until DiBiase reverses an Irish whip and it sends Virgil into Hebner, knocking him out. DiBiase hits some suplexes and a piledriver, but Hebner is still down. DiBiase takes out some anger on Hebner, taunts Piper and then rips off the turnbuckle pad. Virgil counters DiBiase and slams his head into the exposed metal. Both men are down until Virgil starts crawling over and gets the victory and the big pop from the crowd. As a kid watching this live, I was so invested in this storyline and was totally along for the ride here. The match wasn't quite as good as I remembered, but it was still a fantastic moment. 

Match Rating: ***1/4

We go back to Mean Gene who is with the Mountie and we get highlights of their storyline. Mountie then tells the cops that he wants them to drag him all the way to prison. We then go to Big Boss Man and Sean Mooney. Boss Man says that Mountie needs to be praying to God because he's going to spend a long night in jail. 

Jailhouse Match
Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man starts off with a big right hand. Mountie tries some of his own, but Boss Man isn't having it. Boss Man is usually super over, but the crowd seems exhausted already. Boss Man catches Mountie off the second rope and hits a spinebuster. Boss Man goes after Jimmy Hart and Mountie is able to push him into the steel steps. I really forgot how dead the crowd was for this. Younger me was really excited about this match. Mountie bites Boss Man and then goes for a piledriver. Boss Man tries to block it, but he nails it and Jimmy Hart is at least loving it. Mountie signals to Jimmy to distract the ref and he grabs the cattle prod. Boss Man avoids it and knocks it out of his hands. Boss Man hits a right hand and then a Boss Man Slam, but Mountie kicks out. That finally wakes up the crowd a little bit. Mountie goes for another piledriver, but this time Boss Man blocks it and hits an Alabama Slam for the victory. Boss Man immediately drags him out of the ring and calls out the cops to cuff him. They follow along as he heads out of the arena. The police van is headed out and the fun is about to begin. The match itself was pretty mediocre, but everything after is great. 

Match Rating: *1/2

Ted DiBiase and Sherri are livid with Mean Gene. Bret Hart says that today is the greatest day for the Hitman. Back to Mean Gene with Jimmy Hart and the Natural Disasters. Jimmy is freaking out about the Mountie. The Disasters aren't happy with LOD. Sean Mooney gets Big Boss Man and he cuts a dorky promo. Mean Gene walks into Savage's locker room, but he's talking on the phone. 

We get video of the Mountie arriving at the slammer. Jimmy Hart is now with the Nasty Boys and they're going to take care of LOD. LOD disagrees and we get even more amazing Mountie videos. The Triangle of Terror talks about having one more little surprise. We go to Sid Justice and he says that he's a man that stands alone. They show a video of Sid talking to Slaughter, with him trying to get Sid to join him. 

Street Fight For The WWF Tag Team Championships
Nasty Boys vs. Legion Of Doom

LOD comes right out and we have ourselves a brawl. Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for a 2 count. Sags sprays something in Hawk's eyes and then hits him with a crate of drinks and ice water. The Nasty's for some reason are still using distractions for some reason, even though there are no rules. Sags hits a top rope elbow drop, but Animal makes the save. The rules make no sense because what is stopping them from not even tagging? Animal gets the hot tag and takes care of both men. Animal ducks a helmet shot, but Sags is able to stop before hitting Knobbs. Hawk knocks the helmet out of the hands of Hart and uses it on both Knobbs and Sags. They hit the Doomsday Device and we have new champions. This wasn't anything special, but it was quick and fun. 

Match Rating: **1/4

More Mountie shenanigans. You're hurting my arm!

IRS vs. Greg Valentine

I love that I refuse to call him I.R.S. I also can't believe they booked this match on SummerSlam. This is the mullet version of IRS. This match is a lot of stalling to start and then your typical boring IRS offense. Meanwhile, Gorilla just can't understand why no one has been grabbing IRS by the tie or suspenders and the crowd is chanting "Boring". IRS goes up top, but Valentine slams him and then hits some chops. Valentine starts working on the legs and signals for the Figure Four. IRS is able to get to the bottom rope to break the hold. Valentine yanks his leg and pulls him back in the middle of the ring. He hits a headbutt below the belt and goes for the Figure Four again. IRS counters it into a small package and that's it. It's pretty incredible that this exact same character lasted as long as it did. 

Match Rating: 1/2*

It's time for Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior. They give you the exact interview you were expecting. 

Sgt. Slaughter, Col. Mustafa & Gen. Adnan vs. Ultimate Warrior & Hulk Hogan

This follows the usual Hogan blueprint, except there is no doubt in anyone's mind who is going to win this thing. Warrior blocks a Mustafa suplex, but he counters and hits one of his own. Mustafa is able to make the tag to Slaughter and he makes sure he hits Hogan and then cheats behind Sid's back. Piper is just yelling out things at this part. Warrior ducks Slaughter and hits a really nice leaping clothesline. Slaughter gets up before Warrior, but for some reason he watches him get up and tag Hogan. Warrior grabs a chair and chases off Adnan and Mustafa to the back. Hogan throws some powder in Slaughter's face behind Sid's back and hits the boot for the victory. They really should have had one more trick up their sleeve to go along with Sid, because this just feels like such an odd main event to an otherwise really strong show. Thanks to Warrior threatening to walk out, Hogan gets to celebrate alone and then calls out Sid to pose with him. I remember being furious that Sid didn't turn on him here. 

Match Rating: *3/4

We go back to the Mountie and they show him in his prison cell. 

We now get a video package of the proposal of Randy Savage and with Vince drooling over the ring. We then get a musical tribute to the couple. The ring actually looks pretty cool for the ceremony, especially for 1991. "Beauty personified". Classic Gorilla. They play this straight all the way through here, which makes it feel pretty uneventful. 

This is a tough show for me to rate. I was at peak fandom here in 1991 and loved all of the big storylines, outside of Hogan/Slaughter. The Intercontinental matches is one of my all time favorites, Virgil winning the Million Dollar Belt was a really great moment and Mountie in jail is still some of the best comedy they ever did. However, ending the show with Valentine/IRS, Hogan and then a wedding where nothing really happened was not the greatest choice. Either way, I think there is more than enough to like here to get a thumbs up, but it was really close to greatness and just barely falls short because of the last hour. 

Overall Rating: 83%

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