Sunday, December 3rd, 2006
James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
Ah yes, why am I watching this for the third time again?
MNM vs. The Hardys
They still continue to getting introduced as Team Extreme in ECW, which is just weird to me. The graphic right after the announcement shows The Hardys. This is no doubt a worthy pay-per-view match, but it came out of nowhere and with little to no build for their reunion. That and they already wrestled on Raw. Matt and Mercury start off with Matt for some reason deciding to start this match off with a headlock. I would have liked to have seen an old school fast paced opening before the heat segment. Jeff tags in and goes to work on the arm of Mercury. Things pick up a little bit, with Matt hitting a Razor's Edge into a sit down powerbomb. Melina grabs the ankle of Matt while he's running the ropes and he ends up eating a clothesline after the distraction. For some reason this match just isn't clicking like it should be yet. Jeff gets a hot tag in and hits a nice face first sit down suplex. Matt knocks Mercury out of the ring and then hits a dive. Nitro follows with a leap over the top rope, which naturally leads to Jeff leaping off the top rope. The Hardys hit Poetry In Motion followed by a Twist Of Fate. Mercury is able to pull Nitro out of the way for the Swanton and then hits a springboard missile dropkick. Tazz channels his inner Gorilla Monsoon and gets on Mercury for not hooking the leg on his pin attempt. Jeff is finally able to hit a Whisper In The Wind and knocks both opponents down and tags in Matt. Matt hits the bulldog/clothesline combo and two Side Effects for a 2 count. Nitro hits an interesting hurricanrana on Jeff off the top rope. Nitro heads up top again, but Jeff gets there and then Matt props Mercury on the opposite corner. They hit double superplexes, but Melina gets on the apron to distract the referee. She tries to slap Jeff, but he blocks it and she accidentally gets dropkicked off the apron by Nitro. Jeff rolls him up, but he kicks out at 2. Mercury is in and they hit the Snapshot, but Matt breaks up the pin attempt. MNM props Jeff up on the top rope and they are attempting a super Snapshot. Matt makes the save and hits a double Diamond Cutter. Jeff hits a Swanton on both men and that's enough for the victory. This was a pretty good match, but a little below of what both teams are capable of.
Match Rating: ***1/4
Rob Van Dam gets his chance to talk about the Extreme Elimination Chamber, who says the risks are worth the reward tonight.
Striker's Rules Match
Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney
Striker lists a few rules, but I don't feel like listing them out. I mean, WWE didn't even feel like announcing any matches for this piece of trash undercard. Balls is barely able to leapfrog Striker and almost looks like he pulls his groin doing so. Striker avoids a charging Mahoney and his shoulder hits the ring post. This is already the longest 7 minutes of my life. Well except this is like the third time I am watching this horrendous show. Balls hits a side suplex and then goes up top, which is against Striker's rules. Striker shakes the ropes and crotches Balls. I'm sorry, I just couldn't care any less about this one. Balls hits a variation of a spinebuster to put us all out of our misery. You would have never known that these two were wrestling for a pay-per-view payday.
Match Rating: 1/4*
They show CM Punk getting ready for the main event and then cut to Sabu getting medical treatment after an apparent attack.
Sylvester Terkay & Elijah Burke vs. FBI
It's becoming more and more apparent as to why they didn't actually announce the matches for this show. I do truly like Elijah Burke. Guido putting on Elijah's hat is likely the highlight of the match. Terkay tags in and dominates. He takes Guido and tosses him over the top rope onto Tony Mamaluke. Elijah hits a clothesline with a leg sweep, but Mamaluke breaks up the pin. Mamaluke gets in some offense on Elijah and he hits some double dropkicks with Guido to knock Terkay down. They hit a double flapjack on Burke for a 2 count. Burke hits the Elijah Experience after a forearm to the face by Terkay and that's all. After the match, Terkay hits a package suplex on Guido as some guy in the crowd chants "T-N-A". Dude has some awful taste.
Match Rating: 3/4*
They show Sabu getting put into an ambulance with RVD and CM Punk watching. If there's one rule to putting on a pay-per-view with a terrible roster, it's definitely don't have one of the biggest stars be taken off the card due to a fake injury.
Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer
This match wouldn't main event a bingo hall, which is usually a good sign. On the plus side, we are getting close to the halfway point. Khali gets involved early by pulling down the rope as Dreamer is running, sending him to the floor. The referee ejects Khali from the match, but Daivari is able to continue to go to work on Dreamer. He slaps on a sleeper, not only to Dreamer, but to all of us watching. Dreamer is able to counter out of it and it leads to Daivari missing a crossbody off the top rope. Dreamer puts him in the tree of woe and then hits him with a dropkick to the face. Dreamer goes for the DDT, but Daivari is able to roll him up and grab the tights to end the match that was the quality of a dark match. After the match, Khali comes out and slams him on the steel stage.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Paul Heyman talks to Hardcore Holly and lets him know that he will be replacing Sabu tonight. No one says main event like 2006 Hardcore Holly.
Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn & Ariel
Kelly Kelly wishes CM Punk luck tonight. Why in the world would you have two heel acts that not a single person cares about square off on a pay-per-view with no story to speak of? The only over person here is a 19 year old who shouldn't be thrown into a match. If not for Ariel screaming, you could hear a pin drop. The women finally get in and Ariel quickly knocks Kelly down. Kelly is able to crawl to her corner, but Knox walks to the back. Ariel picks up the victory and this was just so terrible. After the match, Ariel attacks Kelly and then Sandman's music hits. You know what, maybe he should have had a match tonight. Just spitballing. He attacks Thorn with the Singapore Cane until Thorn rolls out of the ring. He chases after him and attacks some more. What a stupid show.
Match Rating: 1/4*
They go to a backstage interview with Bobby Lashley and show highlights of his short time in ECW. He cuts a generic promo and it's just really obvious that he's winning tonight.
Paul Heyman is out to stall since we are only 90 minutes into a pay-per-view that cost as much as every other show.
Extreme Elimination Chamber For The ECW Championship
Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. Test vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam
RVD and Holly start things off. Each pod has a weapon in it, making this "extreme". Holly goes off the top rope onto the steel portion and RVD gets a boot up. That allows RVD to hit Rolling Thunder over the top rope onto Holly on the steel. Holly suplexes RVD back into the ring and on his tailbone. Our next competitor is CM Punk, who was getting his name chanted just a few seconds earlier. He tosses the chair into Holly's face, but then eats it from RVD. RVD hits a monkey flip onto the steel chair, but then Punk hits a cool leg drop onto RVD onto the chair. RVD is busted open around his eye. Punk then throws him head first into a chair propped between the top two ropes. Punk leaps off the top for a hurricanrana on Holly, but he's caught and swung into the chains. Test is in next and has a crowbar. He hits Punk with it and then uses it on RVD's bloodied face. RVD hits Test in the hands with a chair and then Holly next. He then skateboards Punk with the chair in the corner. RVD hits the 5 Star Frog Splash on Punk and he's gone. Fantastic booking there. Test is up and hits Holly with a big boot and I guess he's eliminated? No one seems to know, but Holly is out. RVD hits a top rope kick on Test and then climbs on top of Big Show's pod. Big Show grabs his foot and that allows Test to hit him with a chair and then throw him off the top. Test then climbs up top and hits an elbow onto a chair onto RVD's face to eliminate RVD. Bobby Lashley is next, but Heyman's goons take out the ref and make sure that Lashley can't enter. Test taunts him as he tries to figure a way out. He uses the table in the pod to smash the chains on top and climbs his way out. Lashley kicks Test off the turnbuckle and hits a top rope clothesline. Lashley throws Test into the pods. Test gets in a little bit of offense, but then Lashley hits a Spear to eliminate him. We still have 68 seconds until Big Show enters. He comes in and has a barbed wire baseball bat. He swings and misses, getting caught in the chains. Lashley capitalizes and no one seems to care. A bloodied Big Show catches, Lashley, but Lashley escapes, hits the Spear and we have a new champion. What a poorly booked match and unfortunately didn't live up to any of the other Elimination Chamber matches prior to this.
Match Rating: **
This is absolutely one of the worst shows that WWE has ever put on and I am hoping that this is the last time I ever force myself to watch it again. This failed miserably and deservingly so. Flat out terrible.
Overall Rating: 14%
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