Saturday, April 1st, 2022
SoFi Stadium
Inglewood, California
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork2
Becky G (?) is here to sing "America The Beautiful". She's no Willie Nelson. We then get a cold open with Kevin Hart and clips from some of the Hollywood spoofs. Not their best work there. The stage setup is pretty cool this year overall. They typically knock that out of the park.
Miz and Snoop Dogg are in the ring to officially kick things off. I still don't get the whole host thing. They do a decent little kickoff and lead us off to our opening contest.
After Theory's entrance, they show a Make-A-Wish promo with WWE Superstars. They then introduce a group of Make-A-Wish kids on the stage for Cena's entrance.
United States Championship Match
Austin Theory vs. John Cena
Cena and this hair...I just can't get used to it. We get the usual slow start until Theory bites the ear of Cena. That gets Cena going to the ref and Theory uses the distraction to his advantage. Theory hits his somersault clothesline and then goes for a somersault dropkick, but Cena moves out of the way. Cena goes for the STF, but Theory bites his way out of it. Theory clobbers him with a clothesline. This is all just kind of weird because so many former stars have come back at older than what Cena is and dominate bigger stars than what Theory is. Cena blocks a kick and gets him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Theory weasels his way out and hits a DDT for a 2 count. After trading right hands, Theory slaps on a sleeper hold in the center of the ring. Cena battles out and hits some shoulder tackles before hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He gets him up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Theory grabs the top rope. The struggle leads to Theory accidentally hitting the referee and knocking him out. Cena puts him in the STF and Theory taps, but the ref doesn't see it. Theory hits a low blow and then hits the A Town Down for the victory. I don't know how else to classify that other than a really big disappointment.
Match Rating: **
Men's WrestleMania Showcase Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Match
Braun Strowman & Ricochet vs. Viking Raiders vs. Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits
These matches are never fun to recap. I honestly forget that Strowman ever came back. After a little bit of wrestling, all eight men are in the ring brawling. The Viking Raiders hit an awesome double team springboard clothesline. The Raiders have always been good. Braun sneaks up behind them and knocks them both down with a shoulder tackle. Gable then sneaks up and hits an awesome German suplex after a roll through into a bridge for a two count. WWE has wasted his career like none other. Dawkins knocks Gable off the top rope, but then misses with a leg drop off the top rope. Ivar then goes up top and misses with a moonsault. Braun now goes up top and hits a splash, but the pin attempt gets broken up by just about everyone. Otis comes in and tries to go upstairs, but Montez hits him with a kick. Now it's chaos again and we get the obligatory tower of doom spot. It's a delayed vertical suplex that ends with Ricochet hitting a crossbody on Ford on the way down. I wish they wouldn't do it so much, but that was a cool one. We now get the Braun running around the ring spot, but ends with Dawkins knocking him down with a surprise shoulder tackle. Ricochet hits a shooting star press from the top, but then goes for one in the ring and Dawkins gets his knees up. Montez comes in and hits a splash and the Profits pick up the win in a total sprint of a match. I'm sure a lot of people will go lower than me on this, but this was fun wrestling even if it relied a little too much on the usual.
Match Rating: ***1/2
Logan Paul vs. Seth Rollins
Paul makes his way out on a zipline and Rollins gets a conductor to lead the crowd in singing Rollins' entrance music. Paul leapfrogs Rollins a few times and tosses him over the top rope. Paul hits a somersault clothesline on the way back into the ring. He then hits a bunch of fists to the ribs of Rollins. Paul then hits a crossbody and a standing moonsault for an early 2 count. Paul leaps up to the top rope, but misses with the moonsault. Rollins comes back and brawls before throwing him out of the ring. Rollins hits him with a trio of dives to the outsdide and then stomps on the right hand of Paul. It should be noted that Paul has a mascot for his energy drink at ringside. Rollins goes for a Pedigree, Paul powers out, but he turns it into a sunset flip for 2. We then get a series of pin attempts that leads to Paul hitting a huge right hand and knocking Rollins out. Paul covers, but Rollins kicks out. There was a delay from Paul covering with him selling the hand injury from getting stomped a few moments earlier. Paul catches Paul and he hits a sit down powerbomb for a nearfall. The mascot pulls Paul out of the way from Rollins and it's revealed that it's KSI. I'll again show my age by never hearing of this guy. The distraction allows Paul to throw Rollins into the ring post. Rollins is on the announce table with KSI videoing. Rollins grabs KSI while Logan leaps from the top rope and he lands on KSI. Rollins hits the Pedigree, but Paul kicks out at 2. Paul hits the Go To Sleep and follows it up with a Frog Splash, but again Rollins kicks out. Paul is going for the coast to coast, but Rollins hits him with a super kick. Rollins follows it up with the Stomp and that's all to the crowd's delight. This was the type of good match that you would expect out of Rollins.
Match Rating: ***3/4
Damage Control vs. Trish Stratus, Lita & Becky Lynch
This is one of those matches that almost is better for a different card just because it undeservingly gets overlooked with so many big matches on the card. All six women start brawling before the match officially starts and Lynch hits a baseball slide. We are underway and Dakota Kai hits a scorpion kick. Sky hits a springboard missile dropkick and gets a 2 count. Becky is finally able to make a tag and Lita comes in and hits a headscissors on Sky. Lita hits Vertigo, but Sky kicks out. A distraction from Sky allows Kai to hit a kick to the back of Lita's head. Damage Control cuts the ring in half for the second time until Trish finally gets tagged in. Trish is 2 years older than Cena and you would never know it. They do a cool spot where Lita and Becky hold Trish upside down to get Kai from the top rope and hurricanrana her onto her partners on the outside. Lita hits Poetry In Motion and Becky hits a top rope leg drop, but Kai kicks out. Becky puts on Dis-Arm-Her, but it gets disrupted. Bayley hits a clubbing clothesline to the back of Lynch's head. Lynch hits a suplex, but Bayley hits a Rose Plant only to get broken up by Lita. Trish hits Stratusfaction and then Bayley hits Bayley To Belly. We have chaos again and Sky hits a moonsault to the floor. We get some more chaos and it leads to Lita hitting a moonsault. Bayley goes for a Bayley To Belly on the second rope, but Becky counters it for a Manhandle Slam and the victory. That wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it. Trish is still pretty darn good.
Match Rating: ***
Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio
Dominik comes out in a cop car, handcuffed and walked to the ring by a police escort. Rey gets to come out in a low rider with Snoop Dogg to Eddie's music. It's interesting how over Dominik has been able to get over as a heel. The stars seemed to just have really aligned for him with this storyline. For some reason this match is sponsored by Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We get some fun action to start. Dominik taunts his mom and sister and then throws his sister's drink in her face. Rey comes out and Dominik attacks him. Dominik continues to work on Rey and pulls out a Michinoku Driver. He goes back to his mom and she slaps him. Rey pushes Dom into the ring post and gives his wife a kiss. Rey hits a variation of the sunset flip powerbomb and goes for the Three Amigos. Dom pushes Rey into the corner and out comes Finn Balor and Damian Priest. Dominik then drops Rey face-first into the top turnbuckle. Now Dominik goes for Three Amigos and only gets in one. Rey is able to hit the 619, but Priest and Balor interfere allowing Dominik to get in a cheap shot. Out comes Legado del Fantasmo and they go after Judgment Day. Back in the ring, Dominik nails Rey with a clothesline and then hits him with a 619. Dominik goes up top and hits a Frog Splash, but Rey kicks out. Dominik starts untying the top turnbuckle, which distracts the ref. He grabs Damian's jacket and pulls out a chain. Bad Bunny, who was doing guest commentator work, comes out and grabs it away from him. Rey hits the 619 and the splash for the victory. This was a lot of fun with an easy to follow storyline and an all time great pulling off yet another very good match in his legendary career.
Match Rating: ***3/4
SmackDown Women's Championship Match
Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte Flair
These two had a very good WrestleMania match back in the audience-free Mania. We get a back and forth match for quite awhile. Rhea goes for Rip Tide, but Charlotte counters it into a wicked DDT that clearly is not the end of the match. Both women are knocked down after a double boot. They start battling on their way back up and Rhea gets the better of it. Charlotte is able to come back with an exploder suplex and kips up. Charlotte goes up top, but Rhea meets her up there. She gets knocked off, but climbs back up and hits a German suplex that flips her face first onto the mat. Charlotte somehow hits Natural Selection. These big matches need to stop having so many quick recoveries. We get some German suplexes and Rhea hits one where Charlotte almost gets Brock Lesnar'd in a scary moment. She seems to be fine, as she hits a big boot for a 2 count. She has a rug burn on the bridge of her nose. Man, she really was very lucky if that's all that she got out of that. Charlotte hits a moonsault from the top to the floor and quickly throws Rhea back in the ring. She goes for the Figure Four, but Rhea doesn't allow it. Rhea hits Rip Tide, but Charlotte kicks out. We also need to stop it with the looks of disbelief after every kick out. I mean, I guess this one makes sense with it being her finisher, but it's every pin attempt. Charlotte sneaks in an inside cradle and Rhea barely escapes in time. Charlotte hits a Spear after escaping a submission move and again Rhea kicks out. Charlotte is frustrated and they start trading blows. Charlotte hits a boot and puts on the Figure Four. Rhea is in the corner and grabs the ropes to break the hold before it was really ever on. They battle up on the second rope and Rhea is able to hit Rip Tide to become the new champion. I liked this quite a bit, but probably not as much as most will.
Match Rating: ***3/4
Snoop Dogg and Miz are out again and Snoop talks about Miz not having a match. Out comes Pat McAfee. This is a Michael Cole dream come true. McAfee says he'll take Miz up on his open challenge, but Miz says that he can't make matches official. Snoop says he can make it happen and here we go.
Miz vs. Pat McAfee
McAfee attacks Miz right away and hits him with a spinebuster. McAfee goes for a superplex, but Miz is able to get out of it. McAfee flips off the top and lands on his feet and hits a kick on Miz. The booking of Miz in the post-McMahon era has sucked. Miz wants to leave and is taunted by George Kittle. He gives him a shove and Kittle hits him with a clothesline. McAfee then hits a somersault dive from the top rope and Corey Graves hopes the 49ers never win another game. McAfee hits a big punt to the face and that's all. This is kind of hard to rate since it was meant to feel impromptu and really only just for the surprise factor.
Match Rating: *
Someone named Lil Uzi Vert comes out to perform some song. Whyyyyyy? I just want to go to bed.
Undisputed Tag Team Championship Match
Usos vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
It's kind of crazy that Kevin Owens has main evented WrestleMania two years in a row and now the guy who I have been typing on here forever saying he was the best performer in the company is joining him this year. The Usos isolate Sami early on and it's starting to feel like the crowd is a little tired here. I really don't get why they aren't just doing three hours with it being two nights. Owens finally gets tagged in and hits two Frog Splashes for a 2. KO goes for the swanton, but the knees are up and then gets hit with an Uso Splash. Owens avoids the butt bop and then hits a cannon ball. Owens goes up top again, but Jey grabs his leg. Sami hits a brainbuster on the apron and KO hits the Swanton, but Jimmy kicks out. Sami is up top this time and hits an Uso Splash, but we have another kickout. The Usos take control back and hit a double superkick on Sami. They hit a second double superkick and Sami kicks out again. They go for the 1D, but Owens trips them up and Sami almost steals the victory. The Usos are battling with Owens on the announce table and throw him through. The Usos hit the 1D on Zayn and apparently becomes the first to ever kick out of that. Sami is able to hit an exploder into the corner and KO climbs up to the corner. Sami makes the tag and he hits the pop up powerbomb on both Usos. Sami hits a Helluva Kick and Owens hits a Stunner, but that's not enough. All four men are standing in the center of the ring and start going after it. Owens hits some superkicks before getting hit by a few. The Usos go up top and hit the double Uso Splash, but Owens kicks out. There sure have been a lot of kick outs tonight. Sami is able to help make a save and Owens hits a brainbuster off the top rope. Sami is tagged in and hits the Helluva Kick. He sets him up and hits another one. Owens hits the Stunner on Jimmy and Zayn hits a third one on Jey. Sami and Owens end the streak and get a huge reaction to go with it. I know a lot of people won't agree, but this was my favorite match of the night. There's still a lot left to unpack for tomorrow night too.
Match Rating: ****
This was a very good start to WrestleMania weekend. Just about everything on the show was good with my only real issue being the pacing. I don't know why this needed to be 4 hours especially since a lot of it was just due to video packages being long. Thumbs up for WrestleMania Saturday.
Overall Rating: 83%
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