Monday, May 14th, 2007
Hampton Coliseum
Hampton, Virginia
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John Cena is out to kick off the show. He's missing the WWE Championship belt and he was embarrassed because he cares about what that title means. Khali has never been pinned or submitted and Cena says that apparently he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Cena says that people have told him that Judgment Day is a bad idea, but he wants his title back. Khali is on the Titan Tron with Ranjin Singh, his translator. This leads to a highlight package of Khali's destruction. Khali then yells some things and Ranjin translates it to "If you want some, come get some". Cena heads to the back and then gets destroyed by Khali as we go to commercial.
Jeff Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch
Their frantic pace to start suggests that this won't last very long. Hardy dominates the majority of the early portion of the match. They battle up on the second rope, with Hardy shoving Murdoch off. He goes for the Swanton, but Murdoch gets his knees up, but only a 2 count. Jeff gets him on an inside cradle and that's enough. After the match, Murdoch is upset, but then helps Jeff up and shakes his hand before heading to the back.
Match Rating: 3/4*
More Snitsky vignettes. Still no one cares.
The McMahons, Jonathan Coachman and Umaga are backstage. Shane tells Coach that they have his back today against Lashley. More terrible Vince "jokes".
Intercontinental Championship Match
Santino Marella vs. Chris Masters
We're about 30 seconds in and JR and Lawler are both telling us Santino's reign is over. This match is very much just a bunch of moves with little psychology. We all know where it's going too. Santino gets a fluke pinfall and that's all. After the match, Masters attacks him and puts on the Master Lock.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Victoria vs. Candice Michelle
Melina is out to be the guest commentator. The "Candice Michelle is good, we promise" era is a rough one. Poor Victoria is stuck selling these weak looking moves and losing in 90 seconds. After she signals for the belt and Melina calls her fat. I am so glad that we have moved on to a much better time in women's wrestling.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Your new World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, is here. He brags about cashing in on Undertaker and this just feels like it's dragging. He talks about how he has to face Batista in 6 days at Judgment Day. He's about to head back, but then out comes Shawn Michaels. He says he'll give Edge a farewell tonight. So I guess they're wrestling tonight.
Lashley is interviewed backstage, but quickly interrupted by Shane. Shane does the "I'm not touching you" thing and then wishes him a good night.
Jonathan Coachman vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley destroys Coach and hits him with the Spear for the victory. After the match, Shane and Umaga attack Lashley. Lashley is able to overcome it and then chases after Vince. Shane sneak attacks him and allows Vince to run to the back. They show Lashley chasing Shane to the back and he escapes in a limo and then Vince sneak attacks Lashley, laying him out. Make this feud end.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Carlito vs. Val Venis
Val Venis is a garbage human being. On the other end, I saw Carlito at the airport the other day. I didn't bother him, although I'm sure he saw me looking at him. He dumps the sewer scum out of the ring and then drives him into the apron. Venis slaps his knee really hard, but his kick is so bad because he is severely out of shape. Why is Carlito having to sell any offense to a guy who is on TV like twice a year and no one cares about? Carlito hits the Back Stabber for the victory. Out comes Ric Flair and Carlito escapes through the crowd.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Shawn Michaels is getting ready backstage and in walks Randy Orton to wish him good luck. Orton then tells Michaels that he thinks he can beat him. Michaels challenges him to a match at Judgment Day.
They run down the Judgment Day card and it feels so thrown together.
Edge vs. Shawn Michaels
This would have to be an absolute classic to save this absolute dumpster fire of an episode. Michaels hits a Thesz press off the apron to Edge on the floor into the commercial break. When we come back, Michaels is knocked out with the referee trying to hold Edge back. They are selling it like a head injury for Michaels and the referee checking in on him. Edge levels him with a boot to teh face, but Michaels kicks out at 2. Edge slows it down and dominates the majority of the match. Edge misses off the ropes to give Michaels a possible opening. He hits the flying forearm and kips up. He hits the inverted atomic drop and a scoop slam. Michaels climbs up top and hits the elbow drop. He tunes up the band and hits Sweet Chin Music for the victory. Um...sure? What a great reminder that Raw is better than SmackDown. I would have accepted it more if it was a barnburner, but this was just standard stuff. After the match, Orton comes out and attacks Michaels. They brawl until Orton kicks Michaels in the crotch. We then get what is maybe the first Orton punt? Don't quote me. He stands over Michaels as we go off the air.
Match Rating: **1/4
Man, 2007 continues to just suck and not even in a fun way. Val Venis? Snitsky? Great Khali? Candice Michelle? No thanks.
Overall Rating: 34%
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