Monday, May 7th, 2007
Bryce Jordan Center
University Park, Pennsylvania
Follow me on Twitter: @WorkTheNetwork22
Oh good, it's Vince McMahon and more cringe racism. We get a video package of Great Khali's reign of terror last week. Man, this show is off to a great start. Shawn Michaels comes out and reminds Vince that he was the one who was supposed to be the #1 contender. Shawn wants Great Khali and the winner will face John Cena at Judgment Day. Vince then goes back to the ECW Championship and Bobby Lashley is out to interrupt now. I have pretty much zoned out to this whole segment. I don't think I could care any less about this feud than I do. Anyway, they are going to fight at Judgment Day and Vince tried to provoke him into attacking him, which he isn't allowed to do unless it is done physically. The ban isn't on Jonathan Coachman, so Lashley grabs him and attacks him instead. Lashley chokes Coach with a microphone cord and this segment just won't end. About 22% of the televised portion of this episode was just used on this opening segment.
Mickie James helps Candice Michelle put her top on backstage. What is this episode?
Mickie James & Candice Michelle vs. Victoria & Melina
I mean this match is exactly what you would think. The only reason it exists is so that we can be told that Candice Michelle is really improving. Nevermind the three other performers who are much better. Candice does a blind tag, almost screws up her timing and then hits a kick to pin Melina. Candice stinks.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Intercontinental Championship Match
Chris Masters vs. Santino Marella
Masters gets the already in the ring treatment and Santino gets close to a zero reaction. They play up the fact that Santino is an underdog and Masters dominated the early portion of the match. He hits a big clothesline on Santino. Masters misses with a knee drop and hits a series of kicks on Masters. Masters misses Santino in the corner and hits his shoulder on the ring post. Santino rolls him up and is successful in his first title defense. There wasn't much drama here.
Match Rating: 1/2*
Mr. Kennedy is out in street clothes and he lets us know that there are 328 days until WrestleMania XXIV. That's when he'll cash in and become the new champion.
Maria is with Randy Orton, who requested his match with John Cena tonight. It won't take him an hour to beat John Cena like it did for Shawn Michaels. He says that his life will get back on track tonight.
Handicap Match
Highlanders vs. Umaga
I forgot that the Highlanders still worked here. Umaga quickly does the butt bop and the Samoan Spike. He then gives it to the other Highlander, rolls him on top of the other and hits a top rope splash for the win. Squash.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Edge approaches Mr. Kennedy backstage. He goats Kennedy into defending his Money In The Bank briefcase tonight. It's all kind of strange with them both being heels.
WWE Championship No Disqualification #1 Contender Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Great Khali
Michaels jumps him as soon as he gets in the ring and Khali ends up tied in the ropes. He quickly gets out of it and hits Michaels with a big boot. Khali misses with a leg drop and Michaels grabs a chair. He smacks Khali in the head with it. He hits the top rope elbow drop, but his Sweet Chin Music attempt was blocked and Khali hits him with a chop to the head. Michaels makes another comeback and hits a baseball slide. He clears off the table and attempts to hit a DDT, but Khali just chucks him in the air. He then grabs him by the throat and hits the double chokeslam through the table. The referee then calls for the bell? Why not just have him get pinned? I mean it took Michaels working frantically, but he pulled off a watchable Khali match here. I just don't love that ending.
Match Rating: *1/2
John Cena is interviewed and says that he doesn't back down from any challenge, even Great Khali.
Cryme Tyme is here, remember them? They're having a Mother's Day sale. They have a steak that they stole from Viscera, prescription pills they stole from Eugene and a Hummer they stole from Ron Simmons. They show clips of the reactions and this was a complete waste of time. At the end, Big Dick Johnson shows up wearing a Spider-Man costume. Shad says that he's Batman and hits him with a baseball bat. Get it?
Hardys vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are out again to watch the match. Jeff gets a hot tag after a short heat segment on Matt. He hits Whisper In The Wind and Matt hits a Twist Of Fate. Jeff goes up top, but Charlie Haas gets up there. Matt tags in and hits a back suplex. Jeff hits the Swanton for the win. Cade and Murdoch say that they want to congratulate the Hardys and go in the ring to talk to them. This time the Hardys shake their hands and head to the back.
Match Rating: 3/4*
They show the saga of Carlito and Ric Flair.
Snitsky.
Carlito and Torrie Wilson are out and calls out Flair. Flair doesn't show up and then says he's going to get rid of the bad things in his life and that means Torrie. He then starts speaking in Spanish. No one cares.
Money In The Bank Briefcase Match
Mr. Kennedy vs. Edge
Edge attacks Mr. Kennedy when he's walking down the aisle and then throws him into the barricade. He throws him into the ring post and then hits him in the head with a TV monitor. Edge rolls him into the ring and the referee makes Edge back off to check on Kennedy. Kennedy insists on the match starting and then he runs right into a spear. This was obviously panic booking and it felt like that. After the match, Edge hits Kennedy in the head with the briefcase. This wasn't a match and Mr. Kennedy didn't even end up being out as long as they thought. This really was the moment that Kennedy lost all momentum.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
I have a feeling we are going to see this match a few more times over the years. They basically have no time here, so we get a rushed match here. Orton still gets a rest hold in though. Cena hits the 5 Knuckle Suffle and then out comes Great Khali. He has Orton up for the FU, but Khali grabs his title and Cena drops Orton. Orton attacks him, but then Cena gets him in the STFU. Orton gets to the bottom rope and then Cena chases after Khali, but Khali nails him with the title belt. He stands over him on the ramp and we have no finish to the match as we go off the air.
Match Rating: 1/4*
Well stuff happened on this episode, but the bulk of the show was a total drag. The stuff that did happen, wasn't good. Khali becoming #1 contender, Carlito dumping Torrie and Edge randomly stealing another heel's briefcase aren't exactly big memorable moments.
Overall Rating: 43%
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